Is whooping your child on the same le...

Is whooping your child on the same level as domestic abuse?

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“A diamond in the rough...”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#1 Oct 20, 2009
Just my opinion...

Whooping, not spanking or a swat on the wrist, I'm talking about whooping and beating(like what goes on in black families), with the belts,objects,punching with fist,slapping,etc...

I just put that on the same level as someone beating their wife or husband.
Not only that,but I think this is one reason people commit domestic violence later in life or why black women stay in abusive relationships.
Negrodamus

Kenner, LA

#2 Oct 20, 2009
What is your opinion on the "ghetto lobster" phenomenon in black culture?
Tim John

United States

#3 Oct 20, 2009
LilBlackGirl wrote:
Just my opinion...
Whooping, not spanking or a swat on the wrist, I'm talking about whooping and beating(like what goes on in black families), with the belts,objects,punching with fist,slapping,etc...
I just put that on the same level as someone beating their wife or husband.
Not only that,but I think this is one reason people commit domestic violence later in life or why black women stay in abusive relationships.
Quid pro quo, is the massive amount incest that goes on in White family domestic abuse? You answer this question, I will answer yours....Quid pro quo...
Skeptic

United States

#4 Oct 20, 2009
Anyone that would boil a child is as evil as they come. However, the citizens of this country do not seem to get too worked up over a murder, I've been squawking about this for a while, there is no murderer registry, no one worries if a murderer lives by a school, everyone seems happy to have an ex-con murderer in the neighborhood, they don't have to register with the police, their whereabouts are untracked, no internet database/registry.

So, for whatever reason, the USA coddles murderers.
Negrodamus wrote:
What is your opinion on the "ghetto lobster" phenomenon in black culture?

Level 1

Since: Apr 07

Tallahassee, FL

#5 Oct 20, 2009
LilBlackGirl wrote:
Just my opinion...
Whooping, not spanking or a swat on the wrist, I'm talking about whooping and beating(like what goes on in black families), with the belts,objects,punching with fist,slapping,etc...
I just put that on the same level as someone beating their wife or husband.
Not only that,but I think this is one reason people commit domestic violence later in life or why black women stay in abusive relationships.
I don't see whooping as strictly an AA culture thing. When I was a girl, my father used to send us out to the tree to get a switch, and if we'd try to bring the smallest one we could find, my dad would then go choose the biggest one. My mother would smack our faces with wooden spoons if we ever 'talked back' or said anything inappropriate. Such 'spankings' were considered normal punishments. Nowadays, though, it IS considered abuse to hit a child with anything other than your hand and anywhere but the backside.

As for whether such whoopings cause someone to be desensitized to abuse ergo accepting it, well, I have no facts either way. My opinion is that, generally, a person is more likely to find themselves in an abusive relationship, either as the receiver or doer. But every person is different, and there's no guaranty. I myself didn't fall into any trap, nor did I continue my parents' type of punishment with my own children. So again, it depends on the individual.

Since: Jun 09

Chicago, IL

#6 Oct 20, 2009
If I ever have children I would never whoop them. I was whooped and I resent my mom and my stepdad to this day I don't even talk to them. They used to whoop me with belts and til I was bruised. I was a child I still can't figure out why they would do that to me when I really didn't know any better. I mean I knew right from wrong of course but making mistakes is a part of life. I think they did it because they really didn't want me there in the first place. My mom had me when she was 15. I remember one time when I was around 5, because my mom was in her second year of college, they fed me beets and spinach one night. Now me being a 5 year old child everyone on this website will agree, no 5 year old would want to eat that for dinner. They spanked me for not eating it after making me sit in front of the plate for hours. And the funny thing about it was that they eat a totally different meal, they damn near tortured me seriously. Then I remember getting spanked for telling my stepdad he wasn't my daddy and my mom let him whoop me. Why was she letting a grown ass man spank her 5 year old daughter I still don't understand to this day.

I was born in Arkansas and now I live in Chicago because she chased my stepdad back to Chicago and had his baby. He really isn't my stepdad he is my brothers father because they never got married. I cannot stand any of them. My mom, him, and my brother and I aren't close at all. That's why when I turned 18 I left and never went back.

Since: Jun 09

Chicago, IL

#7 Oct 20, 2009
I personally believe spanking children makes them angry kids. I was mad all the time. I would talk back to the teachers and curse out my classmates. I just had anger issues until the day I moved out of their house.
Laughing Devil

Chico, CA

#8 Oct 20, 2009
I dont see a problem with spanking a child. I grew up on whoopin's but I don't think anything is wrong with em within reason. Punching, kicking and using objects that are near to hurt you child I do see a problem with people beating their children, that sht causes serious mental trauma.

“A diamond in the rough...”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#9 Oct 21, 2009
MyPerspective wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't see whooping as strictly an AA culture thing. When I was a girl, my father used to send us out to the tree to get a switch, and if we'd try to bring the smallest one we could find, my dad would then go choose the biggest one. My mother would smack our faces with wooden spoons if we ever 'talked back' or said anything inappropriate. Such 'spankings' were considered normal punishments. Nowadays, though, it IS considered abuse to hit a child with anything other than your hand and anywhere but the backside.
As for whether such whoopings cause someone to be desensitized to abuse ergo accepting it, well, I have no facts either way. My opinion is that, generally, a person is more likely to find themselves in an abusive relationship, either as the receiver or doer. But every person is different, and there's no guaranty. I myself didn't fall into any trap, nor did I continue my parents' type of punishment with my own children. So again, it depends on the individual.
Getting hit with a switch or wooden spoon is not a spanking,but more on the lines of whooping/beating. As far as I know,there aren't any studies done on whoopings and domestic violence,but I do remember hearing that most of the men in prison got whooped when they were young (somn like that). I do think it depends on the person and like you, Im not falling into "the trap",but thats us,what about the others who fall into the trap?
Why did you decide to not whoop your kids,even though your parents did it to you? You must have realized somn wasn't right about that.

“A diamond in the rough...”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#10 Oct 21, 2009
JordanMonroe wrote:
If I ever have children I would never whoop them. I was whooped and I resent my mom and my stepdad to this day I don't even talk to them. They used to whoop me with belts and til I was bruised. I was a child I still can't figure out why they would do that to me when I really didn't know any better. I mean I knew right from wrong of course but making mistakes is a part of life. I think they did it because they really didn't want me there in the first place. My mom had me when she was 15. I remember one time when I was around 5, because my mom was in her second year of college, they fed me beets and spinach one night. Now me being a 5 year old child everyone on this website will agree, no 5 year old would want to eat that for dinner. They spanked me for not eating it after making me sit in front of the plate for hours. And the funny thing about it was that they eat a totally different meal, they damn near tortured me seriously. Then I remember getting spanked for telling my stepdad he wasn't my daddy and my mom let him whoop me. Why was she letting a grown ass man spank her 5 year old daughter I still don't understand to this day.
I was born in Arkansas and now I live in Chicago because she chased my stepdad back to Chicago and had his baby. He really isn't my stepdad he is my brothers father because they never got married. I cannot stand any of them. My mom, him, and my brother and I aren't close at all. That's why when I turned 18 I left and never went back.
Wow...Im glad your breaking the cycle though. Thats why I think its on the same lines as domestic abuse. Using your hand and objects to force someone to obey you or because they did something wrong. And Im talking about stuff kids normally do,like you said,not eating certain foods. I remember when parents threatened to whoop me because I didn't want to eat some d*mn pork chitlings and I was around 4 years old!! Can you believe that country sh*t! My uncle saved me though because he sneaked in and ate them for me. My parents were young parents too,so maybe this is something that usually happens among young parents,which is also a problem in the black community. And I didn't even get the "worse" whoopings. I can remember talking with friends,cousins,classmates,etc . and they would talk about getting hit numerous times with objects such as wooden spoons(like the poster up top),wood boards,electric cords,broomsticks,fly swatter handles,wood sticks(not switches),and even with their parent's fists and kicking,etc all up to they were age 18 and left the house...I don't think I ever got whooped with any except a belt, and I had issues with anger management issues,so imagine them. Many of them have mental issues, or whoop their kids, or simply not on the right path (jail,oow kids,quit school,etc).
My mom and dad were whooped growing up and for a long time they fought each other and he would beat her.

Since: Nov 08

Toronto, Canada

#11 Oct 21, 2009
I grew up on whoopings and I still love my mother till this day. Always will. I wouldn't call what she did child abuse because, despite the fact that when I got whooped with belts or other objects, it was never a straight beatdown. Plus, I always knew why I was got whooped and it wasn't like she just whooped me and left me there. She has always been encouraging me, looking out for me and making sure she did all she could for me to grow up and be somebody productive.

And truth be told, maybe the fear she put into me by whoopings was good for me. I mean, sure I stayed on the right path and avoided a lot of ignorance because it was the right thing to do. But also, the knowledge of knowing that my mom would probably beat the living sh!t out of me if I ever got into stupid trouble was enough to keep me doing right.

“A diamond in the rough...”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#12 Oct 21, 2009
Laughing Devil wrote:
I dont see a problem with spanking a child. I grew up on whoopin's but I don't think anything is wrong with em within reason. Punching, kicking and using objects that are near to hurt you child I do see a problem with people beating their children, that sht causes serious mental trauma.
Yeah,whoopings are punching,kicking,using objects. Thats (what I think) most black kids get,not spankings. And on top of that the parent doing it is screaming at you.

Level 1

Since: Apr 07

Tallahassee, FL

#14 Oct 21, 2009
LilBlackGirl wrote:
<quoted text>
Getting hit with a switch or wooden spoon is not a spanking,but more on the lines of whooping/beating. As far as I know,there aren't any studies done on whoopings and domestic violence,but I do remember hearing that most of the men in prison got whooped when they were young (somn like that). I do think it depends on the person and like you, Im not falling into "the trap",but thats us,what about the others who fall into the trap?
Why did you decide to not whoop your kids,even though your parents did it to you? You must have realized somn wasn't right about that.
I agree what I experienced as a child wasn't just a spanking. But I'm in my 60s, and such punishments were considered normal. In my time, even schools would use a paddle if you stepped out of line.

As for my children, I did spank...true spanking though(a couple of swats on the behind with my bare hand) and those were reserved for the severest of bad acts. I personally felt using an object to discipline wasn't necessary, or even spankings, especially as my kids got older.(Taking away phone privileges from a teen is MUCH more of a deterrent than spanking.) Plus, times changed by the time I had children and 'whoopings' were then considered child abuse.

I don't know about others who've experienced what we have. I feel we all are responsible to create the world we live in, and can choose our courses, no matter where we come from or what we've experienced. A line from an old MJ song says it all: If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make the change.
Jason Lee

Brook, IN

#15 Oct 21, 2009
A quick swat or two on the behind in order to get their attention is OK.

But beyond that, it IS child abuse.

IMAO.

“A diamond in the rough...”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#16 Oct 21, 2009
king_spade wrote:
I grew up on whoopings and I still love my mother till this day. Always will. I wouldn't call what she did child abuse because, despite the fact that when I got whooped with belts or other objects, it was never a straight beatdown. Plus, I always knew why I was got whooped and it wasn't like she just whooped me and left me there. She has always been encouraging me, looking out for me and making sure she did all she could for me to grow up and be somebody productive.
And truth be told, maybe the fear she put into me by whoopings was good for me. I mean, sure I stayed on the right path and avoided a lot of ignorance because it was the right thing to do. But also, the knowledge of knowing that my mom would probably beat the living sh!t out of me if I ever got into stupid trouble was enough to keep me doing right.
Do you think maybe its a different thing for girls? Would you do the same thing your mom/dad did to you to your own daughter?
And another thing I hate, is when a man whoops his daughter...It just don't seem right.
I got whooped and I turned out good,(for the most part),but I realize that like many people that got whooped, there was no communication involved with the parents. It was just fear and then fear eventually turns to some type of violence (the kid hits/fights back/rebels). Not only that,but the things I got whooped for, I would just find a way to do them without getting caught. Its like parents are just getting their own personal frustrations out on their child by beating him/her and yelling.
There are a few of us who got whooped and turned out ok,but for some reason I believe there are way more who didn't. I bet if a study was done and we asked the drug dealers,baby momas,baby daddies,school dropouts,crackheads,morbally obese,whores/prostitutes,of our community how many of them got whooped growing up, I bet over 60% of them would say they did and quite often. Just like that prison study was done.
Its part of the slave mentality too thats been past down. The masters beat us with whips to get us to obey and to vent their frustration and then black folks beat their children for the same reason. And we can't blame whites for what we do to our children/community over a century after slavery. I can't even hit a puppy,so I don't see how anyone can beat/whoop their child...
which brings up another subject I won't discuss on Topix dealing with self-image and whooping your child.

Since: Nov 08

Hamilton, Canada

#17 Oct 21, 2009
LilBlackGirl wrote:
<quoted text>
Do you think maybe its a different thing for girls? Would you do the same thing your mom/dad did to you to your own daughter?
And another thing I hate, is when a man whoops his daughter...It just don't seem right.
I got whooped and I turned out good,(for the most part),but I realize that like many people that got whooped, there was no communication involved with the parents. It was just fear and then fear eventually turns to some type of violence (the kid hits/fights back/rebels). Not only that,but the things I got whooped for, I would just find a way to do them without getting caught. Its like parents are just getting their own personal frustrations out on their child by beating him/her and yelling.
There are a few of us who got whooped and turned out ok,but for some reason I believe there are way more who didn't. I bet if a study was done and we asked the drug dealers,baby momas,baby daddies,school dropouts,crackheads,morbally obese,whores/prostitutes,of our community how many of them got whooped growing up, I bet over 60% of them would say they did and quite often. Just like that prison study was done.
Its part of the slave mentality too thats been past down. The masters beat us with whips to get us to obey and to vent their frustration and then black folks beat their children for the same reason. And we can't blame whites for what we do to our children/community over a century after slavery. I can't even hit a puppy,so I don't see how anyone can beat/whoop their child...
which brings up another subject I won't discuss on Topix dealing with self-image and whooping your child.
In my family's culture, everybody gets whooped, son, daughter, it doesn't matter. And it's also acceptable for close family or close family friends to give out whoopings if the child is misbehaving. My girlfriend grew up the same way as she's also a very productive member of society. I think that the problem with whoopings comes about when we look at HOW it is done, not so much the fact that it's done. As far as I am concerned, whooping is a last resort. Nothing is more disgusting to me then seeing a parent whooped their child just because they got angry at the time and violence was their first reaction. All the child ever learns is "when mommy/daddy gets mad, they hit." My mom communicated with me a lot and always reminded me that I was one of her children, she loved me very and she wanted nothing more then to see me become somebody. She was understanding and gave me a lot of love and a sense of pride. She also hardly ever whooped me. So because of that, when she did whoop me, it was for something she talked to me about before hand, but because I was being a rebel, I got whooped. The lesson I learned was "there are consequences for your actions and those consequences can hurt if you do something dumb." So best believe, while I did rebel in some ways, the vast majority of times, I was honest with my mom and kept on the straight and narrow.

If I did decide to whoop my daughter, this is how I would do it. She would know every day that she's daddy's princess and she is capable of anything BUT daddy expects big things from her and will whoop that ass if she starts to stray from the path. No beat down or nothing but enough that she gets the message that daddy expects her to act responsibly and with sense. I don't want any problem children. lol.
reese

United States

#18 Nov 11, 2009
i got whooped as a child and to this day i dont speak with my parents. i dont believe in child abuse at all. theres other forms of discipline. if i see someone or hear about someone whooping their child i report it. its child abuse when you hit your child with a belt. find less angry/aggressive ways to discipline your child
Babe

United States

#19 Jan 15, 2010
Whooping your child is just wrong there are other forms of discipline you shouldn't have to beat your child just to get your point across parents who whooped their kids are nothing but child abusers
Malcolm

Southfield, MI

#20 Jan 15, 2010
LilBlackGirl wrote:
Just my opinion...
Whooping, not spanking or a swat on the wrist, I'm talking about whooping and beating(like what goes on in black families), with the belts,objects,punching with fist,slapping,etc...
I just put that on the same level as someone beating their wife or husband.
Not only that,but I think this is one reason people commit domestic violence later in life or why black women stay in abusive relationships.
No one should ever punch a family member, or leave bruises, scars, cuts etc.

The hypocracy of our society is that the rod that the Bible speaks of is removed from husband, wife or father, mother.

Yet the rod remains with the State (police, army etc)

Be careful in a generation or two they may take away gun rights as well it's just pschological massaging.

When the police beat a man or woman it's totally exceptable, but if a husband did that to his wife it's domestic violence. Pschologically the wife will have no husband abuse her, which she shouldn't, but if the police slam her, they are doing their job.

All forms of abuse are wrong, but taking the rod out of the house is dangerous.

In the Holy Qur'an it talks about how Prophet Job (p) was ordered to beat his wife with blades of grass, which is harmless. It was an example of how God minimized beatings to almost nothing but stopped short of removing the husband's authority because of what comes from disarming a man in his own house.

Satan's plan is to disarm man in his own home, and women fall for this, as do many silly minded men. The children become wild, then society blames it on parents.

Well hell, you took the rod away then you blame me, there are some dumb people in State capitols.
Malcolm

Southfield, MI

#21 Jan 15, 2010
Babe wrote:
Whooping your child is just wrong there are other forms of discipline you shouldn't have to beat your child just to get your point across parents who whooped their kids are nothing but child abusers
Anytime children are killing parents for life insurance, you have to question whether or not talking to these kids is worth our time.

Point is the way the kids nowadays think is far from how we were, plotting against parents we didn't even think of.

I didn't even know what a homosexual was for a long time, but I knew who the boss was in my home.

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