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Since: Feb 09

Johannesburg, South Africa

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#1
Feb 23, 2009
 
I do not know if I am at the right forum for the following quetsion but here goes. I hope there are some useful opinions for my "problem"?

I have been married for 7 years now and am very happy. My husband came to me and said he wants to do ballet, and apparently he's always wanted to. I have to admit that he's always taken me to ballet although I never asked him to, and I just thought he liked watching ballet! My problem is not that he wants to do ballet (although he is 32 years old now!), because I would support him in anything he wants to do. He says that he has always wanted to do it and I must say the few times I went watching him do a class, he was realy impressive. He seems to have a natural nack for it and his ballet teacher also says so. He also says he does not have dreams of becoming a professional dancer, but he truly enjoys the classes and says that even if he came nowhere he would still want to do it. Now for my problem!

My problem is the "bulge" in the tights. He is "VERY" well endowed. After seeing many male ballet dancers in my time going to ballets with him, he is nearly double their size and very visible from all angles. It can not be missed. As he has been a rugby player since I've known him, he has always been in excellent shape and has a truly amazing athletic physique (all my grilfriends say so). The thing is that in rugby and normal life "that" part of a man is not all that visible! The ballet tights on the other hand pronounce "everything" and leaves "nothing" to be guessed about. When I look at him dance I can not tear my eyes from "it" and wonder what my grilfriends would say if they saw him like this! Some of the women already commented on it at the class to me and I am afraid of comments coming from close friends and family! What do women in general think of more than average well-endowed male ballet dancers? Is it seen as a virtue in the world of ballet, or is it just one of those things that cannot be prevented?

I do not want to be embarressed for his sake since I love him to death. Is this a problem, or am I making too much of something small (no pun intended)?

If this post is completely out of place on this website I am sorry but I need your opinions

What is your opinions?
Dibee

Tarzana, CA

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#2
Feb 24, 2009
 
I understand that if you're not used to looking at that, it is distracting. Dancers don't notice as much. Is he wearing a real men's dance belt, the kind that really holds everything tight? If so, nothing more he can do. If not, if he's wearing a sports strap or something else, get him to a dance store and get him the real thing. Does he wear white tights? Black would hide it more. Don't be embarrassed about this. When I go to the ballet with friends I hear comments about the men in tights thing. I never notice it because I grew up in ballet class and I don't see it.

Since: Feb 09

Johannesburg, South Africa

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#3
Feb 25, 2009
 
Hi Dibee,

he is wearing a proper dancebelt bought from a dance store. He even had to get a larger size for not getting it all in properly. It is not that I do not like the look of the bulge on my husband, and silently I am quite proud, it is just that I do not want to discuss "it" with friends and family and when looking at him in tights it surely is going to open up the discussion.

Do women appreciate this "big" look on a man or would it be ridiculed in your experience?

thx for your time.

Since: Feb 08

Jamestown, RI

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#4
Feb 26, 2009
 
yes, dibee, always, the men-in-tights thing. lol, when we perform our nutcracker at a local school, the little kids... they're like third grade... first question (in the q & a session afterwards) is ALWAYS along the lines of why do they wear tights?

i suppose all you can do then is to try to draw the attention and the conversation from this topic.

dibee's right, dancers don't really notice it. just appreciate your husband for who he is, focus on his dancing and nothing else. ignore your friends if you must, or say "does it really matter?"

but if you're proud of him, then it really doesn't matter, does it?
AHusband

South Africa

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#5
May 13, 2009
 
I too am a late starter in ballet, also a husband and also a father. I can confirm that my wife is also not too fond of the tights' inability to hide the "bulge", so don't feel alone aWife! However, her reason may be slightly different: her not wanting to "share" what is hers with the female dancers in class, whereas you seem embarrassed on your husband's behalf.

I can confirm that attending class takes commitment from everybody, so chances are very good that everybody attending is concentrating very hard on what they are doing dancing wise and do not have time to hang around noticing "bulges"! Everybody in class simply accepts that tights are part of the "uniform", so nobody really notices what you are wearing or having difficulty to contain!

Also, I agree with the other poster that black tights to tend to hide more, same as black clothes make you look thinner, whereas white/grey tights do the worst job of "hiding" stuff.

So in summary, I do think that you are making something "big" of something not small and is most likely the only person concerned about it!(But that is just my opinion and I am most likely biased in a "big" way!)

Keep on supporting your husband in doing ballet! It is difficult enough in SA to make the leap into ballet if you are male! Fellow dancers understand the feeling of freedom and joy ballet gives, pity so few men get to experience it.
Balletbrit

United States

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#6
Aug 11, 2009
 
I have been doing ballet for quite a few years now. Why don't you practice ballet with him? I can tell you I wish my girlfriend would take class with me! Maybe you and your husband could learn to do a pas de deux together. I think that would be pretty neat for my girlfriend and I to do that, but unfortunatelty she would rather be LOOKING at ballet costumes whereas I'd rather be IN them!!!
TheLeggMann

Hialeah, FL

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#7
Jun 6, 2010
 
I am a dancer and my girlfriend say there is nothing wrong with seen a bulge ,its apart of the dance ...Its not like you wearing it to a disco anyway.. watch your hubby dance and be happy,..bring your family too and you g/fs ...
I like to be in the mids where i am the center of attraction where i can get more aroused... when i know i am watched by women....i like it anyway...
Rosa

Jamestown, TN

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#8
Dec 12, 2010
 
Otherwise he's hung. if men didn't dance because of their size,small or big,there would be less male dancers. we need them all to support the ballet.try a non padded belt.even though his penis will show more,if he can adjust it to stick up the bulge won't be as big.does he have big balls also?

keep to darker colors like mentioned and be proud of his dancing just like your proud of his bulge.

we went thru this with our son who is quite big.his dance instructor made him wear white for a reherrsal and he really showed off.after awhile everybody put their attention to the show.his father is a runner[wears tights] and like father,like son shows off the big bulge.

our bodies are art,just relax and enjoy the bulge,i mean show.I carry around dd's so were a family that shows off as there's no place to hide.
aWife

Johannesburg, South Africa

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#9
Feb 1, 2011
 
Rosa, at last a woman in the same situation as I.

To answer your question. Yes, he has big balls too, and it shows. After reading your post I took him too buy an unpadded dance-belt. As I said in my previous post, the questions about whether he is wearing a dancebelt or not is irrelevant. When he is in class or stage, he shows VERY obviously BIGGER than the rest of the male dancers. He has tried placing it different ways and positions to "hide" it but it just shows. After reading your post, I bought him an unpadded dancebelt. It REALLY shows his detail now although the bulkiness is reduced a little. The bulge is less "out there" if you know what I mean, but the size of his manhood is unmistakable now that it is an unpadded dancebelt and the outline is clearly visible.

After all this trying to "hide" my husband I started feeling embarrassed for his sake as I could see it was starting to take its toll on his self confidence, whereas normally according to the world a well-endowed man is accepted as something treasured, it was now becoming a "problem" to him. I threw down everything in the shop and told him to wear anything, and that I couldn't much care about what anyone thinks and that I am very proud of him and definitely LOVE what he has between his legs.

After asking this question, I have found people have different definitions of 'showing-bulge'. Some think it is the outline of the penis showing and others think it is a "volume-bulge" showing. In my husbands case it is not the outline that shows as much, he is just literally DOUBLE in size volume wise. If not too much information, when his shaft lies up he is longer and doubly thicker than the other men on stage, and his balls hang and stand out heavily. Sorry, but I have no other way to explain.... white tights borderline on being obscene.

I say again the bulge does not bother me. He just loves dancing, but the problem is he is such a nice guy that no one would say anything to his face or when he is around. When he is not around they talk about "it". I've heard them speculating on how big it really is, whether he stuffs himself, even on me being quite a petite woman being able to handle "that"?? They don't comment on his dancing....

He is big, so what? Can't people get over it already? He is not dancing because he is big or like to show off, he is dancing and it ends up that he shows a lot!! Should he stop dancing because he is big?

Rosa, if I may ask, how do you handle the comments? What comments have you heard and how do you handle it? I love my husband and would like to stand up for him.........

Thanx



What bothers me is not the bulge.
RobSF

United States

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#10
Mar 4, 2011
 
HI Rosa,
I am also a male dancer and have done it since I have been a young boy, now 29.
I, too, have always been "Larger" than others, but like nearly everyone else said on this post, if people in class are paying attention to a man's "bulge", then they aren't very good dancers!
One other suggestion I might add is have him wear two pairs of tights. I do that a lot and it tends to hold you in more and "smooth" out the front, giving that nice,domed bulge instead of a vertical tubed look.(sorry to sound graphic, but that's the only way I could think of to put it.)
But more than anything, embrace the fact that your husband is soaking up the fine culture of human performance art!!
Hope that helps,
Rob
Phil

Glasgow, UK

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#11
Aug 18, 2011
 
Can I just ask? How 'big' is he? I've the opposite problem - I'm somewhat 'under-endowed'- certainly in comparison to most of the other guys in my class. I never thought I was until I saw the size of their packages - and I do find it off-putting.
aWife

UK

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#12
Aug 25, 2011
 

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Hi Phil, you ask how big is he? Do you want actual measured size? Here goes as I estimate it.......

Flaccid Penis length = 16 to 18cm
Flaccid Penis width = 3.5cm

His testicles? about the size of 1 and a half golf ball each

I do not know how the average man compares to my husband, but all I can say is in ballet tights he is HUGE!!!
paridon

Johannesburg, South Africa

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#13
Sep 14, 2011
 

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seems to me this is just a oppertunity for you to brag and talk about your husbands big cock, seems that enough people have already witnissed the same, so go for it, tell your girlfriends about it so you can see the envy in their eyes.
aWife

UK

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#14
Sep 17, 2011
 

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paridon wrote:
seems to me this is just a oppertunity for you to brag and talk about your husbands big cock, seems that enough people have already witnissed the same, so go for it, tell your girlfriends about it so you can see the envy in their eyes.
Dear Paridon,
Obviously your are not interested in answering anything I have asked or explained. Why you had to comment I have no idea, for your comment leaves no satisfaction to anyone, only your jealosy ans 'small endowment' is made evident and obviously you do not have the same 'problem' as my husband.

Please, in future, if you do not have anything to add that is to the betterment of any situation, feel free to go to another blog or whatever to vent your frustrations about your inadequacies as I do mine here on this topic....

Thanks to all others here, just telling you what I feel and am going thru and reading your comments, helped immensly......

So Paridon, if you do ballet and have an above average endowment, feel free to give my your enlightened views or move on to other interests please........I think you are one of those who read the topic headline and felt you just had to read the thread, after reading a while you felt inadequate in yourself and thought lets downrun some one so you can feel better about your insufficiency.......

I love my husband and want to stand by him and support him in everything he does.......and if you can not see that, then you are a shallow small person, so move along then..

Ps. I only amswered what people wanted to know in order to understand my situation better
Old_Dancer

Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK

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#15
Nov 16, 2011
 
Why worry about comments of others. I've done ballet for over ten years now, I'm not overy endowed in the penis department but have rather large balls. I've found that the folk who take time to study such things whilst watching a dance are normally there for all the wrong reasons. Let him bulge with pride, and enjoy the comments, I certainly do as a man only a few years off middle age. As long as nothing bounces about and you've done your best then to hell with it. I've had comments in the past from ladies that they have even noticed I'm circumcised, I thank them for their attention and carry on!!!!
world class athlete

United States

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#16
Nov 29, 2011
 
All he needs to wear over his dance belt (but under his tights)is a pair of compression shorts which are basically a panty girdle without garters. Athletes in every sport in the U.S. wear them and the combination will without doubt hide his manhood adequately. I know from personal experience having double digit measurements since my early teens. I have danced semi professionally in several countries over the decades and played on two professional sports teams in the 80's.
Nag1

Amherstburg, Canada

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#17
Dec 1, 2011
 
Hi I would also recommend compression shorts. I am a football player that is overly endowed and I tend to have issues finding cups. I also have to go up a size or sometimes even 2 in my football pants and even boxers because the size makes the ones that fit my waist too tight between the legs. After the compression shorts they are a little better not a full problem solver but gives a better feel. As for the comments my wife is also quite small i am 6'4 she is 5'2 and she sometimes gets comments about my penis size from her girl friends that have seen games comments like "how does he not break you" "how big is he really" "how could that possibly feel good in you ". She just laughs and says that's my man he's amazing I fell in love with him, his penis size is just the bonus prize. she is amazing about it and something that could be seen awkward for her she turns into a way to tell her friends how much she loves me. If I am anywhere close when it happens she raises her voice a little so I can overhear and usually it gives me a little pride that she will let them in on the fact she's happy with it I would suggest find something like that if someone asks when he is near you Make him feel like your not embarrassed of him or for him to be seen like that because it's probably something he sees now as a my wife wants me to cover up because she dosnt want it to be seen issue instead of the you want him to cover up because your embarrassed for him because of comments issue. There is nothing to be embarrassed about being bigger is a gift that a few of us get and by the time we get older we get use to a few more stares. Every time your in a locker room you see someone taking a glance or hear a wow even at a urinal. Your husband is probably use to his manhood getting a few extra stares by now the best thing you can do as a wife is show him you love it the way it is.-Nate
Jordan

State College, PA

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#18
Feb 1, 2012
 
you should think about getting him circumcised tighter, plus if you guys ever visit Thailand...um, men can be fully functional with just one testicle!
dancerguy

Jenks, OK

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#19
Feb 10, 2012
 
I see you've been talking about this for awhile - but I thought I would chime in -- I have been dancing since I was a boy and am now retired from dancing regularly, but still take classes. I agree with others, that it probably isn't an issue in class -- but I hear what you are saying about what others say. I've seen everything, from guys stuffing their dance belt to look bigger, to taping down with athletic tape to look smaller (not recommended) - however, I think it becomes a non-issue. When I was in high school, we had a great rehearsal and somehow I got an erection - I thought I was going to die. Thanks to the dance belt, I don't think anyone noticed what was happening -- even in a group of teens, where normally such a thing would've been pointed out, it wasn't -- I'm guessing by now, You've decided it's not a big deal. Hope all is still going great for your husband. Would love to hear an update.
big p

Seattle, WA

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#20
Feb 25, 2012
 
hey fellows,there is not wrong with a guy having a bulge,especially wearing tights,the penis is a structure that is an external organ,let it bulge.i am sure a lot of women who watched football games and ballet dances are there to enjoy seeing the bulge's of men.because of our sociology of ignorance in America,men are not accepted by wearing tights or showing a bulge.nowadays a lot of women show their boobs even when they are out running or going out in public or they wear tights that are revealing and no body comes out to tell them hey girl your boobs are revealing or you are showing too much ass or you are wearing tights you have a big butt.so why must this be a problem for men to show a bulge or wear something tight.let your husband dance with a bulge,let people talk,dont worry about what people say,i am sure they are dying to get your husband,they are jealous.

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