i hate my boyfriend son. help!

i hate my boyfriend son. help!

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HoneyDipped

West Hempstead, NY

#1 Feb 16, 2007
i hate my boyfriend's son.This little boy is 9 yrs old and HARD HEADED. all he does is whine" i want this ,i want that. he is annoying.even my boyfriend mother say "do not bring that boy over here today i am not in the mood". my boyfriend say his son acts like that because of his ex. I love my man dearly but i am ready to walk.

Level 1

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#2 Feb 16, 2007
HoneyDipped wrote:
i hate my boyfriend's son.This little boy is 9 yrs old and HARD HEADED. all he does is whine" i want this ,i want that. he is annoying.even my boyfriend mother say "do not bring that boy over here today i am not in the mood". my boyfriend say his son acts like that because of his ex. I love my man dearly but i am ready to walk.
So walk then, because he isn't going anywhere. So either get on with it or move on.
I'm not being mean, just telling the truth. Where you take off another woman will come along and take over.

“"Everything Must Change"”

Since: Dec 06

Southern Indiana

#4 Feb 16, 2007
Wow
does the child live with the father?

“"Everything Must Change"”

Since: Dec 06

Southern Indiana

#5 Feb 16, 2007
Well honesty is the best policy but obviously he is serious about being a father and whether we like the children or not if we want to be with the men it is a package deal! I have two kids and if my man got a problem with my kids they have a problem with me and they can step, my kids comes first! state your concerns to him but it probably wont mean a whole lot cause that is his child and you are just the GF, you sound like you might not have children of your own and that is fine but you may need to try to find a man with no children to get whatever it is that you seek!
HeadsUp

Spartanburg, SC

#6 Feb 16, 2007
Say amen when you can! You are dead on with this advice. LOL
Ruger wrote:
<quoted text>It's obvious he is very spoiled. There's only one way to deal with him now b/c he was raised incorrectly.
Beat his azz! He will learn respect then. If not, you are asking for trouble more and more as he get's older. You and your BF will be seeing him during visiting hours if no action is taken.
And for you liberals out there; kids don't respect timeouts! This kid has already gone too far. Sometimes you must do what's best for the kid and his future. Also, any way you can, get him in private school. NOW!

“Kiss it!”

Since: Dec 06

woodbury

#7 Feb 16, 2007
Well the only thing I can say is if you are not coforable with it then its time to move on, ask your man a permission if you can dicipline him, because me my hubby have a 7 yr ol son and he is a good boy sometimes he will act crazy, but you know how kids are, I ask my amn if I can say something to him, he said I can because he is in our house, I know I dont have the right to dicipline him, b/c he is not my child but because he is in my house he have to follow the rules and the kid dont I dont have a problem with it. he respect me and same to me to.

“It is what it is!”

Level 1

Since: Jan 07

Location hidden

#9 Feb 16, 2007
The kid needs his butt beat HOWEVER you are just the GF and I think that's overstepping. Imagine if some other chick (your child's father's GF) put her hands on your child. You need to be married to be able to spank his child and then that's still a murky issue as you are not that child's mother. All parties need to agree on that, including the child's mother. Otherwise you can set rules when he's in your home and his father needs to enforce them. If it's that bad, you may need to move on.
HoneyDipped

West Hempstead, NY

#8 Feb 16, 2007
I care for my boyfriend dearly but this kid is bananas. the other day my boyfriend left him in my care when he went to work ,this boy acted a DAMN FOOL. I almost walked out the store and left his little ass right there, alone without a home.

Since: Feb 07

Spartanburg, SC

#11 Feb 16, 2007
You know she shouldn't marry this guy or even think about being serious with him. Women without children should date men without children, period. It takes so many issues out of the equation right off the bat. When you begin a relationship it needs true nurturing - the people involved need time to become friends before even considering marriage. There should be no talk of: "I've got to take the ex this and the kids that"...This dad should be spending time with his son, a son who by all accounts seems to need some attention from someone. This dad shouldn't even be thinking about dating at this point. He made this child and should be very concerned about him becoming a responsible, well-balanced adult.
Greeneyedsista wrote:
The kid needs his butt beat HOWEVER you are just the GF and I think that's overstepping. Imagine if some other chick (your child's father's GF) put her hands on your child. You need to be married to be able to spank his child and then that's still a murky issue as you are not that child's mother. All parties need to agree on that, including the child's mother. Otherwise you can set rules when he's in your home and his father needs to enforce them. If it's that bad, you may need to move on.
Phillygurl

Philadelphia, PA

#12 Mar 21, 2007
I am going thru da same thing trust me i know how u feel its so annoying when everyone is put before you and your bf son is disrespectful i am going thru da same thing and i hate it wish you luck da best advice i can give to you and myself is to just move on

“**Sweet**Trini** Gyal**”

Since: Mar 07

Trinidad-TunaPuna

#13 Mar 21, 2007
HoneyDipped wrote:
I care for my boyfriend dearly but this kid is bananas. the other day my boyfriend left him in my care when he went to work ,this boy acted a DAMN FOOL. I almost walked out the store and left his little ass right there, alone without a home.
girl i totally understan.. my exboyfriend had a son who was just like that.. but the little boy did not like me either one day i tol that little fool to carry his ass in bed n i have a accent when i get mad.. this lil boy called me an african bitch!( mind you im Trini) but n e way.. i was pissed I told his father.. he said he would talk to him... so they next day the little fucker spit on me so i called his father and told his if he did not come get his child he was goning to get the greatest ass whoppin of his life..he came straight home! and after that I told him i understand that is his son and i will never try to come between them but if he son does not find some respect someplace very soon he would not be welcome in our home anymore!!! he was upset, but he understood... That boy will now come in my home say hello and go about his business... it is a little rude to me but i rather his lil devil ass be quite than spittin on me.. so basically u just need to talk to him aobut his child!!!!
Black Life

United States

#14 Mar 21, 2007
Trust me Sista. It doesn't get any better. At nine years old, the kid is pretty much set in his ways. If the father has custody of his son and has raised him, then this man is weak. Every man wants well-behaved children. I bet that the boy has been raised by his mother and the father only gets visitation. In those cases, the child is hard to control because the child's behavoir has been supported by that mother so long that the child thinks he's normal.

RUN!!! I've dumped plenty Black females based on how they raised their children. If the child is out of control and disrespectful, that's a sign that the mother is a low-life.
Black Life

United States

#15 Mar 21, 2007
Ruger wrote:
<quoted text>It's obvious he is very spoiled. There's only one way to deal with him now b/c he was raised incorrectly.
Beat his azz! He will learn respect then. If not, you are asking for trouble more and more as he get's older. You and your BF will be seeing him during visiting hours if no action is taken.
And for you liberals out there; kids don't respect timeouts! This kid has already gone too far. Sometimes you must do what's best for the kid and his future. Also, any way you can, get him in private school. NOW!
Way as Black people do we think an azzwhoopin is a cure all?

If we have to resort to azzwhoopins, then we've already fu kked up as parenting.

Remember back in the day where all your mama or daddy had to do is give you that LOOK, and your blackazz SHAPED UP?
advice

United States

#17 Mar 21, 2007
if this kid was your own you probably will put up with him.
all the kids act this way at some point
you knew the man had a kid but you didn't know what it takes to love someone that already have a kid.
my advice is
enjoy your love and open that frozen hard heart of yours and grow up.
give love to the world, develop patience
stop thinking about the black dick only.
show real love sista.
care for the kid who most of the time don't see his parents together not to mentions that the mother doesn't want to see him to often too.
so is your turn teach him manners in a loving way stop being selfish

Level 1

Since: Mar 07

Location hidden

#18 Mar 21, 2007
That child should be flag near death. The mother has failed in her womanly duties. The man is weak. You don't want a weak man, a relationship is hard enough as is and your relationship has baggage it is bound to fail. There is no thought to this leave at once.

Is your Man American?
Eighties Babi

Merrillville, IN

#19 Mar 21, 2007
See Dats worng Guys can date females wit kid but women cant do da same

I mean granted tha kid is a brat, Either leave Or adjust ~ 1st think is da realtionship worth it if U dont think any change is going 2 happen ~ and I wanna adress those who said it ain't right 2 dis... Forget it!! whoop others kids, U know da African proverb, "it takes a village" and it does Y do U think kids wheere more mindful back in da day... CAUSE THEY DIDNT KNOW WHERE DA NEXT AZZ WHOOPIN WAS COMIN FROM ~ It shames me to think er' body thinks its cute 4 little kids to run around N act a fool ~ And make up an excuse via" I dont want my kids 2 be disiplened <<<<see I dont know how 2 spell it:) like I was" if that was tha case where did ya parents go wrong with U,~ I'm Not sayin Kill'em or break Some thin, Y do U think tha lord made a back side - no not to sit cause we gotta work and toil for er' thang we do ~ He made a nice lil fleshy part that wont break, remember spare tha rod and spoil, as long as no body breaks ma kid N I know em' whoop'em if dey in da wrong, they aint tryin 2 hurt em... Im sure ~ jus an Idea from an 80's babi.... Hey I got ma azz whooped alot N In tha words from olivia(cosby show)and I'm still alive

“~Sassy~ ”

Since: Dec 06

Sunny Southern California

#20 Mar 21, 2007
If you date someone with kids, they are part of the package. Either you can handle them in your life, or you can't. If you can't, move on
Miss Gutierrez

United States

#21 Mar 21, 2007
HoneyDipped wrote:
i hate my boyfriend's son.This little boy is 9 yrs old and HARD HEADED. all he does is whine" i want this ,i want that. he is annoying.even my boyfriend mother say "do not bring that boy over here today i am not in the mood". my boyfriend say his son acts like that because of his ex. I love my man dearly but i am ready to walk.
I feel you but im afraid i must agree with everyone else on this one. That is his child and no matter how much love you and his father share, you cannot compete with his offspring. I mean if you had a child and he/she had certain character flaws, and your man hated him/her, you'd be ready to kick him to the curb right? You'd have the idea that, "Hey this is my child and if you cant love her/him you cant love me." Right? Well dont put ya man in the same boat, because the LAST thing a man wants is for his Girlfriend(you not even the BABY MAMA) to hate his kids. And we all know men are the MASTERS of DETACHMENT. So if he senses you are trying to be controlling, especially about his son, you'll find yourself alone and lonely.
Miss Gutierrez

United States

#22 Mar 21, 2007
Trinigyal wrote:
<quoted text>
girl i totally understan.. my exboyfriend had a son who was just like that.. but the little boy did not like me either one day i tol that little fool to carry his ass in bed n i have a accent when i get mad.. this lil boy called me an african bitch!( mind you im Trini) but n e way.. i was pissed I told his father.. he said he would talk to him... so they next day the little fucker spit on me so i called his father and told his if he did not come get his child he was goning to get the greatest ass whoppin of his life..he came straight home! and after that I told him i understand that is his son and i will never try to come between them but if he son does not find some respect someplace very soon he would not be welcome in our home anymore!!! he was upset, but he understood... That boy will now come in my home say hello and go about his business... it is a little rude to me but i rather his lil devil ass be quite than spittin on me.. so basically u just need to talk to him aobut his child!!!!
See you are wayyyy better than me because I would have beat the hell outta him for spitting on me!

“**Sweet**Trini** Gyal**”

Since: Mar 07

Trinidad-TunaPuna

#24 Mar 21, 2007
Miss Gutierrez wrote:
<quoted text>See you are wayyyy better than me because I would have beat the hell outta him for spitting on me!
man... i was about to but i had to understand that wasnt my child lol...

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