To the black women who prefer white men!

To the black women who prefer white men!

Posted in the African-American Forum

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Confused Black Woman

AOL

#1 Jan 24, 2007
Why?
Please dont post the incarceration rates for blk men,the thug image, there's no good black men bullshit!DONT JUSTIFY DATING WHITE MEN BY BASHING BLACK MEN!

I'm 20, a college student, and see nothing but attractive,intelligent,working black men.
Confused Black Woman

AOL

#2 Jan 24, 2007
Dont post: you're color blind,white men are more attractive, and race doesn't matter because if u date white men exclusively then u obviously see color,find whites more attractive,and only seek men by race.

EXPLAIN BLACK WOMEN PLZ!

“It is what it is!”

Level 1

Since: Jan 07

Location hidden

#3 Jan 25, 2007
People can date/marry whoever they want. I'm married to a black man but I don't see a problem with people that date outside their race, as long as they don't bash their own race.
Ashley

Denver, CO

#4 Jan 25, 2007
Confused Black Woman wrote:
Dont post: you're color blind,white men are more attractive, and race doesn't matter because if u date white men exclusively then u obviously see color,find whites more attractive,and only seek men by race.
EXPLAIN BLACK WOMEN PLZ!
Here's one of those women you are talking of and I believe you wanted an explanation, well here it goes.....I bash ANYONE who bashes me first. I've been bashed for simply stating my honest opinions about why I prefer Caucasian men over AA men and some people assumed that I hate them. I guess it was because of WHAT I stated and I agree, it was pretty harsh to some, but I'm a realist not a cookie cutter. I simply don't find AA men attractive in the mental and emotional sense. I am sure there are some out there who are just Don Juans and all, but not many for me to compliment on. I exclusively date Caucasian (preferrably European born) men because I feel that most of them share the same values and goals as I do. I've dated AA guys before and thought they were cool and all, but why date someone you're not willing to marry? I believe in that concept and it has worked for me through the years I guess. Now everyone has their reasons for dating preferences and it is slightly of contrast to what some other AA women have been saying. I've been this way ever since I was younger like in kindergarten. This is just the way the cookie crumbled for me and I'm not complaining that's for sure. Even for AA men who prefer dating outside of THEIR race...I don't see any problems with that at all (and vice versa). It is not my duty to keep the race together so I'm going to find happiness in where ever I can find it, even if I have to cross over the rainbow to find it lol.
ValerieNM

Austin, TX

#5 Jan 25, 2007
Confused Black Woman wrote:
Why?
Please dont post the incarceration rates for blk men,the thug image, there's no good black men bullshit!DONT JUSTIFY DATING WHITE MEN BY BASHING BLACK MEN!
I'm 20, a college student, and see nothing but attractive,intelligent,working black men.
If you are only 20 you are and will be someone to reckon with I loved your post in whites understand the advantage...not just what you said but how you stated it...you are an awesome young women..you remind me of another awesome individual who once posted her by the name of SEA...I wish the two of you had been on at the same time it would have been great symmetry like two great pieces of music coming together

“The One You Love To Hate”

Level 1

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#6 Jan 25, 2007
Confused Black Woman wrote:
Why?
Please dont post the incarceration rates for blk men,the thug image, there's no good black men bullshit!DONT JUSTIFY DATING WHITE MEN BY BASHING BLACK MEN!
I'm 20, a college student, and see nothing but attractive,intelligent,working black men.
These must be college students. Leave that protected college world and you'll see what most women see. The pool by which older women pick from is much smaller than the pool you're picking from.
Confused Black Woman

AOL

#7 Jan 26, 2007
my point: Date whoever, just dont do it solely because there's a "shortage of blk men",but because u love the guy or person who u are with. Seriously, blaming blk men for ur lust for white guys is ridiculous. U can simply be attracted to white men more and have more in common with them(plz let that be the main reasons),instead of "it's not like there are a lot of good blk men to pull from",be serious,dont blame black guys for a damn thing.

I'M TIRED OF THE BASHING FROM BOTH SIDES.
FOCAT

United States

#8 Jan 26, 2007
Confused Black Woman wrote:
my point: Date whoever, just dont do it solely because there's a "shortage of blk men",but because u love the guy or person who u are with. Seriously, blaming blk men for ur lust for white guys is ridiculous. U can simply be attracted to white men more and have more in common with them(plz let that be the main reasons),instead of "it's not like there are a lot of good blk men to pull from",be serious,dont blame black guys for a damn thing.
I'M TIRED OF THE BASHING FROM BOTH SIDES.
Again aside from the descriptive language (I guess you must feel very strongly about this)- I concur.

Level 1

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#9 Jan 26, 2007
Confused Black Woman wrote:
my point: Date whoever, just dont do it solely because there's a "shortage of blk men",but because u love the guy or person who u are with. Seriously, blaming blk men for ur lust for white guys is ridiculous. U can simply be attracted to white men more and have more in common with them(plz let that be the main reasons),instead of "it's not like there are a lot of good blk men to pull from",be serious,dont blame black guys for a damn thing.
I'M TIRED OF THE BASHING FROM BOTH SIDES.
I agree with you 100% all this bashing I'd just ridiculous.
Sometimes I think us AA as a race are cursed.
Look at us putting down each other to justify our choices in dating outside the race.
For many years we were told by ignorant racist white people we were nothing and had no right to be somebody and do what we want to better ourselves. Our ancestors and past family members had to fight against that and now that were starting to break ground what do some of us? Turn on each other. You have some AA women putting down black men saying their no good, don't work, lazy, sperm donors, crooks etcs and then you have some AA men saying black women are baby making machines, loose, classless, angry, gold diggers, nags etc.
You say all that because some of the wrong choices in the opposite sex that you made in your race.
EVERY RACE HAS ITS TRASH, REMEMBER THAT
The racist white people don't have to put us down anymore, some of you guys are doing it for them. Its almost a bit like slave mentality, where some people thought that the way forward and to get ahead was to follow the white man and forget your own. Praise the white man and trash their their own.
I'm all for finding love where ever you can get it, and whatever race that person is doesn't matter, BUT don't s**t on your own door step to prove your point.
I know all of what I've said doesn't apply to everyone, but to the ones thatv know it applies to them, fix up.
FOCAT

United States

#10 Jan 26, 2007
ccheeksd wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree with you 100% all this bashing I'd just ridiculous.
Sometimes I think us AA as a race are cursed.
Look at us putting down each other to justify our choices in dating outside the race.
For many years we were told by ignorant racist white people we were nothing and had no right to be somebody and do what we want to better ourselves. Our ancestors and past family members had to fight against that and now that were starting to break ground what do some of us? Turn on each other. You have some AA women putting down black men saying their no good, don't work, lazy, sperm donors, crooks etcs and then you have some AA men saying black women are baby making machines, loose, classless, angry, gold diggers, nags etc.
You say all that because some of the wrong choices in the opposite sex that you made in your race.
EVERY RACE HAS ITS TRASH, REMEMBER THAT
The racist white people don't have to put us down anymore, some of you guys are doing it for them. Its almost a bit like slave mentality, where some people thought that the way forward and to get ahead was to follow the white man and forget your own. Praise the white man and trash their their own.
I'm all for finding love where ever you can get it, and whatever race that person is doesn't matter, BUT don't s**t on your own door step to prove your point.
I know all of what I've said doesn't apply to everyone, but to the ones thatv know it applies to them, fix up.
Unno see it.
michelle

Pompano Beach, FL

#11 Jan 26, 2007
I realize that this is talking about aa men, but I think the one thing that everyone is missing is that we (whether white, black,or other races) look at a person too much on the outside for what he/she can give us, and don't bother looking what kind of qualities are in a person on the inside. If we love our neighbors as ourselves, as God would have us do,(which, I realize it's VERY hard!), in my personal opinion, we'd get along with one another a whole lot better. I'm married to a Africian-American man who doesn't have a lot of material wealth, but who has a lot of wisdom, is a strong born-again believer, and doesn't hit women, which to me, is worth more than anything. Start looking on the inside, not on the outside!
FOCAT

United States

#13 Jan 26, 2007
michelle wrote:
I realize that this is talking about aa men, but I think the one thing that everyone is missing is that we (whether white, black,or other races) look at a person too much on the outside for what he/she can give us, and don't bother looking what kind of qualities are in a person on the inside. If we love our neighbors as ourselves, as God would have us do,(which, I realize it's VERY hard!), in my personal opinion, we'd get along with one another a whole lot better. I'm married to a Africian-American man who doesn't have a lot of material wealth, but who has a lot of wisdom, is a strong born-again believer, and doesn't hit women, which to me, is worth more than anything. Start looking on the inside, not on the outside!
A good word.
rose2rose

Cambridge, Canada

#14 Jan 26, 2007
Well! all i have to say in regards to this is that the black communities every were needs to wake up. Its hard enough having to deal with the racisim we face from the other raceses, but to also have your own black people against you is very disgraseful and a big shame on us as black people. Everyone is trying to invest in other communities except for the black community which in my eyes need's the most attention. The way were acting towards each other makes it very hard to believe that we can come together, i am so concern for the future of the black race, and sadley enough... its the blcak race who will be responsible for destroying the black race talking about self-distruction.

Level 1

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#15 Jan 26, 2007
guest wrote:
Well! all i have to say in regards to this is that the black communities every were needs to wake up. Its hard enough having to deal with the racisim we face from the other raceses, but to also have your own black people against you is very disgraseful and a big shame on us as black people. Everyone is trying to invest in other communities except for the black community which in my eyes need's the most attention. The way were acting towards each other makes it very hard to believe that we can come together, i am so concern for the future of the black race, and sadley enough... its the blcak race who will be responsible for destroying the black race talking about self-distruction.
I hear that.

“~Sassy~ ”

Since: Dec 06

Sunny Southern California

#16 Jan 26, 2007
I think that sometimes people who exclusively date outside their race, IF they bash their own race (opposite sex) they obviously have some issues that have come out of their past. Whether it is their parents (abandoned parent or cheating parent perhaps) or ex gf/bf who has hurt them deep. Its easier to slam the group as a whole, because perhaps the real root cause as to why they do not date in their race may be too painful for themselves to face.

That's my guess.

As for the color blind theory that was expressed not to use. Oh well, too bad. Some of us were raised not to think in terms of color or race. In my case I wasn't. Now while I could date any race, because I have no prejudice against anyone, I just happen to prefer black men.
earthproximacent auri

AOL

#17 Jan 26, 2007
SassyJ wrote:
I think that sometimes people who exclusively date outside their race, IF they bash their own race (opposite sex) they obviously have some issues that have come out of their past. Whether it is their parents (abandoned parent or cheating parent perhaps) or ex gf/bf who has hurt them deep. Its easier to slam the group as a whole, because perhaps the real root cause as to why they do not date in their race may be too painful for themselves to face.
That's my guess.
it's not a guess you're right - i call it the 'sour-grape syndrome'.
earthproximacent auri

AOL

#18 Jan 26, 2007
....or 'sour-grape complex'.
talia Rhode island

Providence, RI

#19 Jan 26, 2007
Ashley sounds like Myself. from a child I found myself attracted to white boys. The reality is in many cases you date within your social an economic class. I, as a black women was raised in mostly white neighborhoods. I come from an upper class AA Family and attended private schools all my life. I have always been around white people and in many cases been the only black person. The men that were available for me to date were white. I have traveled the world now, own my own home and drive a nice car and I am at that point that I need someone on my level. I date whitemen that are well travled and educated because that is what I am attracted to and what works for me.
Get real

Providence, RI

#20 Jan 26, 2007
I am black a pre med student.Do you know how many black men are in my classes with me. ZERO.... So the reality is that black women with educations find themselves at a loss for men that share their education level. The reality is the ratio of educated black women to educated males is high. That is why women date outside there race
FOCAT

United States

#21 Jan 26, 2007
talia Rhode island wrote:
Ashley sounds like Myself. from a child I found myself attracted to white boys. The reality is in many cases you date within your social an economic class. I, as a black women was raised in mostly white neighborhoods. I come from an upper class AA Family and attended private schools all my life. I have always been around white people and in many cases been the only black person. The men that were available for me to date were white. I have traveled the world now, own my own home and drive a nice car and I am at that point that I need someone on my level. I date whitemen that are well travled and educated because that is what I am attracted to and what works for me.
Don't mistake how you are socialized/raised with someone being on your level. There are some well traveled, educated, well-paid brothers out there. I can't fault you for your choice, but the [slight] condescending tone of your post makes me think that you're a part of the Mo'Tea Sah tribe and you are not even aware.

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