Mental health and substance abuse tre...

Mental health and substance abuse treatment facility to open in Detroit

There are 2 comments on the Examiner.com story from Oct 28, 2012, titled Mental health and substance abuse treatment facility to open in Detroit. In it, Examiner.com reports that:

A mental health, and substance abuse treatment facility is scheduled to open in early 2013 adding much needed services in the city of Detroit.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Examiner.com.

Burgydean

Belleville, MI

#1 Oct 28, 2012
Duh, do ya think !
Evelina

Detroit, MI

#2 Oct 29, 2012


Hello, and Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline:


If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on line.

If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

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