How to minimize flakes for casual sex?

How to minimize flakes for casual sex?

Posted in the Online Dating Forum


El Paso, TX

#1 Jul 3, 2011
I'd appreciate some advice from someone who's been there, done that.

Okay, I go to craigslist to meet women for casual sex. I write steamy, attractive ads. I know they're attractive because I get good responses. I don't mean from escorts, or spammers trying to get me to sign up to a dating site. I'm talking about women in town who actually take the time to comment about my ad, and then share details about themselves, what part of town they live, their expectations, etc.

I calmly let women know upfront that I'm only interested in casual, no strings attached sex, that I'm DD free and clean, that I use protection, and that I'm discreet. We exchange pics, and some even give me their number. I then arrange a day and time we should get together. While I prefer that we meet at my place or hers, I'll even suggest that we first meet in a public setting like a bar or the mall, if that makes her more comfortable. Whether we meet in public or private, these women seem to be okay with the plan.

But when it comes time to actually meet, they flake out. Usual excuses like "something came up", or "I've had a long day and was tired", or "I couldn't find a babysitter." And they don't even follow up with a day or time that's good for them.

Now I realize that craigslist isn't a bar where you can get a good feel for a person when you first meet them. But these women consciously responded to a casual sex ad, knowing what to expect, and then flake out at the last minute. Sometimes I wonder if they respond just to get some cheap thrill of attention, knowing in advance that they're not going to commit. But I don't appreciate my time being wasted. If you're really serious about getting together, let's make it happen.

So will someone please tell me why a woman flakes out for casual sex and what I can do to minimize this? What works and what doesn't? What steps should be taken to guide her comfortably through the process? I'd appreciate both a man's and woman's perspective on this. Thank you.

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#2 Mar 25, 2013
I've been flaked on tons of times meeting women on craigslist for casual encounters. There's no sure way to minimize flakes other than experience and setting up an initial coffee/mall/car date. There's also the women who want to meet right NOW, and when you are hesitant they find some other guy to meet up with since you weren't fast enough(which is my theory), but why would you want to meet up with a weird woman like that who doesn't even want to converse a little before meeting? Seems pretty creepy to me. Anyway, I've had women lead me on for a while only to keep flaking. They keep making excuse after excuse until they just disappear. And another time I had a date set up with a girl and she said she was on her way there and never showed up. Sometimes you get homosexuals who play games pretending to be women, other times you get women who play games. You just gotta prepare yourself. The only sure fire way I can think of to reduce flaking is either meet somewhere public first, or be more aggressive. It depends on the kind of woman you're dealing with. You got the sluts, and the not-so slutty ones.

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