So Fellas - What Qualities In a Woman Make Her Marriage Material?

Posted in the African-American Forum

First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Since: Feb 08

Marietta, NY

#1 Feb 11, 2008
What is it about a woman that makes you want to never let go? And have you ever found such a woman?
cuda

United States

#3 Feb 11, 2008
i want a lady in public and a ho in
the bedroom

“changing times”

Since: Dec 07

Location hidden

#4 Feb 11, 2008
Mephistopheles wrote:
My wife is loving and understanding. And super intelligent as well. She's family and goal oriented and not a "herd follower"
She's a worldly person, meaning she's willing to try different things in life and visit different cultures. We talk,laugh,play,exercise, and share a soul together.
These days, decent men want a woman with those qualities. It also is wonderful when such a woman exists that is also childless, with her OWN mind and that has goals outside of watching nonsense on B.E.T. or VH1.
God Bless u and your wife

Since: Feb 08

Marietta, NY

#5 Feb 11, 2008
osgood wrote:
i want a lady in public and a ho in
the bedroom
Is that it? I think that's pretty easy to accomplish.

Since: Feb 08

Marietta, NY

#6 Feb 11, 2008
Mephistopheles wrote:
My wife is loving and understanding. And super intelligent as well. She's family and goal oriented and not a "herd follower"
She's a worldly person, meaning she's willing to try different things in life and visit different cultures. We talk,laugh,play,exercise, and share a soul together.
These days, decent men want a woman with those qualities. It also is wonderful when such a woman exists that is also childless, with her OWN mind and that has goals outside of watching nonsense on B.E.T. or VH1.
That's great :).

A lot of women don't focus on nurturing their inner qualities. I think partly because it's not always rewarded. I like it when men acknowledge a woman's mind and spirit - but honestly it often seems like unless a woman looks a certain way, most men care less about her personality LOL.
shallow hal

Melbourne, Australia

#7 Feb 11, 2008
ok good question

she needs to be intelligent, pretty and willing to have extreme sex, hardworking, fair, friendly, positive attitude, and if possible... good at cooking and housekeeping

Since: Feb 08

Marietta, NY

#9 Feb 11, 2008
Yes, I agree that men who focus only a woman's looks tend to get shallow women they are never satasfied with.
Mephistopheles wrote:
if women would be more open, and wouldn't write off some men's hobbies and interests as "boring, lame and corny" then perhaps you'd see more happy couples and less drama filled couples.
Have women in your past described your interests as boring, lame, and corny?

Well everyone isn't for everybody. I don't assume that a lot of men will share my interests so I don't waste my time checkin for guys who I'm clearly not compatible with, or think I'm weird lol. Seems like a lot of black people struggle with fitting in some type of box when it comes to personality and interests. I don't care about that - either a person accepts me or they don't, I think there's a lot of interesting people out there if one is patient enough to look for them.

I think the cause of most relationship drama is that many people dive into relationships for selfish reasons rather than because they're formed a genuine bond. So even though they may not really be compatible they stick with it because of sex, affection, fear of loneliness, etc.
cuda

United States

#11 Feb 11, 2008
it is very important to act like a lady when your out with your man,make him proud to be with you,and never never ever argue with your man in front of people.have your spats in private. its rude to do it in public and all the guys i know don't like the drama . now in the sack smell nice ,look pretty, and ladies men need visual.i know for me its important. lotta oral , lotsa positions, and wrap me up with the long beutiful legs. perfect woman ( GETTING A LITTLE RANDY HERE JUST WRITING ABOUT HER) SO TAKE CARE

“Learn to love yourself first!!”

Since: Oct 07

Georgia Peach

#14 Feb 12, 2008
Mephistopheles wrote:
Damn, crickets in here....well Raspberry Delite, looks like no one knows what marriage material is...guess they are too used to chickenheads and amerikkkan skankles...
You write really well. Your usage of words in awesome
cuda

United States

#17 Feb 12, 2008
Mephistopheles wrote:
So who's fault is it for the lack of marriage worthy women. Is it the men who became thugs and low lifes in order to attract a society of drama thirsty women who blatantly insult the men who remain true to themselves? Or is it the women who all of a sudden rebel against what a good man is and go with the "in crowd's" version of a good thug is? Should a good man want a reformed whore? If she bounced around from thug to thug in her younger days, and now she's "all thugged out", worn down, used up with a kid or two, and now she's a "church woman", is she marriage material? I say ABSOLUTELY NOT!! Because she is putting on a front. I have a saying, "You can't polish a turd"
Because she's so used to offering her body to these thuggish idiots out there, that she no longer has a clue as to what she can offer a man of genuine interest other than sex. She more than likely cannot cook, raise a family,or have serious subjects to discuss.
i agree with memphis i've seen it first hand beautiful girls in high school and at 21 or 22 they have 2-3 kids 2-3 fathers ,no support, and when she wants to straiten up most men would think very hard about taking on 3 kids and a new wife. girl now has missing teeth no insurance,lousy hygene,a filthy mouth, and they take on the tradition of screaming at people when they're confronted with anything.shout them down even if you don't have a valid point. show the behavior to the children,and you'll pay for it later,or else everyone else will. good call memphis!

do you remember that old rocker song when bette midler played "the rose"? it was called midnight in memphis. loved that song.

ECR

Since: Jan 07

Washington, DC

#18 Feb 12, 2008
Mephistopheles wrote:
<quoted text>
...if women would be more open, and wouldn't write off some men's hobbies and interests as "boring, lame and corny" then perhaps you'd see more happy couples and less drama filled couples.
As someone who is taking violin lessons AND belongs to a book club, I'd hate to hear what those women would call my hobbies ;-)

ECR

Since: Jan 07

Washington, DC

#19 Feb 12, 2008
Mephistopheles wrote:
So who's fault is it for the lack of marriage worthy women. Is it the men who became thugs and low lifes in order to attract a society of drama thirsty women who blatantly insult the men who remain true to themselves? Or is it the women who all of a sudden rebel against what a good man is and go with the "in crowd's" version of a good thug is? Should a good man want a reformed whore? If she bounced around from thug to thug in her younger days, and now she's "all thugged out", worn down, used up with a kid or two, and now she's a "church woman", is she marriage material? I say ABSOLUTELY NOT!! Because she is putting on a front. I have a saying, "You can't polish a turd"
Because she's so used to offering her body to these thuggish idiots out there, that she no longer has a clue as to what she can offer a man of genuine interest other than sex. She more than likely cannot cook, raise a family,or have serious subjects to discuss.
While thuggish men and drama-seeking women may be highly visible, I don’t think their numbers are so great that they are responsible for the lack of marriage-worthy people. If anything, I believe selfishness is to blame. So many people will have a laundry list of what “turns them off “, what they will/will not except from a partner, and gripes about past loves. Relatively few of these people have critically examined their own strengths and weaknesses and contemplated what THEY could offer a perspective partner. To this end, many people want a marriage in theory, not reality. Marriages can be satisfying, but require compromise and effort on behalf of both people in order to be successful. Keeping my above comment in mind, I think many people can handle being married (or the idea of being married) until they are confronted with a situation(s) in which they have to come out of their comfort zone to make things work.

ECR

Since: Jan 07

Washington, DC

#21 Feb 12, 2008
Raspberry DeLite wrote:
<quoted text>
That's great :).
A lot of women don't focus on nurturing their inner qualities. I think partly because it's not always rewarded. I like it when men acknowledge a woman's mind and spirit - but honestly it often seems like unless a woman looks a certain way, most men care less about her personality LOL.
I could shake your hand for making that comment.

Many men will have you believe that the members of their gender are overflowing with depth and substance while all the shallowness in the world can be attributed to women. Let’s be honest, since we see someone’s exterior first, it’s the thing most people are drawn to. Sometimes people give themselves a chance to see beyond it, sometimes not.
someone

Louisville, KY

#22 Feb 12, 2008
I have to be attracted to her, to start with(basically, I have to have the need to be with her physically). If I'm not attracted to her, there's not going to be any chemistry.

Pro-life. I don't want to debate it. If she's pro-choice, she may abort my child. I can't live with that.

High School Diploma.

Job.

Willing to put up with my bull ish.(day to day little things)

Sexual history can't be too horrible.(If you're, or were, a porn star.....you need not apply)

Future children.....no preference.

Previous relationship children...no more than 3(and 3 is REAL iffy).

Likes to clean and hates to cook(cause we'd be ying and yang in that sense). That one's a plus, but not a requirement.

Preferably a smoker. I'll only date a non smoker if they REALLY don't have a problem with me smoking. Am I gonna quit some day? Most likely. When I'M READY! So don't bug me about it. Oh, and doesn't smoke in the house.

Here's a really big one.....CHRISTIAN! You have to believe that Jesus died for our sins.

Doesn't have to be sexually experienced, but open to do at least the basics.(when the time is right)

Faithful.

Honest. Especially if it's something that I'm not going to like. Be it an opinion, or an action.

I personally think I'm asking for too much, but it is what it is.
someone

Louisville, KY

#23 Feb 12, 2008
Oh...and conducts herself as a lady in public.

Also, I'm looking for an equal. Somebody I like to be with personality wise.

Since: Feb 08

Marietta, NY

#24 Feb 12, 2008
ECR wrote:
<quoted text>
While thuggish men and drama-seeking women may be highly visible, I don’t think their numbers are so great that they are responsible for the lack of marriage-worthy people. If anything, I believe selfishness is to blame. So many people will have a laundry list of what “turns them off “, what they will/will not except from a partner, and gripes about past loves. Relatively few of these people have critically examined their own strengths and weaknesses and contemplated what THEY could offer a perspective partner. To this end, many people want a marriage in theory, not reality. Marriages can be satisfying, but require compromise and effort on behalf of both people in order to be successful. Keeping my above comment in mind, I think many people can handle being married (or the idea of being married) until they are confronted with a situation(s) in which they have to come out of their comfort zone to make things work.
Great Post!

Not to mention that healthy relationships require accepting a person in their entirety, not the just the best parts of them.

Seems like a lot of imperfect people expect perfection.

“Yeah So”

Since: Oct 07

Ellicott City, MD

#25 Feb 12, 2008
When I was younger all I wanted was a teacher who was a failed track star.

Now I am definitely looking for maturity. A family oriented person. Someone who is well read. I'm not looking for a 10 but at least an high 8. Must have a sense of humor. Doesn't smoke. A loving person. Someone, I wouldn't worry about leaving my children with. I still would prefer and educator, because I'm thinking of homeschooling for elementary school. Can cook, doesn't have to be a gourmet cook, because I like to experiment myself. Must love baseball.
Ying to my Yang.

ECR

Since: Jan 07

Washington, DC

#26 Feb 12, 2008
Raspberry DeLite wrote:
<quoted text>
Great Post!
Not to mention that healthy relationships require accepting a person in their entirety, not the just the best parts of them.
Seems like a lot of imperfect people expect perfection.
That is oh so true! People are who they are.
someone

Louisville, KY

#27 Feb 12, 2008
Raspberry DeLite wrote:
<quoted text>
Seems like a lot of imperfect people expect perfection.
You're crazy! I live for the imperfections in the women I date. I appreciate them. Imperfections are what make people beautiful.
Woman

Waukesha, WI

#28 Jan 16, 2010
Raspberry DeLite wrote:
What is it about a woman that makes you want to never let go? And have you ever found such a woman?
I myself believe a woman should posess and express her God-given inner beauty of feminity and wisdom when it comes to her man.#1) No your man ladies.#2) No what he likes and dislikes.#3) Respect him at all costs.#4) Listen to your man.#5) Submit to him.#6) Nurture babies but Love on your man, praise him, show him you appreciate him and all that he does.#7) Let him know he's needed by allowing him to be a man.#8) Do not take up his slack - a man know's his business just as a woman knows hers.#9) Never say "No" to your man about sex and in return women will receive all the love he has for her in and outside the bed. Did I get it right men? Don't you wish women would be more lady like and not so domineering and demanding? Men are the head...respect is what they need.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

African-American Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 3 min USAsince1680 1,232,323
Crime rises in Baltimore as cops are afraid to ... 3 min CubbyFan 4
Africa... 6 min coretta 18
how can u be a proud black man with a white wom... 7 min Big Knob 36
FRENCH THREAD in AA Forum? (Oct '09) 9 min Savant 4,258
This is the Face BM Claim White Women Love 10 min CubbyFan 2
Hebrew Israelite (Feb '11) 11 min Ben YISRAEL 120,512
Why do good looking black women like white men ... (Sep '12) 20 min Guest 6,799
Van Sertima debunked! Afronazis Drowning in Tears! 35 min johnplustwomore 309
why do white people hate other races so much 3 hr Broken Synthesis 372
Child Sexual Abuse Rampant On Sioux Indian Rese... 5 hr RealTalk 26
More from around the web