i hate my boyfriend son. help!

“Caramel LADY Female US Soldier”

Since: Nov 07

Saint Louis

#128 Dec 11, 2007
carolina vago wrote:
i hate a boyfriend(vu chu) he s tired to play with me . i wont be a boyfriends with a vu chu and he s whining and never stop.....please someone help me !!
wdh??? u HATE A BOYFRIED AND hes to tired to play with you and you wont be a boyfriends with a vu chu? What is a VU CHU? What are you saying? Im lost

“Bright side”

Since: Nov 07

London and Cameroon

#129 Dec 11, 2007
I have lived in Africa,and I must admit their method is sometimes really harsh in a child upbringing,but what I admire is the respect they have,if two kids are fighting and they see an elderly person coming,whether they know him or not they stop fighting.And a kid of 9 even dares insult an older person,it serious punishment.Anyways I just think the child is spoilt already,either you accept and bare all the consequences or move on,If I was in your case I will move on,

Since: Nov 07

Urban Decay

#130 Dec 11, 2007
Girrrrrrrrrrrl! It aint gonna get better. If it's taking too much from you, babes take my advice, WALK, let the woman who has the extra energy to deal with somebody else's hard headed child do it.
Anton

London, UK

#131 Dec 11, 2007
This is stupid,howcan you attackher,i hate spoiledkids too,i would never have one,i believe in smacking kidsanyway. If your boyfriend doesn't listen then you shouldmove on and find someone new because you have to remember children are the most important.
Autumn

Marietta, GA

#132 Dec 17, 2007
HoneyDipped wrote:
i hate my boyfriend's son.This little boy is 9 yrs old and HARD HEADED. all he does is whine" i want this ,i want that. he is annoying.even my boyfriend mother say "do not bring that boy over here today i am not in the mood". my boyfriend say his son acts like that because of his ex. I love my man dearly but i am ready to walk.
i would walk, i know what its like and its not worth it. you deserve more and a man to yourself
DanaS

New York, NY

#133 Dec 20, 2007
Well, I am in a similar situation. I love my boyfriend and we live together, but he has three kids, all boys, two are 8 and one is 5. He does not have full custody. He gets them on the weekends and holidays and sometimes during the week, bascially, all the good days, I got the raw end of the stick, so no Friday, Saturday parties for me in a while. I can honestly say I that I wish those kids never existed. They are all ADHD and should be heavily medicated as far as I'm concerned. They have problem in schools, always suspended for fighting or getting in trouble. I wish I had money I would send them all to boarding school, Very Very far away!! I don't have kids and at this point I don't think I ever want kids.

“Caramel LADY Female US Soldier”

Since: Nov 07

Saint Louis

#134 Dec 20, 2007
DanaS wrote:
Well, I am in a similar situation. I love my boyfriend and we live together, but he has three kids, all boys, two are 8 and one is 5. He does not have full custody. He gets them on the weekends and holidays and sometimes during the week, bascially, all the good days, I got the raw end of the stick, so no Friday, Saturday parties for me in a while. I can honestly say I that I wish those kids never existed. They are all ADHD and should be heavily medicated as far as I'm concerned. They have problem in schools, always suspended for fighting or getting in trouble. I wish I had money I would send them all to boarding school, Very Very far away!! I don't have kids and at this point I don't think I ever want kids.
WOW to say you wish the kids never existed is very harsh. You will be the step mom from Hell! I advise you to get a new boyfriend ASAP
DanaS

New York, NY

#135 Dec 20, 2007
I'm just being honest. I don't want to be their stepmom, at all. The kids are the only thing that allow me to keep a certain distance from my partner. I always keep in the back of my mind, "I may have to leave soon." I am 24 and my bf is 30. Fortunatley, I don't have "baby mamma drama," but his ex wife (mother of 5 years old) is an annoying loser who is also bi-polar. The other two mothers are just as bad (all three boys have a different mother.)I could never imagine living in this forever!!
nunyabeezwaxUSA

West Lafayette, IN

#136 Dec 20, 2007
Greeneyedsista wrote:
The kid needs his butt beat HOWEVER you are just the GF and I think that's overstepping. Imagine if some other chick (your child's father's GF) put her hands on your child. You need to be married to be able to spank his child and then that's still a murky issue as you are not that child's mother. All parties need to agree on that, including the child's mother. Otherwise you can set rules when he's in your home and his father needs to enforce them. If it's that bad, you may need to move on.
You are the epitome of what I am talking about regarding complete lack of any proper guidance reagarding children OR partners! You use the word "beat" and "putting hands on" and yet what about TALKING TO THE PARTNER ABOUT THE SITUATION. Do you NEED to GET YOUR BUTT BEAT if I don't agree with you or piss you off? WTF does that solve except scare a child into compliance UNTIL S/HE'S OLD ENOUGH for you to call the po-lice and have them removed from the home for threatening the family. Then you can bitch about the violent, racist police force.
nunyabeezwaxUSA

West Lafayette, IN

#137 Dec 20, 2007
HoneyDipped wrote:
i hate my boyfriend's son.This little boy is 9 yrs old and HARD HEADED. all he does is whine" i want this ,i want that. he is annoying.even my boyfriend mother say "do not bring that boy over here today i am not in the mood". my boyfriend say his son acts like that because of his ex. I love my man dearly but i am ready to walk.
First of all, you are the ADULT. If you harbor a negative view of this kid, you will probably express it in some way. "Hate" should NEVER be used to describe your feelings. I am sure he is a complete brat, but where is his mother in all this? Does your boyfriend raise the child? If the child's been abandoned, then why do you think he'd exhibit emotional issues? If his dad has spoiled him (maybe he's finally stopped, but the kid somehow got in the habit of having stuff), then it's going to take time for him to get used to reality. And when children feel distressed, it could manifest in an external way, perhaps with focusing on "things" instead of feelings. WHY IN THE WORLD ARE YOU NOT COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR PARTNER BEFORE EVEN THINKING OF WALKING?! It doesn't sound like you are the most mature person on the planet if this chronic problem is making you want to leave and yet you've never discussed it with him but are coming on here and posting about it! Are you young or if not, do you have a hard time getting close to other people and talking about serious things? If so, you better learn to change that because no matter who you're with, you have to be able to talk about things bothering you!
nunyabeezwaxUSA

West Lafayette, IN

#138 Dec 20, 2007
DanaS wrote:
I'm just being honest. I don't want to be their stepmom, at all. The kids are the only thing that allow me to keep a certain distance from my partner. I always keep in the back of my mind, "I may have to leave soon." I am 24 and my bf is 30. Fortunatley, I don't have "baby mamma drama," but his ex wife (mother of 5 years old) is an annoying loser who is also bi-polar. The other two mothers are just as bad (all three boys have a different mother.)I could never imagine living in this forever!!
Niiice. So the man you have chosen goes out and makes babies with different women and they all just HAPPEN to have ADHD? You don't think that their living situation could be causing it, huh?

If one of the mothers has bipolar, she has a mental illness. Why are you calling her a loser? Especially given your choice in a man? Is he a winner? Are you for being with him?

“Caramel LADY Female US Soldier”

Since: Nov 07

Saint Louis

#139 Dec 20, 2007
DanaS wrote:
I'm just being honest. I don't want to be their stepmom, at all. The kids are the only thing that allow me to keep a certain distance from my partner. I always keep in the back of my mind, "I may have to leave soon." I am 24 and my bf is 30. Fortunatley, I don't have "baby mamma drama," but his ex wife (mother of 5 years old) is an annoying loser who is also bi-polar. The other two mothers are just as bad (all three boys have a different mother.)I could never imagine living in this forever!!
Well then break it off now. He is not going to give up his kids for you. Did you think he would? No man is going to give up their kids for a woman except the real losers. Why are you with him? You know you cant be a step mother and you wont accept his kids so you need to let him go so he can find a woman that will. No use in putting it off you are just wasting your time and his. This is the reason I MUST make it worrk with my husband because if we seperated and he found a woman that spoke about my kids the way you do..Im not even gonna go there. Just leave him and move on
sare

East Saint Louis, IL

#140 Dec 21, 2007
yeah my bf has a nine yr old as well full custody seeing how his mother was murdered in front of him, not only do i deal with a messed up kid but the father still to a point mourns over the dead ex g/f . so yeah your story aint near as bad as mine imagine dealing with all this crap..and get this the kid is part of the package..he dont go to moms..shes dead..ehhhh...just block him out or tell your bf he needs to fix the problem for the kids sake, It sux but it could be as bad as my story..trust me..

“Be about it!”

Level 3

Since: Sep 07

Denver

#141 Dec 21, 2007
Boys are different. I have raised my daughter as a single parent since she was born. Now she's a well balanced teen. Girls tend to listen better and if you back that up by actually doing what you say you're gonna do; that goes a long way. I never knew how big the difference was until my nephew came along. Man, he can be a handful! I really have mad respect for all those single mothers out there raising boys. I just hate to see parents making empty threats to bad ass kids and then never following up. That breeds badness and pain for everyone who comes around them.
Benny

South Africa

#142 Jan 8, 2008
You have to remember that he is just a kid and not an adult like you. My gut feel says you are jerlous. Imagine if your boyfriend felt the same way about your son or daughter. Dont be selfish, get off your high horse and live a little.
Anna

Western Springs, IL

#143 Jan 12, 2008
HoneyDipped wrote:
i hate my boyfriend's son.This little boy is 9 yrs old and HARD HEADED. all he does is whine" i want this ,i want that. he is annoying.even my boyfriend mother say "do not bring that boy over here today i am not in the mood". my boyfriend say his son acts like that because of his ex. I love my man dearly but i am ready to walk.
I think you should walk then - this is how children come up abused or killed. I do not see how whining and being "hard headed" can cause you to hate a 9 year old child - this is what children do. I wonder would you hate your own child if he or she displayed the same behavior has your stepson. Maybe you should have gotten involved with a man who didn't have children. You can't keep this man away from his son regardless of how he behaves. Men and women alike can be so selfish and silly at times - how can you get involved with a person who has kids and just because, you can't get along with them or you hate them for some strange reason, you don't want the parent of the child to have anything to do with them. It sounds like to me you are being indiffrent towards this child not because, of the behavior you just described which is common in all kids, but you probaly have a problem with accepting a child that isn't your own, thus you have conjurded up a irrational excuse to "hate" the child. Do you know that the bible states that any person who hates is a murderer in his/her own heart? Take your walking papers and leave. Find a man who doesn't have kids.
Anna

Western Springs, IL

#144 Jan 12, 2008
Benny wrote:
You have to remember that he is just a kid and not an adult like you. My gut feel says you are jerlous. Imagine if your boyfriend felt the same way about your son or daughter. Dont be selfish, get off your high horse and live a little.
Preach the truth. How can a child "whinning" and misbehaving as she puts it, can cause her to dislike him to the point to where she hates him? She is not being honest with her feelings - she is probaly jealous and doesn't want the stepson around. She knows the way she feels is irrational so in order to validate the way she feels she has to conjure up an excuse to justify this situation. She needs to find a man who does not have a child.
Anna

Western Springs, IL

#145 Jan 12, 2008
I don't see why adults can't just be honest with themselves - they know from the get go that they have a problem with accepting children that are not theirs, yet they go on with the realationship as if somehow the the kids are going to just disappear. At times adults act like they don't have a lick of common sense. If you do not want kids, or if you do not want to deal with other peoples children then do not get in a relationship with people who do. It's that simple.

“Holdin' it down. ”

Since: Jul 07

Cantonment, FL

#146 Jan 12, 2008
I think it's time for him to find another girlfriend.
Anna

Western Springs, IL

#147 Jan 12, 2008
the wrath of karl wrote:
I think it's time for him to find another girlfriend.
I totally agree. In many cases it is a woman who will put a man before her child,but most men will not do the same for a woman. If she doesn't like or can not accept his children she should find a man who does not have children. It's that simple. I think she is jealous which causes her to hate this 9 year old child.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

African-American Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
What is Trump's Immigration Policy? 1 min Sicklecell Supporter 27
News Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 3 min cathy1691823 1,420,276
49er QB Colin Kaepernick is WAKING UP 11 min Sicklecell Supporter 112
153 Years and Still Nothing??? 14 min Sicklecell Supporter 65
Why aren't there any Negroes in the Bible? 16 min Michel Montvert 591
News Trump calls on GOP to improve African-American ... 22 min Michel Montvert 387
Jennifer Lopez - Is she Native American or Afri... (Jul '11) 58 min Who 248
the moors were black africans not arabs!!! (Jun '08) 3 hr Who 47,906
Trump will carry atleast 25% of the BLACK VOTE 8 hr Skiff Azlaan 283
Blue ivy is UGLY!!!! (Jul '13) 11 hr sal 62
More from around the web