Can you kill your stalker and get awa...

Can you kill your stalker and get away with it????

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Since: Oct 07

Syosset, NY

#1 Jan 15, 2008
If I'm not mistaken I came across a discussion with BrooklyJao being stalked and it came to my attention that I have been stalked for three years. I'm only 22 years old and I was in a Highschool relationship with this guy from the age of 16-19(almost twenty) there were signs but I was so young and STUPID minded and thought it was cute that my boyfriend was controlling, well he became a very needy person in our last 6months of our relationship. His sister was in jail his mom married some guy our of prison and then he was kicked out of their home because of the mothers relationship. Thats when I became motherly and I allowed him to sleep on the side of my bed for weeks at a time without my parents knowing .We found his uncle who lived in Queens and he stayed there for almost a year until he lost his job and he couldn't pay his contribution to his uncles home.I tried getting him back in school and tried fnding him a job. This became stressful and I felt I was too young to be going through this so I broke it off. The stalking was mild in the beginning, as far as calling my house and my cell phone but my parents changes the house number and I changed my cell phone number. NOW he started appearing at my home. Then he came to my job. I went to the police the first time he threw rocks at my window 3:00am in the morning. The I filed for an order of protection and I was granted with that. Now he steals my fathers car, came to my job and embarrassed me but I called the cops without him knowing and he was arrested everything that he's done is on record. He tried to literally break into my parents home sometime last year and he was screaming through the door that he loves me. This is very scary. Well yesterday my dad gives me two letters that was sent to his home because I don't live with my parents no more. We all live in Brooklyn but I live in a different part I'm about 15-20min away. So my dad gives me these letters and they are from my ex-boyfriend (STALKER) he's incarcerated and he threatened my life in the letter. He told me he will kill me when he gets out. I went to the precint and filed a compalint and I was told that in a few days a detective will be assigned to this case again and he will contact me. I have not been contacted yet so I called the precint today and they told me it may take up to 3-5 days before I'm contacted. I'm paranoid and scared. I know he is capable of murdering me and I'm terrified. The most he can do is 5 years for violation of order of protection. My question is, can I kill him and get away with it? There's no way to get rid of a stalker. I hear too many stories about women being murdered because of a jealous ex-boyfriend. Is anyone familiar with the justice system? I don't know what to do.

“angel”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#2 Jan 15, 2008
MissBossy07 wrote:
If I'm not mistaken I came across a discussion with BrooklyJao being stalked and it came to my attention that I have been stalked for three years. I'm only 22 years old and I was in a Highschool relationship with this guy from the age of 16-19(almost twenty) there were signs but I was so young and STUPID minded and thought it was cute that my boyfriend was controlling, well he became a very needy person in our last 6months of our relationship. His sister was in jail his mom married some guy our of prison and then he was kicked out of their home because of the mothers relationship. Thats when I became motherly and I allowed him to sleep on the side of my bed for weeks at a time without my parents knowing .We found his uncle who lived in Queens and he stayed there for almost a year until he lost his job and he couldn't pay his contribution to his uncles home.I tried getting him back in school and tried fnding him a job. This became stressful and I felt I was too young to be going through this so I broke it off. The stalking was mild in the beginning, as far as calling my house and my cell phone but my parents changes the house number and I changed my cell phone number. NOW he started appearing at my home. Then he came to my job. I went to the police the first time he threw rocks at my window 3:00am in the morning. The I filed for an order of protection and I was granted with that. Now he steals my fathers car, came to my job and embarrassed me but I called the cops without him knowing and he was arrested everything that he's done is on record. He tried to literally break into my parents home sometime last year and he was screaming through the door that he loves me. This is very scary. Well yesterday my dad gives me two letters that was sent to his home because I don't live with my parents no more. We all live in Brooklyn but I live in a different part I'm about 15-20min away. So my dad gives me these letters and they are from my ex-boyfriend (STALKER) he's incarcerated and he threatened my life in the letter. He told me he will kill me when he gets out. I went to the precint and filed a compalint and I was told that in a few days a detective will be assigned to this case again and he will contact me. I have not been contacted yet so I called the precint today and they told me it may take up to 3-5 days before I'm contacted. I'm paranoid and scared. I know he is capable of murdering me and I'm terrified. The most he can do is 5 years for violation of order of protection. My question is, can I kill him and get away with it? There's no way to get rid of a stalker. I hear too many stories about women being murdered because of a jealous ex-boyfriend. Is anyone familiar with the justice system? I don't know what to do.
OMG I am so soryy to hear what you are going through. do not even think of killing that man. Go to the police. Talk to whoever you can and let them know you are afraid for your life. I dont want to see anything happen to you. Are your parents aware of whats going on?? Im scared for you girl, go get the help you need. I will look more into this and see if I can get you better advice.

Since: Oct 07

chicago

#3 Jan 15, 2008
dammm..what happened to cousins, uncles..etc.????

How come the men in yo family ain't stomped his azz yet?????

“Learn to love yourself first!!”

Since: Oct 07

Georgia Peach

#4 Jan 15, 2008
MissBossy07 wrote:
If I'm not mistaken I came across a discussion with BrooklyJao being stalked and it came to my attention that I have been stalked for three years. I'm only 22 years old and I was in a Highschool relationship with this guy from the age of 16-19(almost twenty) there were signs but I was so young and STUPID minded and thought it was cute that my boyfriend was controlling, well he became a very needy person in our last 6months of our relationship. His sister was in jail his mom married some guy our of prison and then he was kicked out of their home because of the mothers relationship. Thats when I became motherly and I allowed him to sleep on the side of my bed for weeks at a time without my parents knowing .We found his uncle who lived in Queens and he stayed there for almost a year until he lost his job and he couldn't pay his contribution to his uncles home.I tried getting him back in school and tried fnding him a job. This became stressful and I felt I was too young to be going through this so I broke it off. The stalking was mild in the beginning, as far as calling my house and my cell phone but my parents changes the house number and I changed my cell phone number. NOW he started appearing at my home. Then he came to my job. I went to the police the first time he threw rocks at my window 3:00am in the morning. The I filed for an order of protection and I was granted with that. Now he steals my fathers car, came to my job and embarrassed me but I called the cops without him knowing and he was arrested everything that he's done is on record. He tried to literally break into my parents home sometime last year and he was screaming through the door that he loves me. This is very scary. Well yesterday my dad gives me two letters that was sent to his home because I don't live with my parents no more. We all live in Brooklyn but I live in a different part I'm about 15-20min away. So my dad gives me these letters and they are from my ex-boyfriend (STALKER) he's incarcerated and he threatened my life in the letter. He told me he will kill me when he gets out. I went to the precint and filed a compalint and I was told that in a few days a detective will be assigned to this case again and he will contact me. I have not been contacted yet so I called the precint today and they told me it may take up to 3-5 days before I'm contacted. I'm paranoid and scared. I know he is capable of murdering me and I'm terrified. The most he can do is 5 years for violation of order of protection. My question is, can I kill him and get away with it? There's no way to get rid of a stalker. I hear too many stories about women being murdered because of a jealous ex-boyfriend. Is anyone familiar with the justice system? I don't know what to do.
I would say keep a gun with you at all times. You have that he has been stalking you on record. You have a right to protect urself

Level 1

Since: Apr 07

Sterling Heights, MI

#5 Jan 15, 2008
I ma sorry you are dealing with this.

You have every right to protect yourself, however when using physical and possibly lethal force, there are strict laws as to it's application.

Educate yourself on your rights and the laws regarding lethal force.

If you are going to have a gun, make sure you are legal and take both gun laws, gun safety, and target classes.

Take a self defense/personal safety class.

Buy a personal Tazor and some mace/pepper spray.

Educate yourself on the mindset of a stalker, you can find plenty of information on the web. Research several different sources.

All you can do is empower yourself by educating yourself by researching relevant info, taking safety classes, arming yourself with legal weapons you can use correctly, and using your public resources (police, courts, restraining orders, etc).

I have been there, it ain't fun, I know. Hang in there sweety!

“Logic”

Since: Jun 07

Land Of Mathematics

#6 Jan 15, 2008
MissBossy07 wrote:
If I'm not mistaken I came across a discussion with BrooklyJao being stalked and it came to my attention that I have been stalked for three years. I'm only 22 years old and I was in a Highschool relationship with this guy from the age of 16-19(almost twenty) there were signs but I was so young and STUPID minded and thought it was cute that my boyfriend was controlling, well he became a very needy person in our last 6months of our relationship. His sister was in jail his mom married some guy our of prison and then he was kicked out of their home because of the mothers relationship. Thats when I became motherly and I allowed him to sleep on the side of my bed for weeks at a time without my parents knowing .We found his uncle who lived in Queens and he stayed there for almost a year until he lost his job and he couldn't pay his contribution to his uncles home.I tried getting him back in school and tried fnding him a job. This became stressful and I felt I was too young to be going through this so I broke it off. The stalking was mild in the beginning, as far as calling my house and my cell phone but my parents changes the house number and I changed my cell phone number. NOW he started appearing at my home. Then he came to my job. I went to the police the first time he threw rocks at my window 3:00am in the morning. The I filed for an order of protection and I was granted with that. Now he steals my fathers car, came to my job and embarrassed me but I called the cops without him knowing and he was arrested everything that he's done is on record. He tried to literally break into my parents home sometime last year and he was screaming through the door that he loves me. This is very scary. Well yesterday my dad gives me two letters that was sent to his home because I don't live with my parents no more. We all live in Brooklyn but I live in a different part I'm about 15-20min away. So my dad gives me these letters and they are from my ex-boyfriend (STALKER) he's incarcerated and he threatened my life in the letter. He told me he will kill me when he gets out. I went to the precint and filed a compalint and I was told that in a few days a detective will be assigned to this case again and he will contact me. I have not been contacted yet so I called the precint today and they told me it may take up to 3-5 days before I'm contacted. I'm paranoid and scared. I know he is capable of murdering me and I'm terrified. The most he can do is 5 years for violation of order of protection. My question is, can I kill him and get away with it? There's no way to get rid of a stalker. I hear too many stories about women being murdered because of a jealous ex-boyfriend. Is anyone familiar with the justice system? I don't know what to do.
I am sorry about what you have been through. My only advice to you is
1. Go to the Police and let them know about the situation and make sure you get the protection from them
2. If you could afford to move out of the states, it would be better for you to do. There are about 50 states, choose the one you think you might like. But don't ignore the protection from Police.
3. You might need to be anonymous on the internet so that he does not track you once you are out of the states you are.

Since: Oct 07

Syosset, NY

#7 Jan 15, 2008
BOSSY wrote:
<quoted text>OMG I am so soryy to hear what you are going through. do not even think of killing that man. Go to the police. Talk to whoever you can and let them know you are afraid for your life. I dont want to see anything happen to you. Are your parents aware of whats going on?? Im scared for you girl, go get the help you need. I will look more into this and see if I can get you better advice.
Yes they are aware and I'm really scared for them. My dad of course is not scared. But I don't want him to go out there and have any interaction with someone who is not well. Thanx Bossy look into it if you can. I really appreciate that.

Since: Oct 07

Syosset, NY

#8 Jan 15, 2008
Morrison73 wrote:
dammm..what happened to cousins, uncles..etc.????
How come the men in yo family ain't stomped his azz yet?????
I left that out, yes my dad and uncles jumped him in 2006 and left the scene and he still keeps coming back.He was beaten with bats and everything (I'm not lying) and he keeps coming back.

Since: Oct 07

Syosset, NY

#9 Jan 15, 2008
GirlPower wrote:
<quoted text>I would say keep a gun with you at all times. You have that he has been stalking you on record. You have a right to protect urself
I was thinking the same thing. I'm scared i dont want to go to jail but its either kill or be killed. It's putting a tole on me right now. The justice system sucks.

Since: Oct 07

Syosset, NY

#10 Jan 15, 2008
Miss Sha wrote:
I ma sorry you are dealing with this.
You have every right to protect yourself, however when using physical and possibly lethal force, there are strict laws as to it's application.
Educate yourself on your rights and the laws regarding lethal force.
If you are going to have a gun, make sure you are legal and take both gun laws, gun safety, and target classes.
Take a self defense/personal safety class.
Buy a personal Tazor and some mace/pepper spray.
Educate yourself on the mindset of a stalker, you can find plenty of information on the web. Research several different sources.
All you can do is empower yourself by educating yourself by researching relevant info, taking safety classes, arming yourself with legal weapons you can use correctly, and using your public resources (police, courts, restraining orders, etc).
I have been there, it ain't fun, I know. Hang in there sweety!
Thankyou Miss Sha, I have been doing my research all day. I didn't go to work yesterday and I really don't know what to say. I hate to sit here and keep stressing but it's hard to deal with especially because I don't want my parents to have to suffer. I will blame myself forever. But I will be going to some self defense classes because he has no idea what is coming to him. I can't live life in fear, its not healthy for the mind or the body. I can't understand people like this. Move on with your life.

Since: Oct 07

Syosset, NY

#11 Jan 15, 2008
cool_black_stallion wrote:
<quoted text>
I am sorry about what you have been through. My only advice to you is
1. Go to the Police and let them know about the situation and make sure you get the protection from them
2. If you could afford to move out of the states, it would be better for you to do. There are about 50 states, choose the one you think you might like. But don't ignore the protection from Police.
3. You might need to be anonymous on the internet so that he does not track you once you are out of the states you are.
Thankyou, I was trying to get my dad to sell his home he told me that he refuses to let someone drive him out of his home. I won't leave the states without them, and plus my parents feel they invested so much here to just pick up and leave. Smh I wish it were that easy.

“"Ridding the world of dummies"”

Since: Jan 08

"The District"

#12 Jan 15, 2008
everybody got a Pookie or June Bug in the family that's a little bit crazy...call 'em up...no bats this time (if you know what i mean)

“My life my Jesus”

Since: Nov 07

Highland

#13 Jan 15, 2008
I wouldn't I don't do jail. Plus the technology they have nowadays will make it really hard to get away with. HOWEVER it is possible. I say don't tell nobody, dont act different, throw them in the river naked use gloves and move!...You didn't hear that from me ;)

Level 1

Since: Apr 07

Sterling Heights, MI

#15 Jan 15, 2008
MissBossy07 wrote:
<quoted text>
Thankyou Miss Sha, I have been doing my research all day. I didn't go to work yesterday and I really don't know what to say. I hate to sit here and keep stressing but it's hard to deal with especially because I don't want my parents to have to suffer. I will blame myself forever. But I will be going to some self defense classes because he has no idea what is coming to him. I can't live life in fear, its not healthy for the mind or the body. I can't understand people like this. Move on with your life.
Good for you being proactive vs reactive!

Let your family be there for you and support you. That is part of being a family. There is strength in numbers and there is no need for you carry this burden alone.

It is NOT your fault. You need to KNOW this. This is an issue inside of HIM, not you.

Educating yourself on a stalker's mindset will help you understand how he is "ticking" inside, what he is thinking, how he interprets things, which will help you deal with him. Google terms like "profile of a stalker, psychology of a stalker, stalker mentality and/or mindset".

Since: Oct 07

Syosset, NY

#16 Jan 15, 2008
Hijacked Journalism wrote:
everybody got a Pookie or June Bug in the family that's a little bit crazy...call 'em up...no bats this time (if you know what i mean)
Yea I have those in my family but guess what, he has no family because his mom died back in 2005, he has no phone number or address so I couldn't find him if I wanted to. Its more of a waiting process. We never know when he's coming around. So our guards always have to be up. He's incarcerated now so the detective will give me a heads up when he's being released so I can be on the lookout, whenever they contact me.

“Learn to love yourself first!!”

Since: Oct 07

Georgia Peach

#17 Jan 15, 2008
MissBossy07 wrote:
<quoted text>
I was thinking the same thing. I'm scared i dont want to go to jail but its either kill or be killed. It's putting a tole on me right now. The justice system sucks.
Dont count of the police to protect you. You do what you do. I dont want to hear about you on the news. You may not go to jail if its on record. Mary Winkler killed her husband and ran off with her kids and she only got 210 days.
Skeptic

United States

#18 Jan 15, 2008
Please read the book,'The gift of Fear' by Gavin DeBecker, an expert on threat management, and deals with this exact scenario. You need to arm yourself
with skills he outlines in the book that have been used, and proven successful.
MissBossy07 wrote:
<quoted text>
Thankyou, I was trying to get my dad to sell his home he told me that he refuses to let someone drive him out of his home. I won't leave the states without them, and plus my parents feel they invested so much here to just pick up and leave. Smh I wish it were that easy.

“glorified work permit”

Level 1

Since: Jul 07

Toronto

#19 Jan 15, 2008
Morrison73 wrote:
dammm..what happened to cousins, uncles..etc.????
How come the men in yo family ain't stomped his azz yet?????
ditto...

A good azzwhoppin goes a long way.
Skeptic

United States

#20 Jan 15, 2008
https://www.gavindebecker.com/books-gof.cfm

Here is his website, I would have every woman read this book, it could save a life.

“glorified work permit”

Level 1

Since: Jul 07

Toronto

#21 Jan 15, 2008
Missbossy,

That may have been possible....but not after posting it on TOPIX!!

now it's premeditated.

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