The Civilized Interracial Dating Deba...

The Civilized Interracial Dating Debate Thread

Posted in the Asian-American Forum

“Antichristian Soldier”

Since: Mar 12

Location hidden

#1 Apr 1, 2012
Disclaimer: I'm no expert on this, I'm just stating my observations. Please excuse any cynicism, I happened to be a very pessimistic person and being a cynical bastard is my only manner of coping.

So I've noticed lots of threads here, elsewhere as well as Youtube videos that downplay Asian/non-Asian couples, especially if the non-Asian is a male and the Asian a female. If at all possible, I'd like to keep this civil and not have things degenerate into a flame fest.

First, opponents of interracial dating seem to stereotype men who date interracially as:

+ Having a fetish
+ Having an ill-conceived perception of the women they desire (i.e. submissive, hypersexual)
+ Being incapable of attracting a more independent woman, particularly one of their own

All the while, females dating interracially are stereotyped as:

+ Self-loathing
+ Quick to downplay men of their own race
+ Desperately seeking to gain social acceptance
+ In some cases, a gold digger

It seems a lot of people blame the Western media for the Asian male's stereotyped sexual impotency and the Asian female's stereotyped hypersexuality and submissive nature.

As for me, I've never really been big into movies or television so I've never paid those stereotypes any mind. In fact, I'm sure Donnie Yen gets more action in a day that most non-Asian men do in a lifetime.

Anyhoo, as the only Asian females I've dated or had platonic friendships with were U.S. born, they weren't demure or submissive. Some of them were (unfortunately) self-loathing, and a couple of them were (unfortunately for me) gold diggers.

As for the interracial dating disparity between Asian American men/women, I kinda feel the pain for both sides. As I was diagnosed with Autism and have yet to receive any significant social acceptance (outside of family and work) and generally have a hard time making friends anywhere I go, I can see why some Asian American men are bitter by being abandoned by a large amount (~25-35%) of Asian American females, yet also see why some Asian American women are desperate to move up the (perceived) social ladder.

I'd say I'm not the stereotypical Asiaphile nerd, despite being socially handicapped. Even though I work in IT administration and have an IT degree, outside of work I tend to geek out by lifting weights and being a hard ass metalhead. I also collect medieval weapons and like to imagine myself as a Roman Centurion or something. Then again, I suppose most women don't find qualities like that desirable.:(

Also, unlike the stereotypical Asiaphile, I'm not promiscuous nor seeking sexual dominance. I've only had two sexual intercourse sessions in my entire sad life and honestly... I disliked it very much, despite the women being very physically attractive (at least 8s). Not that I'm gay or anything, I definitely like to look at nude women (I used to frequent gentlemen's clubs), all the while seeing another man's penis scares the shit out of me.

As for finding actual love, there was one mixed East Asian/Southeast Asian descended lady that I loved and still do to this day, despite being forced into the friendzone (by default as she is already married). Regardless of that, she had an explosive sense of humor and was wise beyond her years (and at least an 8.5, perhaps 9 on looks). Despite not having a shot in hell at romancing her, I enjoyed her company extremely much. Even though we no longer live in the same region of the U.S., I very much valued our friendship and I miss her so much that it's killing me inside.

Anyhow, this was one cracker's experience on the interracial dating thing, don't take it as fact. ;)

“phresh, bruh”

Since: Feb 12

Location hidden

#2 Apr 1, 2012
Wow man, you just put it on all the table. Maybe a little to much information for a site who has a tendency to judge other rather harshly. Individuals who are scared to get hurt over analyze every situation and become a pessimistic. Even if (s)he plays it cool. It's quite a normal reaction. I'm sure you're not the only individual. Plus the IR it analyzed with statics. There's always much more of a personal reason why someone dates another person. Even if it's shallow reasons.

Since: Mar 12

Location hidden

#3 Apr 1, 2012
I don't really get what this thread is about lol
And now I feel kind of...exposed ?

“phresh, bruh”

Since: Feb 12

Location hidden

#4 Apr 1, 2012
NaviTheAwesome wrote:
I don't really get what this thread is about lol
And now I feel kind of...exposed ?
Lol ^-^ oh goodness that made me laugh.

Since: Nov 11

Location hidden

#5 Apr 1, 2012
gorath caesar 666 wrote:
First, opponents of interracial dating seem to stereotype men who date interracially as:
+ Having a fetish
+ Having an ill-conceived perception of the women they desire (i.e. submissive, hypersexual)
+ Being incapable of attracting a more independent woman, particularly one of their own
All the while, females dating interracially are stereotyped as:
+ Self-loathing
+ Quick to downplay men of their own race
+ Desperately seeking to gain social acceptance
+ In some cases, a gold digger
Have you heard of "herd mentality" before?
Well, basically it's the same old archaic "us vs. them" ideology.
On one hand you have a "social" pyramid where thanks to media it is as follows:
1. White
2. Latin
3. Asian
4. Black
now, it's quite obvious that I'm generalizing but that's basically the gist of it. Lighter skin is perceived as more "desirable" to certain demographics. There is also the culture aspect as well, that's prolly why you are able to communicate better with the Overseas born ones.

Now to generalizations of IR dating (WM/AF & AM/WF)
The disparity you see amongst comments is usually because the poster of the negative comments is shall we say "jealous", they see something they want, and because they have an obstacle blocking them from attaining it, they will talk trash about it. It's quite common. It's called sour grapes.

People should learn to grow the f*ck up and stop obsessing over who is dating who...

“Antichristian Soldier”

Since: Mar 12

Location hidden

#6 Apr 2, 2012
I appreciate the informative responses.
TheJazuma wrote:
<quoted text>
Have you heard of "herd mentality" before?
Well, basically it's the same old archaic "us vs. them" ideology.
On one hand you have a "social" pyramid where thanks to media it is as follows:
1. White
2. Latin
3. Asian
4. Black
now, it's quite obvious that I'm generalizing but that's basically the gist of it. Lighter skin is perceived as more "desirable" to certain demographics.
Huh, that is interesting and atrocious all the same. I've never considered Black people, at least not the ones I've been acquainted with, to be of lesser status than myself. The ones I knew, like me, were at least as educated and hard working as I. They also didn't glorify the gangster culture, although I guess we can thank the media for that stereotype as well. Corporatists and Media Moguls should just die.

As for some seeing seeing lighter skin being more desirable, those people need to lay off the Kool-aid. Again, while this may not apply to all, don't people of ethnicities with darker tones tend to age more gracefully and be less hairy? I'd consider that more desirable than one's paleness any day. Or maybe I'm just self-loathing.:(

Perhaps I should have worded parts of my opening post differently, in particular the, erm, mating bit. Point being I don't (nor should anyone else) see one's partner as a tool to get off and I've been happily straight age for a fews years and don't plan on changing that anytime soon. Shame on Asiaphiles or other creeps who seek subservient women. I see sobriety (substance or otherwise) as something one should strive for, but that's me just me. Is that better?
TheJazuma

Sydney, Australia

#7 May 21, 2012
gorath caesar 666 wrote:
I appreciate the informative responses.
<quoted text>
As for some seeing seeing lighter skin being more desirable, those people need to lay off the Kool-aid. Again, while this may not apply to all, don't people of ethnicities with darker tones tend to age more gracefully and be less hairy?
Civilizations have always glorified "lightness". It's called "White Privilege", be happy that you were "lucky" to be born White and have the world at your feet.

AussiPino

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#8 May 21, 2012
TheJazuma wrote:
<quoted text>
Civilizations have always glorified "lightness". It's called "White Privilege", be happy that you were "lucky" to be born White and have the world at your feet.
Everywhere in the world this is true. India, China, Mexico, The Philippines, Ethiopia, even in Europe, the lighter a person is, the more they are favored by society around them. You look at the African media, you can see many newsreaders and movie actors tend to be lighter-skinned than the average African. In Mexico you can see blondes in movies. In China many actors tend to be lighter-skinned and the bad guys are usually darker-skinned, particularly in Hong Kong films.

You look at Italy. The lighter-skinned Italians are favored more than the olive-skinned Italians as northern Italy tends to be light-skinned where they are more affluent compared to the southern regions.
TheJazuma

Sydney, Australia

#9 May 22, 2012
-sam- wrote:
Wow man, you just put it on all the table. Maybe a little to much information for a site who has a tendency to judge other rather harshly. Individuals who are scared to get hurt over analyze every situation and become a pessimistic. Even if (s)he plays it cool. It's quite a normal reaction. I'm sure you're not the only individual. Plus the IR it analyzed with statics. There's always much more of a personal reason why someone dates another person. Even if it's shallow reasons.
was the virgin Mary really 14 when she married Joseph the old dude?

AussiPino

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#10 May 22, 2012
TheJazuma wrote:
<quoted text>
was the virgin Mary really 14 when she married Joseph the old dude?
During the period of Jesus, the word 'virgin' had a different meaning. Virgin meant an unattached woman and had nothing to do with sex.

People of today have got the misconception of the Virgin Mary. Joseph was p!ssed off with Mary because she obviously had sex with someone else to conceive Jesus.
sam

United States

#11 May 22, 2012
TheJazuma wrote:
<quoted text>
was the virgin Mary really 14 when she married Joseph the old dude?
Seriously, you put me on blast?

How does this relate to what I said?

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