Study: There are Fewer 'Deadbeat Dads'
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“The Love Below”

Level 8

Since: Apr 10

ATL

#44 Jan 11, 2013
JustdroppedIN wrote:
<quoted text>When will folk start to look at where the decline began?
Nobody wants to say what really needs to be said.
WHEN BLACK MEN LEFT THE HOME, THE BLACK FAMILY WAS DESTROYED. DECADES OF BM FAILING TO BE RESPONSIBLE, LEFT BW WOMEN DEPENDANT ON WELFARE, LOW PAYING JOBS AND LITTLE EDUCATION. THAT CYCLE CONTINUED UP INTO THE EARLY 80s AND SLOWED DOWN BUT DIDN'T STOP.
FAST FORWARD 25 YEARS AND LOOK NOW!
GOD MADE MAN THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE, MAN DECIDED HE DIDN'T WANT THE RESPONSIBILITY. A WOMAN CAN NOT RAISE A MAN OR TEACH HIM HOW TO BE ONE.
SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE AND WHO DO YOU BLAME?
Its more complicated than that. Their was just a lot thrown at black people. They let drugs in our neighborhoods, feminist movements, job discrimination, ect. All this leads to someone walking out on the family, and some of these kids went to fostercare, because the mother walked out on these kids. Group homes are becoming black and brown overnite now! America wants a 50/50 with the man and woman now, so people are forgetting their roles as men and women, especially when the right person comes along, and if you are a woman, and you have this and that. Its more to it than this. Some of these women do come from two parent homes, but they have their own house and care, plus a career, so they are too independent of a man, and they start serial dating just like men, not all, but the ones I know have.

“The Love Below”

Level 8

Since: Apr 10

ATL

#45 Jan 11, 2013
American women wanted freedom from men, so this is some of their nightmare.

“Shed so many tears”

Level 7

Since: Jan 08

Location hidden

#46 Jan 11, 2013
Moorspeaks wrote:
<quoted text>

REMEMBER...EVE GOT INTO TROUBLE FOR HER VERY OWN ACTIONS IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN...NOT BECAUSE OF ANYTHING THAT ADAM DID!
I beg to differ! had Adam been watchful, in control and the head where God put him, his wife could not have disobeyed him. When he told Eve what the Lord said, him being the man should have laid the rules down like any man should, but he didn't, thus his house was broken because he did not establish order or show himself strong. A strong man CANNOT walk into an even STRONGER mans house, it aint happening. Yes eve was weak but ADAM WAS HER STRENGTH and she did not respect him or what he said because he himself did not take authority to the power that was given to him.

You say your married Moor, could another man come into your house right now and demand your wife bring him a glass of water? You being the man, would you not show yourself as the man of the house and stop him dead in his tracks? OR would you just turn your back and leave your wife to fend for herself and fall victim?

NO, you'd put your foot down and show him whose boss, and thus your wife would love you more with and endless love and respect because you stood up for her and you protected that "good thing" God gave you.

Adam was weaker! His wife got out of his one time and look what happened. She did not fear his authority over her and he did not put his foot down and mean what he said!

A MAN is the head not the tail. The woman was made the weaker vessel so that she could see her husband as the strong one. God made it that way. But when a man does not know who he is, HIS HOUSE SUFFERS!

His CHILDREN SUFFERS.

He causes all manner of curses to come upon his family.

“Shed so many tears”

Level 7

Since: Jan 08

Location hidden

#47 Jan 11, 2013
BROWNMAN20 wrote:
American women wanted freedom from men, so this is some of their nightmare.
Not all. Why do y'all keep assuming that. And then again, why can't you see that women who had to go out and get jobs or go back to school HAD NO CHOICE! There are plenty of BW who refused welfare and got jobs to take care of their children, some even taking care of elder parents because of the situation they were in, where men just completely abandoned the home.

American women had no rights at all a long time ago. Women had to fight just to be equal and at the same time the BM was going through just as much. it became more acceptable to those who had the power to hire BW instead of BM, that was automatic division right there in the black home, but what was the BW to do, turn down the job so that a BM could have some pride?

BM started looking at the BW one sided not even saying, ok baby we can still do this together. A BM shoild have just prayed and stayed, but instead he tucked his tail and ran.

BW had no choice!

While all this was going on, who kept the children? If BM were so disgusted with the BW, take your kids with you, BM didn't do that. They left those babies and left a BITTER taste in the mouths of those he left behind.

NEVER SAYING SORRY!

God blessed the BW to be strong for her BM not against him!

“Black Luv or Bust!”

Level 7

Since: Jul 11

Location hidden

#48 Feb 12, 2013
JustdroppedIN wrote:
<quoted text>See that's where you're wrong. Not all BW want to be the head of the household, MANY are forced to be because of lazy azz BM.
I for one would never disrespect my husband and jump in front of him to rush and do anything. I respect his position and I was raised in a house where the man was the head NOT THE WOMAN. People like you look at what seems to be the majority. "SEEMS". BW have been left with NO CHOICE but to get a job, go back to school and do the best they can when it comes to taking care of their children and themselves. The very few that sit on welfare and raise thugs and thugettes don't want a better life, they just want a hand out and at the same time there are women living amongst those same kind, working hard and trying to get their children out of that situation, WHERE IS THE MAN?
And since when did a man have to come stick his pecker in a woman just because her legs are open, CAN'T A MAN JUST SAY NO? Or IS A MAN JUST GONE BE A MAN AND HIT. These type women attract these same type men, but they don't represent ALL!
They same way you say a woman don't have to, A MAN DON'T EITHER! It's a two way street, bruh! You act as if a pregnant woman got that way herself. You speak as if I don't have enough since to know that BM and BW are both to blame for this screwed up black community we live in, we'll you're wrong.
I can say that BW are at fault. I can admit that BW don't take up time with their kids and leave them to fend for themselves TOO OFTEN than none! I can admit that a woman should wait til marriage before having sex and children. I can say that if it had not been for women thinking that they could do what a man do, the relationship between a BM and BW would be better off nowadays.
I can admit ALL THAT.
It still does not change the facts. When BM left the home, everything went down hill from there!
While I'm glad to see that you can admit all of those things...again...if you think that bm left the home...than you don't understand the real history of bm and bw in this country....bm left the home...because they were often pushed out of it...bw were told by this white government that...you don't need a bm in the house...we'll give you money to survive without him....and at the same time...bm couldn't get jobs at times...why?...because white males...who bw now think are their lord and savior...hired anyone but bm!

Even Asians,Arabs and Hispanics...this is a fact of American culture-history!

“Black Luv or Bust!”

Level 7

Since: Jul 11

Location hidden

#49 Feb 12, 2013
JustdroppedIN wrote:
<quoted text> I beg to differ! had Adam been watchful, in control and the head where God put him, his wife could not have disobeyed him. When he told Eve what the Lord said, him being the man should have laid the rules down like any man should, but he didn't, thus his house was broken because he did not establish order or show himself strong. A strong man CANNOT walk into an even STRONGER mans house, it aint happening. Yes eve was weak but ADAM WAS HER STRENGTH and she did not respect him or what he said because he himself did not take authority to the power that was given to him.
You say your married Moor, could another man come into your house right now and demand your wife bring him a glass of water? You being the man, would you not show yourself as the man of the house and stop him dead in his tracks? OR would you just turn your back and leave your wife to fend for herself and fall victim?
NO, you'd put your foot down and show him whose boss, and thus your wife would love you more with and endless love and respect because you stood up for her and you protected that "good thing" God gave you.
Adam was weaker! His wife got out of his one time and look what happened. She did not fear his authority over her and he did not put his foot down and mean what he said!
A MAN is the head not the tail. The woman was made the weaker vessel so that she could see her husband as the strong one. God made it that way. But when a man does not know who he is, HIS HOUSE SUFFERS!
His CHILDREN SUFFERS.
He causes all manner of curses to come upon his family.
I agree that Adam was suppose to be in charge...but again...What does Eve's behavior say about the nature of a woman?

“Black Luv or Bust!”

Level 7

Since: Jul 11

Location hidden

#50 Feb 12, 2013
JustdroppedIN wrote:
<quoted text> I beg to differ! had Adam been watchful, in control and the head where God put him, his wife could not have disobeyed him. When he told Eve what the Lord said, him being the man should have laid the rules down like any man should, but he didn't, thus his house was broken because he did not establish order or show himself strong. A strong man CANNOT walk into an even STRONGER mans house, it aint happening. Yes eve was weak but ADAM WAS HER STRENGTH and she did not respect him or what he said because he himself did not take authority to the power that was given to him.
You say your married Moor, could another man come into your house right now and demand your wife bring him a glass of water? You being the man, would you not show yourself as the man of the house and stop him dead in his tracks? OR would you just turn your back and leave your wife to fend for herself and fall victim?
NO, you'd put your foot down and show him whose boss, and thus your wife would love you more with and endless love and respect because you stood up for her and you protected that "good thing" God gave you.
Adam was weaker! His wife got out of his one time and look what happened. She did not fear his authority over her and he did not put his foot down and mean what he said!
A MAN is the head not the tail. The woman was made the weaker vessel so that she could see her husband as the strong one. God made it that way. But when a man does not know who he is, HIS HOUSE SUFFERS!
His CHILDREN SUFFERS.
He causes all manner of curses to come upon his family.
But for the record....I do agree with pretty much all of this comment!

But again...the problem that we have here is what...men not taking their place and women...not taking their....which as we both stated amounts to what...bm and bw both being at fault...so nooo bm are not wholly to blame!

A man can't lead a contrary women...I don't care how he puts his foot down...yes I am the head of my household...because I'm dealing with a woman who has some sense of how things are supposed to work...it's a balance...on a daily basis for all intents and purpose...we're partners....and I confer with her on pretty much every thing...but at the same time...there are instances where I have to put my foot down!

But again...some bw have major issues with this....when it comes from a bm...often because they didn't grow up with a father/male authority figure in the house...this brings nothing but conflict when a bm who does know his role/way in relationship...who is not trying to dominate a woman!

You can't discount this...it's a reality with many bw!

*BUT THEN SOME OF THESE VERY SAME BW...WITH THEIR HEADS FILLED WITH SOME TELEVISION BASED PERCEPTION OF ALL OTHER MEN...WILL FALL RIGHT IN LINE WITH SOME NONBM....MEN WHO ARE OFTEN JUST AS BACKWARDS AND LACKING IN ANY REAL SENSE OF WHAT SHOULD AND SHOULDN'T' BE IN A RELATIONSHIP...SOMETIMES WITH MEN THAT ARE EVEN ABUSIVE...I NOW KNOW BW WHO EITHER ARE IN OR HAVE BEEN IN SUCH RELATIONSHIPS...PERSONALLY...I N THE REAL WORLD!

BUT YET THEY FOLLOWED THESE MEN...UNTIL THEY JUST COULDN'T ANYMORE!

“Black Luv or Bust!”

Level 7

Since: Jul 11

Location hidden

#51 Feb 12, 2013
JustdroppedIN wrote:
<quoted text>Not all. Why do y'all keep assuming that. And then again, why can't you see that women who had to go out and get jobs or go back to school HAD NO CHOICE! There are plenty of BW who refused welfare and got jobs to take care of their children, some even taking care of elder parents because of the situation they were in, where men just completely abandoned the home.
American women had no rights at all a long time ago. Women had to fight just to be equal and at the same time the BM was going through just as much. it became more acceptable to those who had the power to hire BW instead of BM, that was automatic division right there in the black home, but what was the BW to do, turn down the job so that a BM could have some pride?
BM started looking at the BW one sided not even saying, ok baby we can still do this together. A BM shoild have just prayed and stayed, but instead he tucked his tail and ran.
BW had no choice!
While all this was going on, who kept the children? If BM were so disgusted with the BW, take your kids with you, BM didn't do that. They left those babies and left a BITTER taste in the mouths of those he left behind.
NEVER SAYING SORRY!
God blessed the BW to be strong for her BM not against him!
Sweetie....I think that to some degree...you are confusing your own personal perspective/values...with that of bw throughout history...and you are most definitely biased and one sided in your view of the history/relationships of bm and bw here in this country!

First of all bm and bw have never really been left alone to be together...this is a fact...and let me tell you as a bm who has been married to a bw...that I love,respect,cherish and protect!

This is a fact...there are sooo many forces at work against bm and bw being together...but seen and unseen...both obvious and otherwise!

When I was courting my wife...do you have any idea how many bw(and others)...both young and old...made some of thee most disparaging remarks about me...and my intentions to my wife...as if there were no successful black couples in the world...or as if I even carried myself in a particular manner that warranted such comments!

While I was a perfect gentleman with her and treated her as if she had fell from heaven...took my time to get to know her and showed nothing but genuine concern for her well being!

Some of these people didn't even know any more about me than my name!

One older bw once stated that...his nose,eyes and his style of dress make him look arrogant and untrustworthy!

Mind you...I had never even met this woman...yet she drew this conclusion of me based on a photo of me!

Again...prior to government programs like welfare...bm didn't leave the home and up until the late seventies bm were with bw in very large numbers...in marriage even!

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