You know your a Redneck if..............

You know your a Redneck if.................

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“TOO STRONG TO BE BROKEN”

Level 1

Since: Nov 08

PITTSBURGH

#1 Nov 30, 2008
You would be a redneck if:

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.

You move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

You mow your lawn and find a car.

You can spit without opening your mouth.

Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.

You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

Taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

You take a fishing pole to Sea World.

The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.

You've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.

Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport.

The receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You think the stock market has a fence around it.

You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.

Your home has more miles on it than your car.
Your Christmas tree is still up in February.

You've ever been arrested for loitering.

You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.

There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.

You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.

You own a homemade fur coat.

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
Hey, it's the truth.

“TOO STRONG TO BE BROKEN”

Level 1

Since: Nov 08

PITTSBURGH

#3 Nov 30, 2008
or if you eat and shyt in the same bowl

“Cake in hand cake n mouth what”

Since: Feb 08

Big D

#4 Dec 5, 2008
redneck? "You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. "

Tattoos are cool...youre just jealous bc your to dark to get any.

Since: Oct 07

Boston, MA

#5 Dec 5, 2008
If you and your mother go to the same high school.

“Learn to love yourself first!!”

Since: Oct 07

Georgia Peach

#6 Dec 5, 2008
its_okay wrote:
redneck? "You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. "
Tattoos are cool...youre just jealous bc your to dark to get any.
tattoos on a black man are sexy as hell. esp when he nice and cut

Since: Nov 08

Location hidden

#7 Dec 5, 2008
GirlPower wrote:
<quoted text>tattoos on a black man are sexy as hell. esp when he nice and cut
now this is true

I hate tribal on white men( to trendy) but on black men it looks really good. It blends well the dark ink with the skin. Ive seen a dark guy with a full sleeve

“Learn to love yourself first!!”

Since: Oct 07

Georgia Peach

#8 Dec 5, 2008
Rotten_Apple wrote:
<quoted text>
now this is true
I hate tribal on white men( to trendy) but on black men it looks really good. It blends well the dark ink with the skin. Ive seen a dark guy with a full sleeve
it is so sexy. esp when they are done well. I dont like them on the neck and stuff though.

“TOO STRONG TO BE BROKEN”

Level 1

Since: Nov 08

PITTSBURGH

#9 Dec 5, 2008
its_okay wrote:
redneck? "You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. "
Tattoos are cool...youre just jealous bc your to dark to get any.
you must be a redneck
ADV

Indianapolis, IN

#10 Dec 5, 2008
dreno412 wrote:
<quoted text>you must be a redneck
You must be a racist

Since: Oct 07

Boston, MA

#11 Dec 5, 2008
Every time you see a dead squirrel in the road, you think of dinner.

“KK's 5 Star Beauty”

Since: May 08

KK The Capo Don Supreme

#12 Dec 5, 2008
If you,......
Have a Confederate flag as your curtain.
Chew tobacco.
Eat what you can shoot.
If wranglers are apart of your wardrobe.
Feel tough when you listen to Garth Brooks.
Smoke Marlboro's.
Look Like the Marlboro man!!.
Your attire is wearing cowboy boots and a lumberjack.
If the sheriff knows you by your first name.
If you had a shot gun wedding and your father-in- law is also your biological father and the bride is your sister.
If your wife curses you out for trackin horse sh## onto her already muddy carpet in the trailer.
If you sit in front of your trailer drinking beer after beer on a weathered sofa.
if your trailer is held up by cylinder blocks and used tires.
If your have a black eye from from being bull kicked after drinking at the rodeo.
If you hog tie your wife as four play.
If you let off rounds of gun fire everytime your team makes a score.
If you drink old style,coors,bud light,silver bullet and keystone.

“My future husband!”

Level 1

Since: Dec 07

Location hidden

#13 Dec 5, 2008
You know you're a Redneck...

If you have a mullet hairdo and always wearing a dirty wife beater.

If you constintley hold a beer in your hand.

If your kids hair is cut in a mullet.

If you own a brown short haired dog--hunting dog.

If you own a pick up truck.

“My future husband!”

Level 1

Since: Dec 07

Location hidden

#14 Dec 5, 2008
Oh and...

If your wife is smoking while pregnant.

“TOO STRONG TO BE BROKEN”

Level 1

Since: Nov 08

PITTSBURGH

#18 Dec 5, 2008
Jawga boy you a funny dude lol
Ime

United States

#19 Dec 5, 2008
This thread is RACIST. Thanks for showing your true side.

“TOO STRONG TO BE BROKEN”

Level 1

Since: Nov 08

PITTSBURGH

#21 Dec 6, 2008
Ime wrote:
This thread is RACIST. Thanks for showing your true side.
your welcome
Andrew

Deep River, Canada

#22 Dec 7, 2008
LOL
Only about 7 or 8 of those things are true of me

“TOO STRONG TO BE BROKEN”

Level 1

Since: Nov 08

PITTSBURGH

#23 Dec 7, 2008
Andrew wrote:
LOL
Only about 7 or 8 of those things are true of me
well i'm sorry to tell you but your a redneck

“KK's 5 Star Beauty”

Since: May 08

KK The Capo Don Supreme

#24 Dec 8, 2008
If You have to appear in court or pay a fine for an expired hunting license,you are a redkneck.
If your wife looks like a beat up a## dolly parton with a white cowboy hat and a blouse that looks like a red and white checker picnic table cloth and everytime she bends over to tuck her jeans into those tired a## white leather cowboy boots with the suede straps and someone mistakenly puts napkins and a food basket on her back than b!tch you are,....A redkneck.
If your only means of transportation is a john deere tractor then,....A redkneck.
If you Look like Rusty Jones in a white and green john deere cap then,...A redkneck.
If you kick your door in askng "maw, what's for supper" muthaf##ka you should know you are,...a redkneck.
If you have a big dumb a## belt buckle that looks like a hub cap with a bull head on it then you are a redkneck.
If you have spurs on your boots and wear a texas tie then you could be considered,a redkneck.
If your night out on the town is going down the road to the next barn for square dancing then guess what h#e,... you are a redkneck.
If you live in a house on the side of the road and your guess house is just an RV in your drive way man look here you are a redkneck.
If you use a lasso to fetch your remote,car keys,beer can or your wife then you are a redkneck.
If you don't know how to operate an elevator or when you're in an elevator you mistake it for the smallest trailor you've ever seen then you are redkneck.
If you use phrases like;What in Blue Blazes,I reckon,I don't rightly know,Well Bless her heart,Howdy,Sure nuff,Dangit, or when describing something you say things like: I want the color what looks like,.... then you should know you're a redkneck.
Normal people have items in their medicine cabinet like;Band aids,gauze,toothpaste,asprin and dental floss,....if you have all of the above and an emergency snake bite kit then you are

A MUTHAF##KIN RED KNECK!!!!!!!!!!

Since: Oct 07

Boston, MA

#25 Dec 8, 2008
You know you're a redneck if your mother/cousin makes you take your sister/cousin to the junior prom for the sixth year in a row.

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