black people and their relationship problems.

Posted in the African-American Forum

“Halt die klappe!”

Level 3

Since: Jun 10

Location hidden

#1 Mar 30, 2012
LOOK! I am so sick and tired of black people arguing with each other about a number of things, but this time I want to discuss relationships. For a while, black men and women have been blaming each other for failed relationships, or potential to have relationships because of a number of things...

*Black people need to get themselves together. I hate to say this but a good majority of us think on an elementary level.
Kids fight! Kids continue to argue until their throats go sore. Kids aren't mentally or emotionally mature enough to think rationally. When I say rationally in terms of relationships, I mean discussing things through and finding the root of the problem, and by saying this brings me to my next statement.

*Black people need to make amends with each other.
Yes! You need to make amends. Previously I said that a rational being finds the root of the problem but guess what? We have found the root of the problem. It is black people in general. The very fact that you guys have been arguing about each other for the longest time suggests that there really isn't a sole sex to blame. Black women aren't the blame and Black men aren't the blame, it is both!

*Black people like the conflict.
Yes! Blacks like the conflict with each other. You guys complain and pretend to hate what the other sex is doing but if you really wanted to make things better you would start by actually making changes. For example: Black Men complain that Black Women don't give them the time of day and that they are always chasing after White Men. Black Women complain that Black Men don't show respect to them and they fail to make something of themselves. Typically, both sexes would deny those statements and then argue again, but you fail to realize that you guys just found the solution to your problems. The black woman is telling black men what she needs and black man is telling black women what he needs.

*Listen to what the other is trying to tell you!
Those complaints have a meaning, it's not just a quick comeback that you ignore so you can make a quick comeback yourself, it is a real problem that the individual has experienced or has knowledge of.

*Don't make irrational decisions.
Due to the prolonged argument between black men and women there seems to be no hope. I've heard many many times that because of the few black women black men have been in relationships with that failed, they have decided to give up on black women. The same has been for black women giving up on black men. GUYS! This is stupid! You cannot hold an entire gender of a certain race responsible for what a few has done. Unless you are extreme and have been with every single person under the sun, you cannot assume that every one is the same. Especially, according to their race. Children like to group things because their brains aren't mature enough to distinguish too many intricate characteristics. They even misinterpret facial expressions. Adults are far more developed, they can distinguish individual characteristics in which they are aware that all people are not the same. Any rational adult who doesn't have that ability might have a learning disorder or is just plain ignorant. The fact that black people are giving up on each other is very sad. Almost every Ethnicity have a bond between the genders and it seems as if black people are the only ones who can't get things together.

Bottom Line:
Stop complaining and start doing things. Stop being angry at each other and start forgiving each other.

* Most of the black people who this applies to would read this, call it bull*hit, leave a nasty comment, then go back to doing the same thing. Everything I said can be condensed into one little phrase, and that phrase is...


Like I have stated before, Blacks played the fighting and arguing and blaming card. Now it's time to try the forgiving, and talking and improvement one.


#2 Jun 12, 2012
I agree I am a black woman and my partner who is black as well argue. I loose my temper because he is so aggressive and I feel threatened by him. So to assert my confidence I argue back even when I don't want to. Every time I try to talk and get to the root of our issues he argues. My partner is 12 years older than me and aggressive I feel he needs to be always right because he needs to protect his ego. I can't live in this aggressive relationship and I know I have to leave as this may not get better. I pray I have the strength to leave. I agree with all you wrote above but feel as a black community we the majority are too angry to change. This is going to ultimately be our down fall. If we blacks could pull together and be calmer. Put our energy into succeeding instead of fighting we can change our position in society. But the question is will we?

San Francisco, CA

#3 Jun 12, 2012
Many people need to stop defining themselves through anger and aggression.
They need to stop defining life through anger and being "right" all the time.
On the other hand it seems some people like the drama. It's as if without the drama they don't feel anything.

People are complex and it's not just blacks.

Tulsa, OK

#4 Aug 30, 2012
Yes it is true in some cases with black relationship so much hate and arguing. I am in a relationship now with a sorry black man who is very insecure about himself and is very jealous of me I am about to end our relationship because i am tired ff the bs with him.Black men and woman have to find ways to get along with each other.Life is too short Sometimes it makes me want to date out of my race

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