Federal Judge: Enough With the Stupid...

Federal Judge: Enough With the Stupid Names!

Posted in the African-American Forum

First Prev
of 2
Next Last
CurlyQ

New Rochelle, NY

#1 Mar 25, 2008
After Judge Cabrera’s historic ruling, little Clitoria Jackson will likely undergo a name change.

(DETROIT) In a decision that’s expected to send shockwaves through the African-American community—and yet, give much relief to teachers everywhere—a federal judge ruled today that black women no longer have independent naming rights for their children. Too many black children—and many adults—bear names that border on not even being words, he said.

“I am simply tired of these ridiculous names black women are giving their children,” said U.S. Federal Judge Ryan Cabrera before rendering his decision.“Someone had to put a stop to it.”

The rule applies to all black women, but Cabrera singled out impoverished mothers.

“They are the worst perpetrators,” he said.“They put in apostrophes where none are needed. They think a ‘Q’ is a must. There was a time when Shaniqua and Tawanda were names you dreaded. Now, if you’re a black girl, you hope you get a name as sensible as one of those.”

Few stepped forward to defend black women—and black women themselves seemed relieved.

“It’s so hard to keep coming up with something unique,” said Uneeqqi Jenkins, 22, an African-American mother of seven who survives on public assistance. Her children are named Daryl, Q’Antity, Uhlleejsha, Cray-Ig, Fellisittee, Tay’Sh’awn and Day’Shawndra.

Beginning in one week, at least three white people must agree with the name before a black mother can name her child.

“Hopefully we can see a lot more black children with sensible names like Jake and Connor,” Cabrera said.

His ruling stemmed from a lawsuit brought by a 13-year-old girl whose mother created her name using Incan hieroglyphics.

“She said it would make me stand out,” said the girl, whose name can’t be reproduced by The Peoples News’ technology.“But it’s really just stupid.”

The National Association of Elementary School Teachers celebrated Cabrera’s decision.

“Oh my God, the first day of school you’d be standing there sweating, looking at the list of names wondering ‘How do I pronounce Q’J’Q’Sha.’?” said Joyce Harmon, NAEST spokeswoman.“Is this even English?”

The practice of giving black children outlandish names began in the 1960s, when blacks were getting in touch with their African roots, said historian Corlione Vest. But even he admits it got out of hand.

“I have a niece who’s six. I’m embarrassed to say I can’t even pronounce her name,” said Vest, a professor at Princeton University.“Whenever I want to talk to her, I just wait until she looks at me and then I wave her over.”

Cabrera’s ruling exempted black men because so few of them are actually involved in their children’s lives.

Note: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think.

http://thepeoplesnews.wordpress.com/2008/03/0...
T- Welch

Chicago, IL

#2 Mar 27, 2008
How is this legally and morally possible to single out a race of people?
GSF

United States

#3 Mar 28, 2008
T- Welch wrote:
How is this legally and morally possible to single out a race of people?
This is a satirical piece...nothing more.
Aryan

AOL

#4 Mar 28, 2008
T- Welch wrote:
How is this legally and morally possible to single out a race of people?
Are you silly? Bahahahahaha
Manisha

Cleveland, OH

#5 Mar 28, 2008
I think it is outrageous for a Judge to put any type of ban on African American sounding names. It is completely uncostitutional. Names have been a sensitive issue in the Black community for quite some time. The issue is particularly sensitive for me because my name, Manisha, is Middle Eastern/ Indian and people always have difficulty pronouncing my name. The part that bothers me most when the issue is brought up is the fact that African American names are always singled out. No one would ever dare criticize a Hispanic or Asian people for naming their children names that are traditional within their culture or that may be difficult to read or pronounce. Furthermore, when Caucasions name their babies Apple, Cocoa, Rumour etc. noone calls them ghetto. But Sha'Quanna is ghetto? It is digusting that Black people are too stupid to see that the problem is not so much with the names as it is with the ignorance, discrimination and intolerance amoung others.

spikewebbe

Since: Oct 07

Boston, MA

#6 Mar 28, 2008
Let people name their kids anything they want; most people end up with nick names anyway like Shorty, Pee Wee, Peanut, Stupid, ect. Let the government stay out of people's business.

“Cake in hand cake n mouth what”

Since: Feb 08

Big D

#7 Mar 28, 2008
[email protected] Jackson

sounds like Petoria// family guy refrence.

oh geeeezzzz

“Cake in hand cake n mouth what”

Since: Feb 08

Big D

#8 Mar 28, 2008
you literally had me in stitches reading this article

“You are your worse enemy”

Since: Mar 08

Baltimore, Maryland

#9 Mar 28, 2008
Its good to see that people are mad about this but who is going to fight it? Who is going protest? Whose going to march on capital hill? Who is going to petition against it? We have invite the government into our house and schools already. If you don't like what they are doing now. Then you should have stopped them before this. Go knows whats coming next.
Cass

Lake Jackson, TX

#10 Mar 29, 2008
This was hilarious! At first I thought it as real, until I got to the name Corlione Vest. Then it started to unravel. But to tell the truth, it really tracked until then. I am all in favor of giving a child a name with historical context or spiritual meaning.. in fact, next Sunday I will attend an Africentric naming ceremony when a child wil be given an African name with a definite history, meaning, and purpose.
But, seriously, some names just don't need to hound a child through life...
Cass

Lake Jackson, TX

#11 Mar 29, 2008
I am from Nashville, not Jacksonville!
TOP FLIGHT

Miami, FL

#12 Mar 30, 2008
In addition to an informative and thought provoking satirical piece, some of the replies are just hysterical, notwithstanding that they point out the fact of a dearth of reading comprehension.
Only me

Ajax, Canada

#13 Apr 20, 2008
QUOTE who="Manisha"I think it is outrageous for a Judge to put any type of ban on African American sounding names. It is completely uncostitutional. Names have been a sensitive issue in the Black community for quite some time. The issue is particularly sensitive for me because my name, Manisha, is Middle Eastern/ Indian and people always have difficulty pronouncing my name. The part that bothers me most when the issue is brought up is the fact that African American names are always singled out. No one would ever dare criticize a Hispanic or Asian people for naming their children names that are traditional within their culture or that may be difficult to read or pronounce. Furthermore, when Caucasions name their babies Apple, Cocoa, Rumour etc. noone calls them ghetto. But Sha'Quanna is ghetto? It is digusting that Black people are too stupid to see that the problem is not so much with the names as it is with the ignorance, discrimination and intolerance amoung others. I totally agree with you. You couldn't have word it more better than that. The Asians are never singled out with names like Huo, Xie, Phuoang etc. It took me years to finally pronounce Ngo. I think what the problem is is that the "Black, ghetto names" are not really choosen because of their meaning, but more for something different and unique. We all know that some Black people have something to prove and are alwasys proving it in the wrong way.....expensive rims, cheap car, huge rings and chains and no decent pants on, hair did and no food in the fridge etc. But to allow a "White or even Black judge the liberty to name your child is going to far. The law they need to passs is manitory parenting classes for some of these parents to everyone, just like you need one to drive a car, hairdressing, and even hunt. If you need a license to kill (hunt), you should get some trining on raising a child, a human, the future.
Only me

Ajax, Canada

#14 Apr 20, 2008
I totally agree with you. You couldn't have word it more better than that. The Asians are never singled out with names like Huo, Xie, Phuoang etc. It took me years to finally pronounce Ngo. I think what the problem is is that the "Black, ghetto names" are not really choosen because of their meaning, but more for something different and unique. We all know that some Black people have something to prove and are alwasys proving it in the wrong way.....expensive rims, cheap car, huge rings and chains and no decent pants on, hair did and no food in the fridge etc. But to allow a "White or even Black judge the liberty to name your child is going to far. The law they need to passs is manitory parenting classes for some of these parents to everyone, just like you need one to drive a car, hairdressing, and even hunt. If you need a license to kill (hunt), you should get some trining on raising a child, a human, the future.]
323hellohi

Greenwell Springs, LA

#15 Apr 20, 2008
Manisha wrote:
I think it is outrageous for a Judge to put any type of ban on African American sounding names. It is completely uncostitutional. Names have been a sensitive issue in the Black community for quite some time. The issue is particularly sensitive for me because my name, Manisha, is Middle Eastern/ Indian and people always have difficulty pronouncing my name. The part that bothers me most when the issue is brought up is the fact that African American names are always singled out. No one would ever dare criticize a Hispanic or Asian people for naming their children names that are traditional within their culture or that may be difficult to read or pronounce. Furthermore, when Caucasions name their babies Apple, Cocoa, Rumour etc. noone calls them ghetto. But Sha'Quanna is ghetto? It is digusting that Black people are too stupid to see that the problem is not so much with the names as it is with the ignorance, discrimination and intolerance amoung others.
I don't why, but females named Kisha always seem to be ghetto.
Rockes

Flint, MI

#16 Apr 22, 2008
The judge was stepping over his bounds. I don't agree with some of the outlandish names that are given. I believe we live in Amereica and not in China. He was demoralizing black women and not all black men are absent in their children lives.

“You are your worse enemy”

Since: Mar 08

Baltimore, Maryland

#17 Apr 22, 2008
In all honesty as outlandish as this is. Real or fake it is a growing problem. It seems that government is telling us how to live. Yet if we don't pay taxes they don't eat. Shouldn't it be the other way around. We say we want and they say yes. Hmmmmmmmmm. This judge wouldn't have did this if we hadn't let other things slip into our homes.
mr Giblets

UK

#18 Apr 22, 2008
T- Welch wrote:
How is this legally and morally possible to single out a race of people?
because they are so stupid!
mr Giblets

UK

#19 Apr 22, 2008
howard crews wrote:
Its good to see that people are mad about this but who is going to fight it? Who is going protest? Whose going to march on capital hill? Who is going to petition against it? We have invite the government into our house and schools already. If you don't like what they are doing now. Then you should have stopped them before this. Go knows whats coming next.
you silly ignorant jig, READ the whole article . It was a JOKE. beyond you, obviously. Now you know why whites think you are dumb.

“aswad rajul min amerika”

Since: Dec 07

Location hidden

#20 Apr 22, 2008
i know that the story was fake but it as truth in it.
Back in the day when people gave their kids muslim or African names it was okay.
But when ghetto people started making up crazy sounding names with no meaning things got out of hand.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

African-American Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Why are WW leaving WM for us Kings? 16 min colored 5
News Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 37 min EditorAtLarge 1,659,407
I need proof that the Ancient Egyptians Were No... (Oct '07) 57 min abc 36,713
45 Greatest Hits 1 hr Cant Escape DESTINY 49
the moors were black africans not arabs!!! (Jun '08) 1 hr Cant Escape DESTINY 51,761
Sound clip of sexy black tranny begging for whi... 1 hr Jax 5
Law & Order: SCU 2 hr Cant Escape DESTINY 126
"Jews will not replace us!" 2 hr Cant Escape DESTINY 106
Is this KIP? 2 hr Cant Escape DESTINY 68
After the Nogs built the "Gypshun" dynasty they... 5 hr Harrisson 102
Pervert Alabama Republican Roy Moore 5 hr Jake 154
More from around the web