To dark skin men

“No Substitute For The Truth”

Level 8

Since: Jan 10

Orlando, FL

#92 Jul 20, 2014
LOL wrote:
<quoted text>Thank you for responding to my post. I appreciate the fact that you're open minded enough to take other possibilities into consideration before you condemn most black men as being darkskin haters.
The biggest problem I have with this whole darkskin vs lightskin topic is that it's always onesided. It's always what black women want and need. They make it seem like they're the one group on this earth with insecurities. I rarely see black women ask us what we want from them. They never ask black men about their insecurities, which black women are sometimes the cause of. What I see more than anything is black women constantly telling black men what we want and should want. "Black men only want white women." If that was the case, then most black men (over 90%) wouldn't be with black women. "Black men only like lightskin girls." If that were true, then most black men wouldn't be with dark/brown skin black women. Black men love black women and no one could ever replace you. We are yours and you are ours.
You want to know what most normal black men look for in women? From a physical stand point, black men want a woman with a fat ass. That alone will trump any flaw. If you have a big butt black men will want you. White girls and Latinas are trying to caught up but black women are clearly number one in that area. We want a women who embrace being feminine, not feminism. Black men want to be the man in their relationship. Feminism undermines that and that is why you see men and women in general are clashing. BM are getting tired of all the confrontations. We want peace and to constantly feud with our own women. We like women with nice teeth. Instead of bleaching your skin, wearing weave, and throwing contacts in your eyes. Get some braces and straighten up your teeth. We want women who support and respect us. If you have these physical traits and qualities your skin color will have no relevance.
I think that black women are the biggest contributors to this color issue. They want to believe that black men don't like darkskin women so they can have a reason to bitch. Black women nowdays are a bunch of professional victims who interpret their reality from a victim point of view. When in reality is that most black men will not pass up on a big booty black girl no matter how black she might be. And that is reality, unfortunately, facts don't matter when it undermines their preconceived notions. Magazines and movies seem to have more of influence on their perspective than reality.
When I first responded to this thread, I NEVER mentioned BM at all. My objective was for darker skin BW to focus on their strengths and capitalize off this. The media is very powerful and it's one of those things which has a tight grip on so many women in America and across the world instilling insecurities and fueling hate. I agree darker skin BW are NOT only women dealing with insecurities in the world or have men disrespecting them. There are men who disrespect women for simply being a woman. Some of these women situation is far worse because they are being harmed mentally and physically. For darker skin BW, their plight is mostly mental. Lupita learned to love her skintone and she's probably MORE content than so many women in the world.We as a people tend to make our situations seem worse than what it is because we don't focus enough on the positives.
Ashleigh

Helotes, TX

#93 Jul 20, 2014
Redefined wrote:
<quoted text>
When I first responded to this thread, I NEVER mentioned BM at all. My objective was for darker skin BW to focus on their strengths and capitalize off this. The media is very powerful and it's one of those things which has a tight grip on so many women in America and across the world instilling insecurities and fueling hate. I agree darker skin BW are NOT only women dealing with insecurities in the world or have men disrespecting them. There are men who disrespect women for simply being a woman. Some of these women situation is far worse because they are being harmed mentally and physically. For darker skin BW, their plight is mostly mental. Lupita learned to love her skintone and she's probably MORE content than so many women in the world.We as a people tend to make our situations seem worse than what it is because we don't focus enough on the positives.
Yeah but I'm talking about black women..and the black community

“No Substitute For The Truth”

Level 8

Since: Jan 10

Orlando, FL

#94 Jul 20, 2014
TRUTH wrote:
<quoted text>I really don't know what to make of your post. What if light/white women also have big butts? Who will be considered more attractive? A light girl with a big butt, or a DARK girl with a big butt? I'm pretty sure that your post is somewhat accurate, but not completely. By the way, the media only reflects society, it doesn't direct society. Black men are not exactly praised by the media, yet black men are rewarded for their black skin, while black women are punished for that same skin. Dark skin = masculine. Light skin = feminine. Obviously, dark women will not benefit from this.
BM are NOT rewarded for having darkskin, many BM have been very successful and influential in the media. Are you saying Michael Jordon's darkskin is the reason why he's praised??
Ashleigh

Helotes, TX

#95 Jul 20, 2014
Redefined wrote:
<quoted text>
BM are NOT rewarded for having darkskin, many BM have been very successful and influential in the media. Are you saying Michael Jordon's darkskin is the reason why he's praised??
She said black men aren't exactly praised in the media..reread it
Ashleigh

Helotes, TX

#96 Jul 20, 2014
It's no point of going back and forth with you. I've had different experiences that led me to believe the way I do..I know some other people know exactly what I'm talking about.you don't see eye to eye on anything I say..so I'm done ..

“No Substitute For The Truth”

Level 8

Since: Jan 10

Orlando, FL

#97 Jul 20, 2014
Ashleigh wrote:
It's no point of going back and forth with you. I've had different experiences that led me to believe the way I do..I know some other people know exactly what I'm talking about.you don't see eye to eye on anything I say..so I'm done ..
Those experiences have been acknowledged but you haven't acknowledged women like Lupita who have overcame her negative stigma of darkskin and how she's found peace within herself. If you love yourself, you would search for peace and happiness instead of only lookin' for others to feel sorry for you.

Since: Jul 14

Location hidden

#98 Jul 20, 2014
I guess ive seen too many blonde women hunting, hiking, skinning animals, over 6foot tall, built like some princess Brunnhilde to think they are more feminine.

Dark skin women look more warm, soulful, feminine "miss sunshine".:D

Level 1

Since: Jul 10

Location hidden

#99 Jul 20, 2014
Big Knob wrote:
<quoted text>you shouldnt have to prove nothing to nobody..........
I was just making a point really.
CHAKA ZULU

Merrillville, IN

#100 Jul 20, 2014
Big Knob wrote:
<quoted text>my woman is black and she doesnt feel that way, why do you? Is it because of topix?
hey there change your name from Big Knob to BIG BRAIN

Level 7

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#101 Jul 20, 2014
Ashleigh wrote:
<quoted text> I'm not saying black men have to be with dark women...just stop dissing them. Lol I feel like I keep repeating myself..it's simple ...really..
No it's not so simple what you are saying. You are not making any sense because deductively what you are saying is that if ONLY darker hued black men would not say things to make darker hued black women feel badly about themselves that their self esteem would miraculously ascend from the low depths in which many of them (not all) currently reside. You however, suggest no corrective measures, restraints nor make any exhortations from others that are not dark black that also are critical of black feminine aesthetics; so, you are by default assigning responsibility alone to darker black men.

This has nothing to do with my thinking that black men HAVE TO be with darker black women, it has to do with you scapegoating darker hued black men suggesting that we are at the root of their pathology. If you had said that PEOPLE in general should stop "dissing" the aesthetic features of darker sisters, I would jump on board and agree, but that is clearly not what you are saying, so stop acting like we are misunderstanding you. I understand you perfectly, I just don't agree.
Big Knob

United States

#102 Jul 20, 2014
CHAKA ZULU wrote:
<quoted text> hey there change your name from Big Knob to BIG BRAIN
it wouldnt work with chaka zulus, running around here, would it?

“Hating Gives You Wrinkles”

Level 6

Since: Mar 12

The Sequel

#103 Jul 20, 2014
Man, I thought this was a dedication thread for chocolate men.....
ria91

Seminary, MS

#104 Jul 20, 2014
LOL wrote:
<quoted text>Thank you for responding to my post. I appreciate the fact that you're open minded enough to take other possibilities into consideration before you condemn most black men as being darkskin haters.
The biggest problem I have with this whole darkskin vs lightskin topic is that it's always onesided. It's always what black women want and need. They make it seem like they're the one group on this earth with insecurities. I rarely see black women ask us what we want from them. They never ask black men about their insecurities, which black women are sometimes the cause of. What I see more than anything is black women constantly telling black men what we want and should want. "Black men only want white women." If that was the case, then most black men (over 90%) wouldn't be with black women. "Black men only like lightskin girls." If that were true, then most black men wouldn't be with dark/brown skin black women. Black men love black women and no one could ever replace you. We are yours and you are ours.
You want to know what most normal black men look for in women? From a physical stand point, black men want a woman with a fat ass. That alone will trump any flaw. If you have a big butt black men will want you. White girls and Latinas are trying to caught up but black women are clearly number one in that area. We want a women who embrace being feminine, not feminism. Black men want to be the man in their relationship. Feminism undermines that and that is why you see men and women in general are clashing. BM are getting tired of all the confrontations. We want peace and to constantly feud with our own women. We like women with nice teeth. Instead of bleaching your skin, wearing weave, and throwing contacts in your eyes. Get some braces and straighten up your teeth. We want women who support and respect us. If you have these physical traits and qualities your skin color will have no relevance.
I think that black women are the biggest contributors to this color issue. They want to believe that black men don't like darkskin women so they can have a reason to bitch. Black women nowdays are a bunch of professional victims who interpret their reality from a victim point of view. When in reality is that most black men will not pass up on a big booty black girl no matter how black she might be. And that is reality, unfortunately, facts don't matter when it undermines their preconceived notions. Magazines and movies seem to have more of influence on their perspective than reality.

I rarely see black women ask us what we want from them. They never ask black men about their insecurities, which black women are sometimes the cause of. What I see more than anything is black women constantly telling black men what we want and should want.
This quote right here is the feminization mind frame of black men. A man should be concerned with business, success, financial gains, and family. When I say business rap and sports does not count. I mean working on running his own business in the future. A man should be seen not heard. A man is measured by his actions and success in life. Women are naturally more vocal. You re emplying that these feminized mens opinions should be heard. Why? Leave the talking up to women.

Black men should be more focused on DOING MORE FOR THE BLACK COMMUNITY BY BUILDING BLACK BUSINESSES AND ENCOURAGING THEMSELVES AS WELL AS THEIR "BROTHERS" TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR OOW CHILDREN. Your comment is the same reason most men of other races as well as women do not respect BLACK MEN as a whole. They know MEN ARE SUPPOSED TO LEAD. So therefore they can not fault black women for the problems of the black community. BLACK MEN ARE SUPPOSED TO BE LEADING THE BLACK COMMUNITY NOT THE WOMEN! They see black women as trying to make the best out of the BLACK MANS MISTAKES AND INCOMPETANCE by chasing white or lighter skinned women, having lots of children out of wedlock, AND NOT BEING HEAD OF HOUSEHOLDS.
ria91

Seminary, MS

#105 Jul 20, 2014
Until black men realize that a man is measured by his success in life and taking care of his family( not being a baby daddy to out of wedlock kids) and building more black owned businesses. Then the black community will always be in disarray. Women are supposed to take care of the home not be the head of households as well as trying to play the role of both mother and father. A MOTHER CAN NEVER REPLACE THE FATHER! No matter how much people from single family households want to argue me down. This dysfuction of mothers being the head of households in the black community for the past three and half decades is the same reason why MOST BLACK PEOPLE COME FROM SINGLE HEADED HOUSEHOLDS!.
'
Over time this dysfuntion has become the norm ONLY IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY!! 72% OF WHITE, ASIAN,INDIAN MOTHERS ARE NOT SINGLE YOU KNOW WHY?!? Because their MEN LEAD THEIR COMMUNITES AND FAMILIES! Until the American black male starts taking action it will be too late. By that time most American black women will be married too and have a family with an American not inside their race. The American black male will see his race dissolve because half of them are having babies out of their race and still expect the American black woman to remain faithful!! The devil is a lie. He will see his "relationship" with women of other races dissolve because she will realize what the Black American woman knew all along and that is a real man is measured by his success in life and how he takes care of his family.
black man1

Coatesville, PA

#106 Jul 20, 2014
Ashleigh wrote:
<quoted text>
Where I live.. Most dark skin men are with light skin,biracial,white or mexican chicks...
I've heard black guys say they really want a light skin girl..but we are "stuck up"I've had some actually admit to me that they find light skin women a "prize"
I don't know where you live. I live in Pennsylvania and most of the black women are dark skin. The only dark skin black women who do not have a man. Are one's who have a nasty attitude.. That goes for the light skin black women and the dark skin black women. Plus who cares about those mixed up in the head fake black guys. Guys who think like them never are in a great relationship with those women.
Ashleigh

San Antonio, TX

#107 Jul 20, 2014
Cogito2 wrote:
<quoted text>
No it's not so simple what you are saying. You are not making any sense because deductively what you are saying is that if ONLY darker hued black men would not say things to make darker hued black women feel badly about themselves that their self esteem would miraculously ascend from the low depths in which many of them (not all) currently reside. You however, suggest no corrective measures, restraints nor make any exhortations from others that are not dark black that also are critical of black feminine aesthetics; so, you are by default assigning responsibility alone to darker black men.
This has nothing to do with my thinking that black men HAVE TO be with darker black women, it has to do with you scapegoating darker hued black men suggesting that we are at the root of their pathology. If you had said that PEOPLE in general should stop "dissing" the aesthetic features of darker sisters, I would jump on board and agree, but that is clearly not what you are saying, so stop acting like we are misunderstanding you. I understand you perfectly, I just don't agree.
That's fine if you don't agree with me. Ditto
black man1

Coatesville, PA

#108 Jul 20, 2014
ria91 wrote:
Until black men realize that a man is measured by his success in life and taking care of his family( not being a baby daddy to out of wedlock kids) and building more black owned businesses. Then the black community will always be in disarray. Women are supposed to take care of the home not be the head of households as well as trying to play the role of both mother and father. A MOTHER CAN NEVER REPLACE THE FATHER! No matter how much people from single family households want to argue me down. This dysfuction of mothers being the head of households in the black community for the past three and half decades is the same reason why MOST BLACK PEOPLE COME FROM SINGLE HEADED HOUSEHOLDS!.
'
Over time this dysfuntion has become the norm ONLY IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY!! 72% OF WHITE, ASIAN,INDIAN MOTHERS ARE NOT SINGLE YOU KNOW WHY?!? Because their MEN LEAD THEIR COMMUNITES AND FAMILIES! Until the American black male starts taking action it will be too late. By that time most American black women will be married too and have a family with an American not inside their race. The American black male will see his race dissolve because half of them are having babies out of their race and still expect the American black woman to remain faithful!! The devil is a lie. He will see his "relationship" with women of other races dissolve because she will realize what the Black American woman knew all along and that is a real man is measured by his success in life and how he takes care of his family.
That goes both ways. Black women and black men need to come together. Yes a lot of black men need to be fathers to their kids. But, a lot of little black girls have grown up and think that they are suppose to be head of household. Because that's what they saw growing up. I heard a black woman on my job say that a woman is suppose to run a man. That's why she has a man who is about nothing. No man of any race is going to deal with a black, white, Asian or Hispanic woman with that kind of an attitude. Also, half of black men do not have babies with other race of women. Majority of black men are with black women. We all need to step up.

Since: Aug 10

Location hidden

#110 Jul 21, 2014
believeme wrote:
<quoted text>
Yeah there are SOME black women who, can go very long hair.majority of black women can only grow their hair to the top of their sholders.
Some women don't have a clue how to look after their hair relaxed or natural.... There was a hair care site I was on and the woman grew hair down to her waist.. It took her 7 years... Some women grow their hair quicker... I am short at the moment but had shoulder length hair.. Bw not having hair is a serious misconception.... Just as all we have easy hair growth... Yeah right!!! Vitamins might help, scalp massages etc, Maybe even Ayurveda...Whatever is best for you..

Since: Aug 10

Location hidden

#111 Jul 21, 2014
ria91 wrote:
<quoted text>
This quote right here is the feminization mind frame of black men. A man should be concerned with business, success, financial gains, and family. When I say business rap and sports does not count. I mean working on running his own business in the future. A man should be seen not heard. A man is measured by his actions and success in life. Women are naturally more vocal. You re emplying that these feminized mens opinions should be heard. Why? Leave the talking up to women.
Black men should be more focused on DOING MORE FOR THE BLACK COMMUNITY BY BUILDING BLACK BUSINESSES AND ENCOURAGING THEMSELVES AS WELL AS THEIR "BROTHERS" TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR OOW CHILDREN. Your comment is the same reason most men of other races as well as women do not respect BLACK MEN as a whole. They know MEN ARE SUPPOSED TO LEAD. So therefore they can not fault black women for the problems of the black community. BLACK MEN ARE SUPPOSED TO BE LEADING THE BLACK COMMUNITY NOT THE WOMEN! They see black women as trying to make the best out of the BLACK MANS MISTAKES AND INCOMPETANCE by chasing white or lighter skinned women, having lots of children out of wedlock, AND NOT BEING HEAD OF HOUSEHOLDS.
VERY TRUE!!! However I am not sure its down to being feminized... Its down to having a, what a black person in England may call a WASTEMAN MENTALITY.. Americans use the term DEADBEAT or BUM.. Correct?

There are many men who grew up with two parents, but lack ambition and skills when it comes to working for a family life or even look after themselves!! It doesn't just stop at bm! Too many other non black men that I could mention-But won't.. Choose all kind of reasons for abandoning a child.. Some find the next woman and the next woman and find faults with them all.. WHEN THEY ARE THE PROBLEM!! Too many excuses fly about when people excuse what they do!!! They need to remember that when they get old they might just need the kid/s they abandoned.. Oh well you reap what you sow, they only realize that in the end when they have to reflect on their lives...

Since: Aug 10

Location hidden

#112 Jul 21, 2014
Dinie wrote:
<quoted text>
Some women don't have a clue how to look after their hair relaxed or natural.... There was a hair care site I was on and the woman grew hair down to her waist.. It took her 7 years... Some women grow their hair quicker... I am short at the moment but had shoulder length hair.. Bw not having hair is a serious misconception.... Just as all we have easy hair growth... Yeah right!!! Vitamins might help, scalp massages etc, Maybe even Ayurveda...Whatever is best for you..
Meant to add ww and all other non black women don't all grow hair easily..

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