SNL: Hillary Clinton: "I Have No Ethical Standards"

[Whos Your Daddy]

NEW YORK, NY—New York Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton's anticipated run for the presidency in 2008 got a major boost yesterday when she received the first major endorsement of the political season: from the Devil. News of the endorsement became known last night when the Devil phoned into the late-night radio program of the Fox News' Alan Colmes to announce his decision.

This is the first time that the Devil has officially endorsed a candidate, although he is believed to have played a behind-the-scenes role in several earlier races including Richard M. Nixon's campaign for re-election in 1972, the lopsided contest between Walter "Fritz" Mondale and Ronald Reagan in 1984, and the 2002 run for Congress by Florida's Katherine Harris. No announcement has been made on whether Ms. Harris will again receive Satanic support when she runs for Senate in 2006.

GOP and Hell like 'Hill'
A spokesperson for Senator Clinton declined to make an official statement about the Devil's endorsement but noted that Mrs. Clinton has significantly broadened her support in the past two years and has strong support among some Republicans including former House Majority Leader Newt Gingrich.

"We're obviously pleased and flattered to get a vote of confidence no matter where it comes from." As for whether the endorsement surprised 'Team Hillary,' the spokesperson acknowledged that "The Senator is increasingly popular among Republicans, including some of those at the top level of the party hierarchy."

More endorsements likely
According to political insiders, though, Mrs. Clinton shouldn't get too comfortable being the sole designee of 'brand Beelzebub.' With the 2008 field already cluttered with likely contenders, more endorsements from the A-list fallen angel are a near certainty. And while Mrs. Clinton was an obvious first choice—her name recognition extends from this world into the next, and both she and her equally famous spouse have been likened to the Devil—second and third choices are already lining up.

Horned beings for Frist
Senate Republican leader Bill Frist would be hard pressed to do worse than win Satanic support for his bid for the Presidency. In a recent poll, only 4% of Americans surveyed said that they would vote for Dr. Frist in the Republican primary if it were held today. That number—well behind other GOP figures including Condoleeza Rice, Jeb Bush, and Vice President Dick Cheney—would almost certainly increase were Dr. Frist to win the official backing of the Devil.

'She'd sell her soul to be President'
As for why the Devil decided to break with tradition and make public his support for a candidate, long-time politicos say that the answer to that question most likely lies with a bestselling new book "The Truth About Hillary," by Edward Klein. The damning expose of the New York Senator, depicting a woman who would 'sell her soul to be President,' has been widely reviewed and is currently #13 on the Amazon.com bestseller list. Among the episodes that likely caught the attention of the Devil: a violent exchange in which the future Mrs. Clinton reveals her taste for blood by punching her then boyfriend in the nose for losing her pet rabbit.

Hillary Clinton is a tool of the Devil
Opponents of Mrs. Clinton, who have long suspected that she is an agent of the Devil, say that they are relieved to have finally received official confirmation that she is indeed backed by Beelzebub. Bumper stickers and buttons sporting the slogan "Hillary Clinton is a tool of the Devil" are reportedly already selling briskly.

[smithnya]

sigh*

here we go again with Democrats nominating an unelectable. One is a woman which many people hate for purely personal reasons, and the other a black man people won't vote for simply for racial issues.This should be an indictment on the American public.

Say hello to President McCain Americans. Hopefully I can get a work visa for Canada as soon as I finish my career.

[Power_1]

smithnya wrote:

sigh*
here we go again with Democrats nominating an unelectable. One is a woman which many people hate for purely personal reasons, and the other a black man people won't vote for simply for racial issues.This should be an indictment on the American public.
Say hello to President McCain Americans. Hopefully I can get a work visa for Canada as soon as I finish my career.

Hold on your visa Comrade, The republicans have done just as well with an unelectable canidate, so don't buy that ticket yet, you still have your shot at a Socialist Workers paradise here in the good ol USA, where no one but the liberal elite can afford Toilet Paper.
Come on now everyone together "Back in the USSR, you know where you are, back in the USSR."

[Sick N Tired]

negros have been a blight on this country since the boat landed.
they have been dragging america down along.

what do you think a negro prez. is going to do?

he will take america down with himself. why? that's what negros do, destroy eveything they touch.

there will not be one screen door left in america with the screen still in it.

[SAVE US from]

-------- Its all about racists ---
Zionists are crazy and Hillary was so ga ga
with her old reformed KKK Byrd buddy. The
uneducated WVers KYers are understandably
her bedfellows who unintelligently will
pull on those levers for satanic pair
who will ill serve.

The McSames (2fer third termer)
whistler he he heeer

Televangelist John Hagee apologizes to Catholics By JIM KUHNHENN, Associated Press Writer

(Stupid Donohue, Catholic protector, stepping
in line due to fear of Zionist Rule.)

WASHINGTON - John Hagee, an influential Texas televangelist who endorsed John McCain, apologized to Catholics Tuesday for his stinging criticism of the Roman Catholic Church and for having "emphasized the darkest chapters in the history of Catholic and Protestant relations with the Jews."

Hagee's support for McCain has drawn cries of outrage from some Catholic leaders who have called on McCain to reject Hagee's endorsement. The likely Republican nominee has said he does not agree with some of Hagee's past comments, but did not reject his support.

In a letter to William Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Civil and Religious Rights, Hagee wrote: "Out of a desire to advance a greater unity among Catholics and evangelicals in promoting the common good, I want to express my deep regret for any comments that Catholics have found hurtful."

Donohue, one of Hagee's sharpest critics, said he accepted the apology and planned to meet with Hagee Thursday in New York.

"I got what I wanted," Donohue said in an interview. "He's seen the light, as they like to say. So for me it's over."
ITS NOT FOR ME STUPID

The controversy had threatened to pursue McCain throughout the campaign, potentially hurting his standing with Catholic voters. A narrow majority of Roman Catholics voted for President Bush in 2004 and for Al Gore in 2000, critical votes in close elections.

The letter came after Hagee met Friday for lunch in a French restaurant in downtown Washington with 22 influential religious activists, virtually all of them Catholics.

Hagee has cited the Inquisition and the Crusades as evidence of anti-Semitism within the Catholic church and has suggested that Catholic anti-Semitism shaped Adolf Hitler's views of Jews.
----- GERMANS WENT BEZERKOWITZ------Why?---
--giving all they had and then backstabbed ---
"In my zeal to oppose anti-Semitism and bigotry in all its ugly forms, I have often emphasized the darkest chapters in the history of Catholics and Protestant relations with the Jews," Hagee wrote. "In the process, I may have contributed to the mistaken impression that the anti-Jewish violence of the Crusades and the Inquisition defines the Catholic Church. It most certainly does not."

[truthhurts]

Sick N Tired wrote:

negros have been a blight on this country since the boat landed.
they have been dragging america down along.
what do you think a negro prez. is going to do?
he will take america down with himself. why? that's what negros do, destroy eveything they touch.
there will not be one screen door left in america with the screen still in it.

We have people blowing up our soilders and all you can do is talk stupid? Have you 4got about 9-11. come on man stop.

[Magi]

Pikop Andropov wrote:

<quoted text>
Yep, as I said....career politicians. And not just Obama.
That's why my vote goes to Nader. You would be hard pressed to find anyone with higher ethical standards.
But you know what, if the Democratic party loses this November, I will bet a month's pay that they will once again pull out that bucket of hogwash (as they did in 2000) and blame their loss on Nader.

You bet'cha! I'm an old Naderite and took some heavy flack in 2000 from the same folks who derided the 'Publicans for going over to Perot.

[WTF]

Florida1 wrote:

* Obama Damaged by Racist Liberal Elites *
Obama's baggage is radical stuff, things we thought we would never know of from a wholesome christian man.
Obama 08!!

radical stuff like feminists? Oh wait, Hitllery has her own history with radical feminism and feminism in general

[Elton John]

Hey Michael, you used to blow bubbles when you were a kid?

[Michael Jackson]

Yes.

[Elton John]

Well, I ran into him this morning and he says Hi

[Captain Obvious]

Magi wrote:

<quoted text>
You bet'cha! I'm an old Naderite and took some heavy flack in 2000 from the same folks who derided the 'Publicans for going over to Perot.

One of these years, enough people will be sick of Tweedledumb and Tweedledee and vote for the None Of The Above Party.

Maybe Bloomberg will run. Then we'll have some fun.

[Chike Ogugua]

Barack Hussein Obama - Arab-American, only 6.25% African


Barack Hussein Obama is not half black. If elected, he would be the first Arab-American President, not the first black President. Barack Hussein Obama is 50% Caucasian from his mother's side and 43.75% Arabic and 6.25% African Negro from his father's side. While Barack Hussein Obama's father was from Kenya, his father's family was mainly Arabs. Barack Hussein Obama's father was only 12.5% African Negro and 87.5% Arab (his father's birth certificate even states he's Arab, not African Negro).

What does this mean? Maybe nothing. But, why is Obama trying to hide this? Why does he try to hide is middle name? Why does he try to hide the religious Muslim school he attented as a child in Indonesia? Why doesn't he set the record straight that he wouldn't be the first black President? Why so many cover-ups and hiding of the truth?

Further, at only 6.25% African Negro, would he even be the first President who was part black? Not at all! Our 3rd President, Thomas Jefferson was our first part black President. And he's not alone, Andrew Jackson, Abraham Lincoln, Warren Harding and Calvin Coolidge were also part black.

President Andrew Jackson was the son of an Irish woman who married a black man. Andrew Jackson was such a high percentage black that his oldest brother was sold as a slave!

President Abraham Lincoln was the illegitimate son of an African man, he had very dark skin and coarse hair and his mother also allegedly came from an Ethiopian tribe. His heritage fueled so much controversy that Lincoln was nicknamed "Abraham Africanus the First" by his opponents.

President Warren Harding never even denied claims that he was black, because he had black ancestors between both sets of parents and he attended Iberia College, a school founded to educate fugitive slaves.

President Calvin Coolidge was proud of his heritage and claimed his mother was dark because of mixed Indian ancestry. Coolidge's mother's maiden name was "Moor" and in Europe the name "Moor" was given to all blacks just as "Negro" was used in America.

[samantha]

your gonna lose loser!!!!!!!!!!

[naija]

Chike Ogugua wrote:

Barack Hussein Obama - Arab-American, only 6.25% African
Barack Hussein Obama is not half black. If elected, he would be the first Arab-American President, not the first black President. Barack Hussein Obama is 50% Caucasian from his mother's side and 43.75% Arabic and 6.25% African Negro from his father's side. While Barack Hussein Obama's father was from Kenya, his father's family was mainly Arabs. Barack Hussein Obama's father was only 12.5% African Negro and 87.5% Arab (his father's birth certificate even states he's Arab, not African Negro).
What does this mean? Maybe nothing. But, why is Obama trying to hide this? Why does he try to hide is middle name? Why does he try to hide the religious Muslim school he attented as a child in Indonesia? Why doesn't he set the record straight that he wouldn't be the first black President? Why so many cover-ups and hiding of the truth?
Further, at only 6.25% African Negro, would he even be the first President who was part black? Not at all! Our 3rd President, Thomas Jefferson was our first part black President. And he's not alone, Andrew Jackson, Abraham Lincoln, Warren Harding and Calvin Coolidge were also part black.
President Andrew Jackson was the son of an Irish woman who married a black man. Andrew Jackson was such a high percentage black that his oldest brother was sold as a slave!
President Abraham Lincoln was the illegitimate son of an African man, he had very dark skin and coarse hair and his mother also allegedly came from an Ethiopian tribe. His heritage fueled so much controversy that Lincoln was nicknamed "Abraham Africanus the First" by his opponents.
President Warren Harding never even denied claims that he was black, because he had black ancestors between both sets of parents and he attended Iberia College, a school founded to educate fugitive slaves.
President Calvin Coolidge was proud of his heritage and claimed his mother was dark because of mixed Indian ancestry. Coolidge's mother's maiden name was "Moor" and in Europe the name "Moor" was given to all blacks just as "Negro" was used in America.

You need help dude!In 1000 years there will be a black president in USA

[Bulldog]

Dr Kevorkian I presume wrote:

Don't take this election too seriously folks. Things will get better 'cause they can't get worse.
It won't be the first time I voted third-party. If you take time to get a good explanation of how the president is elected you will see what I mean. Your vote, officially, counts for nothing. It is a non-binding, non-enforceable suggestion to your state legislature that they send a person who has made a non-binding, unenforceable pledge to vote for a particular person.
Guess what? The state legislature can throw out the results of any presidential "election" and send whoever they want as "pledged" delegates to the electoral college. Each of them, in turn, can tell the states to shove it and elect the dog catcher, if they wish.
Now, I said I believe in third-party votes. Here's why. The electoral college works. Just don't believe politicians when they tell you how it works. It doesn't work because of your vote but because the method of election requires a successful candidate to achieve a measure of national balance which gives small otherwise powerless groups in states much more power IF THEY VOTE AS A BLOC BUT NOT ALWAYS FOR THE SAME PARTY!(Make 'em work to get your bloc's vote.)
Remember, any vote over 50% plus one doesn't add anything to the final outcome. If two large blocs split the vote almost 50-50 a small not yet committed group controls the outcome for that state. A third-party can nominate the same candidates as a major party but voting the third-party gives you a chance to show you just might be willing to switch at the next election if you're ignored.
See you in Novermber, folks.

Yea that's on the democrate side if you care to check it out the republicans don't do that. Instead they take the vote and apply it as to what the people want.
therefore the people have a sayso in who gets elected.

[larry g]

Walter wrote:

<quoted text>
He's just going by your IP address under your name to the left there.

SHHHH don't tell him , let him think I'm psychic .

[Hillary]

OK, some are saying I should leave the race at this point. Yes! But I have absolutely no plans to drop out whatsoever. Why should I? I am taking this all the way to the end of the primaries, to the convention, and to the election in November. This is just too important! The media are saying that I can't win, but I owe it to the millions of voters that have joined me in this fight to continue my ascension to the white house. Here is my plan how I will still win this thing:

According to the latest totals on CNN, Obama has 1,881 total convention delegates to my 1713, giving him a lead of 168. Michigan and Florida WILL count, which brings his lead down to 46. They just CANNOT be disenfranchised. OK. Then if the DNC rules committee were to also decide to count West Virginia just 6 times instead of only once it would propel me into the lead by 4 full votes. That's all it would take.
You know, I was talking to the voters in West Virginia last week and a woman came up to me and told me how she wished she could vote for me more than once. It almost broke my heart, but that also got me thinking: no democratic candidate has won the presidency without West Virginia since 1916. It's people are the core of America: hard working, uneducated, and white. They SHOULD count more than other states. Looking at those West Virginia voters faces during my glorious victory speech last night, they were happy, yes, but there was an emptiness in knowing that their votes would count just once. We need to give these voters their full due respect by giving them each 6 votes. My campaign will make our case to the DNC rules committee on May 31. I'm sure the honorable members will agree that to deny our claim would be to deny the hard working, uneducated, white people throughout the entire country!

[MarkL5]

caliperman wrote:

Why do IDIOTS want the next president to drop out? Is it because you want the scumbag, Idiot Obama, who has no morals, or scruples at all? He lies with every breath he takes, is a racist,is a muslim and lies about it. He wants to be a dictator, so let's tieup the idiot and his wife, and send them to Iraq or Iran, and let him spew his filth there, and see it they will let him be their dictator.

Caliperman has NO morals or scruples at all. He lies with every breath he takes, is a racist and a facist and wants to have sex with children, so lets time him up and send him to a prison full of inmates who have been sexually abused and allow him to spew his filth there and lets see how he likes taking it up the rear!

See how easy that is?

You know NOTHING of Obama except you hate him. Keep it to your self, Spanky.

[Concerned]

caliperman wrote:

Why do IDIOTS want the next president to drop out? Is it because you want the scumbag, Idiot Obama, who has no morals, or scruples at all? He lies with every breath he takes, is a racist,is a muslim and lies about it. He wants to be a dictator, so let's tieup the idiot and his wife, and send them to Iraq or Iran, and let him spew his filth there, and see it they will let him be their dictator.

You are INSANE!!