Black helper NY-London

London, UK

#402 Apr 21, 2013
IR BW wrote:
Ladies, this is the WOMEN's thread. It's for us black women to post any and all topics that concern US.
Feel free to discuss work, hobbies, relationships, business, fiances, beauty, movies, men, sex, women's rights, children or whatever we think about on daily basis.
This is our exclusive women's club. This means no men allowed. Let's use it for good as a place to come to for advice, guidance and shared experiences.
So let's not fk it up by responding to men who post here or getting baited into silly, time-wasting bw/bm debates or encouraging IRBM to post here.
I'm just saying not all BM dislike BW I have nothing against you
Tomasina Foolery

Uckfield, UK

#404 Apr 21, 2013
Sensual Massage oil recipe.
Almond oil, mixed with a few drops of coconut oil and lavender.
The coconut has a sensual aroma and the lavender is relaxing.
Perfect to relax your man after he's had a long day at work :)
Mixing orange, lemon or lime oil in with almond oil, give a more invigorating massage.
Mayo

Paterson, NJ

#406 Apr 21, 2013
MsNewNew wrote:
<quoted text>Thanks and of course we will share different opinions on how we views things. We are only expressing thoughts from our own personal experience. A man is a Man and we should let them be. We should not overstep them by trying to change oil or tires or by telling them how to for example. I previously stated if I have to teach a grown man what he should be doing as a grown man, well he is not the man for me. The man and lady should discuss the relationship and the household as one, this is not about going along. I keep mentioning how important is to communicate.
You're happily married right?
No!
Mayo

Paterson, NJ

#407 Apr 21, 2013
London wrote:
<quoted text>You make interesting and thought provoking points in this post. I don't know if I misunderstood your overall point in the beginning however, you did give good elaboration. It's a great post which articulates your views on this subject very well.

My point of view is just different. We are two different women who view things completely different. I don't need a head, boss, coach, driver, ceo or none of that when I'm at home. I believe ability and capability of each should determine what goes in a certain area. Whatever we don't agree on, we need to work it out however it needs to be worked out and neither should be too stubborn to admit when something should go as the other suggests. Men should feel like men all by themselves, not because the little lady of the house is going along with something because at the end of the day, he's the head or because the little lady doesn't want to "overstep" her man. Forgive me, but I don't even know what "overstep" her man means. LOL.

That all sounds way to restrictive and silly for me to even entertain tbo. But I get what you are saying. It's just not for me. It's not something I would pass on to anyone.
She's single don't listen to her.

Level 9

Since: Nov 10

.

#408 Apr 21, 2013
Mayo wrote:
<quoted text>You're happily married right?
No!
Stalker, are you saying unless a woman is married there's no way she can be happy?

Level 9

Since: Nov 10

.

#409 Apr 21, 2013
Mayo wrote:
<quoted text>
She's single don't listen to her.
Say the miserable person who is only focused on me. You have made THREE comments on this women thread and they were all about me. Since they are itís you who seem single AND miserable. You are showing me that I am the only subject thatís important to you. As a woman (hint-hint) Iím sure you have more to talk about other than me and yet youíre telling other members to not listen to me when you are only talking about me. Ha!Ö.

But hey, you should either post something about your fashion, your MAN or move on.

“I am”

Level 8

Since: Jul 11

The Original Intention

#410 Apr 21, 2013
ISW__REBORN wrote:
I thought this was for bw only but since i see everyone and they father on here my lil mixed arse can comment to. Bw should have a list of priorities they want to fufill in their life. They should always remember to put no man before God and no man before their child (if it isnt the childs father) bw should always have an equal balance for her needs as well as her partners. Also my sistas never invest more in a man than he is willing to invest in you. I see so many of my friends go above and beyond for a slack jawed no good man no matter what race he is. Bw by nature are the most nuturing devoted women i know. If i ever got in a situation i know i could call one of my homegirls up to back me up or take me to wherever i needed to go. Bw as a whole take alot of flack for the few that go out and act a damn fool in public but they still walk around with their heads held high. Dont get me wrong some bw are pure garbage but the majority once you get to know whats behind that tough exterior you find someone soft and pink who just devoted to much time and dedication to the wrong people. Bw i love you like a sister, mother, and cousins that you are to me.
Missing my most favorite bw of all mom
Hey beautiful :) I've been doing a lot of missing you lately.. I haven't been on as much... and you haven't either.. hope all is well :)
Cinderella

Columbiana, AL

#411 Apr 21, 2013
dev143 wrote:
<quoted text>
You must fit a lot of the criteria in my list for this reaction.
If you would like a personal consultation on how to grow away from being a vile beasty (http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=MYZQBDXTe1IXX), I'd be glad to help, just call the office and schedule an appointment.
Well dummy, I figured if you could make a list of things for bw, I thought it would be only fair to make a list out for bm so you all can see where yall fall short. Fools like you can dish it out but you sure as heck can't take it, dummy

Level 8

Since: Jan 08

Wichita, KS

#412 Apr 21, 2013
IR BW wrote:
<quoted text>When are you due.. Congratulations?
How are you getting enough protein then since you're having trouble consuming meat?
I am due in late october.The father is ponca native american/swiss.Tomorrow I'm getting my 12 week ultrasound.I've tried eating some nuts and eggs.I can eat small quantities of meats now that my morning sickness has gotten a little bit better.

Level 6

Since: Jun 08

DC

#413 Apr 21, 2013
London wrote:
<quoted text>
How is this materially different from what I said?
Being yourself is how people are during stage 3 of a relationship, which is about 5 months into a relationship. When you let your hair down. Letting your hair down on a first date, or first stage of a relationship takes away from the honey moon stage. To each his own, but mostly, being yourself doesn't work. Ask your mother if your father was nervous when he first took her out? When you're being yourself, you're not nervous.
Level 1

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#414 Apr 21, 2013
hey you guys I would like to join in on the conversation wouldn't call myself a woman just yet. but I am a black female. this is the best trend I have seen on this forum...by the way I love how you guys are ignoring the trolls

Level 6

Since: Jun 08

DC

#416 Apr 21, 2013
London wrote:
<quoted text>
You aren't correct on what the average wants. Most women are completely satisfied with one man. Women who are looking to juggle men, especially sexually, are rare and normally have had something tragic happen to them sexually.
As far as the term hoe. Everyone has different meanings. Some believe a woman is a hoe if she has a kid by a guy unmarried (no matter if she never sleeps with another man for the rest of her days), some believe if a woman has premarital sex, she is a hoe, some don't even believe in the word hoe and believe we should all be free, some believe if you've had more than 5 partners, married or not, you are a hoe. The list is just endless but whether men agree or not, the word takes on different meanings for different people. Men don't define that word. If men even agreed on what that term meant, things would be a lot different in this world.
Adoration from multiple men doesn't mean dating multiple men. Adoration from multiple men means women want multiple men to notice her, to see her worth. Men define the word hoe. Just like men define the word beauty. 50 women can say you're gorgeous but if 0 men think you're gorgeous, that comment will hold no weight if you're a straight woman. The only opinion of the consumer is the buyer's opinion. Hearing the world hoe/b!tch/slut from a man hurts more than hearing it from a woman.

5 sexual partners doesn't label a woman a hoe in my book, especially since I'm 27 years old and that's kind of the average number anyways. If you want to date a man with no partners, then date virgin men. I'm sure virgin men would adore a woman like yourself.

Level 6

Since: Jun 08

DC

#418 Apr 21, 2013
ISW__REBORN wrote:
I thought this was for bw only but since i see everyone and they father on here my lil mixed arse can comment to. Bw should have a list of priorities they want to fufill in their life. They should always remember to put no man before God and no man before their child (if it isnt the childs father) bw should always have an equal balance for her needs as well as her partners. Also my sistas never invest more in a man than he is willing to invest in you. I see so many of my friends go above and beyond for a slack jawed no good man no matter what race he is. Bw by nature are the most nuturing devoted women i know. If i ever got in a situation i know i could call one of my homegirls up to back me up or take me to wherever i needed to go. Bw as a whole take alot of flack for the few that go out and act a damn fool in public but they still walk around with their heads held high. Dont get me wrong some bw are pure garbage but the majority once you get to know whats behind that tough exterior you find someone soft and pink who just devoted to much time and dedication to the wrong people. Bw i love you like a sister, mother, and cousins that you are to me.
Missing my most favorite bw of all mom
Bw are the most nurturing women? That's not only racist, but illogical. Bw as a whole usually have extremely high expectations/standards or extremely low expectations/standards. You can't have 80% of black women being out of wedlock mothers, out to be these perfect queens.

If a black woman is dating a no good man, then that's on her, not on him. Dating a loser says more about the person who's dating him, then the person themselves.

Level 6

Since: Jun 08

DC

#419 Apr 21, 2013
London wrote:
<quoted text>
The only thing I took issue with as far NEWNEW is concerned is her implying that there is a hierarchy to submission. I do not believe there is an order. God actually told man and woman to submit to each other. I believe the illustration God gave toward the man was because man had to be told to love the woman. I believe HE further expanded what this love meant by giving an illustration. However, as I told newnew, I understand that some couples may need the rigid lines or they may need to declare certain things. I, however, have never been a part of a home which operated in that manner.
"Obedience" is certainly a reward and gift as a by product of the trust but it goes both ways. It's for the man and the woman. Man and woman take responsibility for each other with the ULTIMATE responsibility resting with the man in terms of provider.
No, the bible doesn't say a man should submit to his wife. The bible says a man shall love his wife, and his wife shall submit to her husband. The man is the President and the woman is the vice president.

Level 6

Since: Jun 08

DC

#420 Apr 21, 2013
MsNewNew wrote:
<quoted text>
Sorry you misunderstood my comment. However I believe it stands true. I believe God should/MUST come first in everything. Far as hierarchy, I did not say hierarchy to submission I said I believe there is a place (a role) for us and it should be God, Man, Woman. I stated if a man expects a woman to submit he first need to be submitting to God. How can he tell her to submit to him, when he has not? A woman should not overstep a Man especially if he's representing one as such. If a woman feels she can overstep Man, well man can also believe he can overstep God. That you must know what is expected from what you have learned and from all the previous conversations you two have shared before going into this union.
I also stated when a couple communicate and shows each other respect you will know what is needed and expected from keeping the conversation flowing. You know it takes God, friendship, trust, love, loyalty, respect, a partnership to keep it strong in order for a better chance of working and it takes a joint effort. I also stated when you respect each other you should not be hearing the ďBecause I said so or to do what I sayĒ. Iím talking about a relationship that was built from respect & friendship and when you are friends youíll have a better understanding of that person and when you communicate you should know what is needed when helping and sharing around the house.
I also stated you should go in knowing your mate from listening, paying attention. If you saw how badly this Man acted, his laziness while you were dating and you still married this Man. Whoís to blame? When you go in blind you will never see whatís up.
Yes we suppose to submit to each other out of deep respect for the LordÖ I know, as humans living in the todayís world it can get hard sometimes following the laws of the bible, but out of respect for placing a Man as head is a way showing respect not for Man but for God.
Once again as I mention before when you talk things out from the beginning and throughout a relationship you will have a better understanding of whatís expected. Letís make this clear, the subject of submissive in a relationship is between husbands and wives only.
One more thing, I see the word obedience (obeying) going around. Iíve stated when thereís love and respect for each other there is no BOSS, that the word head is more suitable. That the husband should be considered the head not boss. If you see him as a boss, you should be expected to be ordered. When thereís love and respect you should be obedience to God.
How many men have you met that said, "I want to equally submit to my wife as much as she is submitting to me".

Men are raised to be head of the household, not to be in a submitting 50/50 marriage. Women who believe in 50/50 usually are very independent women and/or date/marry men who are usually less then. You can't tell a boss like myself that a relationship is 50/50. No, it's 70/30.
Guest

Huntsville, AL

#421 Apr 21, 2013
You are brought up by a mother, by a father; if you are a boy, you start loving your mother and you start being jealous of your father because he is a competitor; if you are a girl, you start loving your father and you hate your mother because she is a competitor. These are now established facts, not hypotheses, and the result of it turns your whole life into a misery.

The boy carries the image of his mother as the model of a woman. He becomes conditioned continuously; he knows only one woman so closely, so intimately. Her face, her hair, her warmth -- everything becomes an imprint. That's exactly the scientific word used: it becomes an imprint in his psychology. And the same happens to the girl about the father. When you grow up, you fall in love with some woman or with some man and you think, "Perhaps we are made for each other." Nobody is made for anyone.

But why do you feel attracted towards one certain person? It is because of your imprint. He must resemble your father in some way; she must resemble your mother in some way. Of course no other woman can be exactly a replica of your mother, and anyway you are not in search of a mother, you are in search of a wife. But the imprint inside you decides who is the right woman for you. The moment you see that woman, there is no question of reasoning. You immediately feel attraction; your imprint immediately starts functioning -- this is the woman for you, or this is the man for you.

It is good as far as dating, because you don't come to know each other totally. But you are both hankering to live together; you want to be married, and that is one of the most dangerous steps that lovers can take. The moment you are married, you start becoming aware of the totality of the other person, and you are surprised on every single aspect -- "Something went wrong; this is not the woman, this is not the man" -- because they don't fit with the ideal that you are carrying within you.

And the trouble is multiplied because the woman is carrying an ideal of her father -- you don't fit with it. You are carrying the ideal of your mother -- she does not fit with it. That's why all marriages are failures. Only very rare marriages are not failures
Kai

Bristol, UK

#422 Apr 21, 2013
Swade wrote:
<quoted text>Bw are the most nurturing women? That's not only racist, but illogical. Bw as a whole usually have extremely high expectations/standards or extremely low expectations/standards. You can't have 80% of black women being out of wedlock mothers, out to be these perfect queens.
If a black woman is dating a no good man, then that's on her, not on him. Dating a loser says more about the person who's dating him, then the person themselves.
Are you a woman?? Please I ask you kindly to go and entertain another thread. thank you.

“Sexy emo chick :)”

Level 3

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#423 Apr 21, 2013
Swade wrote:
<quoted text>How many men have you met that said, "I want to equally submit to my wife as much as she is submitting to me".
Men are raised to be head of the household, not to be in a submitting 50/50 marriage. Women who believe in 50/50 usually are very independent women and/or date/marry men who are usually less then. You can't tell a boss like myself that a relationship is 50/50. No, it's 70/30.
jeez why u guys have to control everything? Well ill never get married..say sum smart sacrastic shyt idc.. good luck to women that want to be married ..be prepared to be a slave to your man..and his chef

“just truce please!”

Level 6

Since: Aug 11

Location hidden

#427 Apr 21, 2013
I hope all you sistahs enjoyed your day...

Level 6

Since: Jun 08

DC

#429 Apr 21, 2013
Kai wrote:
<quoted text> Are you a woman?? Please I ask you kindly to go and entertain another thread. thank you.
http://s1171.photobucket.com/u ser/SwadeNDShade/library/?sort =6&page=1 does it seem like I'm a woman. You don't own topix so relax.

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