many Canadians will again receive a t...

many Canadians will again receive a tax refund.

Posted in the Georgetown Forum

PAT

Georgetown, Canada

#1 Jul 4, 2013
After filing their personal tax returns this year,
many Canadians will again receive a tax refund.

This is indeed a very exciting process, and I’ll explain it in a Q & A format:

Q. What is a tax refund payment?
A. It’s money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to stimulate the economy by purchasing a high-definition TV set.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on spending your tax refund
to the best advantage of the economy:

* If you spend your refund at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China .

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Loyal Canadians will strive to keep their money in Canada by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to hockey games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only truly Canadian businesses still operating.)

Resolution:

Go to a hockey game and drink beer with a tattooed prostitute
that you met at a yard sale.
Remember, the Canadian economy is depending on you
pam

Georgetown, Canada

#2 Jul 4, 2013
Tax his land, tax his wage,
Tax his bed in which he lays.
Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
Teach him taxes is the rule.

Tax his cow, tax his goat,
Tax his pants, tax his coat.
Tax his ties, tax his shirts,
Tax his work, tax his dirt.

Tax his chew, tax his smoke,
Teach him taxes are no joke.
Tax his car, tax his grass,
Tax the roads he must pass.

Tax his food, tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his sodas, tax his beers,
If he cries, tax his tears.

Tax his bills, tax his gas,
Tax his notes, tax his cash.
Tax him good and let him know
That after taxes, he has no dough.

If he hollers, tax him more,
Tax him until he's good and sore.
Tax his coffin, tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays.

Put these words upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me to my doom!"
And when he's gone, we won't relax,
We'll still be after the inheritance tax.

~ I've heard this is Attributed to Woody Guthrie

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