Interracial dating/marriage: a bad idea
KIP

San Francisco, CA

#22 Jul 29, 2013
Gaelach Pride wrote:
Interracial dating and marriage is (overall) a bad idea. Here is why:
-Interracial couples have higher rates of domestic violence
-Interracial couples have higher divorce rates; overall 41% chance of separation compared to 31% for same race couples
-Interracial couples face challenges in the way family/friends react, as well as society in general
In conclusion, it is better for whites to marry other whites and blacks to marry other blacks. Marriages will be healthier and less likely to end in divorce.
A LOT of marriages end in divorce, DUH!!

Anyway, compatibility has nothing to do with race. Sorry, but it just DOESN'T. You'd understand if you actually spent time in a relationship with another adult. Simply marrying someone just for being black or white doesn't mean the union will be healthy.

“Perfection is impossible”

Level 5

Since: May 13

But excellence is close enough

#25 Jul 29, 2013
Timothy wrote:
It is what is, but I am not fascist. If a person wants to have an IR marriage or an IR relationship, then that is their business. I can't be for real freedom and deny others the right to love who they love. Although, I respect black love and as a black man, I will already love and respect black women.
Now that's the spirit. We need more African Americans like you, it's obvious that there are several pitfalls to interracial relationships and marriages. I personally prefer dating my own race, not trying to denigrate IR though.

Since: Jul 13

Almaty, Kazakhstan

#26 Jul 29, 2013
Carmiana wrote:
Its even worse when they are here illegally, because you realized that you weren't really attracted to them. Although, my dad was an illegal immigrant when he married my mother and then they both got divorced, and they are both black.
By the way, I don't know if I will ever date another Hispanic again.
Have you seen your father? Did he take care of you?

“A queen never bow downs”

Level 3

Since: Jul 13

Location hidden

#27 Jul 29, 2013
I think people get in IR dating for the wrong reasons.

“Take the kinks out ya mind”

Level 4

Since: Jul 13

and not your hair

#28 Jul 29, 2013
RiichGiirl wrote:
I think people get in IR dating for the wrong reasons.
I have to agree, many times I've seen fetishizing and bashing in people who are in IR and I think the problem unbeknownst to them is themselves. You should always be with someone because the chemistry, attraction, and heart feels right not in spite or in fantasy those relationships won't last long especially since they aren't always accepted and people wonder why divorce rates are high. I say date whoever makes you happy, skin color isn't important, but that doesn't mean to degrade your own people to validate your decisions.
Bmt

Eskilstuna, Sweden

#29 Jul 29, 2013
Genevieve11 wrote:
<quoted text>
i was suffering from all that at one point and i'm not mixed I'm creole...but i may be living as mixed in america but don't know it?
Do you creoles see yourselves are a race unto yourselves or do you see your as mixed race? Are comfortable around fullblooded races when interacting? I don't mean on the net.^_^
Genevieve11

Van Nuys, CA

#30 Jul 30, 2013
Bmt wrote:
<quoted text>
Do you creoles see yourselves are a race unto yourselves or do you see your as mixed race? Are comfortable around fullblooded races when interacting? I don't mean on the net.^_^
"Do you creoles see yourselves are a race unto yourselves or do you see your as mixed race?"

i think maybe more mixed race...but i can see it going either way because creoles that actually still stick to the culture are culturally WEIRD and unlike any AAs or latinos you've ever seen and i'm talkin about my family here. Most creoles have blended in to the mainstream society culturally whether that be AA or white. So, it'd be hard to tell the difference between a creole and AA/white due to this cultural assimilation/bi-culturality.

"Are comfortable around fullblooded races when interacting?"

I guess it depends...I'm comfortable about near-white to light AAs and mixed-looking (afro-white-native) puerto ricans and latinos. But i'll tell you...MOST AAs i am uncomfortable around. I mean i can interact and blend in with them depending on where i am. But as soon as i go someplace like New York City I can literally look like a totally different species so far as black is concerned. It's not a problem out west as there is more of a variety of blacks out here due to an already large creole popluation and a mixing AA population out here (interracial is more common). As for if i had to choose a culture that i most meld with i'd say afro-latino but that could just be my individual preference and not a cultural preference. In marriage we marry light AAs, latinos, or whites.

“A queen never bow downs”

Level 3

Since: Jul 13

Location hidden

#31 Jul 30, 2013
brownskin_beauty wrote:
<quoted text>
I have to agree, many times I've seen fetishizing and bashing in people who are in IR and I think the problem unbeknownst to them is themselves. You should always be with someone because the chemistry, attraction, and heart feels right not in spite or in fantasy those relationships won't last long especially since they aren't always accepted and people wonder why divorce rates are high. I say date whoever makes you happy, skin color isn't important, but that doesn't mean to degrade your own people to validate your decisions.
I agree but there are many people attacking IR couples as well. Now, a lot of this hate has to do with their families. I have heard plenty of black parents to their daughters to marry a non black man because they might have a better life style and to their sons to marry non black women to have bi racial children. it has a lot to do with the parents raising their children the right way. My parents has always gave me their opinion but its my choice.

“The Love Below”

Level 8

Since: Apr 10

ATL

#32 Aug 1, 2013
Genevieve11 wrote:
<quoted text>
"Do you creoles see yourselves are a race unto yourselves or do you see your as mixed race?"
i think maybe more mixed race...but i can see it going either way because creoles that actually still stick to the culture are culturally WEIRD and unlike any AAs or latinos you've ever seen and i'm talkin about my family here. Most creoles have blended in to the mainstream society culturally whether that be AA or white. So, it'd be hard to tell the difference between a creole and AA/white due to this cultural assimilation/bi-culturality.
"Are comfortable around fullblooded races when interacting?"
I guess it depends...I'm comfortable about near-white to light AAs and mixed-looking (afro-white-native) puerto ricans and latinos. But i'll tell you...MOST AAs i am uncomfortable around. I mean i can interact and blend in with them depending on where i am. But as soon as i go someplace like New York City I can literally look like a totally different species so far as black is concerned. It's not a problem out west as there is more of a variety of blacks out here due to an already large creole popluation and a mixing AA population out here (interracial is more common). As for if i had to choose a culture that i most meld with i'd say afro-latino but that could just be my individual preference and not a cultural preference. In marriage we marry light AAs, latinos, or whites.
Beyonce's mother is creole, she married a dark skin african american male. Whats with marrying light skin? I have know creoles who dated darker skin african american men, and even married them.

“me! chee hoo! LOL!”

Level 6

Since: Oct 09

New Zealand

#33 Aug 1, 2013
Yes it is.. If you marry a black person genetically, ur kids will grow up.. Cussing, volient and end up joining a gang.. Its scientifically been proven.. By a bbc docomentary
UruEuWauWau

Brazil

#34 Aug 1, 2013
Genevieve11 wrote:
<quoted text>

i think maybe more mixed race...but i can see it going either way because creoles that actually still stick to the culture are culturally WEIRD and unlike any AAs or latinos you've ever seen and i'm talkin about my family here. Most creoles have blended in to the mainstream society culturally whether that be AA or white. So, it'd be hard to tell the difference between a creole and AA/white due to this cultural assimilation/bi-culturality.

I guess it depends...I'm comfortable about near-white to light AAs and mixed-looking (afro-white-native) puerto ricans and latinos. But i'll tell you...MOST AAs i am uncomfortable around. I mean i can interact and blend in with them depending on where i am. But as soon as i go someplace like New York City I can literally look like a totally different species so far as black is concerned. It's not a problem out west as there is more of a variety of blacks out here due to an already large creole popluation and a mixing AA population out here (interracial is more common). As for if i had to choose a culture that i most meld with i'd say afro-latino but that could just be my individual preference and not a cultural preference. In marriage we marry light AAs, latinos, or whites.
The funny thaaang is, the real Yank LA Creole busted yo' posin' fake Yank LA Creole azz too many times. ;-) C'mon, drop this Yank LA 'creole' BS. Ya ain't Yank LA Creole in any way, & so much less culturally. ;-D
Genevieve11

Van Nuys, CA

#35 Aug 1, 2013
BROWNMAN20 wrote:
<quoted text>Beyonce's mother is creole, she married a dark skin african american male. Whats with marrying light skin? I have know creoles who dated darker skin african american men, and even married them.
i didn't say it didn't happen, it's just that that's not what i usually see/hear of.
Genevieve11

Van Nuys, CA

#36 Aug 1, 2013
UruEuWauWau wrote:
<quoted text>
The funny thaaang is, the real Yank LA Creole busted yo' posin' fake Yank LA Creole azz too many times. ;-) C'mon, drop this Yank LA 'creole' BS. Ya ain't Yank LA Creole in any way, & so much less culturally. ;-D
show me a real yank louisiana creole...i'll go first...



^real yank creole...

now you go...I want to see your definition.

Level 7

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#37 Aug 1, 2013
Since my pride, self worth or esteem doesn't emanates from the choices other people make in their romantic life, I am not bothered in the least by IR daters or marriages. I may take issues with some of the inimical mindsets and attitudes that are often born from them, but in and of itself...no issue for me, so let each one find their place in the romantic paradigm.

Now, if one was to hold a gun to my head and demand that I raise an objection to IR marriage, accompanied by some reasoning, I would cite the fact that humans, particularly in racially and ethnically diverse society, work in cooperative groups to provide,serve and protect their own group's economic interest; and with this being so, marrying exgamously does and can affect group economic stability, especially for blacks.

For me personally, I love black women or rather my specific black woman for the right reasons, but it is also important to me that my accrued assets be diffused within the group to benefit others...brothers, in laws, underprivileged neighborhood kid etc.. This is a personal philosophy and not an indictment against anyone who is currently in IR relationships or marriage.

Level 7

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#38 Aug 2, 2013
I am always amused when I hear people say that people marry interracially for the wrong reasons, as if all inter-group marriages are done for the right reasons, whatever that means.

To my knowledge, outside of marriages born of the "romantic love" reasoning, which has only been en vogue in the last 100 or so years, people marry for a variety of reasons, too many to enumerate here.

Also this "wrong reason" variable would resonate more poignantly if those marriages that took place for the "right reasons" where to have consistently, more longevity and quality than those joined for different reasons, which they don't.
Genevieve11

Van Nuys, CA

#39 Aug 3, 2013
Cogito2 wrote:
For me personally, I love black women or rather my specific black woman for the right reasons, but it is also important to me that my accrued assets be diffused within the group to benefit others...brothers, in laws, underprivileged neighborhood kid etc.. This is a personal philosophy and not an indictment against anyone who is currently in IR relationships or marriage.
"For me personally, I love black women or rather my specific black woman for the right reasons, but it is also important to me that my accrued assets be diffused within the group to benefit others."

but since you basically can mix with anything in america and your kid will still be socially black, it doesn't matter if you marry out or not, your resources are still going towards the "group"...and in this case your kid, who will be mixed but still black.

Level 7

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#40 Aug 3, 2013
Genevieve11 wrote:
<quoted text>
"For me personally, I love black women or rather my specific black woman for the right reasons, but it is also important to me that my accrued assets be diffused within the group to benefit others."
but since you basically can mix with anything in america and your kid will still be socially black, it doesn't matter if you marry out or not, your resources are still going towards the "group"...and in this case your kid, who will be mixed but still black.
LOL! Sorry, I'm not going for the banana in the tail pipe trick!

Some of my resources, if the mother was non black, would be shared by her with her non black relatives, so madame is wrong on this one. Once again, it's just my personal philosophy! I came to the dance with baby girl, so Imma ride it out with her.
Genevieve11

Van Nuys, CA

#41 Aug 4, 2013
Cogito2 wrote:
<quoted text>
LOL! Sorry, I'm not going for the banana in the tail pipe trick!
Some of my resources, if the mother was non black, would be shared by her with her non black relatives, so madame is wrong on this one. Once again, it's just my personal philosophy! I came to the dance with baby girl, so Imma ride it out with her.
you got a point. good luck to you and your family!

Kip

“Brian's alter ego”

Level 7

Since: Feb 07

San Francisco, CA

#42 Aug 4, 2013
Genevieve11 wrote:
<quoted text>
"For me personally, I love black women or rather my specific black woman for the right reasons, but it is also important to me that my accrued assets be diffused within the group to benefit others."
but since you basically can mix with anything in america and your kid will still be socially black, it doesn't matter if you marry out or not, your resources are still going towards the "group"...and in this case your kid, who will be mixed but still black.
I don't think any this makes any difference once you are taking care of your own child.

Level 7

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#43 Aug 4, 2013
Kip wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't think any this makes any difference once you are taking care of your own child.
I knew that Kip would show up sooner of later to challenge my "clearly stated" personal philosophy. But hey, your myopia is not a shared affliction. Yes, my children are first but after that, my resources are utilized and disbursed to those many talented black kids who otherwise, are looked and passed over.

I just had to 2 little brothers from south central LA that both graduated with business degrees from USC with my financial assistance and encouragement over the years, so don't tell me that it doesn't make any difference. Stop running around smashing every mirror to avoid seeing your unflattering spiritual reflection.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

African-American Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 2 min Realtime 1,419,968
do all black women want mixed babies? 3 min BLM2016 9
Interracial relationships. Who does it AFFECT?... (Sep '15) 3 min KIP 72
the moors were black africans not arabs!!! (Jun '08) 6 min Curious Me 47,896
Do Black men like Asian girls? (Jul '13) 14 min Oh No You Di-nt 926
Why are black men so jelly of white men when th... 14 min He Dindu Nuffin 23
Trump will carry atleast 25% of the BLACK VOTE 14 min Trumping On MMXVI 271
Blue ivy is UGLY!!!! (Jul '13) 14 min Blkbeauty 59
49er QB Colin Kaepernick is WAKING UP 1 hr KIP 87
Why aren't there any Negroes in the Bible? 1 hr Michel Montvert 568
153 Years and Still Nothing??? 4 hr Trumping On MMXVI 54
More from around the web