i wrote this poem for my boyfriend. what do u think? is it any good?

[Shantisa]

Judged:

1

1

1

who knew i'd fall in love again
i never thought i'd see this day
i guess my heart has learned to forgive
and the thoughts of 'him' are fading away
you dont know how you make me feel
every word you say brings a smile to my heart
your my everything and i love you so much
i hope that we never fall apart
I wish i could be there with you
i wanna make you happy
i'll do whatever it takes
to make us better than any love story
god you drive me crazy
waiting for you to get online
but it doesnt matter
cuz im so lucky that your mine
i dont care how far away you are
that doesnt stop me from wanting to kiss you
i wanna hear you laugh again
our love is a spell that no one can undo
your amazing and i feel you should know it
your forever in my dreams
i love you so much but have no idea how to show it
getting you out of mind is harder than it seems
do you even feel the same way?
no ones ever really loved me
i hope you dont think im strange
but god you make me so happy
you make my life so much better
and becuz of you i dont wanna die
god i hope you love me too
everytime i think of you i start to cry
i just hate going through so much pain
please dont hurt me
i dont think i could go through it agian
without you i feel so unhappy
i just want you to know
that i love you with all of my heart
and i want you to trust me like i trust you
and maybe someday our love will be like art

I LOVE YOU NATHAN!!! <333333333333

[Tom Zart]

You are a poet of great passion good job of composing.
Tom Zart
Most Published Poet
On The Web
PASSION
Passion is any strong feeling or thought
Of love, hate, fear, anger and grief.
The emotional joy of sexual desire
Sometimes the suffering of saint or thief.
The cruelty of man nailing Christ to the cross
His treatment subsequent to the last supper.
Continuing conflict with endless war,
Make it seem we’re prone to suffer.
All must carry their own cross in life,
While they struggle to survive the day.
Passion reveals how much we desire,
As we race toward our outcome and pray.
TOM ZART’S 300 POEMS
You can hear all of Tom Zart’s 300 poems of love, war, faith and more 24-7 on web radio at=
http://internetvoicesradio.com/Arch-TomZart.h...
Tom Zart ARCHIVES:
FREE TO DOWNLOAD

[Shantisa]

Tom Zart wrote:

You are a poet of great passion good job of composing.
Tom Zart
Most Published Poet
On The Web
PASSION
Passion is any strong feeling or thought
Of love, hate, fear, anger and grief.
The emotional joy of sexual desire
Sometimes the suffering of saint or thief.
The cruelty of man nailing Christ to the cross
His treatment subsequent to the last supper.
Continuing conflict with endless war,
Make it seem we’re prone to suffer.
All must carry their own cross in life,
While they struggle to survive the day.
Passion reveals how much we desire,
As we race toward our outcome and pray.
TOM ZART’S 300 POEMS
You can hear all of Tom Zart’s 300 poems of love, war, faith and more 24-7 on web radio at=
http://internetvoicesradio.com/Arch-TomZart.h...
Tom Zart ARCHIVES:
FREE TO DOWNLOAD

i also wrote this :
Her life is pointless
full of pain and agony
this knife is hurtful
oh so bloody
you could never imagine
all the tears she's cried
life feels like a rollercoaster
and its forced her along for the ride
she's becoming weak
as she cuts into her vein
she lets it bleed
and absorbs all the pain
this is how her life is
each day is the same
her tears they come and go
but the scars are to remain

[lakin howard]

lord you are really good

[Shantisa]

lakin howard wrote:

lord you are really good

thx :)

[ERIKA]

I LOVE YOUR POEM I WRITTE POEMS 2 IS SO STRANGE 2 FIND SOME ONE THAT WRITTES SIMMILAR TO ME AM SO IN LOVE WITH THAT POEM IS BEUTIFULL GOD BLESS UR TALENT

[Tony]

Shantisa wrote:

who knew i'd fall in love again
i never thought i'd see this day
i guess my heart has learned to forgive
and the thoughts of 'him' are fading away
you dont know how you make me feel
every word you say brings a smile to my heart
your my everything and i love you so much
i hope that we never fall apart
I wish i could be there with you
i wanna make you happy
i'll do whatever it takes
to make us better than any love story
god you drive me crazy
waiting for you to get online
but it doesnt matter
cuz im so lucky that your mine
i dont care how far away you are
that doesnt stop me from wanting to kiss you
i wanna hear you laugh again
our love is a spell that no one can undo
your amazing and i feel you should know it
your forever in my dreams
i love you so much but have no idea how to show it
getting you out of mind is harder than it seems
do you even feel the same way?
no ones ever really loved me
i hope you dont think im strange
but god you make me so happy
you make my life so much better
and becuz of you i dont wanna die
god i hope you love me too
everytime i think of you i start to cry
i just hate going through so much pain
please dont hurt me
i dont think i could go through it agian
without you i feel so unhappy
i just want you to know
that i love you with all of my heart
and i want you to trust me like i trust you
and maybe someday our love will be like art
I LOVE YOU NATHAN!!! <333333333333

Very good poem

[jessy]

good job u go u good thing that was awesome as i feel the same way to keep going u good thing :)

[Shantisa]

you wanna hear more?

here:

With this paper and this pen
I'll write down how i feel
you'll be the only ones that know
that my smiles are never real

i don't write suicide notes
cause there all stored in my head
if someone doesn't do something soon
you'll all wake up and find me dead

this knife is the only thing
that makes me feel alive
but when i put it down
i feel so dead inside

Pain doesn't hurt
if it's all you've ever felt
they think I'm doing fine
but I'm about to kill myself

[ryan]

I think you need help if your writing stuff like this.

[ALL THAT JAZZ]

Shantisa wrote:

who knew i'd fall in love again
i never thought i'd see this day
i guess my heart has learned to forgive
and the thoughts of 'him' are fading away
you dont know how you make me feel
every word you say brings a smile to my heart
your my everything and i love you so much
i hope that we never fall apart
I wish i could be there with you
i wanna make you happy
i'll do whatever it takes
to make us better than any love story
god you drive me crazy
waiting for you to get online
but it doesnt matter
cuz im so lucky that your mine
i dont care how far away you are
that doesnt stop me from wanting to kiss you
i wanna hear you laugh again
our love is a spell that no one can undo
your amazing and i feel you should know it
your forever in my dreams
i love you so much but have no idea how to show it
getting you out of mind is harder than it seems
do you even feel the same way?
no ones ever really loved me
i hope you dont think im strange
but god you make me so happy
you make my life so much better
and becuz of you i dont wanna die
god i hope you love me too
everytime i think of you i start to cry
i just hate going through so much pain
please dont hurt me
i dont think i could go through it agian
without you i feel so unhappy
i just want you to know
that i love you with all of my heart
and i want you to trust me like i trust you
and maybe someday our love will be like art
I LOVE YOU NATHAN!!! <333333333333

WOW! If you and NAthan ever break up and you are my age, call 555 (just kidding! I wish you and Nathan the best :o)

[ALL THAT JAZZ]

Shantisa wrote:

<quoted text>
i also wrote this :
Her life is pointless
full of pain and agony
this knife is hurtful
oh so bloody
you could never imagine
all the tears she's cried
life feels like a rollercoaster
and its forced her along for the ride
she's becoming weak
as she cuts into her vein
she lets it bleed
and absorbs all the pain
this is how her life is
each day is the same
her tears they come and go
but the scars are to remain

__________
Hey kiddo, this is NOT an insult to you, but please look for guidance okay? You seem like a sweet kid.
Let me try and cheer you up a little...
__________
(A not too good poem from me, but I try, lol!)

I love jazz and Bassist Ray Brown,
For his trio and more I'd walk a mile,
So let me try and take your frown,
and replace it with a big ole' smile.
I'm not the greatest poet on earth,
But I will try to give you a little mirth.
Sit down sweety and hear a poem of grace,
You don't have to leave the human race.
Don't you dare say goodbye,
Nor say that you will die,
I know you have a big ole sigh,
But get up on those angel wings and fly.
Sadness can be hard that's true,
But keep going, and fight the rue.
You shall be in my prayers my friend,
and to your heart my love I send.
__________

I posted this poem for someone else too, but I think you can use a little cheering, okay?
You look fairly young in your avatar, I am not young so don't break up with Nathan, lol!
Enjoy life, coscientiously try to think happy thoughts. Flowers, green grass, beautiful POSITIVE poetry, summer breeze...so much to be happy about kiddo, okay?:o)

[ALL THAT JAZZ]

Tom Zart wrote:

You are a poet of great passion good job of composing.
Tom Zart
Most Published Poet
On The Web
PASSION
Passion is any strong feeling or thought
Of love, hate, fear, anger and grief.
The emotional joy of sexual desire
Sometimes the suffering of saint or thief.
The cruelty of man nailing Christ to the cross
His treatment subsequent to the last supper.
Continuing conflict with endless war,
Make it seem we’re prone to suffer.
All must carry their own cross in life,
While they struggle to survive the day.
Passion reveals how much we desire,
As we race toward our outcome and pray.
TOM ZART’S 300 POEMS
You can hear all of Tom Zart’s 300 poems of love, war, faith and more 24-7 on web radio at=
http://internetvoicesradio.com/Arch-TomZart.h...
Tom Zart ARCHIVES:
FREE TO DOWNLOAD

Oh my, and How good this is! I'm not your caliber poet, but I can recognize good poetry when I see it. I will definitely check out your link, thank you!

[Shantisa]

ryan wrote:

I think you need help if your writing stuff like this.

im already getting help
but i dont need it

[Shantisa]

ALL THAT JAZZ wrote:

<quoted text>
WOW! If you and NAthan ever break up and you are my age, call 555 (just kidding! I wish you and Nathan the best :o)

lol
we already did break up
cuz hes moving to japan :(

[Shantisa]

ALL THAT JAZZ wrote:

<quoted text>
__________
Hey kiddo, this is NOT an insult to you, but please look for guidance okay? You seem like a sweet kid.
Let me try and cheer you up a little...
__________
(A not too good poem from me, but I try, lol!)
I love jazz and Bassist Ray Brown,
For his trio and more I'd walk a mile,
So let me try and take your frown,
and replace it with a big ole' smile.
I'm not the greatest poet on earth,
But I will try to give you a little mirth.
Sit down sweety and hear a poem of grace,
You don't have to leave the human race.
Don't you dare say goodbye,
Nor say that you will die,
I know you have a big ole sigh,
But get up on those angel wings and fly.
Sadness can be hard that's true,
But keep going, and fight the rue.
You shall be in my prayers my friend,
and to your heart my love I send.
__________
I posted this poem for someone else too, but I think you can use a little cheering, okay?
You look fairly young in your avatar, I am not young so don't break up with Nathan, lol!
Enjoy life, coscientiously try to think happy thoughts. Flowers, green grass, beautiful POSITIVE poetry, summer breeze...so much to be happy about kiddo, okay?:o)

why thankyou :)

[ALL THAT JAZZ]

Shantisa wrote:

<quoted text>
why thankyou :)

Well, I'm glad you are getting help. I, and I could tell others also, we're REALLY concerned. You are young, there will be others...maybe possibly Nathan will return! You never know!
You definitely have a beautiful talent for poetry
(Even though the last few were incredibly morbid, they were well done). Can you do a poem...hmmm....
lets's say, about another subject? How about a favorite pet? You're favorite holiday? Do you have a car?-(LOL! I know that's a wierd subject for a poem. I still haven't found a word that rhymes with carburator.)
I have a poem site you may be interested in.
It's right here on Topics. I'll be right back.
I'll cut and paste it for you!

[ALL THAT JAZZ]

Darn! She took her poems off her forum. This Lady named Grace Nerissa had some original poems on her own forum. They're not listed now and I don't know where to find them.

I'll be back. I go to work, but will try to write you a funny poem about my car in a couple of days.
And remember: You are not crazy or anything for getting help. These last few poems you wrote
really showed you do need Help. Did your parents read your poems?
Hang tough, kiddo. You will feel better and things will work out.:o)

[babygirl]

i think that she or he is really good i also write good poetry so inthe future look for me in a book

[ALL THAT JAZZ]

Good morning, Shantisa!

I brought you a link that you may get a kick out of, lol! We're being goofballs on the thread.
Feel free to join in! Only rule is it's got to be a really BAD poem, not filthy but ...well, you'll get the idea when you see it.:o) Anyone else want to join in, please feel free!

http://www.topix.net/forum/arts/poetry/TTQ7BQ...