Why don't black americans and african...

“Yes WE Can! Yes we Will!”

Level 8

Since: Jul 07

Baltimore, Md.

#1011 Apr 11, 2014
Now I need to get back to that post from Lisa to which I've not completed my reply. Let me look at her post again.
KIP

San Francisco, CA

#1012 Apr 11, 2014
My sister's first marriage was to an African.

However, the main reason they don't usually date and marry is because Africans are in Africa and American are in America. They're not as exposed.

“Yes WE Can! Yes we Will!”

Level 8

Since: Jul 07

Baltimore, Md.

#1013 Apr 11, 2014
KIP wrote:
My sister's first marriage was to an African.
However, the main reason they don't usually date and marry is because Africans are in Africa and American are in America. They're not as exposed.
LOL! Interesting no one thought of that as at least ONE reason

“Yes WE Can! Yes we Will!”

Level 8

Since: Jul 07

Baltimore, Md.

#1014 Apr 11, 2014
KIP wrote:
My sister's first marriage was to an African.
However, the main reason they don't usually date and marry is because Africans are in Africa and American are in America. They're not as exposed.
With the exception of a Malian (Bambara) woman i dated while in France, every African woman whom I've ever connected with was living in the USA. Often they were fellow students, and later fellow academicians. Or a South African sister like Mercy whom I met here in Bmore during my involvement in the anti-Apartheid solidarity movement.
SOMETHING has to bring people togeher, allowing them to know each other for anything to happen. Guess why MOST AA men (regardless of what Topix or TV tells su) date and marry MOSTLY AA women. Could it have something to do with the fact that MOST of us grow up in AA neighborhoods 9even when middle class), go to AA churches, predominantly AA schools and so forth?

But I need to think a minute and return to Lisa's post

“Yes WE Can! Yes we Will!”

Level 8

Since: Jul 07

Baltimore, Md.

#1015 Apr 11, 2014
KIP wrote:
My sister's first marriage was to an African.
However, the main reason they don't usually date and marry is because Africans are in Africa and American are in America. They're not as exposed.
I've an elder first cousin who married a man from Martinique, and an uncle who married a woman from Ghana. My Aunt Lottie (mother's older sister) was married to a Jamaican.(Her daughter, Addie, married the man from Mozambique--whom she met in college)

Level 4

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#1016 Apr 12, 2014
The ppl that can get along with Africans well are maybe some Caribbeans,
KIP

San Francisco, CA

#1017 Apr 12, 2014
Savant wrote:
<quoted text> I've an elder first cousin who married a man from Martinique, and an uncle who married a woman from Ghana. My Aunt Lottie (mother's older sister) was married to a Jamaican.(Her daughter, Addie, married the man from Mozambique--whom she met in college)
Years ago I dated a Nigerian girl from England who lived in New York. We got along OK, but I live in California, so the long distance thing didn't work for us.

“Do good 4 the good of humanity”

Since: Mar 14

Location hidden

#1018 Apr 12, 2014
KIP wrote:
My sister's first marriage was to an African.
However, the main reason they don't usually date and marry is because Africans are in Africa and American are in America. They're not as exposed.
You stand incorrect KIP. The reason WE usually don't date American Blacks is because of one main reason - culture contrast and clash. We are very well exposed to your culture which differs greatly from ours, not to say that we are so different. Your ancestors come from us so we know you quite well. Africans travel more often than American Blacks do for one. We are exposed to many different cultures which is why we prefer to stick to our own. We've seen enough, in many cases. Long distance don't stop any traveler from hooking up with foreigners. It certainly doesn't stop American Whites from marrying Russian chicks or Asian chicks from afar. Clash of cultures is why Africans and American Blacks don't usually hook up.

“Obsidian Princess”

Level 8

Since: Sep 09

louisiana

#1019 Apr 13, 2014
ive never heard of AA desparate to marry an African...

“Yes WE Can! Yes we Will!”

Level 8

Since: Jul 07

Baltimore, Md.

#1020 Apr 14, 2014
dragonpat wrote:
ive never heard of AA desparate to marry an African...
Tjhe question isn't whether African-Americans are "desperate" to marry Africans, but the reasons why African-Americans and Africans do not marry more often. I suspect that they do marry more often than most people realize, but not in very large numbers.
Also, I hope NOBODY marries out of desperation, whether to Africans, African Americans, whites, Latinos or anyone else.
Jawga Boy

Atlanta, GA

#1021 Apr 14, 2014
Culture,culture, culture!

Culture trumps race and ethnicity..
Level 1

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#1022 Apr 14, 2014
Jawga Boy wrote:
Culture,culture, culture!

Culture trumps race and ethnicity..
Africans marry individuals outside of their culture all of the time.That's not the real reason. I believe it has something to do with social status.

Level 4

Since: May 13

Location hidden

#1023 Apr 14, 2014
realitee wrote:
<quoted text>
Africans marry individuals outside of their culture all of the time.That's not the real reason. I believe it has something to do with social status.
Status for who?

“Do good 4 the good of humanity”

Since: Mar 14

Location hidden

#1024 Apr 15, 2014
realitee wrote:
<quoted text>
Africans marry individuals outside of their culture all of the time.That's not the real reason. I believe it has something to do with social status.
Please don't speak for us. It depends on what part of Africa those people are from. Typically West Africans are more open to dating outside of their cultural group. We, on the other hand, are not so open as most of us do not want to taint our bloodline for starters. Many West Africans depending on the tribe will not date outside of their tribe let alone a foreigner if that foreigner is Black also. I'm sure many want to try it, but in many of our cultures, religion and blood definitely comes above all else. We want our children to look like us, speak our language, and pass down our traditions to them, our legacies. Know what I'm saying?

“Yes WE Can! Yes we Will!”

Level 8

Since: Jul 07

Baltimore, Md.

#1025 Apr 19, 2014
Lisa wrote:
<quoted text> I think a significant barrier to African and American Black relationship formation is in our cultural outlook that extends to our approaches..
For Africans is it's difficult to adapt to the idea of racial identity..whereas being labelled Black has been a primary identification for African Americans....which tends to effect how you see (and treat) people, racism, etc.
For example..it's more than common for African American men to approach (treat) women according to their race (as there seems to be believed different approaches "needed" to secure romantic interest in dealing with women based on RACE <not culture>).... the idea that WW would be scared off by an overly aggressive "Big Bad BM"....tends to make many BM deal with them in a more respectable, kind, loving, gentle way...even when some are "rough around the edges"...then you have many african american men who think all Black women (regardless of culture) like extremely aggressiveness (solely based on stereotypes that ALL BW think gentlemens are weak...prefer thugs and abuse).
Another example: Is our difference in approach to racism..African Americans seem to think this is a social (racial), moral, & civil rights problem (predominantly)..and much of your developed strategies tend to be focus in this direction (hence the strong push of integration and IR with Non-Blacks)... Whereas, Africans see this as an economic and a capitalistic issue..hence why the heavy push for education, strong (for you)" BLACK" & African (for us) families/communities (in which we keep wealth within)...
Not allowing about 95% to flow to white communities (for you..and into the hands of Asians or Arabs for us) and the majority of what remains out of the 5% is enjoyed by the non black communities who setup shop in Black American neighborhoods (or land/Africa)....
The average African woman do not like "casual" approaches from men (hence why many voice concerns with being "harassed" on the streets,etc.).. although it may be common for AAm socilizating technic when trying to secure "love interest"..We are a group of "reserved" females...
We tend to form relationships in an more "intimate" way (as you noted earlier)..
It seems that some of the issues about the different ways in which Africans and African Americans view identity and race are explored somewhat by Sandra S. Smith and Mignon R. Moore in an article called "INTRARACIAL DIVERSITY AND RELATIONS AMONG AFRICAN-AMERICANS: Closeness among Black Students at a Predominantly White University" . I happened upon it online, and it seems to be an online publication of the AMERICAN JOURNAL OF SOCIOLOGY.(in July, 2000). I'm not a sociologist and have not read the entire article as of yet. But it does touch on some of the differences and tensions between Blacks from Africa and American Blacks (especially around pp7--8). Indeed some of the article's description of AA and African attitudes sound almost like quotations of what some have said about each other in this very thread.
Also, the authors seem to discover greater sense of identity among AA people from lower to middle class backgrounds, and less sense of closeness toward Blacks as a whole among those from upper middle to upper class backgrounds. Among those with lower socioeconomic status (SES) feeling of closeness with AA folk in general seems greater. Among those of higher SES the sense of social distance toward other AA folk seems greater.
I've not read the whole article, and don't know if the authors compare the attitudes toward Africans on the part of Blacks of lower SES and higher SES. Also, the focus was on Blacks at certain predominantly white universities. Hence a SELECT group regardless of their class background.(Most AA are not college educated). Hence one must be cautious even here.

“Yes WE Can! Yes we Will!”

Level 8

Since: Jul 07

Baltimore, Md.

#1026 Apr 20, 2014
DUNIA

I also came across an online African publication called DUNIA--which, I believe, is Swahili for "world." Indeed, there was an article published by an African woman querying why one doesn't more often see marriages between African American men and African women. The author claimed that she knew very few herself.(But I think she also knows very few African Americans). Other African women also said that there is a barrier of MUTUAL ignorance between Africans and African Americans, and that people tended to opt for "the devil you know" rather than the one you don't know.
And comments by both Africans and African Americans often either reiterated the stereotypical preconceptions one finds on either side, or perceptively noted that the very misunderstandings are bred by a lack of familiarity. And, if you do not know people, the tendency will be to fall back on misconceptions fed to us by the corporate media and other institutions--institutions dominated by wealthy white plutocrats, racists and imperialists.
I do recall a couple of African American men mentioning in DUNIA that they were married to African women or engaged to an African woman. The AA brother who said that he was engaged to a sister from Ghana, also mentioned a courtship that involved numerous visits to her country---a revealing bit of info. He's obviously not a brother with a minimum wage job if he can travel to Africa very often. How did he meet her? Was she a student here when he met her? Does he have some professional or business connections in West Africa? Of the African Americans whom I know to be married or romantically involved with Africans, they are to a man (or woman) politically and culturally attuned to Africa, and almost always persons of some education and at least modest middle class status.

“Yes WE Can! Yes we Will!”

Level 8

Since: Jul 07

Baltimore, Md.

#1028 Apr 24, 2014
nina wrote:
<quoted text>
Am rarely surronded my school and church is mostly white. The only time I had an encounter with them is when they are trying to cat call women in gas stations and on the streets.
I wonder how many Africans are as thoroughly ensconced in the white American milieu as you? Lack of contact with Black Americans (except with an occasional cat caller in a gas station) is not likely to lead to deeper understanding on either side.
It would be interesting to know the kinds and degrees of contact which Africans in this country tend to have with African-Americans. I imagine it varies.

“Yes WE Can! Yes we Will!”

Level 8

Since: Jul 07

Baltimore, Md.

#1029 Apr 24, 2014
dragonpat wrote:
anyway, the word African was forced on that continent by Europeans and is a European word so if i were to ask someone if i could use that term for identification purposes i would ask a European: not an African.
REgardless of the origin of the word Africa---actually it was a Roman word for only a part of North Africa--African civilizations and cultures were not invented by Europeans, and many are older than the oldest civilizations in Europe.
Nina

Houston, TX

#1030 May 13, 2014
[QUOTE ho="KIP"]My sister's first marriage was to an African.
However, the main reason they don't usually date and marry is because Africans are in Africa and American are in America. They're not as exposed.[/QUOTE]
Thats not it...because even if some to the US they don't marry aas in large numbers as they do with whites. Their must be something attracting them on average to the white men and than the African American men. So if you want to answer this question ask yourselves the differences between aa and white men. And being that white men on average have better education and careers I would say this is one of the reason. The question should be asked more directly why don't aa and African women don't marry because the reverse is not such a problem but its still uncommon. And to he honest the average African women esp if she is a first generation immigrant has nothing in common the average hood aa men.
Nina

Houston, TX

#1031 May 13, 2014
Savant wrote:
<quoted text> I've reead a little abourt Zanzibar, and ancient land which (I believe) had a revolution during the early 1960s, and eventually became part of a larger union now known as Tanzania. But I seem to reall that Arabs used to trade in African slaves in that region, a scoundrel name Tip being the most notorious trader. I seem to recall seeing a picture of a representative of Zanzibar in a photograph with Malcolm X at some rally in Harlem. But I can't remember his name. Maybe "Baba" or Babu.
Wasn't the revolution in Zanzibar against an exploitative Arab ruling clique? Itis also my understanding that this part of Africa not only had contact with Arabs since ancient times, but also India, Persia, China and even occasionally the Greeks.
Ancient societies had not yet created our notions of race, and hence I guess they had no reason to be concerned about "interracial" marriages.
Yeah but it was not as bad as the slavery in west Africa. Most of the slaves went to Asia and some to Europe. At least you know some history about African which I doubt many aas do. May be race might not have been an issue at that point but my point was we don't have a hard time attracting other men unlike African American women.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

African-American Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 5 min copout 1,520,289
Greatest black man of all time- Tupac or 50cent? (Apr '10) 20 min black pride 3
'Happy Days' actress Erin Moran DEAD 22 min black pride 1
How Black Men MGTOW is destroying Black manhood 1 hr SadButTrue 1
why is trump still bagging on obama? 1 hr SadButTrue 2
Is Feminism a Cancer? (Oct '16) 1 hr MEN GOING THEIR O... 318
Why do black people call white people racists when (Apr '13) 1 hr Xtasty 87
IRBW And Their Fantasies. 1 hr Mick 466
3 Weeks on Topix AA has proven to me Blacks are... 5 hr The Power Of Mast... 78
Do Blacks See It As An Upgrade To Date Whites? 6 hr Ttt 102
White peoples obsession with the original people! 6 hr coretta 44
Why do bm give ww a pass on racism? 6 hr IT IS I 191
More from around the web