Black muslim women and marriage...?

Black muslim women and marriage...?

Posted in the African-American Forum

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Sumaya

United States

#1 Dec 6, 2007
I didnt realize this had become such an...epidemic

lately..i have been hearing many black muslim women saying that they are having a very difficulty time finding a spouse..many of them say that it is difficult to find a black man who is single...others say that even if they try to find a man outside their race (arab, asian, etc)....the men protest that they are not good enough and would prefer a white or non-black female

i have also heard that a lot of black women...lives are destroyed because of immigrant muslim communities who seek spouses for these single black women by promoting marriages between them and ex-cons who turn to islam..the immigrant muslims are "well-intentioned" because they believe that these black women will find most compatibility with the ex-cons...

what do u think about this issue? do u think it is the best option for muslim communities to seek ex-con muslim men for black women..who may be...virgins, well educated, middle class background?...
Michelle

Lake Saint Louis, MO

#2 Dec 6, 2007
..it's hard for us all(black women)
Sumaya

United States

#3 Dec 6, 2007
would anyone like to comment?
Sumaya

United States

#4 Dec 6, 2007
michelle, what do u mean?

“Waryaa Team”

Since: Dec 07

SOMALIA

#5 Dec 6, 2007
sumaya, i didn't know know that. I know where i live alot of African American muslim sisters marry alot of diff nationalities...I know even 1 married to Somali man and they got kids. You can always go to those marriage sites.
Michelle

Lake Saint Louis, MO

#6 Dec 6, 2007
I mean, it is hard for a black woman to find someone suitable for marriage, it can be done, and half of my friends from highschool are married(I'm 28), includeing myself. It is a struggle for black American women in general because of the promiscuous culture that is going on nowadays. I know that people will try to dispute it, but it is the absolute truth.
Sumaya

United States

#7 Dec 6, 2007
but that is more so an American epidemic..than just a black women problem...

black women are not moe sexual than any other race..in fact..i know alot of black women who are virgins...

in fact...my question more so has to do with middle classed , virgin, black women being married to ex-cons...because the muslim community finds this to be a suitable match...

i am just asking..do u think this is a good or bad idea? do u think they make a good match..or a better match versus men outside their culture?
Sumaya

United States

#8 Dec 6, 2007
sorry i meant more not "moe"..i dont anyone think i speak ebonics..what a a stereotype
sumaya

United States

#9 Dec 7, 2007
anyone else would like to comment?
Rasheed Ali

Nashville, TN

#10 Dec 21, 2007
sumaya wrote:
anyone else would like to comment?
Im really curious as to know can a young professional African American muslim brother like myself go to meet like minded African American Muslim Women. Name a site and Im there. Im 25 I have degrees and doing very well for myself, I would like to share my time with someone.

oh by the way I've never seen the inside of a Jail Cell, I converted on my own.

“In the Space Love Demands”

Since: Oct 07

Black Love USA

#11 Dec 21, 2007
Sumaya wrote:
but that is more so an American epidemic..than just a black women problem...
black women are not moe sexual than any other race..in fact..i know alot of black women who are virgins...
in fact...my question more so has to do with middle classed , virgin, black women being married to ex-cons...because the muslim community finds this to be a suitable match...
i am just asking..do u think this is a good or bad idea? do u think they make a good match..or a better match versus men outside their culture?
It depends.

Two of my very good friends (one male, one female) are African American Muslims, raised in Christian households.

One of my cousins is engaged to a man who was raised in The Nation of Islam.

So talking with them and going to a few social events (casual, not religious, for I am not a Muslim), I will give my opinion.

From what i have observed this is FINE, as long as the "ex con" has truly transformed his life or is seriously in the process.

This is an obvious example, but Malcolm Shabazz (X) was a reformed ex con.

By all accounts from Betty Shabazz, he was a good husband.

My female friend who is Muslim is married to an "ex con" and he is compatible with her in every way.

He is erudite, intelligent, a good father, provider, and it seems a good lover.

Acknowledging his former "knucklehead" status, he has raised himself above that and attained both the American dream and Islamic piety.

He is so respected that mosques with Middle Eastern gentlemen have asked him to come and be among them. He loves all mankind and I think is great example for men anywhere.
Ahmed Ali

Nashville, TN

#12 Dec 28, 2007
Michelle wrote:
..it's hard for us all(black women)
Its somewhat funny to me because as a Black Convert to Islam in the South who is looking to broaden my Muslim circle of associates, There are so few African American Muslimahs I really think they dont exist down here. I believe I have alot to bring to the table from Passion to Finances, Security and Respect for a Muslim Sister but none can be found especially in Tennessee. Where are you sisters at?
ABC

Atlanta, GA

#13 Dec 28, 2007
Sumaya wrote:
but that is more so an American epidemic..than just a black women problem...
black women are not moe sexual than any other race..in fact..i know alot of black women who are virgins...
in fact...my question more so has to do with middle classed , virgin, black women being married to ex-cons...because the muslim community finds this to be a suitable match...
i am just asking..do u think this is a good or bad idea? do u think they make a good match..or a better match versus men outside their culture?
Absolutely NOT!!!! those same immigrant Muslims you speak of would not marry their daughter to an ex-con even if he was the only one in their ethnic group available. The Wali is supposed to look for compatibility. a young upright Muslimah from a middle class background has nothing in common with an ex con except possibly skin color. Don't get me wrong, they have converted and that's wonderful BUT they are better suited to an older possibly divorced Muslim woman who can better understand what she is getting into or a woman who prior to conversion lived a very worldly life. I am appalled that such a match would ever be made.

“aswad rajul min amerika”

Since: Dec 07

Location hidden

#14 Dec 28, 2007
Sumaya wrote:
I didnt realize this had become such an...epidemic
lately..i have been hearing many black muslim women saying that they are having a very difficulty time finding a spouse..many of them say that it is difficult to find a black man who is single...others say that even if they try to find a man outside their race (arab, asian, etc)....the men protest that they are not good enough and would prefer a white or non-black female
i have also heard that a lot of black women...lives are destroyed because of immigrant muslim communities who seek spouses for these single black women by promoting marriages between them and ex-cons who turn to islam..the immigrant muslims are "well-intentioned" because they believe that these black women will find most compatibility with the ex-cons...
what do u think about this issue? do u think it is the best option for muslim communities to seek ex-con muslim men for black women..who may be...virgins, well educated, middle class background?...
Unless you live in an area with large african american muslim community or african muslim immigrant community, then finding a muslim mate can be more difficult.
For muslim men it is allowed to marry a christian woman, but for muslimah it is not allowed but some still do. I would never match a muslimah with a ex con who has recently converted to Islam, but if the ex con has been faithful to Islam and is an upstanding member of their community then he should be considered.
abdulahi

South Africa

#15 Jan 5, 2008
hi sumaya , my name is abdulahi i live south africa , so i would like to great u.bye
Abderrahman

Casablanca, Morocco

#16 Feb 19, 2008
Assalamu alaikum .
well all i can say is that the marriage between black and white is posible because in islam there is no difference between races or coulors and know that matches are made in heaven alhamdulilah .so just write here to look for a muslim sister for mariage, she could be white or black it is the same to me.
my email for cantact is : [email protected]
may Allah make our dremas come true ameen .
Abderrahman

“In the Space Love Demands”

Since: Oct 07

Black Love USA

#17 Feb 19, 2008
Sumaya wrote:
I didnt realize this had become such an...epidemic
lately..i have been hearing many black muslim women saying that they are having a very difficulty time finding a spouse..many of them say that it is difficult to find a black man who is single...others say that even if they try to find a man outside their race (arab, asian, etc)....the men protest that they are not good enough and would prefer a white or non-black female
i have also heard that a lot of black women...lives are destroyed because of immigrant muslim communities who seek spouses for these single black women by promoting marriages between them and ex-cons who turn to islam..the immigrant muslims are "well-intentioned" because they believe that these black women will find most compatibility with the ex-cons...
what do u think about this issue? do u think it is the best option for muslim communities to seek ex-con muslim men for black women..who may be...virgins, well educated, middle class background?...
Do you mean African American Muslim women?

Yes.

From what I can see there are more AA Muslim women than men.

Also, it seems that many of the AA Muslim men don't marry at all or don't marry women who are Muslim.

As far as ex-cons are concerned, that is irrelevant, but I think that many men who have been to prison don't want women anymore.

this is just my personal opinion
abdu ali

Toronto, Canada

#18 Feb 19, 2008
Michelle wrote:
..it's hard for us all(black women)
I Think you are somewhat correct because there are some cultrual diffrences particularly Muslim immigrant man. Some of them want woman who are able to move wth them backhome or any where when they want to do so.

“aswad rajul min amerika”

Since: Dec 07

Location hidden

#19 Feb 19, 2008
soulflower wrote:
<quoted text>
Do you mean African American Muslim women?
Yes.
From what I can see there are more AA Muslim women than men.
Also, it seems that many of the AA Muslim men don't marry at all or don't marry women who are Muslim.
As far as ex-cons are concerned, that is irrelevant, but I think that many men who have been to prison don't want women anymore.
this is just my personal opinion
in places like Atlanta their is a large AA muslim community. but in other places the immigrant muslims are the majority. So if a AA wants to find an AA mate it is difficult in the immigrant muslim community.

But many muslim men do marry christian women.
Most muslims prefer to marry from witin their ethnic group. But if this isn't possible then its O.K. to marry a person of different race.
Abderrahman

Casablanca, Morocco

#20 Mar 25, 2008
i am muslim man ,moroccan ;i would be willing to relocate if Allah
wills ,am 44yrs but i look young ,divorced ,have no children but i would
like to have them in the future insha allah .i speak arabic, french
;english ,my level :1st year university as a law student but i did not
complete my studies ,i never smoke ;never drink thanks to Allah ,i think it
is enough for now .i will contact you again insha allah . tell me
about yourself please. i look forward to hearing from you soon.may Allah
bless you my sister.
i pray to Allah to make our dream comes true insha allah.
PS/ i do commerce and i hope that Allah helps me to improve it better
or to bless me with a good woman to whom i can move or relocate to her
and live with her together as a husband and wife if Allah wills .and doing our efforts to educate our children in a islamic way God willing and also doing our endeavours to face this life .
may Allah bless you my sister.
Abderrahman.
[email protected]
PS :i am a muslim man seeking marriage insha Allah

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