How to help dark skinned Black girl

How to help dark skinned Black girl

Posted in the African-American Forum

“Bow Chika Wow Wow”

Level 4

Since: Sep 12

Location hidden

#1 Jun 2, 2013
Hi, so I've been talking to this 16 year old Black girl who is very dark skinned and she's feeling insecure because she says that guys don't like dark skinned Black girls. She says she sees it in the media, and at her high school, the guys are just rude to her or act like she's less than others because she is dark skinned.

I don't know what to say to her though. I'm Black myself, and I've never had that problem with guys, but I'm not very dark skinned. I've never dealt with this issue, where I can't relate to someone and I have no idea what to say to make her feel better other than "just ignore them" but that sounds silly. I know it would be hard to ignore people when you're dealing with it EVERYWHERE in the media, in real life and when you just want someone to realize you're an equal person like anyone else. I don't want her to feel bad, and I don't want any other darker girls to feel bad, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't noticed it myself. People, especially men, are racist and many are jerks about it these days, even Black men at this point. I don't understand how society is so blind to this, a woman being dark is no different than a woman being light. There is no "femininity" or "masculinity" tied to either one biologically, or any genetic ugly gene associated with one or the other, that's just ignorant and pathetic to even assume that. There is a social stigma attached to one, and a high social class attached to the other, that is ALL, but if people don't acknowledge this, especially Black men, then we can't begin to change anything. I'm starting to wonder if Black men even want to change this at all.

Black women, no matter what skin shade we are, are all just women like any other race. I don't get why that's difficult for others to just admit, but when 16 year old Black girls around the world have to feel inferior every day and nobody even questions it, then there is a problem, and it's not with these girls, it's with others, 100%, so ... it leaves me speechless. i don't know what to say to this girl, she doesn't deserve what she's experiencing at all.. so, what do I do?

“Bow Chika Wow Wow”

Level 4

Since: Sep 12

Location hidden

#2 Jun 2, 2013
People will ignore this, but it's a very real topic that should be addressed.
Start A discussion

Pittsburgh, PA

#3 Jun 2, 2013
I think for the most part any women any race has to be attractive features and body wise I dont think

anyone would turn this down https://www.google.com/search...

for this

https://www.google.com/search...

so it just comes down to face body up keep of ones self and no one likes insecure women on top of that
Allian

Howell, MI

#4 Jun 2, 2013
she should date a white guy..
Allian

Howell, MI

#5 Jun 2, 2013
oh is she ugly or something??
terrelle

United States

#6 Jun 2, 2013
Idk what's going on with other black men. but i prefer dark skin women over light skin women. I understand the misery that dark skin black women are going through and i be trying to defend black women myself too. I try and ignore the hurtful ones who degrade black men. and i think Im doing a good job. I don't get how a dark skin man could be so cruel to women who look just like them while they uplift women of other races who looks nothing like them. How could they even value themselves and degrade women who looks just like them? And uplift women who looks like the men that they claim to not even like? that's retarded. you don't ever see white men degrading white women. White degrade black women more than they degrade white women. And that's smart. Its not right but its smart to degrade another race of females other than your own. These females in your race looks just like you. Some black men are self haters actually.

“.”

Level 6

Since: Feb 10

.

#7 Jun 2, 2013
Truth is if a person doesn't like themselves, no one ever will.
madblackwoman198 5

Seattle, WA

#8 Jun 3, 2013
PinkPearl wrote:
Hi, so I've been talking to this 16 year old Black girl who is very dark skinned and she's feeling insecure because she says that guys don't like dark skinned Black girls. She says she sees it in the media, and at her high school, the guys are just rude to her or act like she's less than others because she is dark skinned.
I don't know what to say to her though. I'm Black myself, and I've never had that problem with guys, but I'm not very dark skinned. I've never dealt with this issue, where I can't relate to someone and I have no idea what to say to make her feel better other than "just ignore them" but that sounds silly. I know it would be hard to ignore people when you're dealing with it EVERYWHERE in the media, in real life and when you just want someone to realize you're an equal person like anyone else. I don't want her to feel bad, and I don't want any other darker girls to feel bad, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't noticed it myself. People, especially men, are racist and many are jerks about it these days, even Black men at this point. I don't understand how society is so blind to this, a woman being dark is no different than a woman being light. There is no "femininity" or "masculinity" tied to either one biologically, or any genetic ugly gene associated with one or the other, that's just ignorant and pathetic to even assume that. There is a social stigma attached to one, and a high social class attached to the other, that is ALL, but if people don't acknowledge this, especially Black men, then we can't begin to change anything. I'm starting to wonder if Black men even want to change this at all.
Black women, no matter what skin shade we are, are all just women like any other race. I don't get why that's difficult for others to just admit, but when 16 year old Black girls around the world have to feel inferior every day and nobody even questions it, then there is a problem, and it's not with these girls, it's with others, 100%, so ... it leaves me speechless. i don't know what to say to this girl, she doesn't deserve what she's experiencing at all.. so, what do I do?
Tell her to be strong and to love her dark-skinned,cause it's really a blessing in diguise. Also,she should learn to ignore ignorant people,especially the males,cause those are the ones who are going to be disrespectful to her anyway no matter what color her skin is. I use to get teased and still kind of do for my dark skin put i just ignore the stupidity of a**hols,and love myself for how god made me.
The Truth Is

Smyrna, TN

#9 Jun 6, 2013
You can be any shade and still look like a yaehoo. lol And as far as a very dark complected Black woman, If you're speaking of a pretty one, she's the most beautiful woman in the world. No brag, just fact.
Calissa

Bristol, UK

#10 Jun 6, 2013
Help her with a make-over, it's clearly more than skin-tone. She's 16 so I expect her to be a little awkward anyway maybe this is what is causing her more issues. In the USA I am not surprised she is feeling a little insecure because many of you black Americans think you're being funny when you make skin tone jokes when in fact it's nonproductive and very immature.

It's really impossible it seems for some people to look outside their skin tone to realise certain things such as whether people like you or attracted to you has nothing to do with skin tone but personality and your behavior. The envy she is feeling of others is because in some ways she's oblivious to the fact that they too might have issues but she only sees her own life as pain and theirs as perfect when if she could step back and realise that they to might have problems and maybe her life is not so bad or that everyone has something they are concerned about, then she would stop being so self-absorbed and get on in life and attract decent people around her. Anyway you can't live your life in fear, embrace who you are.
bigblackguy14

Waller, TX

#12 Jul 8, 2013
madblackwoman1985 wrote:
<quoted text>and love myself for how god made me.
i'll love you as well beautiful

“me! chee hoo! LOL!”

Level 6

Since: Oct 09

New Zealand

#13 Jul 8, 2013
PinkPearl wrote:
People will ignore this, but it's a very real topic that should be addressed.
i like to meet her.. Wheres her face book address.
KingsloveQueens

San Mateo, CA

#15 Jul 8, 2013
women are vain and put to much value on looks this is why it's easy for voltures and cut throats to manipulate and destroy all good in women..Tell her to grow up and learn how to value her mind and stop wishing to be a booty call (=

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

African-American Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 2 min SOS 1,418,448
why are latinos racist towards blacks now? (Jan '08) 5 min Fake 419
News What does 'diversity' mean to you? The answer m... (Aug '14) 5 min Drilling for the ... 28
How many times must blacks bring cave people ou... (Feb '15) 14 min Drilling for the ... 5
News Trump calls on GOP to improve African-American ... 14 min Lawrence Wolf 322
Decent Law Abiding Christian White Folk 25 min Andrew 1
Why do blacks claim North Africans as black? 26 min Who 55
Why aren't there any Negroes in the Bible? 52 min Child of Israel 498
Trump will carry atleast 25% of the BLACK VOTE 1 hr fluer 237
the moors were black africans not arabs!!! (Jun '08) 5 hr Moses 47,847
More from around the web