Is my white BF ashamed of me because ...

Is my white BF ashamed of me because I am black?

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Valentine

London, UK

#1 Aug 2, 2010
Dear Black People,

I need some advice. I am a thin 26 yrold attractive black former model who is engaged to a richer 47 white male. He is a father of 4 sons. Race has plagued our relationship since we began dating.

* He told me that he never new blacks existed till me met me ( he lives in Germany and has a black female housekeeper )
*He said that even though I am dark skin, I am still similar to him.
*He is obsessed with Halle Berry. When we were in LA, he kept going on how he thinks he has seen her.
*His eldest son teen son was angry and said...…'' I do not want you dating a black woman '' His youngest preteen son said......…'' why did you not explain to me she was black''........A week after I left.
* His white employees and associates do not talk to me; and when they do, they are rude, sarcastic and offensive — on purpose. They are super racist.
* There was a picture of a white twin and a mixed race black twin. I picked the black twin and he shouted at me and accused me of hating ALL white blonde babies.
*Though I was born and raised in Europe, he tried to lecture me on how things are done in the western world.
* His children are rude to me
* He bought an apartment in America for our new home and sent his two female white interior team to decorate it: They put pics of his kids up in full glory. They put bikini pictures of me up in the bedroom. They put a picture with my parter and I posing outside a hot restaurant up in the CLOSET. The living room had two huge portraits of white, beautiful models right over the fireplace and near the TV. The only picture of me in the living room........Was a small, nasty picture he had taking of me wearing a huge sunhat, where ONLY my lips were showing. He/they used none of my modeling pictures, or any of my glamourous pictures of me dressed up to the nines at glitzy events. They used a picture of me with my face covered to the lip among a backdrop of huge, pretty white women, who both of us do not know.

I am hurt and need advice.
Valentine
London, UK
shonda

United States

#3 Aug 2, 2010
I responded to this post. You're an arm piece and you will probably never be accepted. If you're willing to put up with the abuse of his children, that's the price you pay when you're with someone for money. If you were with him out of love, you wouldn't put up with any of it.
Midnight Toker

United States

#4 Aug 2, 2010
Probably what WM would not be. A man's women is a direct reflection of him so not good for him.
KIP

San Francisco, CA

#5 Aug 2, 2010
Valentine wrote:
Dear Black People,
I need some advice. I am a thin 26 yrold attractive black former model who is engaged to a richer 47 white male. He is a father of 4 sons. Race has plagued our relationship since we began dating.
* He told me that he never new blacks existed till me met me ( he lives in Germany and has a black female housekeeper )
*He said that even though I am dark skin, I am still similar to him.
*He is obsessed with Halle Berry. When we were in LA, he kept going on how he thinks he has seen her.
*His eldest son teen son was angry and said...…'' I do not want you dating a black woman '' His youngest preteen son said......…'' why did you not explain to me she was black''........A week after I left.
* His white employees and associates do not talk to me; and when they do, they are rude, sarcastic and offensive — on purpose. They are super racist.
* There was a picture of a white twin and a mixed race black twin. I picked the black twin and he shouted at me and accused me of hating ALL white blonde babies.
*Though I was born and raised in Europe, he tried to lecture me on how things are done in the western world.
* His children are rude to me
* He bought an apartment in America for our new home and sent his two female white interior team to decorate it: They put pics of his kids up in full glory. They put bikini pictures of me up in the bedroom. They put a picture with my parter and I posing outside a hot restaurant up in the CLOSET. The living room had two huge portraits of white, beautiful models right over the fireplace and near the TV. The only picture of me in the living room........Was a small, nasty picture he had taking of me wearing a huge sunhat, where ONLY my lips were showing. He/they used none of my modeling pictures, or any of my glamourous pictures of me dressed up to the nines at glitzy events. They used a picture of me with my face covered to the lip among a backdrop of huge, pretty white women, who both of us do not know.
I am hurt and need advice.
Valentine
London, UK
Not all if this sounds attributable to race.

The guy is 21 years older than you for one thing. Secondly, his associates might see you as a gold digger. If race has plagued the relationship, then why are you still in it? Wouldn't it make more sense to spend time with someone who doesn't have this kind of baggage? You haven't mentioned anything about compatibility or love, so the issue of money comes to mind again.

Are you in this for the money?
David

UK

#6 Aug 2, 2010
I would sleep with a hot black women but i don't want my friends/family to know about her,and i don't want to be seen with her on public
valentine

London, UK

#7 Aug 2, 2010
KIP wrote:
<quoted text>
Not all if this sounds attributable to race.
The guy is 21 years older than you for one thing. Secondly, his associates might see you as a gold digger. If race has plagued the relationship, then why are you still in it? Wouldn't it make more sense to spend time with someone who doesn't have this kind of baggage? You haven't mentioned anything about compatibility or love, so the issue of money comes to mind again.
Are you in this for the money?
So you are pinning the blame on me? Of course i am not in it for money, naturally I date men of affluence, but most women would date a sucessful man. From 16 to 25 i was a working model. I did well, saved hardcore, and invested in property. I obviously will not date a deadbeat would I? How many models do? Please do not try and play the gold digger card because that is not it. Eastern European girls have swarmed London and they are trained golddigers escaping poverty, no one would treat them like this would they?
So To Know

Harvey, LA

#8 Aug 2, 2010
Valentine my dear. This relationship is not going to work at this rate. He needs to be the buffer, or better yet, your defender against all those who oppose this relationship. It is up to him to establish respect for you from others in his life. Once he has established that he will defend you against all who offend you, then you can now stand tall and demand respect for yourself from them. Not that you don't respect yourself, but there needs to be a strong front when dealing with racism faced when in an IR relationship. This segment of your foundation is lacking. Note that I said a segment of the foundation.

Another problem I see is that he himself harbors some racist tendencies. The comment about you hating ALL white blonde children was indicative of his true feeling of superior thinking. Although he enjoys you as a person individuallly, he still somehow thinks you are in need of further instruction in Western life eventhough you were born in the West. There is no respect in this relationship from all parties outside of yourself.

Taking this abuse will eventually beat you down. The negative perceptions of yourself they try to push on you will eventually lead you to think of yourself as "not enough". Not smart enough, not pretty enough, not thoughful enough, ect. NO relationshiop can be healthy if there is a burden of this kind of abuse and neglect. If he hasn't realized your worth and intelligence of your people, then you make him realize by the way in which you depart from this arrangement. Step away while you can with dignity, self respect, pride for your race of people, and class. Keep your head up and refuse to have your people disrespected and your feelings trampled on. LEAVE!
Just Needed a Drink

United States

#9 Aug 2, 2010
Valentine wrote:
Dear Black People,

Valentine
London, UK
DEAR BLACK PEOPLE????
Is this how people in the UK talk? LMAO. Thats just wrong. Like "black people" are relationship gurus.

I'm going to feed the troll for a minute a reply to the OP.

Reasons why he might be ashamed of you:

A. You don't have the whitest smile...its like some horrible vintage color you see on manilla tile.
B. You happen to have b.o.(up there and DOWN there). That right there would make anyone ashamed to be with you knowing that have to tongue towel that nasty thing you call a choch. I mean I'm just sayin'.
C. You have a face like a horse? While I do feel this reason would be self explanatory it doesn't hurt to look in the mirror. Do you have a face like a horse?

or finally
D. If all of the above is false, than you just might not be black enough. I'm serious. He tells his mom that he is dating a black person and what does he have to show for it? Some wannabe Thandie Newton Mary Poppins chick.
Yea put a little bit of neck rollin' and arm wavin' in your gestures and you might rekindle the fire.

Kip

“Brian's alter ego”

Level 7

Since: Feb 07

San Francisco, CA

#10 Aug 2, 2010
valentine wrote:
<quoted text>
So you are pinning the blame on me? Of course i am not in it for money, naturally I date men of affluence, but most women would date a sucessful man. From 16 to 25 i was a working model. I did well, saved hardcore, and invested in property. I obviously will not date a deadbeat would I? How many models do? Please do not try and play the gold digger card because that is not it. Eastern European girls have swarmed London and they are trained golddigers escaping poverty, no one would treat them like this would they?
No, I'm not pinning blame on you. However you are the one asking whether or not the guy is embarrassed to be seen with you. If he is and it's his fault, then there wont be much you can do to change him if this is what you think you can do. You say you are a model and all, but your situation is anything but a model relationship. You say you don't date deadbeats, so you shouldnt't settle for this arrangement either. As affluent as the guy is he doesn't seem to offer you any real security. As far as girls from easteren europe are concerned, you don't really know how anyone is being treated. Appearances are deceiving. You don't know who is getting beaten or who's on cocaine. You don't know who's been puking to stay thin or whatever. You need to live by your own standards and not by how you think other women are being treated.
BlackGoddess

Waterloo, Canada

#11 Aug 3, 2010
You're a disgusting racist and you should be ashamed of yourself. You basically hate black women just because we are black. Why? We don't need acceptance from you worthless rednecks or anyone else.
Midnight Toker wrote:
Probably what WM would not be. A man's women is a direct reflection of him so not good for him.

“kIgziaber wediya tilik man ale”

Since: Jun 09

3rd rock from the sun

#12 Aug 3, 2010
valentine, you already know the answer in your heart, move on!
Midnight Toker

United States

#13 Aug 3, 2010
BlackGoddess wrote:
You're a disgusting racist and you should be ashamed of yourself. You basically hate black women just because we are black. Why? We don't need acceptance from you worthless rednecks or anyone else. <quoted text>
I am a realist Shaquita unlike your crazy ass :) I don't hate BW but you women are unattractive, unkempt, uncivilized and bottom barrel. Even your own men don't want you why the hell would a successfull WM with options?

Since: Nov 08

Hamilton, Canada

#14 Aug 3, 2010
Your second thread saying the same thing. Someone is in denial.
BlackGoddess

Waterloo, Canada

#16 Aug 3, 2010
I agree that you're right about most black women... We are that way. But let's be honest, most people these days are trash, regardless of race. If I said that ALL white men were toothless, dimwitted, hideous morons that carried offensive odors just because I've met a LOT of white men who fit that description, you'd call me a bigot, right?

So why are you judging all black women? Just because someone is born a certain way doesn't mean you're any better than them.

And what sort of white man spends time bashing black women on the internet?

There's something you aren't telling us. Why do you hate black women, seriously?
Midnight Toker wrote:
<quoted text>
I am a realist Shaquita unlike your crazy ass :) I don't hate BW but you women are unattractive, unkempt, uncivilized and bottom barrel. Even your own men don't want you why the hell would a successfull WM with options?
Midnight Toker

United States

#17 Aug 3, 2010
BlackGoddess wrote:
I agree that you're right about most black women... We are that way. But let's be honest, most people these days are trash, regardless of race. If I said that ALL white men were toothless, dimwitted, hideous morons that carried offensive odors just because I've met a LOT of white men who fit that description, you'd call me a bigot, right?
So why are you judging all black women? Just because someone is born a certain way doesn't mean you're any better than them.
And what sort of white man spends time bashing black women on the internet?
There's something you aren't telling us. Why do you hate black women, seriously?<quoted text>
Yes most are and the WM you speak of are republicans :) Not bashing but giving reality which is lacking here. The stats on BW and what other men think of BW are no secret and are not unfounded.

I don't hate BW I hate the majority collective behavior. If it doesn't apply specifically no offense should be taken but come on you see the mess alot of BW are.
BlackGoddess

Waterloo, Canada

#18 Aug 3, 2010
So does degrading a group of women because of their race make you feel good about yourself?

Why should it matter what most men think of us? Most black men are worthless and most white men are unattractive, yet I don't degrade EVERY black or white man because of these facts.

Why offer your opinion without a solution?

Just admit it: You degrade black women because you're a racist and you thrive on mindless hate.

If you weren't a racist you would only dislike bad black women, not all of us.
Midnight Toker wrote:
<quoted text>
Yes most are and the WM you speak of are republicans :) Not bashing but giving reality which is lacking here. The stats on BW and what other men think of BW are no secret and are not unfounded.
I don't hate BW I hate the majority collective behavior. If it doesn't apply specifically no offense should be taken but come on you see the mess alot of BW are.
BlackGoddess

Waterloo, Canada

#21 Aug 3, 2010
There's a hint of venom in your tone.

A black woman rejected you.
Dud Twenties wrote:
<quoted text>he probably means your behaviour, especially in public. Also, you are a CHUMP for believing the absurd story that started this. But it seems some BW like you are noisy, obnoxious and violent, and always ready to scream "Racist" when people won't agree with you. Also, men get such a shock when they take you home and the WIG comes off, they usually run.
Abi

Dallas, TX

#22 Dec 1, 2013
Sounds like a head ache and that he doesn't have your back. Who wants to live with that. Sounds like you already know he isn't the one and you feel betrayed. Nothing about this guy, his narrow up bringing or his friends/family compliment your relationship. I would run far away from that man. He is obviously conflicted and needs to either suck it up and love you for who you are or go back to dating Caucasian women and live a miserable life. Just seems a little weird for a man who wants to marry you to be so condescending.
Blacks Are Worthless

Miami, FL

#24 Dec 1, 2013
@Valentine, you have to realize that this mans family, friends & business associates are not as gullible as he is & will never allow him to marry you, so you best move on before you get arrested for extortion, your passport gets yanked & your black ass is shipped back to Africa where you belong.
michele

Houston, TX

#25 Dec 1, 2013
Valentine wrote:
Dear Black People,
I need some advice. I am a thin 26 yrold attractive black former model who is engaged to a richer 47 white male. He is a father of 4 sons. Race has plagued our relationship since we began dating.
* He told me that he never new blacks existed till me met me ( he lives in Germany and has a black female housekeeper )
*He said that even though I am dark skin, I am still similar to him.
*He is obsessed with Halle Berry. When we were in LA, he kept going on how he thinks he has seen her.
*His eldest son teen son was angry and said...…'' I do not want you dating a black woman '' His youngest preteen son said......…'' why did you not explain to me she was black''........A week after I left.
* His white employees and associates do not talk to me; and when they do, they are rude, sarcastic and offensive — on purpose. They are super racist.
* There was a picture of a white twin and a mixed race black twin. I picked the black twin and he shouted at me and accused me of hating ALL white blonde babies.
*Though I was born and raised in Europe, he tried to lecture me on how things are done in the western world.
* His children are rude to me
* He bought an apartment in America for our new home and sent his two female white interior team to decorate it: They put pics of his kids up in full glory. They put bikini pictures of me up in the bedroom. They put a picture with my parter and I posing outside a hot restaurant up in the CLOSET. The living room had two huge portraits of white, beautiful models right over the fireplace and near the TV. The only picture of me in the living room........Was a small, nasty picture he had taking of me wearing a huge sunhat, where ONLY my lips were showing. He/they used none of my modeling pictures, or any of my glamourous pictures of me dressed up to the nines at glitzy events. They used a picture of me with my face covered to the lip among a backdrop of huge, pretty white women, who both of us do not know.
I am hurt and need advice.
Valentine
London, UK
Poor white inbred, in your dreams would a black woman take this treatment just to be with you.

go Kill yourself.

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