Black women, what has happened to us??

Black women, what has happened to us??

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“Bow Chika Wow Wow”

Level 4

Since: Sep 12

Location hidden

#1 Apr 2, 2014
This isn't a bashing thread at all, it's one where I hope people can speak honestly about this topic/subject WITHOUT resorting to name calling. I have a few concerns...

1. Black women used to be hailed for having the best bodies of any race, curvacious and slim, or athletic and feminine, etc... So how did we become a race with so many obese women?? When did many Black women stop caring for their bodies and get comfortable just gaining weight? The last time I went to a McDonalds, there were around 5 overweight Black women inside. BIG women. Two had children (who they were affectionately yelling at), one was obese but dressed like she'd come from work, and the others were chubby teens. THIS is common, especially when you look at the stats, or just around at some Black females in general. How did this happen? Why have Black women stopped viewing their bodies as sexy, or as something beautiful to be cared for and managed??

2. Attitudes. I've recently taken nice little journey's into the inner city community near mine only to find that some Black women dislike me. I have been yelled at for things I just don't understand, or talked down to by women working in customer service jobs or whatever. NOT ALL, or even most, but way more often than rude women in other races. Some of them seem power hungry, like they're so anxious to put someone down that they use their jobs to do it.

I asked my grandmother about this, and she says that many African Americans were Not this angry when she was young, and her generation lived through Jim Crow and segregation! She says that it changed around the 1970s when younger Blacks began to speak openly about their issues and then it fueled a culture where struggle is more defining of self than any kind of self motivation or family. People view their Blackness in their suffering and pain. From then to now, you have Blacks raising new generations of victim minded, angry Black youth.

3. All of these many single parent households with young moms. How??? and why?? Birth control is all over and very easy to get, so why is there such a problem of this in our community? Black women, why don't some of us value our bodies enough to birth children from men that we love, and to have a child with more foundation? Has welfare honestly replaced loving relationships for some Black females? What is going on where these women are so apt to just have kids that they KNOW will struggle in life, and when they KNOW the father is not a good guy?? Aren't women supposed to be more nurturing and wanting their children to have the best in life? So what twisted in some Black women to make them lose that?

4. Do the majority of African American women value themselves? Do they FEEL good about who they are? I honestly get the feeling like that answer is no. I really do, and that is sad. I feel like there is a false sense of pride with many, and many will also answer this thread saying that they ARE soooooo confident and happy and many Black women are!... but then where do these issues come from? If these Black women are really all so happy and so confident, then why doesn't any of it show, at all?:(

“Bow Chika Wow Wow”

Level 4

Since: Sep 12

Location hidden

#3 Apr 2, 2014
ugly monkeys wrote:
Black women have never been considered as having the best bodies by the majority. Only black men and black women have declared bw to have the best bodies. Bw are statistically the most obese women in america and only bm are interested in the too big look.
No, in shape Black women have great bodies, and I've heard that from a lot of people. It's just that now obese black women overshadow that stereotypically (& literally lol). You're such a bitter person that i couldn't expect you to admit it anyway, but we all know it.
Ugh

Houston, TX

#4 Apr 2, 2014
Shut up, Monkey. She, at least, got it right about Black Woman's body. They are superior-shaped and well defined but they weaken their own genes by mental defects which collapse their general wholesomeness, beauty by doing things to their body that's destructive.

Also, mating out of their Race is a gene-altering engineering that will see the Black Women losing her edge, and coming down to earth with the rest of the Recessive and Inferior Species of caucasoid traits. This OP stated she is with a Mexican. Mexican have the worst physical shape of all other ethnicity except the pygmies. Lots of deformity, short stature, short in height and nothing of worth as far as gene.

So, she's contributing to the problem of Black Women.

There are more issues and flaws or rocking the BW not listed. Right now, this is a bad era of the American Black Woman. A lot of them just need to breed out into the White ethnicity. We need to be dumping busload of ugly Black women, fat women, IRBW, Defective Black Women to the White Man and force them to mate them and breed them out while we take the better - looking WW to re - build our beauty a little a bit and hope the bi-racial girls stay with Black men.
Blacks Are Worthless

Torrance, CA

#5 Apr 2, 2014
I just love it when self proclaimed socially in tune negroes come on this pathetic internet circus Topix with their pearls of wisdom from some article they just copied & pasted from those two financially bankrupt black media rags Ebony & Essence, negroes, what a tribe.
REDNECK SNAPPER

United States

#8 Apr 2, 2014
Self esteem....one must compare self to others and in doing so, we put others down.

Nobody wants to analyze the synonyms associated with self esteem

Synonyms amour propre, bighead, complacency, conceit, conceitedness, ego, egotism, pomposity, pompousness, pride, pridefulness, self-admiration, self-assumption, self-conceit, self-congratulation, self-esteem, self-glory, self-importance, self-love, self-opinion, self-satisfaction, smugness, swelled head, swellheadedness, vaingloriousness, vainglory, vainness, vanity

Related Words assurance, confidence, self-assurance, self-confidence; self-righteousness; arrogance, disdainfulness, haughtiness, imperiousness, lordliness, self-assertion, snobbishness, superciliousness, superiority; hubris, overconfidence, presumption; pretense (orpretence), pretension, pretentiousness; egoism, self-centeredness, selfishness; self-pride, self-respect
REDNECK SNAPPER

United States

#9 Apr 2, 2014
AA's dehumanize our selves.

"AAM ain't ..."
AAW ain't..."

Dehumanization or  describes the denial of “humanness” to others and is theorized to take on two forms: animalistic dehumanization, which is employed on a largely intergroup basis, and mechanistic dehumanization, which is employed on a largely interpersonal basis.[1] Dehumanization can occur discursively (e.g., idiomatic language that likens certain human beings to non-human animals,verbal abuse, erasing one's voice from discourse), symbolically (e.g., imagery), or physically (e.g., chattel slavery, physical abuse, refusing eye contact). Dehumanization often ignores the target's individuality (i.e., the creative and interesting aspects of his or her personality) and prevents one from showing compassion towards stigmatized groups.[citation needed]

Dehumanization may be carried out by a social institution (such as a state, school, or family), interpersonally, or even within the self. Dehumanization can be unintentional, especially on the part of individuals, as with some types of de facto racism. State-organized dehumanization has historically been directed against perceived political, racial, ethnic, national, or religious minority groups. Other minoritized and marginalized individuals and groups (based on sexuality, gender,(dis)ability, class, or some other organizing principle) are also susceptible to various forms of dehumanization. The concept of dehumanization has received empirical attention in the psychological literature.[2][3] It is conceptually related to infrahumanization,[4] deligiti mization,[5] moral exclusion[6] and objectification.[7] Dehumaniza tion occurs across several domains, is facilitated by status, power, and social connection, and results in behaviors like exclusion, violence, and support for violence against others

“Creole Coated!”

Level 6

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#10 Apr 2, 2014
More importantly than having attractive figures..is the health problems associated with obesity which can lead to a decrease life expectancy..
There needs to be positive coping mechanism than using comfort food...ironic enough..working out/exercising can be a good stress relief.....taking care of one's body & health (Which includes Your's mental and spiritual well being) can encourage an overall better attitude and outlook on how you see yourself, others, and life..

“Bow Chika Wow Wow”

Level 4

Since: Sep 12

Location hidden

#11 Apr 2, 2014
Proud Sis wrote:
More importantly than having attractive figures..is the health problems associated with obesity which can lead to a decrease life expectancy..
There needs to be positive coping mechanism than using comfort food...ironic enough..working out/exercising can be a good stress relief.....taking care of one's body & health (Which includes Your's mental and spiritual well being) can encourage an overall better attitude and outlook on how you see yourself, others, and life..
Yeah I agree completely. I love working out & it definitely makes you feel better/happier with yourself! I feel like many Black females just don't value themselves in a way that they should, and it's hard to watch.

I've started other threads like this too, but I don't get why this message isn't more common around us. They have things like "Black Girls Rock" and stuff, but nobody actually wants to touch the real issues of feeling inadequate that I see in many Black women these days.

“Creole Coated!”

Level 6

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#12 Apr 3, 2014
PinkPearl wrote:
<quoted text>
Yeah I agree completely. I love working out & it definitely makes you feel better/happier with yourself! I feel like many Black females just don't value themselves in a way that they should, and it's hard to watch.
I've started other threads like this too, but I don't get why this message isn't more common around us. They have things like "Black Girls Rock" and stuff, but nobody actually wants to touch the real issues of feeling inadequate that I see in many Black women these days.
There is a lot of negativity..which kills the spirit and causes people to give up and tune out... It will take positive reinforcement to make positive changes...

“Creole Coated!”

Level 6

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#13 Apr 3, 2014
I think we should change our approaches to issues...instead of constantly identifying the problem and making it the focal point..Our discussion should be solution based with endless amount of positive examples.....as love and light is what breeds positive change and uplifts the human spirit..

“Bow Chika Wow Wow”

Level 4

Since: Sep 12

Location hidden

#14 Apr 3, 2014
Proud Sis wrote:
I think we should change our approaches to issues...instead of constantly identifying the problem and making it the focal point..Our discussion should be solution based with endless amount of positive examples.....as love and light is what breeds positive change and uplifts the human spirit..
Again, I agree 100%! lol. But how? I mean, what do you suggest would work to help many others? Personally, I have noticed that my own confidence in my everyday life attracts looks and stares from other Black women fsr. I'm a happy person, it's just my disposition in life. I smile a lot and I wear bright, pretty colors and I love dresses and all of that stuff. Black women in public sometimes stare at me like some men do, as if they're just admiring my being, which is hard to explain without coming across as conceited at all. It motivates me though, because the way I see it, if another Black woman likes how pretty my sky blue sundress is against my brown skin, then maybe she'll want to go buy a pretty sky blue shirt or something, and she'll feel pretty in it against her brown skin too. Idk, but I guess if it helps. I love seeing pretty, confident Black girls, and I just want to help. Feeling bad about yourself is such a horrible feeling, I don't like to see others dealing with it.

Level 3

Since: Feb 11

Reality

#15 Apr 3, 2014
Proud Sis wrote:
I think we should change our approaches to issues...instead of constantly identifying the problem and making it the focal point..Our discussion should be solution based with endless amount of positive examples.....as love and light is what breeds positive change and uplifts the human spirit..
I agree totally.

Level 3

Since: Feb 11

Reality

#16 Apr 3, 2014
PinkPearl wrote:
<quoted text>Again, I agree 100%! lol. But how? I mean, what do you suggest would work to help many others? Personally, I have noticed that my own confidence in my everyday life attracts looks and stares from other Black women fsr. I'm a happy person, it's just my disposition in life. I smile a lot and I wear bright, pretty colors and I love dresses and all of that stuff. Black women in public sometimes stare at me like some men do, as if they're just admiring my being, which is hard to explain without coming across as conceited at all. It motivates me though, because the way I see it, if another Black woman likes how pretty my sky blue sundress is against my brown skin, then maybe she'll want to go buy a pretty sky blue shirt or something, and she'll feel pretty in it against her brown skin too. Idk, but I guess if it helps. I love seeing pretty, confident Black girls, and I just want to help. Feeling bad about yourself is such a horrible feeling, I don't like to see others dealing with it.
You make it seem as though most Sistas have low self esteem, have no confidence and feel bad about themselves. Where are you from?

This is sooooo not the case. I know many sistas who feel great about themselves, are well educated, dress well, travel and are enjoying life. I spend time between DC, Cali and Chicago. I see a lot of fly, happy bw out and about and they're enjoying the sunshine.

Please stop generalizing. We're not all moping around and if you got out more you would know that.
sweetgirl102

Memphis, TN

#17 Apr 3, 2014
Nia_ wrote:
<quoted text>
You make it seem as though most Sistas have low self esteem, have no confidence and feel bad about themselves. Where are you from?
This is sooooo not the case. I know many sistas who feel great about themselves, are well educated, dress well, travel and are enjoying life. I spend time between DC, Cali and Chicago. I see a lot of fly, happy bw out and about and they're enjoying the sunshine.
Please stop generalizing. We're not all moping around and if you got out more you would know that.
She's my girl and all, but I'm starting to see her BUY into the stereotypes about BW. Whatever city she's in. There must a DISCONNECT between bm and bw. There must be lots of black guys that DON"T date bw where she lives, and this could account for the behavior she see in bw there.. She even admitted that her brother dates mostly non-black chicks.

Level 3

Since: Feb 11

Reality

#18 Apr 3, 2014
sweetgirl102 wrote:
<quoted text>
She's my girl and all, but I'm starting to see her BUY into the stereotypes about BW. Whatever city she's in. There must a DISCONNECT between bm and bw. There must be lots of black guys that DON"T date bw where she lives, and this could account for the behavior she see in bw there.. She even admitted that her brother dates mostly non-black chicks.
Thank you for your response. It makes sense now because I initially thought she was a white male/woman troll trying to dig at sistas with stereotypes.

I've never heard another sista make it seem as though all Black women are looking at them in admiration because they feel so bad about themselves. Da hell???? lol

Thread starter.... I would advise that you travel more or expand your social circle. Many BW are wearing colors, enjoying life, marrying and living well. Don't believe the hype.

“Creole Coated!”

Level 6

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#19 Apr 3, 2014
sweetgirl102 wrote:
<quoted text>
There must a DISCONNECT between bm and bw. There must be lots of black guys that DON"T date bw where she lives, and this could account for the behavior she see in bw there.. She even admitted that her brother dates mostly non-black chicks.
Feminine/femininity beauty "needs" or should I say desire, positive feedback from masculinity...

“Creole Coated!”

Level 6

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#20 Apr 3, 2014
PinkPearl wrote:
<quoted text>
Again, I agree 100%! lol. But how? I mean, what do you suggest would work to help many others?
We should focus on positivity..Why give stage to hate..it only breeds hate.. BW should not be entertaining negativity...giving it a stage to promote ongoing social ills towards your group...If others want to market you in a negative way..why support it by acknowledgment and thus allowing it to have an audiences for other to observe/notice..?
Instead of point out the obesity... Point out the many BW in shape and good health..with endless examples..such as the 60 or so year old body builder.....Name some support groups...
A great example of taken a different approach is the "natural hair movement"..instead of going on and on about arguing over weave/bald-headed and "self hate"... there are tons of sistas who used youtube to SHOW BW with long, real, natural hair and giving tips...indirectly challenging lies and myths...
PinkPearl wrote:
Personally, I have noticed that my own confidence in my everyday life attracts looks and stares from other Black women fsr. I'm a happy person, it's just my disposition in life. I smile a lot and I wear bright, pretty colors and I love dresses and all of that stuff. Black women in public sometimes stare at me like some men do, as if they're just admiring my being, which is hard to explain without coming across as conceited at all. It motivates me though, because the way I see it, if another Black woman likes how pretty my sky blue sundress is against my brown skin, then maybe she'll want to go buy a pretty sky blue shirt or something, and she'll feel pretty in it against her brown skin too. Idk, but I guess if it helps. I love seeing pretty, confident Black girls, and I just want to help. Feeling bad about yourself is such a horrible feeling, I don't like to see others dealing with it.
BW have always admired and drawn inspiration from other BW who were on point... so this is a great thing...and I'm sure many who never thought about wearing such complementary colors against their skin tones have had a change of heart :)
Marcus Washington

Laredo, TX

#21 Apr 3, 2014
ugly monkeys wrote:
Black women have never been considered as having the best bodies by the majority. Only black men and black women have declared bw to have the best bodies. Bw are statistically the most obese women in america and only bm are interested in the too big look.
Wait a damn Minute. Not all brothaz say this. I for one don't like BW unless they're very light skin and sexy bodies but then again they're very rare most are dark skin , fat and very masculine looking. For every chick that looks like beyonce they're 1000 that look like fat girl from Precious. Don't you forget it Crac ka.
REDNECK SNAPPER

United States

#25 Apr 3, 2014
Same old bullschitt

50 years the bw focused on building a positive self image and haven't moved the AA community forward one inch.

Level 3

Since: Feb 11

Reality

#26 Apr 3, 2014
REDNECK SNAPPER wrote:
Same old bullschitt
50 years the bw focused on building a positive self image and haven't moved the AA community forward one inch.
How about you man up and take your rightful role? The man is the leader right? Then move us forward, brotha!

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