Black Men Dont Like "Strong Black Women"

Black Men Dont Like "Strong Black Women"

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“Get Your Mind Right.”

Since: Jan 08

Peckham,London

#1 Jan 28, 2008
When a black man marries or is seen with a white woman the first thing majority of black women say is he can't handle a “strong black woman". That’s right he can’t hence the reason why 70% of African American women are single. Black men don’t want a "strong black women" because this kind of black woman is the one that will always talk back, always question you, always mouth off when it’s totally unnecessary and basically try to treat you like one of her friends. Don’t get me wrong there's nothing wrong with been assertive and confident but sometimes black women go too far with this "strong black woman" crap. Black men run off with white girls because so to speak they let them be "the man". This is a general point because I can already see people dropping replies like "but am not like that" "you don’t know my situation". White women don’t constantly try to test them or try to prove they are as "strong" as they are, they are more submissive,, this might be a controversial thing to say but black men and men in general prefer submissive women because it makes them feel on top and massages there egos. Submissive women are the most desirable and since this is a trait apparently most black women lack this could be described as one of the major reasons why a high percentage of black women are single. Me personally I usually go for the shy cute black girls because they reflect my personality and usually stay away from the flashy ones because I find them annoying rather than undesirable. My point is if black women IN GENERAL value been feminine and submissive as much as they value been strong and assertive maybe those brothers that ran of with those white women might start coming back.

Once again I must stress I am making a general point and not trying to say black women are not feminine because they are I should know I have only ever been out with black women.

Your views and opinions are welcomed as usual.

Sp,,

Since: Dec 07

Chesterfield, MO

#2 Jan 28, 2008
I kinda agree with everything you said most black women i know view being submissive as demeaning or degrading.

When that is totally not the case, but i put up with it because i love them to much.
MDJ

Since: Apr 07

Location hidden

#3 Jan 28, 2008
Black women, should be strong, so we can survive in this violent, and fcked up society. For me it's about survival. Now i love and honor black men. But as a black woman, i will not kiss there azz for there love. Because they had a couple of bad relationships, with black women. Hell, cry me a river, because i have stories to tell about my relationships with brothers.

All this is saying....is they want someone who is weak. And not all white women are weak and damn sure don't want to hear the same ole excuse about being submissive. I mean WTF? What about Love and Respect, Compatability, Compromise, and being Attentive.

And you can talk that same ole BS, about black men choosing non black wome for this reason. BUT THE GRASS WILL NEVER BE GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE BECAUSE A WOMAN IS A WOMAN!

I laugh, because when i watch these judge shows. And what do i/you see? White women sueing Black men or Black men using White women or White women who are married to celebs, take them for half. It just shows, it not better, it only different. Wake Up People!!!!!

I so loved myself. I can never say........i want a white man to be submissive to me. I mean, WTF! And there are some bossy azz white girls. You better stop sleeping on white women. Not all white women put up with black men schitt.

Black People, love yourself, your race, your men and your women. When you praise other races, how do you think they view you? Like a damn, self hating, oppressed fool!

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Just me

Waco, TX

#5 Jan 28, 2008
i have to agree with the last post...especially thea women is a women part...dont get it wrong just cuz a non black women dont seem bossy to u...i can garunatee u that almost always she is the boss...but thats a women thing period...i mean we do handle a lot more and better than men do...regardless of race...a women has to be strong and bossy...to get anywhere in life...i do agree that if u wanna be a respectable women than u dont need to cuss like a sailor thats just very unattractive..again regardless of race i know some white chicks that cuss every 2seconds its so disgusting...but hey...u do u i do me thats what i think!!!
I do agree that sometimes u gotta let a men think he is the boss and let them take the lead for once especially in public...men need that for their egos....

“Get Your Mind Right.”

Since: Jan 08

Peckham,London

#6 Jan 28, 2008
MDJ wrote:
Black women, should be strong, so we can survive in this violent, and fcked up society. For me it's about survival. Now i love and honor black men. But as a black woman, i will not kiss there azz for there love. Because they had a couple of bad relationships, with black women. Hell, cry me a river, because i have stories to tell about my relationships with brothers.
All this is saying....is they want someone who is weak. And not all white women are weak and damn sure don't want to hear the same ole excuse about being submissive. I mean WTF? What about Love and Respect, Compatability, Compromise, and being Attentive.
And you can talk that same ole BS, about black men choosing non black wome for this reason. BUT THE GRASS WILL NEVER BE GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE BECAUSE A WOMAN IS A WOMAN!
I laugh, because when i watch these judge shows. And what do i/you see? White women sueing Black men or Black men using White women or White women who are married to celebs, take them for half. It just shows, it not better, it only different. Wake Up People!!!!!
I so loved myself. I can never say........i want a white man to be submissive to me. I mean, WTF! And there are some bossy azz white girls. You better stop sleeping on white women. Not all white women put up with black men schitt.
Black People, love yourself, your race, your men and your women. When you praise other races, how do you think they view you? Like a damn, self hating, oppressed fool!
I used white women as an example and not as the accepted standard. And even though I purposely stated I was speaking in general terms you still went on and missed the point completely.
MDJ

Since: Apr 07

Location hidden

#7 Jan 28, 2008
Sp_ThaGhostt wrote:
<quoted text>
I used white women as an example and not as the accepted standard. And even though I purposely stated I was speaking in general terms you still went on and missed the point completely.
Huh? It does'nt matter what race of women you used. You were specific enough. And i did'nt miss the point at all! I stated, my opinion of it. Maybe, you're saying this because it seems like i did'nt 100% agree with you when i only responded with my own GENERALIZATION, as you say.....

And you generalized, about white women as your example. And i took from that..........any by the way. White women, are the excepted standard......is it not???......or this thread would not have been created.
MDJ

Since: Apr 07

Location hidden

#8 Jan 28, 2008
Sp_ThaGhostt wrote:
<quoted text>
I used white women as an example and not as the accepted standard. And even though I purposely stated I was speaking in general terms you still went on and missed the point completely.
Keep in mind. I'm merely, stating my individual opinion.

Since: Nov 07

Urban Decay

#9 Jan 28, 2008
I find STG to be an angry person, most of his posts are anger-ridden, apart from the awards one, I quite liked that one, it brought a refreshing atmosphere with it and that's because you were not even posting.mmmmh????

You are abrasive and your responses are all about lashing out.

How do you expect a woman even if she's the most submissive person (white or black), to remain positive in the face of your unfriendly demeanor.

You can't expect respect without giving it.

What you are doing is not different from what Sadbuttrue is doing, she comes here to tell us how much more organized white men are, therefore "black men, adjust yourself accordingly".

There's no black guy on this forum that likes that. Black women like me do NOT like it because that's a fallacious statement, as I personally know fantastic and upstanding black men.

Then you come here telling us how better categorically white women are and you expect us to go "mmmh! brother, you know you are soo right".

Right on this same forum, a black guy was telling me to curse a guy out who was disrespectful to me, and I'm like hold on! I thought that was the very same thing you guys say you don't like about us, NOW I HAVE TO DO IT. mmmm???

You might argue, well as long they are not cursing me, ha! Women that possess the affinity for cursing any guy out, I tell you all it requires is a little slip and they are cursing YOU their man out.

When that happens you come on Topix making threads about how confrontational black women are.

Most of the response women make to your posts are angry responses because you write things without thought as to how it will come out, you are not blunt, you lack tact in your writing, it's all about presentation.

Tha Ghost, I am not telling you how to live your life, you are a grown man, I would like you to try something, just for a change, when you respond to people's post or you make an independent post like the one above,
Try making it without emotions, negative emotions, Try making it without being angry,
Ty making it without your sword in your hand,
Try making it without your automatic rifle cocked.

Try it and maybe you will get a positive response from women on this forum.

White women?????? dude! I don't think you know white women, I have tonnes of them as friends, don't know why but they take to me.

Let me school you on white women, YES! a white woman might not curse you out or become confrontational because she has not had to deal with being put down constantly by her man, society, race and family, so YES most of them are emotionally healthy.
Hey! The whole world venerates her physical characteristics and it is good for her self-esteem.

Dude, I see some of the brothers with a bad attitude run to them, these women will not say a word to you, by the time she gets tired of your a$$, she might leave you a note that she's gone, or if she chooses to go for your jugular, she takes your a$$ to court.

A white woman is not better than a black woman, we can both learn from each other. Geez! we copy each other, some black women (not me) want straight hair, some white women get botox to get my kinda booty and lips so go figure!!!

It isn't about being submissive, there is no woman on this planet that will not respond to kind words, try it and she will give it back to you. and if the woman does not respond back in kind words, sir! what you will do for yourself is to stay away from her.

Since: Nov 07

Urban Decay

#10 Jan 28, 2008
MDJ wrote:
Black women, should be strong, so we can survive in this violent, and fcked up society. For me it's about survival. Now i love and honor black men. But as a black woman, i will not kiss there azz for there love. Because they had a couple of bad relationships, with black women. Hell, cry me a river, because i have stories to tell about my relationships with brothers.
All this is saying....is they want someone who is weak. And not all white women are weak and damn sure don't want to hear the same ole excuse about being submissive. I mean WTF? What about Love and Respect, Compatability, Compromise, and being Attentive.
And you can talk that same ole BS, about black men choosing non black wome for this reason. BUT THE GRASS WILL NEVER BE GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE BECAUSE A WOMAN IS A WOMAN!
I laugh, because when i watch these judge shows. And what do i/you see? White women sueing Black men or Black men using White women or White women who are married to celebs, take them for half. It just shows, it not better, it only different. Wake Up People!!!!!
I so loved myself. I can never say........i want a white man to be submissive to me. I mean, WTF! And there are some bossy azz white girls. You better stop sleeping on white women. Not all white women put up with black men schitt.
Black People, love yourself, your race, your men and your women. When you praise other races, how do you think they view you? Like a damn, self hating, oppressed fool!
I agree!

“Get Your Mind Right.”

Since: Jan 08

Peckham,London

#12 Jan 28, 2008
Flycity wrote:
I find STG to be an angry person, most of his posts are anger-ridden, apart from the awards one, I quite liked that one, it brought a refreshing atmosphere with it and that's because you were not even posting.mmmmh????
You are abrasive and your responses are all about lashing out.
How do you expect a woman even if she's the most submissive person (white or black), to remain positive in the face of your unfriendly demeanor.
You can't expect respect without giving it.
What you are doing is not different from what Sadbuttrue is doing, she comes here to tell us how much more organized white men are, therefore "black men, adjust yourself accordingly".
There's no black guy on this forum that likes that. Black women like me do NOT like it because that's a fallacious statement, as I personally know fantastic and upstanding black men.
Then you come here telling us how better categorically white women are and you expect us to go "mmmh! brother, you know you are soo right".
Right on this same forum, a black guy was telling me to curse a guy out who was disrespectful to me, and I'm like hold on! I thought that was the very same thing you guys say you don't like about us, NOW I HAVE TO DO IT. mmmm???
You might argue, well as long they are not cursing me, ha! Women that possess the affinity for cursing any guy out, I tell you all it requires is a little slip and they are cursing YOU their man out.
When that happens you come on Topix making threads about how confrontational black women are.
Most of the response women make to your posts are angry responses because you write things without thought as to how it will come out, you are not blunt, you lack tact in your writing, it's all about presentation.
Tha Ghost, I am not telling you how to live your life, you are a grown man, I would like you to try something, just for a change, when you respond to people's post or you make an independent post like the one above,
Try making it without emotions, negative emotions, Try making it without being angry,
Ty making it without your sword in your hand,
Try making it without your automatic rifle cocked.
Try it and maybe you will get a positive response from women on this forum.
White women?????? dude! I don't think you know white women, I have tonnes of them as friends, don't know why but they take to me.
Let me school you on white women, YES! a white woman might not curse you out or become confrontational because she has not had to deal with being put down constantly by her man, society, race and family, so YES most of them are emotionally healthy.
A white woman is not better than a black woman, we can both learn from each other. Geez!
That whole post was total garbage. And like I predicted people are completely missing the point. In your case you've taken this opportunity to attack me personally. I was merely trying to highlight the fact that black women value this "strong woman" behaviour too much. This post is not about me and I personally don't have a problem with this "strong black women" as I regularly stay away from them but merely portraying what black men say to me when they have problems with black women. And how the hell can you compare me to sadbuttrue. When did I say white women are better than black women,,and when have you heard me complain about women on this forum?? they are entitled to their opinions and if i disagree I will let them know and vise versa. I lash out on people when they say stupid things or try to insult me like you just did.You shouldn't be giving advice to people unless your actually willing to follow your own. Next time you feel an urge to offer your "words of wisdom" save it for someone else.

“Get Your Mind Right.”

Since: Jan 08

Peckham,London

#13 Jan 28, 2008
MDJ wrote:
<quoted text>
Huh? It does'nt matter what race of women you used. You were specific enough. And i did'nt miss the point at all! I stated, my opinion of it. Maybe, you're saying this because it seems like i did'nt 100% agree with you when i only responded with my own GENERALIZATION, as you say.....
And you generalized, about white women as your example. And i took from that..........any by the way. White women, are the excepted standard......is it not???......or this thread would not have been created.
I used the "accepted" not "excepted". This thread would have been created regardless. The post you replied with was very defensive when it need not have been hence the reason I said you missed the point not because you didn’t “100%“agree with me, that’s immaterial having an eloquent and articulate debate about this is more important..
Lovable1

Henderson, TN

#14 Jan 28, 2008
Jawga Boy wrote:
All females are basically the same.
They want to be in charge.
They use sex as a way to get what they want.
How did Sampson get a "haircut"?
Messing with a woman, and Adam, same thing.
The other crap about black vs white, is just that....crap!
I look too good to use sex to get what I want. No freebies here, but I understand.

“"Ridding the world of dummies"”

Since: Jan 08

"The District"

#15 Jan 28, 2008
WHAT REAL MAN WOULD WANT A WEAK-MINDED WOMAN? I NEED A STRONG WOMAN IN MY LIFE. I THINK THE PROBLEM IS CONFUSING STRENGTH WITH NEGATIVITY.

Level 1

Since: Jan 08

Location hidden

#16 Jan 28, 2008
Actually, strong Black Women are the most difficult to love. The constant screaming, yelling, and assumption making can get on any man's nerves-and therefore the man can either put up with the African American mentalities, or just simply leave. I myself a single Black Man cannot deal with Black Women. To tell you the truth, I fear for my life. They're crazy. I don't want to end up dead or taken advantage of. So the cure for this, is to become an island. Every man deserves his freedom. I'd rather die than to be controlled by an egoticstical, assumption making Black Woman.

Since: Nov 07

Urban Decay

#17 Jan 28, 2008
Sp_ThaGhostt wrote:
<quoted text>
That whole post was total garbage. And like I predicted people are completely missing the point. In your case you've taken this opportunity to attack me personally. I was merely trying to highlight the fact that black women value this "strong woman" behaviour too much. This post is not about me and I personally don't have a problem with this "strong black women" as I regularly stay away from them but merely portraying what black men say to me when they have problems with black women. And how the hell can you compare me to sadbuttrue. When did I say white women are better than black women,,and when have you heard me complain about women on this forum?? they are entitled to their opinions and if i disagree I will let them know and vise versa. I lash out on people when they say stupid things or try to insult me like you just did.You shouldn't be giving advice to people unless your actually willing to follow your own. Next time you feel an urge to offer your "words of wisdom" save it for someone else.
Next time you want a positive remark from people, try and make sure your posts are anger-free.
raptor8154

Gainesville, FL

#18 Jan 28, 2008
Sp_ThaGhostt wrote:
<quoted text>
I used white women as an example and not as the accepted standard. And even though I purposely stated I was speaking in general terms you still went on and missed the point completely.
They always miss the point completely.

Man after man has told these women that being a "strong black women" is ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE for relationships. But they never listen.

They think they have it all figured out, so let them be. You cannot change the ones who already have this mindset, don't even waste your time. By telling these ladies the truth, their only response will be personal attacks on you.

When I first joined this board, I was like you. Because I love black women, I so desperately wanted to tell them how they are destroying themselves. But they didn't want to listen, AT ALL. After some time, I just gave up and shook my head.

Hopefully they will come around, but it seems very unlikely.
MDJ

Since: Apr 07

Location hidden

#19 Jan 28, 2008
Sp_ThaGhostt wrote:
<quoted text>
I used the "accepted" not "excepted". This thread would have been created regardless. The post you replied with was very defensive when it need not have been hence the reason I said you missed the point not because you didn’t “100%“agree with me, that’s immaterial having an eloquent and articulate debate about this is more important..
This is not Shakespeare! Oh, god! That's the problem! You thought i was being defensive! But it's reality, and it's my own opinion. And don't go there about being articulate, and eloquent. When originally, you're talking the same Bullschitt, we as black women have to hear everyday.

My comment was clear, cut, and dry, and real. And i made my point, and i did it very well at getting my point across. Whether it came off as defensive or not......we as black women have to defend ourselves and how we look at situations about ourselves.

You people never think for one second how a comment would make us feel, no matter how you try and candy coat it.

And when we address it. We hear the same ole BS! You're defensive, your aggressive, you have attitude, you're angry, yada, yada, yada! What did you expect.

ECR

Since: Jan 07

Washington, DC

#20 Jan 28, 2008
Sp_ThaGhostt wrote:
When a black man marries or is seen with a white woman the first thing majority of black women say is he can't handle a “strong black woman". That’s right he can’t hence the reason why 70% of African American women are single. Black men don’t want a "strong black women" because this kind of black woman is the one that will always talk back, always question you, always mouth off when it’s totally unnecessary and basically try to treat you like one of her friends. Don’t get me wrong there's nothing wrong with been assertive and confident but sometimes black women go too far with this "strong black woman" crap. Black men run off with white girls because so to speak they let them be "the man". This is a general point because I can already see people dropping replies like "but am not like that" "you don’t know my situation". White women don’t constantly try to test them or try to prove they are as "strong" as they are, they are more submissive,, this might be a controversial thing to say but black men and men in general prefer submissive women because it makes them feel on top and massages there egos. Submissive women are the most desirable and since this is a trait apparently most black women lack this could be described as one of the major reasons why a high percentage of black women are single. Me personally I usually go for the shy cute black girls because they reflect my personality and usually stay away from the flashy ones because I find them annoying rather than undesirable. My point is if black women IN GENERAL value been feminine and submissive as much as they value been strong and assertive maybe those brothers that ran of with those white women might start coming back.
Once again I must stress I am making a general point and not trying to say black women are not feminine because they are I should know I have only ever been out with black women.
Your views and opinions are welcomed as usual.
Sp,,
I would never knock anyone for being strong. However, I think some people are misguided about what strength truly is (kinda like how some people don’t understand the difference between being compassionate and a doormat) and how to express it. All in all, I think a lot of “us”(black men and women) have been put on the defensive throughout our lives and are constantly on a mission to prove something to ourselves and others. As a result, a lot of folks take well-intended “strength” and/or “confidence” and wind up going off the deep end. I’m all for people championing their own interests, but every situation isn’t going to be a battle zone and not everyone should be treated as an enemy combatant.

ECR

Since: Jan 07

Washington, DC

#21 Jan 28, 2008
raptor8154 wrote:
<quoted text>
They always miss the point completely.
Man after man has told these women that being a "strong black women" is ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE for relationships. But they never listen.
They think they have it all figured out, so let them be. You cannot change the ones who already have this mindset, don't even waste your time. By telling these ladies the truth, their only response will be personal attacks on you.
When I first joined this board, I was like you. Because I love black women, I so desperately wanted to tell them how they are destroying themselves. But they didn't want to listen, AT ALL. After some time, I just gave up and shook my head.
Hopefully they will come around, but it seems very unlikely.
There’s nothing wrong with being a “strong” black woman (just like there’s nothing wrong with being a “confident” black man). The problem is that some people don’t know when to step off the war path. I know a lot of BW have been hurt and want to shield themselves. However, I think the solution to problem lies in taking time to get to know someone before getting “close” to them, not approaching every man and situation the same way. I wouldn’t advocate that anyone walk through the world with rose-colored glasses and an unwavering blissful grin on their face, but many BW don’t realize that there ARE men (and not just BM) out there who aren’t looking to take advantage of and hurt them.

“Want to touch my fro?”

Level 2

Since: Nov 07

Small town, Ohio

#22 Jan 28, 2008
Oh come on! From a woman's POV Flycity's post was spot on. I've read several of your comments and one thing you must remember is that if you want a woman to listen to the essence of what you're saying, then you have to learn the art of speaking to a woman. I asked another topix member about the last time he was able to "tell a woman about herself" and have her not become defensive and the same applies to you. It's not so much what you say, but how you say it and honestly your manner of speaking is keeping anything good you may have to say from registering with the women here. Also if you want to tell women how we need to act then you have to give equal time to the brothers. It's easy to point out what someone else is doing wrong, but it's much harder to look at ourselves. Reread some of your previous posts and then revisit Fly's comment.

That being said, I do agree with your original post to a certain extent. I have always said that I would have no problem submitting to a man in whom I had the utmost respect and trust. My mother is a strong woman who was active in the civil rights movement. She met a married my father almost 40 years ago. Though they have had their spats through the years, the issue was never my mother trying to "rule the house". My family has a history of long, successful marriages and no matter what the women achieved educationally or financially they all knew the art of being a lady and letting a man be a man.

I have been to the family reunion of one of my girlfriends and was very surprised when I noticed how few men were present. There were male children, but very few adult men. As I spoke to her family members, I noticed that there were 3 generations of women in that family who had raised and who were currently raising children alone. My girlfriend, who is the current generation has the hardest time negotiating her romantic relationships. Where would she have learned the art? She's never actually seen a well-functioning relationship in real life.

A few years ago we had the "I don't need a man" conversation and she was as shocked by my response as I was of hers. She said she didn't need a man and that she was satisfied with her friendships and her career. I, on the other hand, expressed the fact that "I don't need a man" to take care of me, but I DO need a man who WANTS to take care of me. I am a woman who craves male energy.(I don't mean sex) I have had positive relationships with men my entire life, starting with my father. I need the male perspective in my life and the beautiful balance that occurs when a man and woman can be in sync on a physical, intellectual, or emotional level. Many women cannot relate to this because they have not seen or experienced it. That is the heart of your problem. Black women will never be more "submissive" until we trust men enough to let go of the tough girl image. And also there need to be more men who are deserving of this trust.

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