Really Bad Poetry
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“Vince is da Man! ”

Since: Sep 07

Blue Note (wishfully)

#1 Sep 21, 2007
In the interest of keeping the status quo between good literature and bad literature, I'd like to request anyone with little or no talent for poetry to submit their work here. I ask for the worst poetry possible -poems that no publishing comapany in their right minds would publish.(Anyone with a green thumb for poetry is politely requested to stay OUT of this thread: If you submit a good poem, or a reasonable facsimile of good poetry, your post WILL be appropriately FLAGGED!) The purpose of this thread is simply this: So we could all have a good Laugh and tell you how silly you are, lol!
You may also post someone else's truely awful poem as long as there are no copywright infringements.
Having said thus above, I would like to submit my own original as as the first entry. You may duly laugh at it or flag it as you wish!

“Vince is da Man! ”

Since: Sep 07

Blue Note (wishfully)

#2 Sep 21, 2007
Splitting headache
Ouch! My head does surely hurt,
as it is hit by an idiot named Kurt.
Why is there so much violence here and abroad?
Human beings must be ego and greed de-clawed.
Too much lust, too much hate,
Why can't we just be content and wait?
Where has the Love gone? Is it really here?
At the rise of a violent new dawn, I shed a teer.
I have affinity for the Prez,
but as the the old song says,
"the 3 men I admire most:
the Father, Son and Holy Ghost,
made the last Train for the coast,
the day, the music died."

Do not anyone steal this. Believe it or not, this is copywrighted.

PS - future submissions - do not worry about spelling errors. It just adds to the overall tackiness of the poem, lol!

“"Eatin' Ain't Cheatin!"”

Since: Sep 06

Thompson's Station, Tn

#4 Sep 21, 2007
The sun was shining brightly

And I could hardly wait

To open my breakfast window

and gaze at God's estate.

The breeze was blowing gently

It brushed the flowers away

All nature was enchanting

Upon this lovely day.

My eye fell on a little bird

with a tender yellow bill

that was merrily chirping

upon my window sill.

I smiled at him cheerfully

Held forth a crust of bread

and quickly slammed the window

and smashed the bastard's head.

“Vince is da Man! ”

Since: Sep 07

Blue Note (wishfully)

#5 Sep 21, 2007
Deliverance Banjo Boy wrote:
I hope you don't mind. If you do, I'll get topix to kill my profile.
"here I sit so broken hearted,
Came to s#1T, but only farted".
the s#1Thouse poet
Sorry.
Thank you for that submission
of a flatulent brain emission.
I hope the dam breaks,
and you're soon to go.
Eat some prune cakes,
and things sould flow.
Stop in again sometime,
and give us another rhyme.
Far be it from me to quip about quality,
I extent to you my mispelled hawspitality.
Come again when you can stay so long,
And write a poem that is Oh(!) so wrong!

THANKS, DUDE! Don't want to strain your dueling brain cells. If that was a strain, just write something shorter, lol!

“Vince is da Man! ”

Since: Sep 07

Blue Note (wishfully)

#6 Sep 21, 2007
Mexican Hillbilly wrote:
The sun was shining brightly
And I could hardly wait
To open my breakfast window
and gaze at God's estate.
The breeze was blowing gently
It brushed the flowers away
All nature was enchanting
Upon this lovely day.
My eye fell on a little bird
with a tender yellow bill
that was merrily chirping
upon my window sill.
I smiled at him cheerfully
Held forth a crust of bread
and quickly slammed the window
and smashed the bastard's head.
For a minute I was going to FLAG this poem for being so good, but then I read the ending, LOL!

“Our Grand daughter”

Since: Sep 06

Location hidden

#8 Sep 21, 2007
I use to say a poema s a kid...

Birdie
Birdie
In the snow.
Cold and hungry
This I know.
So I lured him with some bread
Then I smushed his little ole head...

MH and I seem to think alike!! lol Man, this is sick..told you I can't write poetry!!

“Vince is da Man! ”

Since: Sep 07

Blue Note (wishfully)

#9 Sep 21, 2007
Deliverance Banjo Boy wrote:
<quoted text>
LMAO YOU are way too funny to have your own thread. Bless you, for your witted retort. I'll have to pick you a tune first, before I attempt poetry again!
Well, it's not really my own thread.
It doesn't earn anyone no bread.
Just know a lot of creative people under stress,
Hope they'll respond to this while or while not under duress.
Sometimes you have to create and just be you,
It helps vent that ole' hindered brain stew.

About the tune: Kewl! Just don't stand behind me when you play, I've seen bits and pieces of Deliverance, LOL!

“Vince is da Man! ”

Since: Sep 07

Blue Note (wishfully)

#10 Sep 21, 2007
Mommy of four wrote:
I use to say a poema s a kid...
Birdie
Birdie
In the snow.
Cold and hungry
This I know.
So I lured him with some bread
Then I smushed his little ole head...
MH and I seem to think alike!! lol Man, this is sick..told you I can't write poetry!!
NO,no,no Mommy! This is fine!
Sit down and have a little wine!
Perfection is not what we seek,
but stinky poems that aren't so sleek!
This will do just horrendously fine!
-A condensed version of the Mexican Texican's rhyme!
Thank you, Ms. Renaissance!:o)

“Vince is da Man! ”

Since: Sep 07

Blue Note (wishfully)

#11 Sep 21, 2007
Mommy of four wrote:
I use to say a poema s a kid...
Birdie
Birdie
In the snow.
Cold and hungry
This I know.
So I lured him with some bread
Then I smushed his little ole head...
MH and I seem to think alike!! lol Man, this is sick..told you I can't write poetry!!
You are to be commended for your variation! Mexican Texican used "SMASHED the bastards head"
in the last line. You used "SMUSHED his little ole head" in the last line. A subtle variation of an almost good decent little poem!
REMEMBER: Creativity is GOOD! Too much QUALITY and FORM doesn't become us! LOL! Thanks again, Deliverance, Mex and Mommy!:o)
Anyone else care to make an emission....er, submission?

“Vince is da Man! ”

Since: Sep 07

Blue Note (wishfully)

#12 Sep 21, 2007
Here's my last submission for the day, and then I must be going. Off to sleep with me, before my nose starts glowing (I work for Santa in my spare times, but also like to make stinky little rhymes)
...Enjoy (Are you KIDDING me???):_____

There was a man named Jed,
who was a government Fed.
He lived in a rundown shed,
and loved to shoot people dead.
One day he fell and bumped his head,
his face covered in blood so red.
He took out his magnum 45 with dread,
and shot himself in the head.
Now Jed is dead,
and he has no head.

“Vince is da Man! ”

Since: Sep 07

Blue Note (wishfully)

#14 Sep 22, 2007
Zippy the Pinhead wrote:
Here I sit with morning hair
Sitting in my underwear
Clinging to my puter chair
rip one left, rip one right.
PapaNicholas gonna make this right.
Makin toast, loggin on.
Pay some bills, Then I'm gone.
Another reason why I yawn.
I'd like to call in sick today.
Go down to the beach n' play all day
Real thoughts come floodin in
survival mode begin again
maybe someday you'll see I'll win
focus on the drive ahead
watch it pal, the light is red
I wish that I had gotten smart
I wish that I had read the chart
I wish that I had felt my heart
I saw it RIGHT, then blew the light
I ran my car in to the night
to taste it now, it seems somehow
the clearer night since then, than now
a stronger man was there, not now
a younger man appears to me
an older man appears to flee
WHAT the hell am I saying here?
Can I delete this, can I CLEAR?
What made me react with FEAR?
I got too close, I touched a nerve
I ran my car upside a curve
I'll wait till morn, then I'll let it lie
maybe then, I'll forget to cry
I'm just a grownup "Catcher in the Rye"
What was that? was that ME again?
No, It was the car hitting the tree again
Oh my! this is soo bad, yet soo very good! I can see why you are anonymous with the 'Zippy the Pinhead' name (I like that too): You don't want people to know you're "Clinging to my puter chair
rip one left, rip one right." THANK YOU for this submission! It is soo good, yet stinky!:o)

“Our Grand daughter”

Since: Sep 06

Location hidden

#15 Sep 22, 2007
Who are all these people?
I haven't seen some in years.
Why am I laying in this satin bed
and those I love are standing over me crying?

There are flowers everywhere!
Why are those flowers on my bed?
What has happened here,
What is going on?

I remember the pain
The crushing pain
I remember the dark
It got so very quiet.

My kids were crying and screaming
My husband screamed at me "WHY".
Lord, are you taking me home
To the golden clouds and beautiful sky?

I wasn't done with this life,
always dreamed of grand babies and vacations.
Nothing is going to happen how
All the people can do is stand there and stare..

I see mama and daddy, and grandma, too.
Hey, there's Lamar, from my Junior year of school, he's been gone since 1972.
And the doctor that made sure I was well during my childhood, is also floating over there.

I'm not afraid, I'm not scared, just a little sad
because my family will miss me so.
My sisters and brother seem to be angry with me because I would never do as I was told.
If I had then I feel I wouldn't be here in the bed of satan and so cold.

So many people, so many dear friends, so many familiar faces that passed over many years ago.
God is taking me Home and I have to leave my old life.
If only I had listened to the ones that loved me so, they wouldn't have to let me go.

When I get to heaven, it's the most amazing sight anyone could ever imagine. There's birds and deer and little babies running everywhere.
There's beautiful songs and the music is so calming. Not a fear, no sorrow, no rain, no aches, no pain.

I made the right decision to come her today,
Though I will miss everyone so much
Life ended on earth for me,
But I have come Home where I belong..

There's a tree over there where I can sit and wait for my loved ones to come to me when their time is up on earth.
I can even see my sons and daughter, going through my stuff.
I told them they could have that, and those and all that. Why are they boxing my angels? They were all for my friends.

My husband is on the sofa, crying his heart out. Why did my baby leave me? Why did she have to go? His heart is heavy, his soul and spririt is broken. He doesn't understand, my time was up.

Time will heal the broken hearts and my family will begin to live again. Just let me rest in peace, until we meet again..

“Our Grand daughter”

Since: Sep 06

Location hidden

#17 Sep 22, 2007
Toofless wrote:
<quoted text>
This was haunting. Looks like you've imagined you own mortality. I guess we all do.
Where have you been? Missed you at Nelly's..I can't leave this world because everyone will miss me..lol! I came to death almost 6 years ago, went into heart failure at 47 years of age and it scared me to death..don't want to go anywhere near there again, ever...my youngest was 8 at the time and his emotional state made me realize just how bad someone's death is on others...

“Our Grand daughter”

Since: Sep 06

Location hidden

#19 Sep 22, 2007
Thank you for your kind words about my quick poem. Just jotted it down here in a matter of minutes this morning.
I realized when my mother was in her death bed just how sad it is to leave the ones we love. She left behind 8 grandchildren and a passle of great-grandkids when she died. We are selfish and don't want our loved ones to leave us but I am opposite, I don't want to leave my loved ones...
And as far as Offbeat goes, there is always someone out there pretending to be someone else. Just laugh at them, that's all we can do. Someone pretends to be me once in a while but always look at the ISP, it never lies..it will always know who you are.

“Vince is da Man! ”

Since: Sep 07

Blue Note (wishfully)

#20 Sep 22, 2007
Toofless wrote:
<quoted text>
You're about my age. I'm 52. Sometimes life gets so hard that, momentarily, I've pictured taking the easy way out. NOT that I would actually do something like that, but the mind wants to to find a fast solution to something with no quick answers. But I'm an FO2 as you are an MO4. As I snap back to reality of these two girls, I picture how lost they'd be without me, even though I am divorced. They are the only people in the world that laugh at my jokes. LOL
Now that I know what is behind your poem, what are you doing on a thread called "bad poetry"? I don't think your's qualifies as "bad." Thank you for that. I hate the word "sharing", So thank you for the "S" word.
The toof.
p.s. someone mistakenly thought I was playing around or whatever, multiple profile violation, or something, but I was just embarrassed, none the less, to visit over there. It was all a misunderstanding, but I lost the spark to go back. I'm sensitive, I guess.
Also, i found you never know who's toes you step on in different forums even though it's not intentional. So many different people from different mindsets, expectations and even cultures. AUUUUGH! so confusing. And Toof, I will always laugh at your jokes...you are just TOOf Funny sometimes!!! And then you have a deep side.
Good combination!

“Vince is da Man! ”

Since: Sep 07

Blue Note (wishfully)

#21 Sep 22, 2007
Mommy of four wrote:
Thank you for your kind words about my quick poem. Just jotted it down here in a matter of minutes this morning.
I realized when my mother was in her death bed just how sad it is to leave the ones we love. She left behind 8 grandchildren and a passle of great-grandkids when she died. We are selfish and don't want our loved ones to leave us but I am opposite, I don't want to leave my loved ones...
And as far as Offbeat goes, there is always someone out there pretending to be someone else. Just laugh at them, that's all we can do. Someone pretends to be me once in a while but always look at the ISP, it never lies..it will always know who you are.
I noticed sometimes the ISP doesn't show up. If you put in your location as -let's say "Detroit Michigan" the ISP won't show up maybe only as being in USA. There's something automatic in there that covers you if you kist your city as different than what it actually is. I'm not quite explaining that right, but I'm in a rush to work and I just woke up. But check it out: Put a different city location from where you actually live, and in my experience the ISP disappears or
turns into a general "USA" country location.

“Vince is da Man! ”

Since: Sep 07

Blue Note (wishfully)

#22 Sep 22, 2007
Mommy of four wrote:
Who are all these people?
I haven't seen some in years.
Why am I laying in this satin bed
and those I love are standing over me crying?
There are flowers everywhere!
Why are those flowers on my bed?
What has happened here,
What is going on?
I remember the pain
The crushing pain
I remember the dark
It got so very quiet.
My kids were crying and screaming
My husband screamed at me "WHY".
Lord, are you taking me home
To the golden clouds and beautiful sky?
I wasn't done with this life,
always dreamed of grand babies and vacations.
Nothing is going to happen how
All the people can do is stand there and stare..
I see mama and daddy, and grandma, too.
Hey, there's Lamar, from my Junior year of school, he's been gone since 1972.
And the doctor that made sure I was well during my childhood, is also floating over there.
I'm not afraid, I'm not scared, just a little sad
because my family will miss me so.
My sisters and brother seem to be angry with me because I would never do as I was told.
If I had then I feel I wouldn't be here in the bed of satan and so cold.
So many people, so many dear friends, so many familiar faces that passed over many years ago.
God is taking me Home and I have to leave my old life.
If only I had listened to the ones that loved me so, they wouldn't have to let me go.
When I get to heaven, it's the most amazing sight anyone could ever imagine. There's birds and deer and little babies running everywhere.
There's beautiful songs and the music is so calming. Not a fear, no sorrow, no rain, no aches, no pain.
I made the right decision to come her today,
Though I will miss everyone so much
Life ended on earth for me,
But I have come Home where I belong..
There's a tree over there where I can sit and wait for my loved ones to come to me when their time is up on earth.
I can even see my sons and daughter, going through my stuff.
I told them they could have that, and those and all that. Why are they boxing my angels? They were all for my friends.
My husband is on the sofa, crying his heart out. Why did my baby leave me? Why did she have to go? His heart is heavy, his soul and spririt is broken. He doesn't understand, my time was up.
Time will heal the broken hearts and my family will begin to live again. Just let me rest in peace, until we meet again..
I agree with Toof - haunting, very good,....I should flag this because it's so GOOD, but can't because it's so profound and honest. It's so funny how we really don't know people and what they've lived til you get to know them. Mommy's got a lot of depth and life wisdom. I'm glad I know you.:o]
But don't you EVER say you don't have talent for poetry! If you thought this off the top of your head, then it's what flowed out of your heart naturally. No way am I flagging this! Just let's not everybody else start a trend here of GOOD poetry, okay? lol! HEY! Maybe we should start a thread for GOOD poetry!

Also, I want to tell you that I'm NOT in the habit of trolling. When I change profiles it's usually because of an idea I have for a profile,
just to be comical or REAAALLYYY STEWPID. Other times to make an attempted dramatic pointI don't try to mess someone up with it. BUT sometimes I have a wierd sense of humor, but it's not meant to hurt anyone. It must be a tri-state rude learned thing, but with me it's not from the heart. We learn to have an attitude here even before we start teething.
Well, I won't troll you guys...and I will not troll you Mommy. I may troll TOOF lightly, but that's only because I know (hope) he won't get hurt, and won't troll me back too hard (I hope).

“Vince is da Man! ”

Since: Sep 07

Blue Note (wishfully)

#23 Sep 22, 2007
Toofless wrote:
<quoted text>
This was haunting. Looks like you've imagined you own mortality. I guess we all do.
Mine's kind of tacky, but I'm working on it lol!
Who'd miss me? I haven't figured that out yet.

“Our Grand daughter”

Since: Sep 06

Location hidden

#24 Sep 22, 2007
ALL THAT JAZZ wrote:
<quoted text>
I noticed sometimes the ISP doesn't show up. If you put in your location as -let's say "Detroit Michigan" the ISP won't show up maybe only as being in USA. There's something automatic in there that covers you if you kist your city as different than what it actually is. I'm not quite explaining that right, but I'm in a rush to work and I just woke up. But check it out: Put a different city location from where you actually live, and in my experience the ISP disappears or
turns into a general "USA" country location.
I honestly don't know how to change my ISP or anything. All I do is click onto Topix bookmark and I'm ready to go. I'm me and nobody else. Did troll some in my earlier times here on Topix and had a ball. I was a bitch of sorts!! But it was so much fun!!!!!!!!!!

“Vince is da Man! ”

Since: Sep 07

Blue Note (wishfully)

#25 Sep 22, 2007
Mommy of four wrote:
<quoted text>I honestly don't know how to change my ISP or anything. All I do is click onto Topix bookmark and I'm ready to go. I'm me and nobody else. Did troll some in my earlier times here on Topix and had a ball. I was a bitch of sorts!! But it was so much fun!!!!!!!!!!
LOLOLOL!!! Okay, I admit it. I did troll someone in the beginning, but under a generic name, no profile. Usually I was just being goofy, or actually serious though goofy (it's just me).
But ONE response to someone didn't come out right, I left out a word, and they SEEMED to take a joke I made SOOO seriously, LOL! I didn't really mean it.

The ISP thing seems to happen automatically I noticed. Once I put a location from my home computer that a car on my avatar was from, but not me. The ISP dissappeared! Go figure...???

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