Simran

New Delhi, India

#3583 Apr 14, 2013
jaspreet wrote:
Simran ... stop thinking so much just cut off of sons hair .. even i did the same .. one day i was fed up of tying his joodha .. i myself chopped his joodha ..
Didn't he say anything to you ???
RSS

San Jose, CA

#3584 Apr 14, 2013
I really want to get rid of my hair, but do it slowly. Like, shave first and then cut it over summer break. My sister shaves her legs and everything and just left to get her haircut for the first time. I'm shy and VERY VERY scared. I know it'll hurt my grandma since I'm the last person in the family to fully keep all hair, and she constantly asks if ill keep doing a patka or pagh, not brining up if ill cut it. When my sister told her she wanted to cut hers, I could tell she hated it inside. I absolutely hate it though, to the point where I considered suicide a few months ago. I really don't know what to do and these thoughts are coming back. Props to my sister, younger than me in 7th grade and has so much courage. Not only that, but it feels morally wrong. Even though I hate it, I feel like I'm doing a big sin. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Sikhism. But I hate having to keep my hair, especially a beard. It looks so terrible and I notice people stare even when I talk to them. Please help me. I've posted on this before and no one noticed because of the arguing idiots on here. Please note I'm 16.
jaspreet

Bhopal, India

#3585 Apr 15, 2013
Simran wrote:
Lets see if he asks for it
But as of now he loves his hair and is not willing to get them cut
He was very clear that u look good is short hair but I won't get anything like that done but he loved the idea of a pony and a gut and now every day after comin back from school be tells me do tie it that way. He feels comfortable like that
But ya m planning to just take him to the salon and get straightening or something done for him as his hair is too heavy so doesn't look that good when open so ill go get them a bit organised without cutting them
Very cute nd nice story .. seems now u ur husband and ur son all are happy
Gold

Surrey, Canada

#3587 Apr 15, 2013
jaspreet wrote:
Simran ... stop thinking so much just cut off of sons hair .. even i did the same .. one day i was fed up of tying his joodha .. i myself chopped his joodha ..
@Jaspreet: you did it yourself....! and what did your son say and how did he feel? Does he go to school?
Did you take him to a barber later or left him with a shaggy style for a few days? He must have enjoyed the transformation. Cool, eh.
How did your family react?
I think you must have told them earlier. Good for you and freedom for your son as he would mix well in mainstream without any complex.
Share your experience.
Anonymous

Chandigarh, India

#3588 Apr 16, 2013
hi m from religious family and my elder son age 17 ask fr haircut what should i do
Gold

Surrey, Canada

#3589 Apr 16, 2013
manjeet kaur wrote:
hi m from religious family and my elder son age 17 ask fr haircut what should i do
@Manjeet Kaur: Reason expalining about tradition and the family. But I am sure this would be useful only for a short time. If the idea has occurred of a hair cut he will get it done sooner or later.
Better to let him have the option since he has asked you.
What would you have done if he just came abck after a haircut?
Anonymous

Chandigarh, India

#3590 Apr 16, 2013
Gold wrote:
<quoted text>@Manjeet Kaur: Reason expalining about tradition and the family. But I am sure this would be useful only for a short time. If the idea has occurred of a hair cut he will get it done sooner or later.
Better to let him have the option since he has asked you.
What would you have done if he just came abck after a haircut?
actually m amritdhari and my both sons too so that's why m thinking what should i do i should change the thinking of my son or cut his hair
Dalvindar

Delhi, India

#3591 Apr 17, 2013
manjeet kaur wrote:
<quoted text>
actually m amritdhari and my both sons too so that's why m thinking what should i do i should change the thinking of my son or cut his hair
Belonging to an amritdhari family it will be really difficult for your son to face your family and friends . Ask him to cut his hair only when he goes out of town or country for higger studies . Till then u can ask him to just reduce his hair volume and length. Do you cut or trim your hair ? If you do then your son will not face much problems
Anonymous

Chandigarh, India

#3592 Apr 17, 2013
Dalvindar wrote:
<quoted text>
Belonging to an amritdhari family it will be really difficult for your son to face your family and friends . Ask him to cut his hair only when he goes out of town or country for higger studies . Till then u can ask him to just reduce his hair volume and length. Do you cut or trim your hair ? If you do then your son will not face much problems
i never cut my hair as i am amrit dhari but my son want to cut
Dalvindar

Delhi, India

#3593 Apr 17, 2013
manjeet kaur wrote:
<quoted text>
i never cut my hair as i am amrit dhari but my son want to cut
The only option you have is to ask ur son to wait till he moves out for job or studies then he can cut his hair. Or else he will face many issues in your family and even you will be blamed for it. I understand in an amritdhari family its totally unacceptable . Invase you also have the same desire for haircut then maybe both of you i mean you and your son can go for a haircut. It all depends on your family. Asof now i feel the best option is to ask your son to simply reduce the volume of hair by thinning or by marginally reducing length . What is the length of your sons hair?
Anonymous

Ludhiana, India

#3594 Apr 17, 2013
actually i havnt a desire of haircut i love my religion but my son is so excited about haircut and he dont want to reduce volume he want to become haircut and clean shaved boy and its in my hand i can cut his hair or not because he is my son no any another family member have right to stop me because i am a mother and now am confused i should cut his hair or not
Dalvindar

Kolkata, India

#3595 Apr 17, 2013
manjeet kaur wrote:
actually i havnt a desire of haircut i love my religion but my son is so excited about haircut and he dont want to reduce volume he want to become haircut and clean shaved boy and its in my hand i can cut his hair or not because he is my son no any another family member have right to stop me because i am a mother and now am confused i should cut his hair or not
Well its great to know that you are a really understanding mother. In that case i would humbly suggest to let your son follow his heart . Coz sooner or later he will cut it and i dont feel any amount of convincing is going to steer him away from his desire .
Anonymous

Ludhiana, India

#3596 Apr 17, 2013
Dalvindar wrote:
<quoted text>
Well its great to know that you are a really understanding mother. In that case i would humbly suggest to let your son follow his heart . Coz sooner or later he will cut it and i dont feel any amount of convincing is going to steer him away from his desire .
as i am very frank to him he said he is also double minded because he is amrit dhari he said am breking this rule but on another side he has also desire to cut and i need everyone's advice plz dont say that religion is from heart i want him to make him one sided either a religious or haircut boy and give your suggestions
Dalvindar

Kolkata, India

#3597 Apr 17, 2013
manjeet kaur wrote:
<quoted text>
as i am very frank to him he said he is also double minded because he is amrit dhari he said am breking this rule but on another side he has also desire to cut and i need everyone's advice plz dont say that religion is from heart i want him to make him one sided either a religious or haircut boy and give your suggestions
Just let him follow his heart
Anonymous

Ludhiana, India

#3598 Apr 17, 2013
Dalvindar wrote:
<quoted text>
Just let him follow his heart
he his double minded
Anonymous

Ludhiana, India

#3599 Apr 17, 2013
Dalvindar wrote:
<quoted text>
Just let him follow his heart
and i want suggestions
Dalvindar

Delhi, India

#3600 Apr 17, 2013
Let him go ahead n get a haircut. And incase he doesnt like after getting his haircut. He can always take amrit and convert to being amritdhari again . In would suggest to let him see the other side
Anonymous

Ludhiana, India

#3601 Apr 17, 2013
Dalvindar wrote:
Let him go ahead n get a haircut. And incase he doesnt like after getting his haircut. He can always take amrit and convert to being amritdhari again . In would suggest to let him see the other side
actually i know if he cut then he never keep it in life again that's why i want to make my decision correct either a religious person or a haircut person so plz give your suggestion is break this rule or keep this rule
harry

Ashburn, VA

#3602 Apr 17, 2013
hello friends... my head's centre hairs are again growing out.and hair length has also increased.i am worried about this how should i manage them in summers.last tym my sister helped me but this tym how willi manage .she will not do my hairs this tym.pls friends help me to get rid from this problm.plz..plzz...bbye
Gold

Surrey, Canada

#3603 Apr 17, 2013
manjeet kaur wrote:
<quoted text>
actually i know if he cut then he never keep it in life again that's why i want to make my decision correct either a religious person or a haircut person so plz give your suggestion is break this rule or keep this rule
@Manjeet Kaur:- It is a touching story that you have. I have been following your posts and find it to be a dilema as to what should be suggested. Since you are from a traditional following and have brought up your children according to the proper Sikh faith, it is really stunning when you are faced with such a situation. Try and counsel your son. Maybe he would be in a position to understand.
Alternatively, it may be suggested to him to wait for a while. How old is he and in which class?
It will be very difficult for you to allow him a haircut and then see him at home everyday with a different life style.
I am not sure where you stay and how is the closeness with the extended family.
I have seen and met families in North America where parents were Sukhi saroop/Amritdhari but the children were with haircuts. I have also seen families where fathers were President of Gurudwara but boy was clean shaven.
SO in the world of today anything can happen and if we do not want to lose the children we ahve to be very considerate and open.
But still ask your son to be patient, weigh pro and cons and then if he feels bad about it, let him go for a haircut.
It will be hard on you , but then I feel equation with children is foremost. Hoping for good will to prevail.
Do keep sharing

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