I've been cheating on my girl with my...

I've been cheating on my girl with my female co worker

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Since: Jun 09

Washington, DC

#1 Sep 10, 2009
I know that a lot people have their own problems and many of you probably don't want to listen to mine. But I really have something that I would like discuss here. This is a issue that I believe ruins a lot of marriages and relationships.

Let start by describing the relationship I have with my girlfriend. I have known my girl since the 2nd grade. She was my first girlfriend. We broke up when we was in the 8th grade. We got back together 3 years ago. We have had our ups and down. But for the most part we have a great relationship.

My girlfriend is 7 months pregnet. Since she's been pregnet we have only had sex 3 times. I'm sure most of you can understand how sexually fustrated I have been. I tried to talk to my girl about having sex but she's never in the mood.

The last 2 months I've been in a sexual and emotional relationship with a female co worker. We started out as friends. But I knew from the first time I saw her that I wanted her. So I'm not going to excuse my actions by pretending that this happen on a humble. It might have been something that I didn't plan. But I sure has hell wanted to happen.

I want to tell my girlfriend about what's been going on. But I know that she will be hurt. I don't hurt her feelings, nor do I want to lose her. I know what I have been doing is wrong. I know that I should have never gotten involved with another woman. I want to tell her but how do I go about it? I want to tell the woman that I'm cheating on her with it's over. But I don' know how to just come out and say it.

“Engaged :)”

Since: Aug 07

Windsor, UK

#2 Sep 10, 2009
Damn...

I don't wanna sound insensitive, but if you truly loved your girlfriend and you see that she is pregnant carrying your child, why would you do that to her? You so realise if she breaks up with you, you have ruin the relationship with your child before it has even started?

Now i understand men do get sexually frustrated easily and don't understand why women don't want to feed their sexual urges. But c'mon dude, she's pregnant. If she wasn't pregnant then i would have more sympathy for you...but 7 MONTHS pregnant.

I know personally, if my man cheated on me when i was pregnant, being a woman i would automatically think he only cared for himself, not the child or myself.

Have you told the co worker it's over? Tell the co worker it's over first. I know it can be really hard to be honest, but i think you better sit her down, when she's relaxed and be honest with her. First confront her about your sexual urges, and then tell her what you have done. Then you take it from there.

If she leaves you, don't act surprised.

“"Big FN deal"”

Level 1

Since: Aug 09

Location hidden

#3 Sep 10, 2009
Why?

End the affair and keep you mouth shut. You want to relive your guilt. Buy your Girlfriend a $1000 purse. You will feel a lot better.

People who want to tell do it for selfish reasons. You may have some internal hatred for your Girlfriend, and want to see her suffer. So if that is the case. Then break up with her, and take care of the child.

ps. I hope your co-worker is cool. Because you may loose your job too.

“Engaged :)”

Since: Aug 07

Windsor, UK

#4 Sep 10, 2009
I hope the co worker didn't know about your girl and her pregnancy, if so, she is just as bad for messing with you.

“Booyah!”

Level 5

Since: Jun 09

Birmingham, AL

#5 Sep 10, 2009
You have to decide who you'd rather be with. You can't keep that juggling act up. If I was you (just my opinion), I'd stay with the sure thing , your girl. It seems like you have a history together , and she's carrying your child. I don't know if , in your position , I could give the heave ho to my pregnant girlfriend , but that's me. Plus , the girl at your job could be just an office fling. That ish happens all the time.

Whatever you do , I wouldn't tell your girl about the one at work. Don't want to stress her out in her condition. I'd also make sure to use protection with the work girl as well , for obvious reasons.
tonyab

Fort Washington, MD

#6 Sep 10, 2009
dont say nothing, be a family man and leave this chic alone

Level 1

Since: Apr 07

Tallahassee, FL

#7 Sep 10, 2009
I agree with Clyde when he says, "Keep your mouth shut."

As much as I feel honesty is the best policy, you ARE only trying to relieve your own guilt. You were selfish to have the affair in the first place. Don't compound that selfishness by hurting the girl you claim to love to make yourself feel better. Since, you were able to keep the affair a secret while it was going on, continue to keep it a secret.

AND STOP CHEATING!

“~ Baby Glow~~”

Level 1

Since: Sep 08

The city of Adana

#8 Sep 10, 2009
No one is perfect. And no one should judge you for your downfalls. End the relationship with your co worker first, then tell your girlfriend AFTER the pregnancy. She is in her 3rd trimester and stress could cause probeloms that could lead to an premature birth. You don't want that on your conscious.

How? I don't know homie that's up to you. I think most women would perfer to be told face to face. But If you are not man enough a letter will do. Either way you MUST tell her. That's not fair to her or your child. I suggest getting checked before you even try to sleep with her again. Even If you wrapped it up HPV can be spread by skin to skin contact. Good luck and God bless.

“Engaged :)”

Since: Aug 07

Windsor, UK

#9 Sep 10, 2009
then again...i don't think you should tell her, until she finds out...if she does.

Level 3

Since: May 09

Location hidden

#10 Sep 10, 2009
I think you should firstly end the relationship with the co-worker. Of all the bad things that could happen, I think the one in which your girlfriend finds out that you are still cheating her with another woman is the worse.

“I think ur all crazy!!!!!!!”

Level 1

Since: May 09

Location hidden

#11 Sep 10, 2009
ur already a horrible father! yay!!!!! most guys aren't that mean

“~Belle et ReBelle ~”

Since: Oct 08

NYC

#12 Sep 10, 2009
you won't have to tell her, i will , and its spelled "pregnant"

Since: Jun 09

Washington, DC

#14 Sep 10, 2009
EastLDNgyal wrote:
Damn...
I don't wanna sound insensitive, but if you truly loved your girlfriend and you see that she is pregnant carrying your child, why would you do that to her? You so realise if she breaks up with you, you have ruin the relationship with your child before it has even started?
Now i understand men do get sexually frustrated easily and don't understand why women don't want to feed their sexual urges. But c'mon dude, she's pregnant. If she wasn't pregnant then i would have more sympathy for you...but 7 MONTHS pregnant.
I know personally, if my man cheated on me when i was pregnant, being a woman i would automatically think he only cared for himself, not the child or myself.
Have you told the co worker it's over? Tell the co worker it's over first. I know it can be really hard to be honest, but i think you better sit her down, when she's relaxed and be honest with her. First confront her about your sexual urges, and then tell her what you have done. Then you take it from there.
If she leaves you, don't act surprised.
I have never cheated on anyone before. I have never done anything like this. I know that what I did was selfish and irresponsible. I'm going to doing right thing for my family. I agree with you completely. What did was cruel and I will take accountablity for my actions. I thank you for being honest.

“Get over it!”

Level 1

Since: Mar 09

NEW YORK CITY

#15 Sep 10, 2009
RealTalk1550 wrote:
<quoted text> I have never cheated on anyone before. I have never done anything like this. I know that what I did was selfish and irresponsible. I'm going to doing right thing for my family. I agree with you completely. What did was cruel and I will take accountablity for my actions. I thank you for being honest.
you better not tell that pregnant girlfriend of yours nothing! KEEP YOUR BIG MOUTH SHUT! stop sleeping with that other chick and take that to your grave. it will eat at you but some things are better left unsaid. if you tell her she will make your life a living hell and will never truly and fully forgive you. listen to me. LEAVE IT ALONE. you did it, now keep it moving.

“Engaged :)”

Since: Aug 07

Windsor, UK

#16 Sep 10, 2009
RealTalk1550 wrote:
<quoted text> I have never cheated on anyone before. I have never done anything like this. I know that what I did was selfish and irresponsible. I'm going to doing right thing for my family. I agree with you completely. What did was cruel and I will take accountablity for my actions. I thank you for being honest.
Its alright babe. I know some guys personally who have been in the same situation as you. I won't rub it in anymore, but you really gotta think about what you are gonna do:

1. You keep quiet and hopefully she doesn't find out.
2. You tell the co worker it's over and she gets you fired or tells your girl about you and her.
3. You tell your girl and she leaves you.
4. You tell your girl and she forgives you, but tension arises in the relationship.

I mean if I was pregnant and I refused my man of sex, and he cheated on me, I COULD understand, BUT I would be INCREDIBLY hurt.

Just hope your co worker knows how to keep secrets or isn't a horrible woman. If she likes you a lot, she might try to break your girls heart because i have been in situations where I have been cheated on and the woman who had the affair with my man, told me to my face like it was nothing.

Since: Jun 09

Washington, DC

#17 Sep 10, 2009
_Clyde_ wrote:
Why?
End the affair and keep you mouth shut. You want to relive your guilt. Buy your Girlfriend a $1000 purse. You will feel a lot better.
People who want to tell do it for selfish reasons. You may have some internal hatred for your Girlfriend, and want to see her suffer. So if that is the case. Then break up with her, and take care of the child.
ps. I hope your co-worker is cool. Because you may loose your job too.
Clyde I wish it was that easy. Let me explain to you what exactly is going on. My sisters husband's brother works with me. He told his brother what I was doing and he turned around and told my sister. My girl and my sister grew up together. They are best friends. Knowing my sister I'm certain that this thing will come out sooner rather than later. That is why I'm so worried.

I wish I could just keep this a secret. But I'm certain that my sister will find a way to (directly or indirecly) snitch on me. I'm sure she's on phone right talking about me like a dog. That is all does well is talk about people and start confusion.

I do agree with you. I need end this side relationship and focus and repairing mine after all the damage. I think buying her a gift might soften the blow.

ps. My co worker is a really cool chick.

Since: Jun 09

Washington, DC

#18 Sep 10, 2009
shutup if you can help it wrote:
ur already a horrible father! yay!!!!! most guys aren't that mean
I'm not a horrible person, nor will I be a horrible father. I made a mistake and that's all.

“Engaged :)”

Since: Aug 07

Windsor, UK

#19 Sep 10, 2009
RealTalk1550 wrote:
<quoted text> Clyde I wish it was that easy. Let me explain to you what exactly is going on. My sisters husband's brother works with me. He told his brother what I was doing and he turned around and told my sister. My girl and my sister grew up together. They are best friends. Knowing my sister I'm certain that this thing will come out sooner rather than later. That is why I'm so worried.
I wish I could just keep this a secret. But I'm certain that my sister will find a way to (directly or indirecly) snitch on me. I'm sure she's on phone right talking about me like a dog. That is all does well is talk about people and start confusion.
I do agree with you. I need end this side relationship and focus and repairing mine after all the damage. I think buying her a gift might soften the blow.
ps. My co worker is a really cool chick.
damn, your sister sounds like mine. Her best friend comes before any brother of hers lol Friendship wise that is. I hope you have learnt your lesson. I know this is hard for you, but think about your girlfriend. She's completely oblivious to your affair and all the big plans she had for you both might come tumbling down because of you wanting to get your d*ck wet (I know i sounds really harsh...but I hate hearing these scenarios)

But, I feel for you still. Everything that happens in the dark comes to the light. Whether it days, week, months or years. Hopefully she'll listen to you when you confront her...if she ever finds out.

Since: Jun 09

Washington, DC

#20 Sep 10, 2009
Yeah its CEE CEE wrote:
<quoted text>
you better not tell that pregnant girlfriend of yours nothing! KEEP YOUR BIG MOUTH SHUT! stop sleeping with that other chick and take that to your grave. it will eat at you but some things are better left unsaid. if you tell her she will make your life a living hell and will never truly and fully forgive you. listen to me. LEAVE IT ALONE. you did it, now keep it moving.
I really don't want to tell her. I just don't want her to hear this from somebody else. I want people to read this to understand that I'm very proud of my beautiful ebony princess. I think these last couple months we have made a lot progress in our relationship. She does everything I ask of her. She's doing things for me now that she wouldn't have done a year ago. I love her and appreciate all of the things that she does to make me happy. So understand that I do not want to go and have to tell her that I betrayed her.

Since: Jun 09

Washington, DC

#21 Sep 10, 2009
EastLDNgyal wrote:
<quoted text>damn, your sister sounds like mine. Her best friend comes before any brother of hers lol Friendship wise that is. I hope you have learnt your lesson. I know this is hard for you, but think about your girlfriend. She's completely oblivious to your affair and all the big plans she had for you both might come tumbling down because of you wanting to get your d*ck wet (I know i sounds really harsh...but I hate hearing these scenarios)
But, I feel for you still. Everything that happens in the dark comes to the light. Whether it days, week, months or years. Hopefully she'll listen to you when you confront her...if she ever finds out.
I'm going try to see could I cut a deal with my sister. I'm also going to try to see could I talk to my mother and father and see could they get this drama queen to mind her own business. But one way or the other I'm going to fight for my relationship.

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