25 Ways a woman please her man in bed

25 Ways a woman please her man in bed

Posted in the African-American Forum

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“Holdin' it down. ”

Since: Jul 07

Plant City, FL

#1 Sep 17, 2007
1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can’t just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out.

2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partner’s mouth while you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation.

3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don’t, it’s your own fault when he’s snoozing and you’re all wound up.

4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that crap. It makes men pass out. It’s a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it’s not his fault.

5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That crap is uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isn’t unreasonable, but when it’s time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.

6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that’s nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a pronstar all the time. If you’re not willing to do that, don’t expect him to switch for you.

7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the crap that Cosmo forces down our throats, sex is NOT just about us. Get over it.

8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I don’t know who comes up with half that crap, but I’m pretty sure they need counseling.

“Holdin' it down. ”

Since: Jul 07

Plant City, FL

#2 Sep 17, 2007
9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his “one-eyed geelah monster” instead of stroking your hair. Know why he’s pushing, skippy? Because you aren’t doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he’s given you. Pay attention to the signals that he’s sending you.

10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.

11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He’s about to get some “trim”. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.

12. Not shaving your legs. I’m pretty bad at this myself. But if you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.

13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the Amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don’t want to go bare. That’s fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can’t shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that crap if you want him to spend any time down there.

14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. That’s as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.

15. Withholding oral sex just because you’re ragging. He didn’t do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he’s hormonal, I suggest you get some kneepads.

16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you’re having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like “I stubbed my toe”“I ran up the steps” or “I was putting up drywall”.

“Holdin' it down. ”

Since: Jul 07

Plant City, FL

#3 Sep 17, 2007
17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you’re sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it’s just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn’t be having sex anyway. Go back to Jr. High.

18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn’t be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to come, it’s his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy.

19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.

20. Dissing quickies because it’s not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. There’s an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking.

21. Being too much of a scaredy cat to tell him what is or isn’t acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it’s an invitation, don’t look surprised when he “accidentally” sticks his “one-eyed geelah monster” in your butt.

22. Expecting him to undress you. I put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isn’t always easy. Help a brother out.

23. Undressing in the dark. If you’re shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either.

24. Refusing to get on top. There’s no reason men should have to do all the work.

25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn’t suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.

“Maddame Shogun”

Since: Sep 07

Los Angeles

#4 Sep 17, 2007
look just suck his d!ck and give him a sandwich.its not a exact science people.

Since: Sep 07

Bronx, NY

#5 Sep 17, 2007
Hahaha! it's more complicated than that but this was funny.:)

“Sexy Japan Man - Intense Lover”

Since: Aug 07

San Diego, CA

#6 Sep 18, 2007
Tish-the-Scorpion wrote:
look just suck his d!ck and give him a sandwich.its not a exact science people.
Tish- that was hilarious. Can't think, I'm still laughing. However, one needs to put a bit more into it than that.

Nothing like making time for talking, kissing,licking, massaging, etc, etc, etc.
Foreplay can send the body and mind places that's out of this world.

“Always do you! ”

Since: Jul 07

OPELIKA, AL/LAKELAND,FL

#7 Sep 18, 2007
Tish-the-Scorpion wrote:
look just suck his d!ck and give him a sandwich.its not a exact science people.
and a cigarette/black and mild.

“Fabulosity at its BEST”

Since: Aug 07

Washington DC

#8 Sep 18, 2007
OMG THAT LIST IS HILLARIUS!!!!!!! I agree with
Tish-the-Scorpion tho, Give his ass some bomb ass brain...LOL, MAKE SURE YOU SWALLOW LADIES***(it makes him feel really special) and then fix him a sandwich, and hand him a Corona! We are all happy!!!

“Ra'Saan Kadafi Kanati”

Since: Mar 07

CHICAGO,IL

#9 Sep 18, 2007
Tish-the-Scorpion wrote:
look just suck his d!ck and give him a sandwich.its not a exact science people.
H3ll nah! LOL

Since: Jul 07

Central Connecticut

#10 Sep 18, 2007
26) Be willing to be freaky!- What's done between 2 consenting adults is 'their' business!

“Always do you! ”

Since: Jul 07

OPELIKA, AL/LAKELAND,FL

#11 Sep 18, 2007
cinco wrote:
26) Be willing to be freaky!- What's done between 2 consenting adults is 'their'business!
tell my man that~

“Red doesn't exist In my world”

Level 1

Since: Jul 07

D.C.

#12 Sep 18, 2007
Lol good list! Tish and Coco's methods are enough to work for me. I guess the rest is natural to them lol. As for you pussycatt I don't smoke so I'll settle for the after sex snack.

“Sexy Japan Man - Intense Lover”

Since: Aug 07

San Diego, CA

#13 Sep 18, 2007
cinco wrote:
26) Be willing to be freaky!- What's done between 2 consenting adults is 'their' business!
Oh yes, I'm loving it...KEEPING IT FUN AND ALWAYS INTERESTING.

Level 2

Since: Jul 07

Jamaica Queens, New York

#14 Sep 18, 2007
I don't like men that shave down there, it looks weird. It starts to remind of Justin Slayer or some other porno flick man and turns me off a little bit.

Level 2

Since: Jul 07

Jamaica Queens, New York

#15 Sep 18, 2007
I disagree with the magazine comment. I think some magazines have some useful information about sex. I even seen an article that gave information on women taking it in the ass and what they can do to make it more comfortable so i think it can be informative sometimes.

“Red doesn't exist In my world”

Level 1

Since: Jul 07

D.C.

#16 Sep 18, 2007
Conscience Sister wrote:
I don't like men that shave down there, it looks weird. It starts to remind of Justin Slayer or some other porno flick man and turns me off a little bit.
I think he's the most annoying dude in those flicks.

What? I can't watch those?

“Sexy Japan Man - Intense Lover”

Since: Aug 07

San Diego, CA

#17 Sep 18, 2007
19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.
lllove

Covington, VA

#18 Dec 1, 2007
well i think that u should ask him what h likes like i do and he tells me and i tell him.

“You are by what you do!”

Level 1

Since: Apr 07

Seattle, WA

#19 Jan 15, 2008
Sometimes I just want to suck on my woman's titties...that's it!! You know, just to get a lil flavor inside my mouth when there's no gum to chew around!!
lunarwolf

Switzerland

#20 Mar 18, 2008
lone thinker wrote:
<quoted text>
I think he's the most annoying dude in those flicks.
What? I can't watch those?


I agree articles in mags can be a turn

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