Harsimran

Mumbai, India

#3276 Jan 29, 2013
Kulbir wrote:
<quoted text>
Hi Harsimran,
You should support your wife in her decision to cut her hair as cutting hair does not change a person from inside. Guru Nanak never laid emphasis on outer appearance, its what are you from within that matters. Your personal anxiety is arsing from her outer looks and what will others think about her. Stop caring about what others think as it a non issue as no one can make everybody happy.
Somewhere I feel that you are resisting change which is futile as "Only thing constant about change is change itself", therefore rather than fighting change you should embrace it. Talk to your wife frankly about this and tell her your personal views, your confusions will dissipate and your relationship will get stronger.
Dear Kulbir Thanks for your valuable advice but i am still fearing to take blame of her haircut on me and another doubt in my mind is Will I get the same respect in society after the haircut of my wife?
Harsimran

Mumbai, India

#3277 Jan 29, 2013
Kulbir wrote:
<quoted text>
Hi Harsimran,
You should support your wife in her decision to cut her hair as cutting hair does not change a person from inside. Guru Nanak never laid emphasis on outer appearance, its what are you from within that matters. Your personal anxiety is arsing from her outer looks and what will others think about her. Stop caring about what others think as it a non issue as no one can make everybody happy.
Somewhere I feel that you are resisting change which is futile as "Only thing constant about change is change itself", therefore rather than fighting change you should embrace it. Talk to your wife frankly about this and tell her your personal views, your confusions will dissipate and your relationship will get stronger.
Dear Kulbir Thanks for your valuable advice but I am not in favor of taking blame of her haircut on me & another doubt is that will I get the same respect in the society if she cuts her hair?
Harsimran

Mumbai, India

#3278 Jan 29, 2013
Gold wrote:
@Harsimran: I am sure you would have made up your mind of taking your wife for her haircut. It is the fear of the first time that is putting you off and posing so many questions. You an talk to her about your fears and I am sure you will find them fading away. How long is her hair? Maybe she always had a wish to get a haircut. If this was so, then she saw an opportunity to do it now. Whenever there is a change, someone will say something about it, always. But just think of the pleasure and support that your wife would get out of it. It is also possible that if you do not accompany her to the parlour, she would go on her own and then you have just to accept. I am pleased that she has decided to take you into her confidence. Do not let her down. You have not mentioned how long is her hair at present. You may suggest that she goes short in stages. If it is very long, then going mid length and later medium cut and then a short cut is best taken care of. This would also help you decide what is suitable. If it is not long but shorter side, then a cut is just a different style. Do not fear. It shows her love for you that she has taken you into confidence. And this would always be the case. You wanting her to take responsibility and she would like to tell others thst you liked it this way! I am sure that with suggestions you would have made up your mind to help and support your wife and next time you will tell us baout the glorious experience that she had and the discovery of a 'new' wife by you! Go ahead and all the best, buddy!
Dear Gold thanks for your continuous reply and valuable advise. One thing i want to tell you is that my wife's hair are above 3-feet & 5-inches the almost touching her knees, smooth silky thick and shiny brownish-black in colour as you have asked about the hair length of my wife. The other thing is that i am feeling shyness to go with her to the parlour because it is not tolerable for me that somebody put scissors on my wife,s hair in front of me. can i tell her that she can take any of her friend(any Lady)or neighbor along with her to the parlor if she want to cut her hair?
Deep Kaur

Ashburn, VA

#3279 Jan 29, 2013
Harsimram : Whn u r wife is going for cut & wht type haircut she want u talk ??
Gold

Ludhiana, India

#3280 Jan 29, 2013
@Harsimran: It is nice to read that you are reading the blog regularly. Hopefully, we are helping you to overcome your fears. When one is so much attached to long hairs, it is but natural that such thoughts would come to the mind. But since your wife has thought of a hair cut, it is best that you discuss and go with her. As you have said she has long hair, I think she finds trouble in taking care and managing her hair. Also she may be wanting to go for a change which we all like. She has two options - one as I suggested earlier, she can go for a gradual reduction of length. She can go for a 6" reduction in length first. You can always say that she had gone for a trim but the lady snipped off a little more. In most cases, such a cut would not be noticed. A little later she can get the length reduced more - at least 12". Then it is upto her how long or short she wants her length. By that time people will not mention it . As for your feeling guilty - no need to have the feeling. I think you would be thought of as the most modern couple! It is something to look forward to.
If you are taking her to a ladies parlour, you would not be allowed in; but if you decide to go to a Unisex parlour, then you would be welcome to view the hair cut. If she decides to take her friend or neighbour it is the best. In this case the lady accompanying should be a regular visitor to a parlour, then she would be knowing the ladies in the hair cutting section. Also if your wife visits the parlour routinely, she can discuss her haircut with the ladies there and help reach a decision. Why worry and take so much pressure on your mind? Change is good. and it is hair - will grow back. And maybe you would love it and support her for further haircuts...! Are you a turbaned Sikh?ood Luck and support her in this venture and experience. We wish both of you Luck.....
Harsimran

Mumbai, India

#3283 Jan 30, 2013
Deep Kaur wrote:
Harsimram : Whn u r wife is going for cut & wht type haircut she want u talk ??
Hi Ms Deep kaur
my wife is just going crazy. She is too much inspired from Mahi Gill and she like to see herself in that type of short haircut (sorry i did not know the name of that haircut). She may go cut her hair any time may be this week or next week, arguments between us are going on the topic of her haircut everyday
Harsimran

Mumbai, India

#3284 Jan 30, 2013
Gold wrote:
@Harsimran: It is nice to read that you are reading the blog regularly. Hopefully, we are helping you to overcome your fears. When one is so much attached to long hairs, it is but natural that such thoughts would come to the mind. But since your wife has thought of a hair cut, it is best that you discuss and go with her. As you have said she has long hair, I think she finds trouble in taking care and managing her hair. Also she may be wanting to go for a change which we all like. She has two options - one as I suggested earlier, she can go for a gradual reduction of length. She can go for a 6" reduction in length first. You can always say that she had gone for a trim but the lady snipped off a little more. In most cases, such a cut would not be noticed. A little later she can get the length reduced more - at least 12". Then it is upto her how long or short she wants her length. By that time people will not mention it . As for your feeling guilty - no need to have the feeling. I think you would be thought of as the most modern couple! It is something to look forward to.
If you are taking her to a ladies parlour, you would not be allowed in; but if you decide to go to a Unisex parlour, then you would be welcome to view the hair cut. If she decides to take her friend or neighbour it is the best. In this case the lady accompanying should be a regular visitor to a parlour, then she would be knowing the ladies in the hair cutting section. Also if your wife visits the parlour routinely, she can discuss her haircut with the ladies there and help reach a decision. Why worry and take so much pressure on your mind? Change is good. and it is hair - will grow back. And maybe you would love it and support her for further haircuts...! Are you a turbaned Sikh?ood Luck and support her in this venture and experience. We wish both of you Luck.....
Dear Gold
Thanks for your continuous support and suggestions. What i guessed by now is that my wife is fully made her mind for her haircut and prepared herself for cutting her long hairs. Day by day she is going crazy. Daily she spend hours in front of mirror with comb, brush and all. I think by now i should allow her whatever she wants to do with her hair after all she has right to live in her own way she is not a kid after all. But one question is still in my mind that how i took her to parlor i am felling shyness as i am not aware about hairstyles and all as i have never visited salons and parlors also my wife is not a regular visitor she only visits one or two times in two three months span in neighborhood local parlors, so what i think local parlor is not a good place for haircut. The parlor must be of good standard for haircut, also I am turban wearer so i am felling shyness in entering salon or parlor and one question is still in my mind that is how my wife will look after haircut and what people think if they look us together after her haircut?
gunvir

Halifax, Canada

#3285 Jan 30, 2013
i really think whether your hair is cut or not should matter whether you are a sikh. many people are not realizing that society is changing and people have different ways now. You can be a Sikh and have cut hair. Hair is just hair. Some people might say you have forgotten your religion and you are not a sikh, but what happened to don't descriminate anyone and accept everyone for who they are. The person with cut hair could be the best sikh and the nicest person. People are starting to forget that they are not living in India where many people have turbans, but living in other countries(USA, Canada) where not many people have turbans. It is really hard to manage and i think you can be a sikh with or without cut-hair.
Babaldeep Singh

Kalamazoo, MI

#3286 Jan 30, 2013
harman singh wrote:
i tell u my story as i came from traditional gursikh family and find turban as a burden and from last 3 years i was planning to cut my hairs but never done dat coz i know this will creat mess in my house but on 20 sep this year when i was tying my turban got in argue with my father as we are getting late for shop and i am have problem with my turban as i was not able to tie it and my father was shouting with me then i came to my sister's room from where i took seccior made ponytail and chopped it all ( that time my hairs are butt length) ant i cut it till my neck after coming back to lobby everyone is shocked the saw the pony in my hand and i said that from now we will reach to shop on time after dat i gone to saloon for styling and got my face shave. my parents didnt talked to me for 1 week after dat every thing is normal my sister told me dat i look more smart now and im also feeling very relax and from now onwards im not going to keep my hairs back & now i can smoke in open as erlier i used to smoke in lonly place.
what do you mean now you smoke? your parents would understand if you got a haircut but smoking? anyone's parents would be mad about tht
sharan kaur

Lucknow, India

#3287 Feb 1, 2013
its a nice experience when u face your first haircut.my husband was also against my decision when i got my first haircut as. But when i told him that its boring to spent whole life with hip touching gutt, he agreed.but when he saw me in new look,he got very excited.he told me why i had not done it before.then i was the first lady who taken this bold step.and it inspired the another ladies in the house and long gutts started disappear in our family.my sister in laws followed me and they give all the credit to me.
Gold

Ludhiana, India

#3288 Feb 1, 2013
@Sharan Kaur: CONGRATS!!!!'Gutts in Bins!' Sharan Kaur. It is a bold move you made in the right direction. And your husband deserves to be appreciated because he supported you. It is very nice to read that the other ladies also went for haircuts, so u have a leadership quality.
Do you go to the same parlour/hairdresser?
It is real nice to have change and it is hair only - will grow back. also you can encourage your children for haircuts and no one will like to object.
I am sure people like Harsimran will get courage after reading this incident.
Please give experience of you first hair cut. Your feeling and finally your liberty from lonh hair days. And you are from Ludhiana - the fashion capital of Punjab. Also Punjabi Jattis are now with haircuts and it is trendy!!!
COngrats once again and continue the chain - motivate more ladies into your looks.......
Harsimran

Mumbai, India

#3290 Feb 2, 2013
sharan kaur wrote:
its a nice experience when u face your first haircut.my husband was also against my decision when i got my first haircut as. But when i told him that its boring to spent whole life with hip touching gutt, he agreed.but when he saw me in new look,he got very excited.he told me why i had not done it before.then i was the first lady who taken this bold step.and it inspired the another ladies in the house and long gutts started disappear in our family.my sister in laws followed me and they give all the credit to me.
@ Sharan Kaur Thanks for sharing your views,it seems interesting,but i want to know that was your husband accompanied you during your haircut? secondly what was the reaction of your family and other peoples relatives etc after the haircut of your wife?
Harsimran

Mumbai, India

#3291 Feb 2, 2013
Gold wrote:
@Sharan Kaur: CONGRATS!!!!'Gutts in Bins!' Sharan Kaur. It is a bold move you made in the right direction. And your husband deserves to be appreciated because he supported you. It is very nice to read that the other ladies also went for haircuts, so u have a leadership quality.
Do you go to the same parlour/hairdresser?
It is real nice to have change and it is hair only - will grow back. also you can encourage your children for haircuts and no one will like to object.
I am sure people like Harsimran will get courage after reading this incident.
Please give experience of you first hair cut. Your feeling and finally your liberty from lonh hair days. And you are from Ludhiana - the fashion capital of Punjab. Also Punjabi Jattis are now with haircuts and it is trendy!!!
COngrats once again and continue the chain - motivate more ladies into your looks.......
@ Gold : Dear Gold you are right i also observed that most of ladies are preferring to cut their hair but how they could do it? is it relay easy for them to cut their hair also in punjab?
Harsimran

Mumbai, India

#3292 Feb 2, 2013
@GOLD can't got gutts in bins? what is it?
Harsimran

Mumbai, India

#3293 Feb 2, 2013
Gold wrote:
@Sharan Kaur: CONGRATS!!!!'Gutts in Bins!' Sharan Kaur. It is a bold move you made in the right direction. And your husband deserves to be appreciated because he supported you. It is very nice to read that the other ladies also went for haircuts, so u have a leadership quality.
Do you go to the same parlour/hairdresser?
It is real nice to have change and it is hair only - will grow back. also you can encourage your children for haircuts and no one will like to object.
I am sure people like Harsimran will get courage after reading this incident.
Please give experience of you first hair cut. Your feeling and finally your liberty from lonh hair days. And you are from
Ludhiana - the fashion capital of Punjab. Also Punjabi Jattis are now with haircuts and it is trendy!!!
COngrats once again and continue the chain - motivate more ladies into your looks.......
@ GOLD:
Dear Gold what is Gutts in Bins?
Gold

Ludhiana, India

#3294 Feb 2, 2013
Harsimran wrote:
<quoted text>
@ GOLD:
Dear Gold what is Gutts in Bins?
@Harsimran: it comes from ur feeling that there should b a change from a hip length gutt for life.
So when u go for a haircut, the gutt is cut and the cut hair goes to the bin for disposal. So 'gutts in bin'- when the ladies in ur house went for haircuts.
Actually our family friend has four daughtets and aftet marroahe all of them got haitcuts. While seeing their childhood pics tjey used this comment - guttan gayian bin vich'. Hon free!
Seema Singh

Ashburn, VA

#3295 Feb 2, 2013
Hi
Gold u have face book account plz send u r id i want to discuss something
sharan kaur

Lucknow, India

#3296 Feb 2, 2013
but my gutt not gone in bin.my husband put a condition,if i want haircut then did not left ur gutt in parlour .as he loves my hair i told his wish to parlour lady.he told me nt to worry nd after brushing my hair she made gutt and cut it in few seconds.she gave it in my hand .my heartbeat was extremely fast.i made pony of my very shot hair and covered with dupatta.i told my husband k i have a gift for him and give my gutt in his hands.he got very excited and caught me in his arms and opened my hair.
Avneet kaur

Dehra Dun, India

#3298 Feb 4, 2013
hello everybody
my story goes somewhat similar to sharan and harsimran's wife. i too had long hair touching my hips. during college times i used to feel proud of my long gutt. after marriage i started doing juda. as my hair was long juda was also very heavy. it was going fine till my daughter came to 8th std. last year. my daughter ashneet was 13 yrs then and was learning swimming. daily her hair used to get wet even though head was covered during swimming. it was becoming difficult to daily get hair wash after swimming and then drying the same. so i discussed the matter with my husband, i was so happy to know he was so understanding to the situation and himself suggested to get ashneet a haircut. i still remember the day when i took her to the unisex salon in our area. i was her long hair for the final time and we went to the salon. i asked the dealing lady to cut her hair till shoulders. she looked so cute after the haircut. her hair started looking very shinny and soft. then straight away we went to the market to buy new accessories for her short hair.... we bought colorful rubber bands, smart hair bands & new brush to style her hair.
then it became a normal activity for us to go to salon once a month to get a trim for her hair. she was feeling so happy and relaxed that she got rid of her gutt. now she make a small pony to school and after swimming it takes hardly 10 mins to get her hair dry and at home she leaves her hair lose.

since i always go with her to salon, i also started having fascination for haircut. i was sure my husband would never stop me if i wish to get haircut. so last month i also decided to cut my juda. i went for medium length haircut so that it is neither too short nor too long. like sharan i also asked the lady to cut my hair in gutt so that i can take it with me. after haircut i tied my hair in juda(very small) and went home with duppata on my head and at dinner table i took off my duppata and showed my back to my husband. he took just a second to realise what i wanted to show him. he asked me if i also got a haircut. i smiled back opened mu juda and showed him. he liked my small hair a lot. then ashneet brought my cut braid and put on the table. my husband just had a look at it and threw it in the bin.
now we mother-daughter really enjoy our freedom and often discuss about new styles and cuts. its been almost a year since ashneet is got her first haircut. her hair now looks perfect. it never appears if she ever had a gutt.
Gold

Jalandhar, India

#3299 Feb 4, 2013
Avneet kaur wrote:
hello everybody
my story goes somewhat similar to sharan and harsimran's wife. i too had long hair touching my hips. during college times i used to feel proud of my long gutt. after marriage i started doing juda. as my hair was long juda was also very heavy. it was going fine till my daughter came to 8th std. last year. my daughter ashneet was 13 yrs then and was learning swimming. daily her hair used to get wet even though head was covered during swimming. it was becoming difficult to daily get hair wash after swimming and then drying the same. so i discussed the matter with my husband, i was so happy to know he was so understanding to the situation and himself suggested to get ashneet a haircut. i still remember the day when i took her to the unisex salon in our area. i was her long hair for the final time and we went to the salon. i asked the dealing lady to cut her hair till shoulders. she looked so cute after the haircut. her hair started looking very shinny and soft. then straight away we went to the market to buy new accessories for her short hair.... we bought colorful rubber bands, smart hair bands & new brush to style her hair.
then it became a normal activity for us to go to salon once a month to get a trim for her hair. she was feeling so happy and relaxed that she got rid of her gutt. now she make a small pony to school and after swimming it takes hardly 10 mins to get her hair dry and at home she leaves her hair lose.
since i always go with her to salon, i also started having fascination for haircut. i was sure my husband would never stop me if i wish to get haircut. so last month i also decided to cut my juda. i went for medium length haircut so that it is neither too short nor too long. like sharan i also asked the lady to cut my hair in gutt so that i can take it with me. after haircut i tied my hair in juda(very small) and went home with duppata on my head and at dinner table i took off my duppata and showed my back to my husband. he took just a second to realise what i wanted to show him. he asked me if i also got a haircut. i smiled back opened mu juda and showed him. he liked my small hair a lot. then ashneet brought my cut braid and put on the table. my husband just had a look at it and threw it in the bin.
now we mother-daughter really enjoy our freedom and often discuss about new styles and cuts. its been almost a year since ashneet is got her first haircut. her hair now looks perfect. it never appears if she ever had a gutt.
@Avneet Kaur: Congrats that you have a real understanding husband! I appreciate the feelings that you shared with your husband and you are happy with your new look. We have to maintain tradition but as you took initiative for your daughter, she will remember it for life. How you helped her during her swimming times. And it is also helpful as she will be able to gel with her friends. I am sure she is doing well in her swimming lessons.
The initiate you have taken for yourself is nice. You have now a bond with your daughter and she has a friend for life. Best of Luck!

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