Why are pretty girls insecure?

Posted in the African-American Forum

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“angel”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#1 Jan 14, 2008
Just wondering
nunyalicious

Chicago, IL

#2 Jan 14, 2008
BOSSY wrote:
Just wondering
When I was younger, I was very pretty (not being conceited, just what I was told) but very insecure. Why? I came from an environment of not being given good feedback about myself. When guys started noticing me, I felt like I had something of value. The POWER I felt having all heads turn was intoxicating. Really.

However, now that I am in my early 40s and growing older, I realize that looks are so shallow. Believe me, I always knew this, but I had to cling to something to feel good about myself. That's probably what you see with these girls. Because if they are raised correctly, they will not use their looks as a self-esteem boost. They will be about something more because they have that parental acceptance.

“the answer to 1984 is 1776”

Level 1

Since: Jan 08

cali girl born & raised

#3 Jan 14, 2008
i think because beautiful women are constantly being told they're beautiful and receiving special treatment. some (not all) begin to base their self worth on their outer beauty while at the same time knowing that it won't last forever.

when the attention and flattery stops or if their beauty fades/comes into question, then the insecurities surface.

Since: Oct 07

Hopewell Junction, NY

#4 Jan 14, 2008
Black-Cuban_Mami wrote:
i think because beautiful women are constantly being told they're beautiful and receiving special treatment. some (not all) begin to base their self worth on their outer beauty while at the same time knowing that it won't last forever.
when the attention and flattery stops or if their beauty fades/comes into question, then the insecurities surface.
I agree.

“My life my Jesus”

Since: Nov 07

Highland

#6 Jan 14, 2008
BOSSY wrote:
Just wondering
I've been wanting to know that for years. It's seems like a lot of "pretty" women have low self esteem. Most women put a lot of value into their looks. Once a man comes in a ruins that, then what is left. From the Halle Berry's to Stacy Dash. The list goes on an on. Being as Vulupous as I am you would think there was some kind insecurety there but it's not. It's all in the way you were raised. I had strong Black women in my corner once my mom passed away. They DID NOT allow any type of low esteem in the house PERIOD. We were taught to hold our head high an walk like the waves in the ocean.
berwyn babe

Chicago, IL

#7 Jan 14, 2008
Black-Cuban_Mami wrote:
i think because beautiful women are constantly being told they're beautiful and receiving special treatment. some (not all) begin to base their self worth on their outer beauty while at the same time knowing that it won't last forever.
when the attention and flattery stops or if their beauty fades/comes into question, then the insecurities surface.
Nope. She's talking about pretty girls being insecure WHILE they are pretty and being flattered. And I maintain that they don't feel worthwhile except for that quality.

I am an intelligent woman, yet was discounted during my 20s by men, due to my "pretty face" and "hot body." I remember a man at a bar telling a male friend of mine that I was a ten (I think I was close to 30 at the time), but not telling me! It was like I was an object and so speaking to me directly wasn't necessary.

Aging has been a real trip. I actually look younger than my years because I have a wholesome lifestyle, except for my coffee/sugar vices, which I am going to beat! But it is still hard to not be the pretty young woman in the room, despite how I look...I mean, when you get called "ma'am" for the first time, that's when you realize that you have to "woman up" and accept your years with dignity instead of trying to cling to being hot. So I am trying to be attractive instead of merely sexy.

“iM THE TRUTH ... Y WULD i LiE ”

Since: Sep 07

kENYAN.BORN.TEXAS.MADE

#8 Jan 14, 2008
Good question!!!
Black-Cuban_Mami wrote:
i think because beautiful women are constantly being told they're beautiful and receiving special treatment. some (not all) begin to base their self worth on their outer beauty while at the same time knowing that it won't last forever.
when the attention and flattery stops or if their beauty fades/comes into question, then the insecurities surface.
great answer

“angel”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#9 Jan 14, 2008
Black-Cuban_Mami wrote:
i think because beautiful women are constantly being told they're beautiful and receiving special treatment. some (not all) begin to base their self worth on their outer beauty while at the same time knowing that it won't last forever.
when the attention and flattery stops or if their beauty fades/comes into question, then the insecurities surface.
I agree with this 100%!!!! OMG you sound like me, I was just explaining this to someone else the same way!

Since: Dec 07

Norwich, UK

#11 Jan 14, 2008
and maybe some are insecure and put themselves down as they want to hear more compliments ?

“the king of his environment”

Level 3

Since: Oct 07

Washington, DC

#12 Jan 14, 2008
I didn't know I was pretty until about 5 years ago. Nobody told me and guys never asked me out. I was insecure for other reasons, though.
C-star

Tampa, FL

#13 Jan 14, 2008
I don't think its just a pretty woman's issue, I think all women have insecurities. Just because your pretty doesn't mean your perfect. Maybe pretty women dwell more on their insecurities because they feel they have to live up to the hype surrounding their looks.

Level 1

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#14 Jan 14, 2008
I always felt i was ugly in highschool. I was told i was ugly etc.
Took me years to get any kind of confidence. But my sister snapped me out of it, and i developed my own style etc and then i realised im not that bad.
I wouldnt say im a pretty girl, but i think i have a cute face LOL

“~Sassy~ ”

Since: Dec 06

Sunny Southern California

#15 Jan 14, 2008
Black-Cuban_Mami wrote:
i think because beautiful women are constantly being told they're beautiful and receiving special treatment. some (not all) begin to base their self worth on their outer beauty while at the same time knowing that it won't last forever.
when the attention and flattery stops or if their beauty fades/comes into question, then the insecurities surface.
I think that is true. I had a friend who based all her self looks on her worth and when she started to show some 'age'.. she really had a problem with it...

“~Sassy~ ”

Since: Dec 06

Sunny Southern California

#16 Jan 14, 2008
I think our self esteem has a lot to do with our environment, how we are raised, the things we are taught..

and a strong person can be brought down if they are beat down emotionally.. such as an abused women will lose all her self esteem and it can be tour down little by little by the abusor so she doesn't see it going until it is gone

“the answer to 1984 is 1776”

Level 1

Since: Jan 08

cali girl born & raised

#17 Jan 14, 2008
berwyn babe wrote:
<quoted text>
Nope. She's talking about pretty girls being insecure WHILE they are pretty and being flattered. And I maintain that they don't feel worthwhile except for that quality.
I am an intelligent woman, yet was discounted during my 20s by men, due to my "pretty face" and "hot body." I remember a man at a bar telling a male friend of mine that I was a ten (I think I was close to 30 at the time), but not telling me! It was like I was an object and so speaking to me directly wasn't necessary.
Aging has been a real trip. I actually look younger than my years because I have a wholesome lifestyle, except for my coffee/sugar vices, which I am going to beat! But it is still hard to not be the pretty young woman in the room, despite how I look...I mean, when you get called "ma'am" for the first time, that's when you realize that you have to "woman up" and accept your years with dignity instead of trying to cling to being hot. So I am trying to be attractive instead of merely sexy.
naaah, i understood the question as posed.

i answered it based on a woman being beautiful in her youthful years. when a woman still has her physical beauty, and is still young, the day when all of that will fade is on her mind- trust me.

also, age doesn't have to take away someone's beauty. i know a lot of models who are TERRIFIED of being disfigured. i mean, i'm not too keen on being disfigured either, but i don't obsess on it.

i feel i answered the question as posed.

“the answer to 1984 is 1776”

Level 1

Since: Jan 08

cali girl born & raised

#18 Jan 14, 2008
BOSSY wrote:
<quoted text>I agree with this 100%!!!! OMG you sound like me, I was just explaining this to someone else the same way!
a lot of beautiful women constantly need attention and approval from EVERYONE. i see it everyday in hollywood, drop dead model gorgeous women with the ugliest attitudes and insecurity complexes.

but not all though, some beautiful women have other attributes which augment their beauty so they don't obsess over their physical beauty as much.
The Truth

Brooklyn, NY

#19 Jan 14, 2008
Black-Cuban_Mami wrote:
i think because beautiful women are constantly being told they're beautiful and receiving special treatment. some (not all) begin to base their self worth on their outer beauty while at the same time knowing that it won't last forever.
when the attention and flattery stops or if their beauty fades/comes into question, then the insecurities surface.
If that's your back i hope you didn't pay for that tramp stamp that thing is ugly as hell.

“the answer to 1984 is 1776”

Level 1

Since: Jan 08

cali girl born & raised

#20 Jan 14, 2008
Oopey wrote:
and maybe some are insecure and put themselves down as they want to hear more compliments ?
yeah, they're fishing for compliments. they WANT to hear "oh, you're not ugly. you're pretty!"

nothing is worse than hearing a size 0 bitching about how fat she is!!!!!

“the answer to 1984 is 1776”

Level 1

Since: Jan 08

cali girl born & raised

#21 Jan 14, 2008
SassyJ wrote:
<quoted text>I think that is true. I had a friend who based all her self looks on her worth and when she started to show some 'age'.. she really had a problem with it...
that's sad, because that's when women can turn bitter and catty towards other women or younger women.

i've always wondered society views men as getting *distinguished* as they age.. lol and women, we just *age.* it's pretty sad actually.

“Mr. Biggs”

Level 1

Since: Jan 08

houston.tx

#22 Jan 14, 2008
I've always wondered this myself. I've seen big girls with more confidence than a model. I think some men like the fact that "pretty girls" are insecure.

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