Why do so few Black women TRY to look...

Why do so few Black women TRY to look pretty?

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“Bow Chika Wow Wow”

Level 4

Since: Sep 12

Location hidden

#1 Feb 16, 2014
This is a stereotype, but when I look around it's actually TRUE. It's annoying to me, especially because who wants to belong to a group of women who are now KNOWN for not taking care of themselves or their appearance? There is a reason why there are studies and studies about Black girls being undesired, it's not because we're Black, because I never had any issue attracting guys, but it's because it seems that MANY Black chicks these days put zero effort into looking pretty, or trying to come across as pretty and cute. Why?

It's like Black females are either dressed down in bland clothes with their hair in a boring bun or a dry weave (why put a weave in when you clearly don't care about any other part of your physical self???!) OR they have a looonggggg weave, caked on makeup, tight clothes and they kind of look similar to drag queens! It's like the women in our race have never been taught how to be pretty in the U.S!!! >.<

I hate it because I'm sick of the stereotype that we're ugly, but its because a lot of Black chicks do look freaking ugly and boring compared to other races these days. I don't get it. My mother is Black, dark and taught me to carry myself well and dress up and be cute, and I've never experienced all of the negativity put on Black women as a group, but Black women as a group seem either really insecure, or hopeless in their appearance and how they view themselves. What gives!??
Clueless

United States

#2 Feb 16, 2014
PinkPearl wrote:
This is a stereotype, but when I look around it's actually TRUE. It's annoying to me, especially because who wants to belong to a group of women who are now KNOWN for not taking care of themselves or their appearance? There is a reason why there are studies and studies about Black girls being undesired, it's not because we're Black, because I never had any issue attracting guys, but it's because it seems that MANY Black chicks these days put zero effort into looking pretty, or trying to come across as pretty and cute. Why?
It's like Black females are either dressed down in bland clothes with their hair in a boring bun or a dry weave (why put a weave in when you clearly don't care about any other part of your physical self???!) OR they have a looonggggg weave, caked on makeup, tight clothes and they kind of look similar to drag queens! It's like the women in our race have never been taught how to be pretty in the U.S!!! >.<
I hate it because I'm sick of the stereotype that we're ugly, but its because a lot of Black chicks do look freaking ugly and boring compared to other races these days. I don't get it. My mother is Black, dark and taught me to carry myself well and dress up and be cute, and I've never experienced all of the negativity put on Black women as a group, but Black women as a group seem either really insecure, or hopeless in their appearance and how they view themselves. What gives!??
You hate the stereotype but create another troll/bait thread? Yeah, sure wm. Oh and get lost.

“Bow Chika Wow Wow”

Level 4

Since: Sep 12

Location hidden

#3 Feb 16, 2014
Clueless wrote:
<quoted text>
You hate the stereotype but create another troll/bait thread? Yeah, sure wm. Oh and get lost.
Gosh, shut up about me not being a real Black female. I AM a Black female, but I am just honest about what I see and notice. It's a stereotype because there are remnants of truth in it. I think Black women are the most insecure race of women, to the point that many do not want to try to be pretty because they already do not think they are.

I even notice this now in friends and stuff, but what am I supposed to say? "Why don't you try to be prettier!??" These girls look so blahhh, but I just have to sit back and look at all of the other Black females I come across who look just as bad and keep it all inside. People say we're unattractive as a race because MANY Black females in America seem to have NO CLUE how to actually be or come across as pretty. They're the only women in my city who I see in their 20s who will wear leggings with visible panty lines, ugly t-shirts and dry weaves and no makeup whatsoever. It's horrible. >.<
Clueless

Los Angeles, CA

#4 Feb 16, 2014
PinkPearl wrote:
<quoted text>
Gosh, shut up about me not being a real Black female
If you were really a black woman you would no better than to step to a black king like me and tell me what to do, trolling btch. You probably another white crack phag in here trying to get some big black c*ck.

If you ARE a black woman, then you need a major attitude adjustment, self-hating btch. Ill rape you into submission til you learn some dammed respect.
Clueless

United States

#5 Feb 16, 2014
PinkPearl wrote:
<quoted text>
Gosh, shut up about me not being a real Black female. I AM a Black female, but I am just honest about what I see and notice. It's a stereotype because there are remnants of truth in it. I think Black women are the most insecure race of women, to the point that many do not want to try to be pretty because they already do not think they are.
I even notice this now in friends and stuff, but what am I supposed to say? "Why don't you try to be prettier!??" These girls look so blahhh, but I just have to sit back and look at all of the other Black females I come across who look just as bad and keep it all inside. People say we're unattractive as a race because MANY Black females in America seem to have NO CLUE how to actually be or come across as pretty. They're the only women in my city who I see in their 20s who will wear leggings with visible panty lines, ugly t-shirts and dry weaves and no makeup whatsoever. It's horrible. >.<
I didn't read any of it. Bye.
Clueless

United States

#6 Feb 16, 2014
Clueless wrote:
<quoted text>
If you were really a black woman you would no better than to step to a black king like me and tell me what to do, trolling btch. You probably another white crack phag in here trying to get some big black c*ck.
If you ARE a black woman, then you need a major attitude adjustment, self-hating btch. Ill rape you into submission til you learn some dammed respect.
You need to quit trolling as me fool. Rape? Have you lost your rabid mofo mind? Don't answer that question because your various man on man themed posts all over this forum speaks for itself. Nut.

“B'in <3 by sum1 gives strength”

Since: Nov 13

but <3'in sum1 tks courage.

#7 Feb 16, 2014
PinkPearl wrote:
<quoted text>
Gosh, shut up about me not being a real Black female. I AM a Black female, but I am just honest about what I see and notice. It's a stereotype because there are remnants of truth in it. I think Black women are the most insecure race of women, to the point that many do not want to try to be pretty because they already do not think they are.
I even notice this now in friends and stuff, but what am I supposed to say? "Why don't you try to be prettier!??" These girls look so blahhh, but I just have to sit back and look at all of the other Black females I come across who look just as bad and keep it all inside. People say we're unattractive as a race because MANY Black females in America seem to have NO CLUE how to actually be or come across as pretty. They're the only women in my city who I see in their 20s who will wear leggings with visible panty lines, ugly t-shirts and dry weaves and no makeup whatsoever. It's horrible. >.<
"People say because..."

Perfect mark.

No... people don't say because it's true. They say it because it produces visible results in folks. Namely, you.

A) Those that feel bad already about their looks, begin to feel hopeless.
B) Those that feel good about their looks think they are the exception to the rule and distance themselves from other BW to reinforce a sense of inferiority in BW that may admire them.
C) There are those who are secure and don't care one way or another. But we aren't talking about them.

If you buy into what "people say" then explain the way Jews acted when that Ethiopian woman won their beauty contest. Did the other women react so cruelly to make her insecure or because she was ugly because "People say".

Learn the game.

“Bow Chika Wow Wow”

Level 4

Since: Sep 12

Location hidden

#8 Feb 16, 2014
Clueless wrote:
<quoted text>
You need to quit trolling as me fool. Rape? Have you lost your rabid mofo mind? Don't answer that question because your various man on man themed posts all over this forum speaks for itself. Nut.
Your troll is creepy!

Anyway, I'm not asking this Q to be rude, even though I know it is rude, but that's more do to my frustrations on this issue. My main concern is that many, many Black women LOOK insecure and come across as women who don't like themselves very much, and therefore do not try to take care of themselves or make themselves "pretty" in any way. That bothers me, it actually really, really bothers me because I feel like it's letting society have what it's always wanted, which is for Black women to FEEL as ugly as others have wanted us to be.

A Black woman who embraces her natural beauty and actually feels beautiful in being Black is HELLA sexy and yes, many people know and notice it because I used to get all of that attention. It's the insecurities of many Black females that keep our image down.

I mean, how is it possible that the MEN in our race are more obsessed with their looks and dressing well than many of the women are!???
Clueless

Los Angeles, CA

#10 Feb 16, 2014
PinkPearl wrote:
<quoted text>
Your troll is creepy!
Anyway, I'm not asking this Q to be rude, even though I know it is rude, but that's more do to my frustrations on this issue. My main concern is that many, many Black women LOOK insecure and come across as women who don't like themselves very much, and therefore do not try to take care of themselves or make themselves "pretty" in any way. That bothers me, it actually really, really bothers me because I feel like it's letting society have what it's always wanted, which is for Black women to FEEL as ugly as others have wanted us to be.
A Black woman who embraces her natural beauty and actually feels beautiful in being Black is HELLA sexy and yes, many people know and notice it because I used to get all of that attention. It's the insecurities of many Black females that keep our image down.
I mean, how is it possible that the MEN in our race are more obsessed with their looks and dressing well than many of the women are!???
What the hell does that mean? So black men look good and we know and we try to dress nice cause we're a bunch phags or something??? STFU If you love phags, go be with the white men you love so much.

Most of them what the big c*ck, and you too stupid to get any cause you an angry btch!
Clueless

United States

#11 Feb 16, 2014
PinkPearl wrote:
<quoted text>
Your troll is creepy!
Anyway, I'm not asking this Q to be rude, even though I know it is rude, but that's more do to my frustrations on this issue. My main concern is that many, many Black women LOOK insecure and come across as women who don't like themselves very much, and therefore do not try to take care of themselves or make themselves "pretty" in any way. That bothers me, it actually really, really bothers me because I feel like it's letting society have what it's always wanted, which is for Black women to FEEL as ugly as others have wanted us to be.
A Black woman who embraces her natural beauty and actually feels beautiful in being Black is HELLA sexy and yes, many people know and notice it because I used to get all of that attention. It's the insecurities of many Black females that keep our image down.
I mean, how is it possible that the MEN in our race are more obsessed with their looks and dressing well than many of the women are!???
Yes, he is very creepy. There are some seriously insane people online.
Clueless

United States

#12 Feb 16, 2014
Clueless wrote:
<quoted text>
What the hell does that mean? So black men look good and we know and we try to dress nice cause we're a bunch phags or something??? STFU If you love phags, go be with the white men you love so much.
Most of them what the big c*ck, and you too stupid to get any cause you an angry btch!
Anderson, are you high? Im only asking because several posters have mentioned that you use cocaine. Your behavior is very strange.

“Bow Chika Wow Wow”

Level 4

Since: Sep 12

Location hidden

#13 Feb 16, 2014
The nMe Within wrote:
<quoted text>
"People say because..."
Perfect mark.
No... people don't say because it's true. They say it because it produces visible results in folks. Namely, you.
A) Those that feel bad already about their looks, begin to feel hopeless.
B) Those that feel good about their looks think they are the exception to the rule and distance themselves from other BW to reinforce a sense of inferiority in BW that may admire them.
C) There are those who are secure and don't care one way or another. But we aren't talking about them.
If you buy into what "people say" then explain the way Jews acted when that Ethiopian woman won their beauty contest. Did the other women react so cruelly to make her insecure or because she was ugly because "People say".
Learn the game.
I don't try to make anyone feel insecure at all. I would LOOOVVEEE for more Black females to notice the potential we have as a group and to take advantage of that. Our ancestors were made to feel ugly and inferior to other races of women. We shouldn't just accept that idea for ourselves, we should show off that we actually ARE beautiful and unique which, to me, makes us special and pretty cool, tbh, lol. I love being Black, I know you may not like me, but my annoyances on here are more from frustrations because I can't understand why I personally feel so happy with myself, but I find that missing in sooooo many other Black people. SO MANY. I didn't grow up around Black people, which bothers me even more because I don't get it. People are aware of the self hate in the community, and yet, those with the worst issues still run rampant, or people are in denial about their own insecurities and refuse to acknowledge how much they dislike themselves.

I just think it's really, really sad.

“Bow Chika Wow Wow”

Level 4

Since: Sep 12

Location hidden

#14 Feb 16, 2014
I point this out because we all know the truth, many Black women are just insecure, but it's not the same kind of insecurity that others deal with. A White girl may feel insecure because she's overweight or chubby, but she could change that if she worked really hard. She'd be insecure because she doesn't want to have to work out hours every day, but she doesn't like her body, so she complains, feels ashamed and may hide her body in certain clothes. Black female insecurity is more due to race and her permanent features. There is no real possibility of changing that, an insecure Black girl will always be Black. So it seems many of these girls just try to hide themselves in a way, they don't want to stand out, but their shame in themselves will make them buy a weave, and wear it no matter how dry or unattractive it is, in her mind it's better than her natural hair. Fewer will try to stay healthy or take care of themselves internally or externally, because she doesn't value herself anyway. It goes on and on, and THIS is what you see with too many Black females these days.

So yes, it is sad and I hope it can change, but at this point, I have no idea how. More Black girls need to spread the word that we should start a movement of building confidence and HAPPINESS in more Black females. Stop the stereotypical kinds of personalities, smile more often, wear cute (colorful too! Color is beautiful on brown skin!!) dresses and stuff and just be more at ease with our natural selves. That would be nice.

“Get use to the cold!”

Level 5

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#15 Feb 16, 2014
PinkPearl wrote:
I point this out because we all know the truth, many Black women are just insecure, but it's not the same kind of insecurity that others deal with. A White girl may feel insecure because she's overweight or chubby, but she could change that if she worked really hard. She'd be insecure because she doesn't want to have to work out hours every day, but she doesn't like her body, so she complains, feels ashamed and may hide her body in certain clothes. Black female insecurity is more due to race and her permanent features. There is no real possibility of changing that, an insecure Black girl will always be Black. So it seems many of these girls just try to hide themselves in a way, they don't want to stand out, but their shame in themselves will make them buy a weave, and wear it no matter how dry or unattractive it is, in her mind it's better than her natural hair. Fewer will try to stay healthy or take care of themselves internally or externally, because she doesn't value herself anyway. It goes on and on, and THIS is what you see with too many Black females these days.
So yes, it is sad and I hope it can change, but at this point, I have no idea how. More Black girls need to spread the word that we should start a movement of building confidence and HAPPINESS in more Black females. Stop the stereotypical kinds of personalities, smile more often, wear cute (colorful too! Color is beautiful on brown skin!!) dresses and stuff and just be more at ease with our natural selves. That would be nice.
What a f u cking b it ch Lol. No ho it's more to do with bw don't have millions upon millions of commercials and tv shows, and magazine giving them help on how to look their best, it's to do with economics, for all the insecure bw there may be more women of other races are throwing themselves off bridges due to lack of self esteem.

There are many reasons why some bw don't make the effort and I think the first thing is that they don't have any guidance in how to present themselves well. Plus I've noticed bw are the only race of women who don't follow other women, for example ww tend to copy any ww celeb that gets attention, they will make selfies looking like some celeb, have their hair the same way, pose the same way, get butt, lips, dye, get curves, get skinny to emulate their favorite ww. Bw have lots of bw beauty celebs such as G Union, Beyonce, Nia Long, Halle etc to get style tips from but bw all like to be individual and do their own thing. Second thing bw have to do it by themselves, they don't have french, Italian designers etc making clothes throughout history to fit their body shape, hair and style guru's, perfume makers, make-up makers. It's going to take some time for bw to get established in these areas and really create things that suit bw and enhance bw beauty. In the 90's many bw had it locked down, but then constant propaganda came along to bring down some bw who let it, plus poor neighborhoods. Some bw don't feel safe dressing pretty around some ghetto bm.

Plus it's no coincidence that wp lead in plastic surgery and the fact that many of them were looking rough in the 90's suddenly started looking a little better in the 00's. Many ww have had plastic surgery, little things like nose jobs, ears pined back to major body surgery, most Lebanese women have had nose jobs to get rid of their big noses, this is the same everywhere with ww, they just don't admit it.

Level 4

Since: May 13

Location hidden

#16 Feb 16, 2014
PinkPearl wrote:
I point this out because we all know the truth, many Black women are just insecure, but it's not the same kind of insecurity that others deal with. A White girl may feel insecure because she's overweight or chubby, but she could change that if she worked really hard. She'd be insecure because she doesn't want to have to work out hours every day, but she doesn't like her body, so she complains, feels ashamed and may hide her body in certain clothes. Black female insecurity is more due to race and her permanent features. There is no real possibility of changing that, an insecure Black girl will always be Black. So it seems many of these girls just try to hide themselves in a way, they don't want to stand out, but their shame in themselves will make them buy a weave, and wear it no matter how dry or unattractive it is, in her mind it's better than her natural hair. Fewer will try to stay healthy or take care of themselves internally or externally, because she doesn't value herself anyway. It goes on and on, and THIS is what you see with too many Black females these days.
So yes, it is sad and I hope it can change, but at this point, I have no idea how. More Black girls need to spread the word that we should start a movement of building confidence and HAPPINESS in more Black females. Stop the stereotypical kinds of personalities, smile more often, wear cute (colorful too! Color is beautiful on brown skin!!) dresses and stuff and just be more at ease with our natural selves. That would be nice.
I agree. I think to a certain extent, many BW in the states believe that they are undesirable so many do not try.
Clueless

United States

#17 Feb 16, 2014
TimeforHonesty wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree. I think to a certain extent, many BW in the states believe that they are undesirable so many do not try.
Tee hee hee hee. Where have you've been hiding out with your sorry azz?
flyness

UK

#18 Feb 16, 2014
PinkPearl wrote:
This is a stereotype, but when I look around it's actually TRUE. It's annoying to me, especially because who wants to belong to a group of women who are now KNOWN for not taking care of themselves or their appearance? There is a reason why there are studies and studies about Black girls being undesired, it's not because we're Black, because I never had any issue attracting guys, but it's because it seems that MANY Black chicks these days put zero effort into looking pretty, or trying to come across as pretty and cute. Why?
It's like Black females are either dressed down in bland clothes with their hair in a boring bun or a dry weave (why put a weave in when you clearly don't care about any other part of your physical self???!) OR they have a looonggggg weave, caked on makeup, tight clothes and they kind of look similar to drag queens! It's like the women in our race have never been taught how to be pretty in the U.S!!! >.<
I hate it because I'm sick of the stereotype that we're ugly, but its because a lot of Black chicks do look freaking ugly and boring compared to other races these days. I don't get it. My mother is Black, dark and taught me to carry myself well and dress up and be cute, and I've never experienced all of the negativity put on Black women as a group, but Black women as a group seem either really insecure, or hopeless in their appearance and how they view themselves. What gives!??
You are a strange weird troll so sad, so very sad.

“Repent and worship God”

Since: Jul 13

Location hidden

#19 Feb 16, 2014
PinkPearl wrote:
This is a stereotype, but when I look around it's actually TRUE. It's annoying to me, especially because who wants to belong to a group of women who are now KNOWN for not taking care of themselves or their appearance? There is a reason why there are studies and studies about Black girls being undesired, it's not because we're Black, because I never had any issue attracting guys, but it's because it seems that MANY Black chicks these days put zero effort into looking pretty, or trying to come across as pretty and cute. Why?

It's like Black females are either dressed down in bland clothes with their hair in a boring bun or a dry weave (why put a weave in when you clearly don't care about any other part of your physical self???!) OR they have a looonggggg weave, caked on makeup, tight clothes and they kind of look similar to drag queens! It's like the women in our race have never been taught how to be pretty in the U.S!!! >.<

I hate it because I'm sick of the stereotype that we're ugly, but its because a lot of Black chicks do look freaking ugly and boring compared to other races these days. I don't get it. My mother is Black, dark and taught me to carry myself well and dress up and be cute, and I've never experienced all of the negativity put on Black women as a group, but Black women as a group seem either really insecure, or hopeless in their appearance and how they view themselves. What gives!??
I see the opposite of what you're seeing. Perhaps it's where you tend to spend your time.

“B'in <3 by sum1 gives strength”

Since: Nov 13

but <3'in sum1 tks courage.

#20 Feb 16, 2014
PinkPearl wrote:
I point this out because we all know the truth, many Black women are just insecure, but it's not the same kind of insecurity that others deal with. A White girl may feel insecure because she's overweight or chubby, but she could change that if she worked really hard. She'd be insecure because she doesn't want to have to work out hours every day, but she doesn't like her body, so she complains, feels ashamed and may hide her body in certain clothes. Black female insecurity is more due to race and her permanent features. There is no real possibility of changing that, an insecure Black girl will always be Black. So it seems many of these girls just try to hide themselves in a way, they don't want to stand out, but their shame in themselves will make them buy a weave, and wear it no matter how dry or unattractive it is, in her mind it's better than her natural hair. Fewer will try to stay healthy or take care of themselves internally or externally, because she doesn't value herself anyway. It goes on and on, and THIS is what you see with too many Black females these days.
So yes, it is sad and I hope it can change, but at this point, I have no idea how. More Black girls need to spread the word that we should start a movement of building confidence and HAPPINESS in more Black females. Stop the stereotypical kinds of personalities, smile more often, wear cute (colorful too! Color is beautiful on brown skin!!) dresses and stuff and just be more at ease with our natural selves. That would be nice.
Insecurity is thrown onto many of these women because they lack a proper support system.

Regardless of looks I can tell you it begins at home. From mom, dad and sisters and brothers.

I've grown up in a place where I had no concept of racism or colorism. By the time I was faced with it I had too much self-history to be wilted by lies or manipulation.

When you openly say things like BW have low esteem about their looks, I understand your motive is to help, but you are clumsy in your approach. You are brining more shame because you also represent them.

This is a problem I tried to point out to Kip once.

Saying, "I don't count because I'm the acception so I can criticize" doesn't work here.

You are a BW. If they (BW)have low self-esteem, by your own admission, then you do too because you generalized all BW. You should be saying to yourself why do I not see more stereotypes that are positive when BW stand out from other races? Why doesn't anyone "CHOOSE" to remember?

Let me give you an example.

If I sit you in a room in front of a mirror. When look you, like what you see staring back at you.

But when I cut off the lights, as you sit in the dark you hear people outside the room saying how ugly you are.

Do you stop recalling what you felt about yourself?
Do you begin to feel you are what others say and not what you recall feeling about yourself without their opinions?

That's what a lot of BW are doing, and you are hear reinforcing their words. They are in the dark listening to feed back. But those people don't know squat.

A woman projects her worth from inside. How she walks and talks. She can dress up all she wants but that gives the exterior power over who she is inside.

That's not the way to go. BW cannot win unless they agree to not forget that you feeling they had of themselves when they first looked in the mirror. And stop tearing each other down in front of other women.

“B'in <3 by sum1 gives strength”

Since: Nov 13

but <3'in sum1 tks courage.

#21 Feb 16, 2014
(comma placement was a mistake)

"If I sit you in a room in front of a mirror. When look, you like what you see staring back at you."

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