Setting The Story Straight: BW and WM...

Setting The Story Straight: BW and WM Relationships.

Posted in the African-American Forum

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Level 5

Since: Apr 11

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#1 May 10, 2011
As everyone who has seen me may know, I date both interracially as well as within my race. I have noticed a lot of forums giving BW and WM relationships a bad name. I have also see forums which only glorify interracially relationships and disregard any adversity that these couples may face.

Generalization: BW who are with WM are easy and are being used only for sex.

Fact: Yes, racially fetishes occur all the time. It comes with the territory. However, there are self-respecting BW who are not just going to settle for what is thrown at them. Within the first month, it is usually apparent what a WM motives are for dating BW. Many WM are not going to waste time on a BW they feel is too difficult to attain sexually, if they are looking for only sex. It is up to BW to determine if these men are capable of developing a strong relationship built on love, respect, endurance and progression.

Generalization: BW seek WM for monetary gains.

Fact: Yes, there are many who do; however, there are plenty of good BW who want a man who has potential and is willing to strive for the same things. I was taught by my parents to choose a man(no race mentioned) who can provide you with security, stability and love.He doesn't have to be the richest man, but he need to have potential to provide for his family.

Generalization: BW women who are with WM hate BM.

Fact: Yes, there are black people who use their choice of the race of their partner as a means to disparage each other. However, you have BW and BM who find their people beautiful, but happened to find a beautiful relationship with someone who happened to be of another ethnicity. Also, demographics can come into place as well. If you live amongst mostly white people, who are you mostly likely to date? And then again,it you live amongst many of your own people, but happen to find love outside of your ethnicity.

Generalization: BW women are with WM because they hate being black.

Fact: You have some black women who attempt to change their whole identity to fit into what they feel is an acceptable self image. However, when I usually see BW with WM, these women usually are from Africa and are strong in their culture or they have a very natural look to them(minimal make up and natural hair). Many of these women that these WM are choosing obviously do not have an issue with their natural appearance. In fact, when I went natural, I had more WM asking me out than ever before.

Generalization: BW women who are with WM want weak men.

Fact: There are women like the black woman on "Wife Swap," who laid in the bed after work while her husband played "house wife". That woman is c-r-a-z-y. Any real man will not put a dress on. I don't date weak men. In fact, most of the WM who I date often want me to know they are mens' men and are masculine. Others who are not considered as masculine, want me to know how intelligent they are.

Generalization: Only wealthy or famous BW date WM.

Fact: I have found myself buying into this because I can only go by what I see.

I have put what I feel are WM choice in BW into these categories:

Passionate: These women are often considered very cultured or "lively."

Exotic: From what I have seen more WM choose BW from Africa and the Caribbean than from the U.S. They still choose AA, but it not in as high rate. Also, I see more WM with darker BW. I dated a WM who complemented me and said he liked "dark skin." Let's keep in mind, white people's view of dark skin is different.

Acceptable: Black women who are properly spoken are viewed as more acceptable by most white people who I know.

Beautiful: It is not uncommon for WM to attempt to date very beautiful BW, even if they are not considered attractive themselves.

Good personality: Just a good woman all around. Giving, caring and nurturing.

Submissive: There are WM who want other groups of women who are considered docile and good homemakers.

This isn't all inclusive, just my view.

xSainTx
Level 1

Since: May 11

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#2 May 10, 2011
Question for the OP... Do black women talk about anything other than relationships and IR?

Black women are so lame and shallow. Everyone is well rounded and discuss many different things from politics to intellectual things and many many different subjects, but black only talk about IR.

This is why no one wants a black women. You're too shallow. The white women on this forum cover a ton of topics, but the bw only want to discuss IR.

What a lame bunch of single women.

“I love being a Black Man”

Level 8

Since: Nov 09

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#3 May 10, 2011
So basically you are confirming every negative stereotype about Black Women that date White men?

“I love being a Black Man”

Level 8

Since: Nov 09

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#4 May 10, 2011
xSainTx wrote:
Question for the OP... Do black women talk about anything other than relationships and IR?
Black women are so lame and shallow. Everyone is well rounded and discuss many different things from politics to intellectual things and many many different subjects, but black only talk about IR.
This is why no one wants a black women. You're too shallow. The white women on this forum cover a ton of topics, but the bw only want to discuss IR.
What a lame bunch of single women.
Or maybe lame women constantly go online and chat about those subjects.

You can't paint everyone with a broad brush.

Level 5

Since: Apr 11

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#6 May 10, 2011
MumRa wrote:
So basically you are confirming every negative stereotype about Black Women that date White men?
No. I am saying that there are women who are guilty of these things, but then again there are many women who are good women who are with WM. I feel that BW dating WM get a lot of negative flack.

I also mentioned that I can only speak from my own experience.

Level 5

Since: Apr 11

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#7 May 10, 2011
xSainTx wrote:
Question for the OP... Do black women talk about anything other than relationships and IR?
Black women are so lame and shallow. Everyone is well rounded and discuss many different things from politics to intellectual things and many many different subjects, but black only talk about IR.
This is why no one wants a black women. You're too shallow. The white women on this forum cover a ton of topics, but the bw only want to discuss IR.
What a lame bunch of single women.
Im discussing this because I have never seen any forum which talks about the negative flack BW get for being in IR relationships. I contribute to other topics too, but I want to come forward as someone who has been there to say that enough is enough. I may be stirring toward this topic because it seems to be a good 75% of the African African Forum and it has all been negative. I will admit that.

xSainTx
Level 1

Since: May 11

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#8 May 10, 2011
VirgoSLC wrote:
<quoted text>No. I am saying that there are women who are guilty of these things, but then again there are many women who are good women who are with WM. I feel that BW dating WM get a lot of negative flack.
I also mentioned that I can only speak from my own experience.
Black women are 70% single because no one wants to hear you talk about IR relationships all the time.

Black women are DEAD LAST to be picked in IR, yet they talk about the most.

Black women are sad and boring and can't discuss anything other than IR and Bi racials.

The modern day black woman is sad as they come.

Level 5

Since: Apr 11

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#9 May 10, 2011
Correction. I have never seen a forum that combats the negative stereotypes and generalizations of IR couples. Its all about who is better, who is bad, who is ugly, who is pretty. People want to know why this and that.

“I love being a Black Man”

Level 8

Since: Nov 09

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#10 May 10, 2011
VirgoSLC wrote:
<quoted text>No. I am saying that there are women who are guilty of these things, but then again there are many women who are good women who are with WM. I feel that BW dating WM get a lot of negative flack.
I also mentioned that I can only speak from my own experience.
Some IRBW get a lot of flack because of their own doing. I'm sure you have seen the various websites, and forums. These IRBW are not innocent victims.

It's unfortunate, that even-head woman such as yourself. Don't necessarily speak up.

xSainTx
Level 1

Since: May 11

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#11 May 10, 2011
VirgoSLC wrote:
<quoted text>
Im discussing this because I have never seen any forum which talks about the negative flack BW get for being in IR relationships. I contribute to other topics too, but I want to come forward as someone who has been there to say that enough is enough. I may be stirring toward this topic because it seems to be a good 75% of the African African Forum and it has all been negative. I will admit that.
Because nobody cares about IR other than BW, and the funny thing is is that you are THE LAST OPTION for all men in ir.

You're making yourselves look silly.

xSainTx
Level 1

Since: May 11

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#14 May 10, 2011
VirgoSLC wrote:
Correction. I have never seen a forum that combats the negative stereotypes and generalizations of IR couples. Its all about who is better, who is bad, who is ugly, who is pretty. People want to know why this and that.
99% of the black women who talk about IR relationships aren't even in a relationship at all. Most are just single and looking to complain to bm. We get it. Everybody in the world understands that everyone wants black women and nothing is black women's fault, and everyone is jealous of bw...even though 70% of you all are single, you are the LAST option to be picked for ir, and you lack the ability to discuss anything other than IR.

Give it a rest already. Black women have destroyed ir. and kill the topic of ir also.

Level 5

Since: Apr 11

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#15 May 10, 2011
xSainTx wrote:
<quoted text>
Black women are 70% single because no one wants to hear you talk about IR relationships all the time.
Black women are DEAD LAST to be picked in IR, yet they talk about the most.
Black women are sad and boring and can't discuss anything other than IR and Bi racials.
The modern day black woman is sad as they come.
I haven't experienced that. Would you like to actually have a discussion rather than generalized put downs? I don't feel you do.

Level 5

Since: Apr 11

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#16 May 10, 2011
xSainTx wrote:
<quoted text>
99% of the black women who talk about IR relationships aren't even in a relationship at all. Most are just single and looking to complain to bm. We get it. Everybody in the world understands that everyone wants black women and nothing is black women's fault, and everyone is jealous of bw...even though 70% of you all are single, you are the LAST option to be picked for ir, and you lack the ability to discuss anything other than IR.
Give it a rest already. Black women have destroyed ir. and kill the topic of ir also.
If you feel that way, don't post on IR forums. When you post on them, they go straight to the top of the line. No one is forcing you to even look to see what is inside. I feel you are a gripper and many resolution oriented people view that as unattractive.

xSainTx
Level 1

Since: May 11

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#17 May 10, 2011
confess2ademon wrote:
Why are there so many threads with the same bullshyat topic
Black women don't have the ability to discuss anything else.

xSainTx
Level 1

Since: May 11

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#18 May 10, 2011
VirgoSLC wrote:
<quoted text>
I haven't experienced that. Would you like to actually have a discussion rather than generalized put downs? I don't feel you do.
There's nothing left to discuss. This subject has been ran into the ground by black women. Black women destroyed destroyed the possibility of having any type of dialogue with anyone with their outright childish behavior regarding the subjects of ir and relationships in general. No one wants to hear black women and illusions and the obsessions with ir.

xSainTx
Level 1

Since: May 11

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#20 May 10, 2011
VirgoSLC wrote:
<quoted text>
If you feel that way, don't post on IR forums. When you post on them, they go straight to the top of the line. No one is forcing you to even look to see what is inside. I feel you are a gripper and many resolution oriented people view that as unattractive.
This isn't an IR forum you idiot!

They have a forum designated for discussions about IR. Go there and discuss it. We've all grown tired of black women beating this discussion into the ground. You can't even have an honest discussion with black women because of the outright blatant lies you all tell. Give it a rest, ask your sistas to start discussing something else and maybe men won't see as the un intellectual
IR robots that you've turned into.

Level 5

Since: Apr 11

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#21 May 10, 2011
xSainTx wrote:
<quoted text>
There's nothing left to discuss. This subject has been ran into the ground by black women. Black women destroyed destroyed the possibility of having any type of dialogue with anyone with their outright childish behavior regarding the subjects of ir and relationships in general. No one wants to hear black women and illusions and the obsessions with ir.
Well, if there is nothing to discuss, find a forum where you can discuss something you like to talk about.

Level 5

Since: Apr 11

Location hidden

#22 May 10, 2011
confess2ademon wrote:
<quoted text>
Its an ego trip most likely to give their relationship some validity. Its all a farce and these people in IR relationships aren't really in love. Their just using their partner as a pawn to garner a reaction from their ethnicity but the opposite gender. People enjoy making others jealous. It make them feel wanted and what a great catch they are. WHEN IN REALITY THEY AREN'T. Otherwise they would have attracted the creme of the crop of their own ethnic group. Beauty, brains, wisdom the whole kit n kaboodle.
Not all though because there are genuine IR relationships out there. Where both parties carry no hate. They're just fortunate to have someone to love, and more importantly HAVE IT RETURNED. They couldn't care less what others think.
There are a lot of phonies out there.
I agree. I just wanted to create this forum because I see a lot of negative posts which are really draining if you constantly see negative, negative, negative.

xSainTx
Level 1

Since: May 11

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#23 May 10, 2011
VirgoSLC wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree. I just wanted to create this forum because I see a lot of negative posts which are really draining if you constantly see negative, negative, negative.
Link us to thread you started where you call out the IRBW gang here for their BM bashing. That's the negative part of ir. Any thing else no one cares about and black women know this. The only reason why anybody ever even posts in the ir threads is because black women make it a point to bash BM in every one of their posts. IRBW bash BM more than they talk about their non black men in the IR threads.

So again, link to the posts where you call them out on it. Because in all honesty that's where the IR negativity comes from.

White November
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Since: Nov 10

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#24 May 10, 2011
VirgoSLC wrote:
I have put what I feel are WM choice in BW into these categories:
Passionate: These women are often considered very cultured or "lively."
Exotic: From what I have seen more WM choose BW from Africa and the Caribbean than from the U.S. They still choose AA, but it not in as high rate. Also, I see more WM with darker BW. I dated a WM who complemented me and said he liked "dark skin." Let's keep in mind, white people's view of dark skin is different.
Acceptable: Black women who are properly spoken are viewed as more acceptable by most white people who I know.
Beautiful: It is not uncommon for WM to attempt to date very beautiful BW, even if they are not considered attractive themselves.
Good personality: Just a good woman all around. Giving, caring and nurturing.
Submissive: There are WM who want other groups of women who are considered docile and good homemakers.
This isn't all inclusive, just my view.
i agree with most of what you said, but dont understand what you are saying with this last part. are you saying these are qualities wm are looking for?

if so i dont really agree with the acceptable part. i have dated all types of bw and the one i got pregnant, is ghetto acting. but i didn't have a problem with that. i prefer bw who act black. i'm not with her because of other things, and now happen to be with a bw who does (kind of) act white, but it's never been important to me that a bw is considered 'acceptable' by other whites

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