9 of the Weirdest Poems You Will Ever...

9 of the Weirdest Poems You Will Ever Read

There are 18 comments on the www.shmoop.com story from Apr 7, 2010, titled 9 of the Weirdest Poems You Will Ever Read. In it, www.shmoop.com reports that:

While some may associate “weird” with “modern” when it comes to art, you might be surprised to see how many of these were written in the seventeen- and eighteen-hundreds, long before being weird was even cool. In chronological order, here nine of the top contenders.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at www.shmoop.com.

“Commentaries”

Since: Apr 08

Location hidden

#1 Apr 7, 2010
My friend read a poem once that was entitled: Grocery List. And, it was merely: a grocery list. Poetry can really be anything expressionistic.

“Fairyland”

Since: Dec 06

‘

#2 Apr 7, 2010
Stephany McDowell wrote:
My friend read a poem once that was entitled: Grocery List. And, it was merely: a grocery list. Poetry can really be anything expressionistic.
I agree completely ANYTHING!

I remember a guy here on Offbeat AGES ago, had grief
with his Dad, he wrote about it 'in full flight of anger'
as it were, it was so true, so real,
the words nearly jumped off the page..
Tho' I've forgotten the poem, I remember clearly his expression and emotion.
MARVELLOUS.

“Fairyland”

Since: Dec 06

‘

#3 Apr 12, 2010
This is unusual
and .. kind of along the same lines.. LOL

moi

Since: Dec 06

Arta, Russia

#4 Apr 12, 2010
My vote for #10

Author: Unknown

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
and ran to save the two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
ask the blind man, he saw it, too.

Since: Jan 07

Location Shown

#5 Jan 28, 2011
Do you ever think as a hearse goes by,

that you may be the next to die?

They wrap you up in a big white sheet

From your head down to your feet.

They put you in a big black box,

And cover you up with dirt and rocks.

All goes well for about a week,

Then your coffin begins to leak.

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,

The worms play pinochle on your snout.

They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,

They eat the jelly between your toes.

A big green worm with rolling eyes,

Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes.

Your stomach turns a slimy green,

And pus pours out like whipping cream.

You spread it on a slice of bread,

And that's what you eat when you are dead.

“Fairyland”

Since: Dec 06

‘

#6 Jan 28, 2011
Big Time wrote:
Do you ever think as a hearse goes by,
that you may be the next to die?
They wrap you up in a big white sheet
From your head down to your feet.
They put you in a big black box,
And cover you up with dirt and rocks.
All goes well for about a week,
Then your coffin begins to leak.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
The worms play pinochle on your snout.
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,
They eat the jelly between your toes.
A big green worm with rolling eyes,
Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes.
Your stomach turns a slimy green,
And pus pours out like whipping cream.
You spread it on a slice of bread,
And that's what you eat when you are dead.
OMG!!

Definitely cremation for me
after reading that!

Thanks for the forewarning!

lol

“Fairyland”

Since: Dec 06

‘

#7 Jan 28, 2011
The Auld Triangler
- Brendan Behan -



A hungry feeling, came o'er me stealing
And the mice they were squealing in my prison cell
And that auld triangle, went jingle jangle
All along the banks of the Royal Canal.

Oh to begin the morning, the screw was bawling
Get up ya bowsie, and clean out your cell
And the auld triangle, went jingle jangle
All along the banks of the Royal Canal

I wish to Jaysus, they'd raise me wages
from two pounds and fifty, to three pounds and ten
And the auld triangle, went jingle jangle
All along the banks of the Royal Canal

In the female prison there are seventy women
And I wish it was with them that I did dwell
And that auld triangle, went jingle jangle
All along the banks of the Royal Canal.

ABC123

Columbus, OH

#8 Feb 4, 2011
I wrote this is it good???

I am Lisa
I was age four
I didn’t go to preschool
Never open the doors

Mama and papa
They looked like a wreck
They screamed at me yelled at me
Grabbed at my neck

I didn’t have toys
I was always cold
I wished they would die
I wished they’d grow old

I soon came to third grade
I met my best friend
He had sweet blue eyes
And his name was Ben

He opened the doors
He kept me warm
He never stopped trying
To keep me from harm

Sometimes that blondie
Would pass me notes
He’d always keep telling me
Life’s like a boat

When we were in fourth grade
We got report cards
I had a D, and C
And very much more

When I told Ben
He looked in my eyes
Life’s like a boat
But it’s in disguise

In middle school I realized
My love Ben was right
Life’s like a boat
To my anchor I’ll hold tight

That night I got home
And daddy was drinkin’
All of a sudden
My boat started sinkin’

I called my friend Ben
And I started to cry
Then I cried and I cried
While Ben asked who and why

After I told him
he had a fit
I said not to tell
Or else I’d get hit

My daddy came in then
He’d heard me explaining
He turned off the phone
Then he just stopped thinking

He hit me real hard
Right in the nose
What did I do?
Well no one knows

Daddy then gave my stomach a blow
I then keeled over
And it started to snow

I prayed to the lord
Don’t let me die
Don’t turn the snow red
Because my insides

I went to the hospital
I was leaving the world
But I will always
Be Ben’s girl

I knew I was dying
It happened right there
That I whispered straight to him
His face in my hair

Life’s like a boat Ben
You never ask why
Ben you’re my anchor
But I’m going to die

No need to cry Ben
I’ll always be here
I’ll be the fossil
That soon will appear

I then slipped away
But I heard Ben crying
The last words I heard
Were so justifying

Lisa you know it
We know that you’re dying
But someday together
To heaven we’ll be flying

Life is the boat
Lisa it is to be
I am your anchor
In the storms of life’s sea
ABC123

Columbus, OH

#9 Feb 4, 2011
Btw I'm in middle school

Since: Jan 07

Location Shown

#10 Feb 4, 2011
How many hillbillies does it take eat a 'possum?
Two. One to eat, and one to watch for cars.

* Best bar pick-up line in Kentucky
"Hey, you sure don't sweat much for a fat woman."

* Did you hear about the hillbilly who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can't touch it till she's fourteen.

* What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a hillbilly?
The good ol' boy raises livestock. The hillbilly gets emotionally involved.

* What's the most popular pick up line in Kentucky
Nice tooth!

* How do you know when your staying in an Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink"and the person at the front desk says "go ahead."

* How can you tell if a hillbilly is married?
There are tobacco juice stains on both sides of his pickup truck

“My latest victim”

Since: Jul 10

Location hidden

#11 Feb 6, 2011
moi wrote:
My vote for #10
Author: Unknown
One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
and ran to save the two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
ask the blind man, he saw it, too.
This reminds me of Shel Silverstein.
Look up "Sick". I think that is the name of it.
:)
Anonymous

Brisbane, Australia

#12 Apr 4, 2012
My passion for translucent art

is as neutral as my unsure breath

and I’m overwhelmed and curious

and in an enchanting dread

of personal thought.

But my cosmic wonder

unearths the whimsical compassion

between a variety of

perceptions, it

illuminates my immense fear

of intrigue

and creative anticipation.

It’s a mystery.

I took it a little to far, maybe.

Overwhelmed is a color;

and it’s the shiny black exterior

of the mangled metal of a smoking

car wreck

fresh

for the vulnerable eyes of society to eat up.

Overwhelmed is a smell;

a meandering burnt tar

from the screeching tires

directed off the stable track of

transportation

by carelessness, stupidity.

Overwhelmed is a sound;

the fast Bach-like piano piece

of crashes and shrieks

and screeches and horns and alarms

and shouts on the inside

of the minds of bystanders.

Overwhelmed is the feeling of rigid metal,

the sharpened car door

thrashed by the teeth of another vehicle

yet smoothed by the cracked yellow

and gray concrete of its

new tomb. Or doom.

Overwhelmed is me, standing at the

foot of the cracked headlight,

an inch to the right

consuming this gruesome sight.

Since: Jan 07

Location Shown

#13 Apr 5, 2012
Early to bed and early to rise makes and man healthy, wealthy and wise

“Fairyland”

Since: Dec 06

‘

#14 Apr 5, 2012
'They f*ck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.
----------
[By Philip Larkin ]' All rights reserved '
Anonymous

Brisbane, Australia

#15 May 11, 2012
You're down and out, now why is it?
Is it because of the child within,
Or was your crime a mortal sin?

You looked so pitiful in a pitiless crowd
And your silent eyes cried out so loud.
It hurt my heart to see the way
The animals just passed you by.
When finally I stopped to think, I
Realised that so did I.
But why?

Was it because I did not trust
Your reasons for asking us?
Or am I just as heartless as
The others in this circus?
Anonymous

Brisbane, Australia

#16 May 11, 2012
I gotta pressure in my batty hole.
I gotta, gotta, gotta find a bowl,
To release this heat, this heat
That's burning its way to my feet.

Since: Jan 07

Location Shown

#17 Oct 29, 2012
Nothing will harm you
Nothing will stand in your way
Nothing, Nothing
Nothing will stop you
And nothing will stand in your way
No one will harm you
No one will stand in your way
No one will bar you
Nothing will stand in your way
Nothing
There's nothing
juliejo

San Francisco, CA

#18 Oct 29, 2012
must visit this
http://bit.ly/Rowlvt

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Poetry Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News Our Opinion: Good news aplenty last week in our... Jul 26 Properganda 3
News Watch Two Young Poets Blast Black Men Who 'Don'... Jul 24 Maceo 16
News One Poem That Saved a Forest Jul 22 satya srsinivas 1
News Sunil Gangopadhyay cremated (Oct '12) Jul 21 EMON 7
News Sisters from El Paso win top honors at Internat... Jul 4 I Hate The French 1
News Angelou had praise for local poet (Oct '13) Jul 3 khalex9 2
You Mean So Much To Me Jun 29 Stephany McDowell 1
More from around the web