Well, you always seem to take an antithetical position to reality, leaving me to deductively conclude that you two at some point in the past must of had a big falling out and you are now holding a grudge against her. Because I have never encountered anyone who denies or argues counter to reality as much as you do.
You need not lecture me about the ethos of marriage, but suffice it to say, you can never eliminate the human components of "desire to control" and "greed and selfishness" from the marital dynamic. People, by biological design, are primarily committed to the own survival, needs and wants and will usually leverage from within the confines of marriage what they perceive to be their power in order to secure those things that they need and want. A PIECE OF PAPER FROM CITY HALL IS NO MATCH FOR HUMAN BIOLOGY!
So, while your theoretical rules of what should and should not take place within the confines of marriage are nice, they however, more times than not, are just suggestible rules lying dormant in some e-book being sold on Amazon by the latest marital guru anointed by your girl OPRAH.
And as far as your rambling incoherent dissertation on NETWORTH, I'll simply point you back to that whole "you and reality" thing. How is a that woman with a child, always running a budget deficit for the material things that she need and wants for herself and her child not "just existing?"
She has no operational latitude or margin of era because should she lose her job, a three day notice will soon appear on her apartment door. And how exactly does she have freedom when she spends 40-60 hours a week selling her labor for a pay check, returning home to cook and care for her child and then try to grab a couple of hours of sleep before she begins the whole cycle over again?
If the poor child needs $30 dollars for a field trip....Mama don't have it to spare! Economics directly effect the quality of all our lives. So Stop being so stubborn and sit down and break bread with reality and end this thing between you two!
Have you ever thought your "reality" is a f!ck'd reality?? If YOU choose to run your marriage negotiating resources and love, that's your business. However, for most of us, that doesn't make for a happy existence. It also is a contributor to divorce (where women in general come off better financially anyway). So, hey, play the game as you choose. Who am I to judge? As I've said, women like myself (the majority) don't consider resources and love as side items in a marriage. In fact, women like myself find you absurd. What good does it do men to play that sort of game given the divorce rates where women come out in general better? What good does it do the average married black couple where they in general don't have much money to begin with?
No wonder so many of them are so unhappy together and would rather live in a cardboard box than with each other. You once again, don't make sense.
As far as the risk of losing one job, well it's a GOOD RISK. Part of living in a capalistic society is about inherent risk when one takes action. It's the same risk a business owners take.
Do SOME mothers struggle to meet the wants of their children? Sure. But it certainly isn't all; and usually it isn't all the time. Some struggle is even beneficial to the child as it teaches them that what we want and need in this world must be worked for.
But thankfully, the babymama culture is dying anyway and these women will be free as birds to enjoy life and take advantage of opportunities which will increase their freedoms.