Why don't black men approach black woman

Why don't black men approach black woman

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Level 6

Since: May 07

Watsonville, CA

#1 Jun 7, 2007
For example I have a cousin and sister who are both beautiful, smart and educated but are still single!! When we go out together alot of brothers only look and turn away when we walk by! What is up with that? Can I get a straight answer from a true brotha as to why you let a beautiful sister pass you by???

Since: Jun 07

Nashville, TN

#2 Jun 7, 2007
you read my forum so you already know why I don't. It's because of past experiences for me but I can only speak for myself. Although I do appreciate beauty, intelligence, and education.

Mack the Great

Since: May 07

United States

#3 Jun 7, 2007
beautiful black woman wrote:
For example I have a cousin and sister who are both beautiful, smart and educated but are still single!! When we go out together alot of brothers only look and turn away when we walk by! What is up with that? Can I get a straight answer from a true brotha as to why you let a beautiful sister pass you by???
I guess these black men are truly fed up with the way they have been negatively treated by black women in the past growing up as well as the stereotypes associated with black women being skanks, having attitude and dating thugs and these stereotypes may have dissuaded them from ever approaching black women. That combined with the fact that these black men harbor self hatred and low self worth due to them not being accepted and appreciated by black women is another reason why black men never approach black women or completely avoid them all together. When I was growing up around my teenage years, I was made fun of by black women for being nerd and I hated them for that as well as them having attitudes and dating thugs so I decided not to talk to them and distanced myself away from them for these reasons but now thats all changed now that I finally realized how imporatant black women are to me in my life.

Level 6

Since: May 07

Watsonville, CA

#4 Jun 7, 2007
Suavin wrote:
you read my forum so you already know why I don't. It's because of past experiences for me but I can only speak for myself. Although I do appreciate beauty, intelligence, and education.
Well you can't judge all black women from past experiences with a few black women, you have to open up your mind and realize that not all women are the same brotha..

Level 1

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#5 Jun 7, 2007
Hmmmm I'm not a brotha but I thinks its fear of being rejected in a harsh manner. If you see an attractive guy & you think he might like you then just put a smile on your face, lose the screwed up face, i think that scares the guys off LOL I don't flash your teeth & gums, but you know, just make your face look pleasant, I'm sure the guy will approach you. I think i get guys saying hi to me all the time just because I smile, I'm not single but I made a choice to start smiling more & I get hellos from guys, smiles back from females, I even start up converstions with people at the bank when there is a long wait to the next cashier just from a smile. A smile costs nothing, makes you look appealing & does work in your favour if you want it too.

Level 1

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#6 Jun 7, 2007
*I don't mean flash your teeth & gums

“''D.Wade '' love ya for eva!!!”

Since: Jun 07

Africa congo.

#7 Jun 7, 2007
beautiful black woman wrote:
For example I have a cousin and sister who are both beautiful, smart and educated but are still single!! When we go out together alot of brothers only look and turn away when we walk by! What is up with that? Can I get a straight answer from a true brotha as to why you let a beautiful sister pass you by???
u can make the first move girl. show them that u really care about them. maybe they will came to u...

Since: May 07

Arlington, VA

#8 Jun 7, 2007
beautiful black woman wrote:
For example I have a cousin and sister who are both beautiful, smart and educated but are still single!! When we go out together alot of brothers only look and turn away when we walk by! What is up with that? Can I get a straight answer from a true brotha as to why you let a beautiful sister pass you by???
any number of reasons why MEN don't approach WOMEN.

1) maybe the sight of THREE women is intimidating. no matter who the guy chooses to 'mack' to, he's , in a sense, saying 'you other two may be nice, but i'm not interested in you'.

i've spoken with women before who say they feel bad when a guy picks THEM and not their girlfriends...in sort of a 'woman think' way, they often turn that guy down.

i've seen it in clubs, too. a group of pretty women sit at a table, and do nothing but turn guys down all night; OR, there will be one or a couple of fine women and one ugly woman; the pretty woman/women won't dance unless the ugly woman is asked to dance. guys get around this by 'running interference'(at least they did in my day). they'd have a guy talk to the ugly woman, so the pretty woman/women can get the TRUE mack. once mission is accomplished, the ugly one is left with a 'thank you for the dance', and the gentlemen promptly leave.

2) no offense (because i don't know what your cousins look like), but maybe they aren't attractive to men.

i'm NOT dogging them, because again, i don't know what they look like. but often what women think is an attractive woman isn't what MEN think is an attractive woman. PLENTY of my female friends and family tried to hook me up with their friends whom they said were 'attractive','pretty','cute', etc...only to find out they were about 120 degrees away from that description.

3) maybe its where you ladies go...if you got to a club that has 'middle class' black folks mingling with those not QUITE in the middle class, you get a lot of 'lower class' guys who may simply find 'easier pickins' with women in their own class.

4) any number of other possibilities.

“La vie de cet homme ! ! ! ”

Since: Dec 06

Terre electrique de Dame

#9 Jun 7, 2007
ha ha ha ha ooooh boy this is crazy!!! I have to tell you, if the cats out in Cali wont talk to beautiful and sexy ladies that you are talking about here?!! Then get their butts on the first plane flying into Philly and IF they have those credentials they will not find it hard getting along with Black educated professional brothers over here!!! Tell them I dare you!! I have two of my boys who are lookin right now and they are both health care professionals making bank!!! Some new blood will do them good ha ha ha ha
KIP

San Francisco, CA

#10 Jun 7, 2007
beautiful black woman wrote:
For example I have a cousin and sister who are both beautiful, smart and educated but are still single!! When we go out together alot of brothers only look and turn away when we walk by! What is up with that? Can I get a straight answer from a true brotha as to why you let a beautiful sister pass you by???
Maybe your cousin and sister have sent out signals on some level that they are not interested. Guys pick up on this. Maybe you ladies are going out to the wrong places to meet eligible men who would notice you. Educated, attractive women are not likely to attract the opposite in men. Then again maybe the guys are just afraid of the rejection. In this case it isn't just sistas, but many women.

It might be a good idea if your sister and cousin made the first move. Buy the guy a drink and be friendly. Try experimenting with something different than waiting for the guy to make the move.

Since: Jun 07

LONDON

#11 Jun 7, 2007
Mack the Great wrote:
<quoted text>
I guess these black men are truly fed up with the way they have been negatively treated by black women in the past growing up as well as the stereotypes associated with black women being skanks, having attitude and dating thugs and these stereotypes may have dissuaded them from ever approaching black women. That combined with the fact that these black men harbor self hatred and low self worth due to them not being accepted and appreciated by black women is another reason why black men never approach black women or completely avoid them all together.
When I was growing up around my teenage years, I was made fun of by black women for being nerd and I hated them for that as well as them having attitudes and dating thugs so I decided not to talk to them and distanced myself away from them for these reasons but now thats all changed now that I finally realized how imporatant black women are to me in my life.
You black men have nothing to be fed up about if anything you bring it upon yourselves. It has always been about you what about us black women, Dont you think that we ar fed up of irresponsible black men who have nothing to offer but to run away from their responsibilities.

Level 1

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#12 Jun 7, 2007
Patriq wrote:
ha ha ha ha ooooh boy this is crazy!!! I have to tell you, if the cats out in Cali wont talk to beautiful and sexy ladies that you are talking about here?!! Then get their butts on the first plane flying into Philly and IF they have those credentials they will not find it hard getting along with Black educated professional brothers over here!!! Tell them I dare you!! I have two of my boys who are lookin right now and they are both health care professionals making bank!!! Some new blood will do them good ha ha ha ha
hahahahahahaaaaaaaa LMAO that had me laughing patriq. Well I guess I'll be going to your neck of the woods if I become single! LOL

Level 6

Since: May 07

Watsonville, CA

#13 Jun 7, 2007
gillette19 wrote:
<quoted text>
any number of reasons why MEN don't approach WOMEN.
1) maybe the sight of THREE women is intimidating. no matter who the guy chooses to 'mack' to, he's , in a sense, saying 'you other two may be nice, but i'm not interested in you'.
i've spoken with women before who say they feel bad when a guy picks THEM and not their girlfriends...in sort of a 'woman think' way, they often turn that guy down.
i've seen it in clubs, too. a group of pretty women sit at a table, and do nothing but turn guys down all night; OR, there will be one or a couple of fine women and one ugly woman; the pretty woman/women won't dance unless the ugly woman is asked to dance. guys get around this by 'running interference'(at least they did in my day). they'd have a guy talk to the ugly woman, so the pretty woman/women can get the TRUE mack. once mission is accomplished, the ugly one is left with a 'thank you for the dance', and the gentlemen promptly leave.
2) no offense (because i don't know what your cousins look like), but maybe they aren't attractive to men.
i'm NOT dogging them, because again, i don't know what they look like. but often what women think is an attractive woman isn't what MEN think is an attractive woman. PLENTY of my female friends and family tried to hook me up with their friends whom they said were 'attractive','pretty','cute', etc...only to find out they were about 120 degrees away from that description.
3) maybe its where you ladies go...if you got to a club that has 'middle class' black folks mingling with those not QUITE in the middle class, you get a lot of 'lower class' guys who may simply find 'easier pickins' with women in their own class.
4) any number of other possibilities.
Both of them are very attractive I can send you pic of both of them if you like, one is half black half puerto rican and of one is full black, they have class and love to have fun!!
FOCAT

United States

#14 Jun 7, 2007
beautiful black woman wrote:
For example I have a cousin and sister who are both beautiful, smart and educated but are still single!! When we go out together alot of brothers only look and turn away when we walk by! What is up with that? Can I get a straight answer from a true brotha as to why you let a beautiful sister pass you by???
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Perhaps they may seem attractive and qualified to you, but not to the casual observer.

I don't know what their mannerisms are like too - maybe they are all that and a bag of chips and they wear it on their head like a bad weave and turn guys off.

It's hard to say without some more information and an in depth analysis. See me Tuesday at 6 and bring the ladies.
KIP

San Francisco, CA

#15 Jun 7, 2007
Gizelle wrote:
<quoted text>
You black men have nothing to be fed up about if anything you bring it upon yourselves. It has always been about you what about us black women, Dont you think that we ar fed up of irresponsible black men who have nothing to offer but to run away from their responsibilities.
Then why oh why get involved with some man who runs away from his responsibilities?

My sister did this. WHAT point is there in dedicating yourself to a deadbeat who is likely to cheat and live off you? I warned my sister, my mother warned her, my brother said things, even even neighbors warned my nutbag sister that the unnemployed Dr. Ghetto (and his 17 children by other women) would be a dead end. According to her, she had fallen in love with a REAL black man. It was sickening. The marriage lasted 12 months. They had a son the year before.

There you have it, so PLEASE don't set there and whine about yourself when YOU have made the bad choices.

Level 6

Since: May 07

Watsonville, CA

#16 Jun 7, 2007
KIP wrote:
<quoted text>
Maybe your cousin and sister have sent out signals on some level that they are not interested. Guys pick up on this. Maybe you ladies are going out to the wrong places to meet eligible men who would notice you. Educated, attractive women are not likely to attract the opposite in men. Then again maybe the guys are just afraid of the rejection. In this case it isn't just sistas, but many women.
It might be a good idea if your sister and cousin made the first move. Buy the guy a drink and be friendly. Try experimenting with something different than waiting for the guy to make the move.
Some times we do approach the men, we even say hi and damn you fine!!! LOL and they still walk away, oh and by the way this happens in san jose ca

Mack the Great

Since: May 07

United States

#17 Jun 7, 2007
Gizelle wrote:
<quoted text>
You black men have nothing to be fed up about if anything you bring it upon yourselves. It has always been about you what about us black women, Dont you think that we ar fed up of irresponsible black men who have nothing to offer but to run away from their responsibilities.
How are you Gizelle? For starters, I must let you know that I'm not athugs and I am acollege eduacted brother. Second of all and no disrespect to you Gizelle but how can you say that we brung upon oursleves when us normal educated black men didn't do anything to deserve this type of treatment from you black women? Sure, maybe the thugs deserve this type of treatment due to their irrational, immoral and irresponsible behavior but why us normal educated black men? I'm not ignorant to the fact that you black women have had it just as bad as us black men and it's good that you are starting to shun the thugged out black men in favor of normal educated black men but it still doesn't change the fact that black women had started this gender war. There was no reason for you black women to hate black men as you assumed that they were holding you back and out to oppress you. This was all due to the feminist movement engineered and conspired by white women to keep us black men and women divided from each other by making you black women the attitude rife women you have now became.(I'll tell you more about it if you want to learn more) Ever since I heard about that conspiracy I hated white women and I will never date one. I'm more than ready to devote the rest of my life with a black women that I can treat like a queen and will be responsible in my relation with her as thats what real black men like me do.

Since: May 07

Arlington, VA

#18 Jun 7, 2007
Gizelle wrote:
<quoted text>
You black men have nothing to be fed up about if anything you bring it upon yourselves. It has always been about you what about us black women, Dont you think that we ar fed up of irresponsible black men who have nothing to offer but to run away from their responsibilities.
its not about the opposite sex...its about the individual.

i've never had to accept 'shyt' from ANY woman because the second i see 'shyt a brewin', i'm out.

i didnt give b.s. to women i've dated, and i sure as hell won't take it.

so, if a woman is 'fed up' with a whole race and gender, that's not my problem; i'd think that if a man were 'fed up' with a whole race and gender, a quality woman simply would say thats not HER problem.

“La vie de cet homme ! ! ! ”

Since: Dec 06

Terre electrique de Dame

#19 Jun 7, 2007
ccheeksd wrote:
<quoted text> hahahahahahaaaaaaaa LMAO that had me laughing patriq. Well I guess I'll be going to your neck of the woods if I become single! LOL
I feel like I'm looking in on another world?!!? Where are these people from!!! Where Black men dont persue black women or Spanish or what, is every man where they live on the DL?!!? ha ha ha I wont go to a hole in the wall and expect to find a Queen walk thru the door, Where I go everyone is on the same page, networking, Career ops and yes money comes up too, but hook ups are why young single professional black women go to this place and all I see is black on black love, now the clubs where you have to go in with a friggin bazzooka and shoot and fight your way out the damn place!!! Hey I dont roll up in places ha ha ha so I have to say its all about where you go and who else goes there too. Come on up Cheeks I show you what time it is, you can tell from the parking lot whats up inside these places by peepin out the whips!!

Since: May 07

Arlington, VA

#20 Jun 7, 2007
beautiful black woman wrote:
<quoted text>
Both of them are very attractive I can send you pic of both of them if you like, one is half black half puerto rican and of one is full black, they have class and love to have fun!!
lol...that's okay, i'm not saying 'prove it'. i'm just offering up one of any number of possibilities.

again, if its not the 'they're ugly' case, then who knows?

i just know that clubs, for instance, are pretty difficult places to meet anyone.

for all you know, if you're at a club or similar 'meet market', some guys may figure you ladies aren't into 'one night stands' and thus pass you by for others;

some may have women already, and they're just hanging out at a club;

again, the answers are unlimted.

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