You are PRETTY for a Black girl...What tha?!?!?

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“Yeah, I'm A Guy”

Level 1

Since: Sep 08

So What?

#1 Jan 1, 2009
I usually don't do threads but this has been bothering me for a while.

(Sigh)

Let me just say that I am SICK and TIRED of hearing this PATHETIC comment: "You are SO pretty for a Black girl". How is that supposed to be a compliment? I feel that its more disrespectful than anything else. When people say that (Its mostly White people) I feel as if they are saying pretty or beautiful Black women rarely if ever do exist. I see pretty Black women all the time.

Why can't someone just tell me that I am "pretty" and leave it a that...why add "for a Black girl". Here's another comment: "You have nice hair for a Black woman"!!! What tha?!?!
*rolls eyes*

I am not a racist person at all and anytime I give a compliment I never add color into it. I say it and be done with. I don't say "You are pretty for a Puerto Rican girl, Asian girl, White girl and etc". What do any of you have to say about this? Its not only weird but also annoying.

Ready, get set, REPLY...

:oP

“Dreams are the touchstones of ”

Since: Feb 07

Our characters

#3 Jan 1, 2009
I wouldn't even take that as a compliment, that sounds like an insult really. That's like saying you throw good for a girl. It's demeaning...IMO.
BrownSuga

Port Saint Lucie, FL

#4 Jan 1, 2009
dannng lil nita, how you been? I haven't talked to you since last year. mannn
Authentic

Sneek, Netherlands

#6 Jan 1, 2009
Lilnita, it's not a compliment it's an insult straight in the face. Next time don't worry bout why they can't just leave it at just pretty. Worry about how you gon set them str8 and put them right back in their place.
-A

“BLACK PERSPECTIVE”

Since: Nov 08

New York, NY

#7 Jan 1, 2009
lilnita wrote:
I usually don't do threads but this has been bothering me for a while.
(Sigh)
Let me just say that I am SICK and TIRED of hearing this PATHETIC comment: "You are SO pretty for a Black girl". How is that supposed to be a compliment? I feel that its more disrespectful than anything else. When people say that (Its mostly White people) I feel as if they are saying pretty or beautiful Black women rarely if ever do exist. I see pretty Black women all the time.
Why can't someone just tell me that I am "pretty" and leave it a that...why add "for a Black girl". Here's another comment: "You have nice hair for a Black woman"!!! What tha?!?!
*rolls eyes*
I am not a racist person at all and anytime I give a compliment I never add color into it. I say it and be done with. I don't say "You are pretty for a Puerto Rican girl, Asian girl, White girl and etc". What do any of you have to say about this? Its not only weird but also annoying.
Ready, get set, REPLY...
:oP
I wish Black people will stop letting white people ruffle their feathers. Just throw back what they give you" And you're not bad looking for a White girl/guy.-the end.

“Yeah, I'm A Guy”

Level 1

Since: Sep 08

So What?

#8 Jan 1, 2009
kaley wrote:
I wouldn't even take that as a compliment, that sounds like an insult really. That's like saying you throw good for a girl. It's demeaning...IMO.
Absolutely Kaley and when I call them out on it all they can say is "Oh, I didn't mean it like that". Well, what did you mean then?!?! They look stuck on STUPID when I ask them that. I too think its an insult.

“Yeah, I'm A Guy”

Level 1

Since: Sep 08

So What?

#9 Jan 1, 2009
BrownSuga wrote:
dannng lil nita, how you been? I haven't talked to you since last year. mannn
LOL BrownSuga :D
I've been doing okay. Girl, I can't wait to go back to Florida seriously. Got any New Year Resolutions?!?

“Yeah, I'm A Guy”

Level 1

Since: Sep 08

So What?

#10 Jan 1, 2009
Authentic wrote:
Lilnita, it's not a compliment it's an insult straight in the face. Next time don't worry bout why they can't just leave it at just pretty. Worry about how you gon set them str8 and put them right back in their place.
-A
Oh absolutely. I call them out on it every time and when I do they have this puzzled DUMB look on their face. I think its just ridiculous...

SMH

Level 8

Since: May 08

Pacific Northwest

#11 Jan 1, 2009
lilnita wrote:
.... What do any of you have to say about this? Its not only weird but also annoying....
Just 'pop your collar' and press on, Lilnita.

It is VERY MUCH a back-handed compliment and a veiled insult. Just ignore 'em and focus on getting to a place (career-wise) where you don't have to be around people like that.

Normally, compliments should be replied to with a "Thank you!" but THAT crap is only worthy of an "Oh really?" with raised eyebrows... before you continue with some other unrelated comments... or keep on walking to get away from the cretin who spoke to you that way.

That's my take on it.

Must be rough in AL if you get lots of those comments. Whew!

Level 8

Since: May 08

Pacific Northwest

#12 Jan 1, 2009
HIPHOUSEONE wrote:
<quoted text>
I wish Black people will stop letting white people ruffle their feathers. Just throw back what they give you" And you're not bad looking for a White girl/guy.-the end.
Yep -- if you want to be that blunt. LOL!

Since: May 07

Fort Washington, MD

#13 Jan 1, 2009
lilnita wrote:
I usually don't do threads but this has been bothering me for a while.
(Sigh)
Let me just say that I am SICK and TIRED of hearing this PATHETIC comment: "You are SO pretty for a Black girl". How is that supposed to be a compliment? I feel that its more disrespectful than anything else. When people say that (Its mostly White people) I feel as if they are saying pretty or beautiful Black women rarely if ever do exist. I see pretty Black women all the time.
Why can't someone just tell me that I am "pretty" and leave it a that...why add "for a Black girl". Here's another comment: "You have nice hair for a Black woman"!!! What tha?!?!
*rolls eyes*
I am not a racist person at all and anytime I give a compliment I never add color into it. I say it and be done with. I don't say "You are pretty for a Puerto Rican girl, Asian girl, White girl and etc". What do any of you have to say about this? Its not only weird but also annoying.
Ready, get set, REPLY...
:oP
Hey sis. I can feel your frustrations about that as I find that very condescending and downright insulting towards you, but why would they ignorantly imply that black women can never be beautiful and are always unattractive. That and those were pretty much dumbass questions that non-blacks asked you about your hair and etc. Either way, at least you could kinda take it as a compliment in terms of the fact that they seem fascinated and intrigued by you as a black woman for them to ask you a dumbass yet offensive question about your beauty and hair, since we blacks are the most coolest and interesting race of people on the planet.LOL!

Level 3

Since: Nov 08

Location hidden

#14 Jan 1, 2009
I WENT TO A BAR AND GOT THE SAME SHIT SHE said IM REALLY HANDSOME FOR BLACK GUY ~~~ 0.o

i didnt know how to respond

“Dreams are the touchstones of ”

Since: Feb 07

Our characters

#15 Jan 1, 2009
lilnita wrote:
<quoted text>
Absolutely Kaley and when I call them out on it all they can say is "Oh, I didn't mean it like that". Well, what did you mean then?!?! They look stuck on STUPID when I ask them that. I too think its an insult.
I remember when I used to play soccer with the boys at recess in elementary school and one day one of the boys said I kicked good for a girl so I kicked the ball right in his face...but you know...on accident.

I'd probably reply with something funny in this scenario...say something like, oh, you look pretty odd for a human or something silly like that. Or I'd just make them feel weird by staring at them for a minute...sometimes silence says a lot.

“Not liked but it's Alright....”

Since: Apr 08

Richmond, VA

#16 Jan 1, 2009
Are you this girl?? to the poster

“Yeah, I'm A Guy”

Level 1

Since: Sep 08

So What?

#17 Jan 1, 2009
HIPHOUSEONE wrote:
<quoted text>
I wish Black people will stop letting white people ruffle their feathers. Just throw back what they give you" And you're not bad looking for a White girl/guy.-the end.
LOL,
I've done that quite a few times to be sarcastic but it just seems like a never ending thing.

“My birthday is February 24th!!”

Since: Sep 08

NYC Babii :D

#18 Jan 1, 2009
I find it really stupid when people say that...they make it sound as if it's something rare to find a beautiful Black woman. The sad thing is that not only non-Black men and women say this, but some Black [dark-skinned!] men say it as well. Dark-skinned and Black women in general are beautiful and only someone ignorant wouldn't think so.

“I'm jus sayin”

Level 1

Since: Oct 07

United States

#19 Jan 1, 2009
HIPHOUSEONE wrote:
<quoted text>
I wish Black people will stop letting white people ruffle their feathers. Just throw back what they give you" And you're not bad looking for a White girl/guy.-the end.
Co-sign. Ppl put too much stock into what they think anyway

“Yeah, I'm A Guy”

Level 1

Since: Sep 08

So What?

#20 Jan 1, 2009
Harrisson wrote:
<quoted text>
Just 'pop your collar' and press on, Lilnita.
It is VERY MUCH a back-handed compliment and a veiled insult. Just ignore 'em and focus on getting to a place (career-wise) where you don't have to be around people like that.
Normally, compliments should be replied to with a "Thank you!" but THAT crap is only worthy of an "Oh really?" with raised eyebrows... before you continue with some other unrelated comments... or keep on walking to get away from the cretin who spoke to you that way.
That's my take on it.
Must be rough in AL if you get lots of those comments. Whew!
You know Harrison I do try not to get upset but it happens too often and its really getting on my nerves. And you are right that its terrible in Alabama. The only reason why I left Florida and came here was for UAB because its a good Medical/Health Related Profession school. In my hometown in Florida I would get those same compliments but its no where near as MANY times as I hear it here in Alabama.

I am so ready to leave Harrison and can't wait until I graduate. Back-handed compliment and insult indeed. As always your advice in on point :)

Level 6

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#21 Jan 1, 2009
lilnita wrote:
I usually don't do threads but this has been bothering me for a while.
(Sigh)
Let me just say that I am SICK and TIRED of hearing this PATHETIC comment: "You are SO pretty for a Black girl". How is that supposed to be a compliment? I feel that its more disrespectful than anything else. When people say that (Its mostly White people) I feel as if they are saying pretty or beautiful Black women rarely if ever do exist. I see pretty Black women all the time.
Why can't someone just tell me that I am "pretty" and leave it a that...why add "for a Black girl". Here's another comment: "You have nice hair for a Black woman"!!! What tha?!?!
*rolls eyes*
I am not a racist person at all and anytime I give a compliment I never add color into it. I say it and be done with. I don't say "You are pretty for a Puerto Rican girl, Asian girl, White girl and etc". What do any of you have to say about this? Its not only weird but also annoying.
Ready, get set, REPLY...
:oP
I agree madam. You are very pretty.

Level 6

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#22 Jan 1, 2009
PHARAOHXI wrote:
I WENT TO A BAR AND GOT THE SAME SHIT SHE said IM REALLY HANDSOME FOR BLACK GUY ~~~ 0.o
i didnt know how to respond
I would have told them to kiss my black backside sire.

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