Why do women in general prefer Dark S...

“ News”

Level 6

Since: Aug 11

Location hidden

#1433 Sep 10, 2013
blkgoodfella wrote:
<quoted text>
I definitely cosign all this, but it gets more complicating. Yes a lot of classier ones are jumping ship, but there is also those good girls who are still trying to be with the street guys/bum types trying to turn them into good men and all that. Than when they get fed up with all that they want to pursue white men. That seems to be the trend now.
I think this slowly but surely originated from the Whitney - Bobby relationship. Then Martin and Gina took it to the next level, not to mention "The Prince of Belair" in between, portraying Will as been popular with the ladies, and Carl being a snobby turn off. This may be stretching it a little, but some of this could have even been traced back to "Good Times", portraying Michael as the smart one, and JJ as the ladies man. For somebody who struck out as much as JJ, he still always had a date for some reason.

I think the movie, "Waiting To Exhale" also put a dint in the educated black mans image, which portrayed a successful brother as being an arrogant player. It even had brothers criticizing brothers in defense of black women, which is always easy for them to do, and one of the reasons why they will never succeed as a group in this whites man world, until they come out of that. I understand a brother defending good black women, but when they start defending bad ones who don't give two cents about them, then you know we got a lot of black men in bad shape. Anyway, it appears that the image of the successful black man has been gradually marginalized.

As I said, I think this going for the thuggish type was a gradual process, because there was even a time in the 80's when it was popular being a book worm, or talking educated. But I think Martin and Gina put the icing on the cake for classy black women wanting the Martin type, and not going for the college educated type. Then a lot of them took it to the next level and went for his Jerome character.

So the image of the educated black man has been damaged, while the image of non-educated black man like the rappers, thugs, and the knuckled-head type have been uplifted. And a lot of young black women seem to have fallen for it. I guess pretty soon, if a brother don't pronounce "You" like Ya'll, it may be a turn off.

“ News”

Level 6

Since: Aug 11

Location hidden

#1434 Sep 10, 2013
KPITRL wrote:
.
I guess that's part of the reason most of my girl friends been brown or caramel.
I have to revise this and say most of my lady friends were really brown or darker. I'm just now realizing that I ever had a caramel lady friend. Why, I don't know.

“The biggest risk you take”

Level 4

Since: May 13

is not taking one

#1435 Sep 10, 2013
From what I've observed, ladies like GOOD men, in whatever shade they're meant to be.

“ News”

Level 6

Since: Aug 11

Location hidden

#1436 Sep 11, 2013
LearnLiveLove wrote:
From what I've observed, ladies like GOOD men, in whatever shade they're meant to be.
I found this to be true for both sexes. In my experience, very few ladies let me in only because I was light skinned. The few who did solely because of that, something was kind of wrong with them.

One of my worst experiences I had with a girl who choose me because I was light skinned, came one day when we met up in a dinery after we had started dating. My light skinned best friend at the time, who was the type people called a pretty boy in high school, was also there with us. He was there when me and this girlfriend first met at a club, along with her girlfriend. He was that type who already had a thick mustache in high school. I forgot why he was there with us at this dinery, but when he showed up, my girlfriend began rubbing her fingers threw the hair on his wrist, as a way of greeting him. I was shocked, and so was my buddy. What made it so complicating was, she was a very sweet girl living out on the borderline of West Virginia. Maybe she was a little too sweet, too sweet on light skinned men that is...and she couldn't keep her hands off the next one she thought looked a little nicer. That's when it became obvious that my light skinned played too much a factor in pulling her. And it explained to me why we went all the way on the first visit, leaving my sorry buddy and her girlfriend in the house, staring at the wall. But at the same time, my personality did get me in the door. When I think back, the reason my buddy was alone with us at that dinery in the first place was because he had developed a bad personality during this time in our friendship, and my girlfriends' girlfriend who was with her when we first met, wouldn't go out with him. I think she was supposed to had shown up with my girlfriend in that dinery, but backed out. That's the only reason I can imagine or remember why he was there.

So I guess this backs up what you are saying, but every now and then, you find that one who is color struck, and don't handle it too well.

When I think about the fact I never had a caramel girlfriend, the reason seems to be that I was always preoccupied with a brown or darker skinned girl. It's like the caramel skinned girls were stuck in the middle, and we could never make contact. I could connect with the light skinned girl, because I was light skinned myself, and at the same time, the brown skinned and darker skinned girls would get to me before the caramel skinned girls. That's my only explanation. And it would leave the caramel skinned girls disappointed with me. But I tell you I wouldn't have gotten too far at all with any of these girls if it weren't for my personality and my up bringing.

“The biggest risk you take”

Level 4

Since: May 13

is not taking one

#1437 Sep 11, 2013
KPITRL wrote:
<quoted text>
I found this to be true for both sexes. In my experience, very few ladies let me in only because I was light skinned. The few who did solely because of that, something was kind of wrong with them.
One of my worst experiences I had with a girl who choose me because I was light skinned, came one day when we met up in a dinery after we had started dating. My light skinned best friend at the time, who was the type people called a pretty boy in high school, was also there with us. He was there when me and this girlfriend first met at a club, along with her girlfriend. He was that type who already had a thick mustache in high school. I forgot why he was there with us at this dinery, but when he showed up, my girlfriend began rubbing her fingers threw the hair on his wrist, as a way of greeting him. I was shocked, and so was my buddy. What made it so complicating was, she was a very sweet girl living out on the borderline of West Virginia. Maybe she was a little too sweet, too sweet on light skinned men that is...and she couldn't keep her hands off the next one she thought looked a little nicer. That's when it became obvious that my light skinned played too much a factor in pulling her. And it explained to me why we went all the way on the first visit, leaving my sorry buddy and her girlfriend in the house, staring at the wall. But at the same time, my personality did get me in the door. When I think back, the reason my buddy was alone with us at that dinery in the first place was because he had developed a bad personality during this time in our friendship, and my girlfriends' girlfriend who was with her when we first met, wouldn't go out with him. I think she was supposed to had shown up with my girlfriend in that dinery, but backed out. That's the only reason I can imagine or remember why he was there.
So I guess this backs up what you are saying, but every now and then, you find that one who is color struck, and don't handle it too well.
When I think about the fact I never had a caramel girlfriend, the reason seems to be that I was always preoccupied with a brown or darker skinned girl. It's like the caramel skinned girls were stuck in the middle, and we could never make contact. I could connect with the light skinned girl, because I was light skinned myself, and at the same time, the brown skinned and darker skinned girls would get to me before the caramel skinned girls. That's my only explanation. And it would leave the caramel skinned girls disappointed with me. But I tell you I wouldn't have gotten too far at all with any of these girls if it weren't for my personality and my up bringing.
I know we've all had our fair share of good and bad experiences.
We're meant to go through them so we can learn what we want in a relationship and also know what we won't tolerate.

Keep true to your principles and I'm sure you will find an amazing lady when you least expect it. She will like you for YOU and not your skin color :)..

“ News”

Level 6

Since: Aug 11

Location hidden

#1438 Sep 11, 2013
LearnLiveLove wrote:
<quoted text>
I know we've all had our fair share of good and bad experiences.
We're meant to go through them so we can learn what we want in a relationship and also know what we won't tolerate.
Keep true to your principles and I'm sure you will find an amazing lady when you least expect it. She will like you for YOU and not your skin color :)..
I really shared this story because of the skin color thing that sometimes goes on with our people. It's not always the factor, however that's the direction this thread was going in. I didn't mean to sound like all the ladies I dated liked me because of my skin color, although I know it was in this particular case, and it can sometimes mean bad news as well as good news.

Thanks for the wishes, however I'm at that age where it's no big deal to me whether I marry or not. Most people in my age group know exactly where I'm coming from. Anyway, take care :)
what

San Diego, CA

#1439 Sep 12, 2013
LearnLiveLove wrote:
From what I've observed, ladies like GOOD men, in whatever shade they're meant to be.
I think that this is true, for the most part.
what

San Diego, CA

#1440 Sep 12, 2013
blkgoodfella wrote:
<quoted text>
I definitely cosign all this, but it gets more complicating. Yes a lot of classier ones are jumping ship, but there is also those good girls who are still trying to be with the street guys/bum types trying to turn them into good men and all that. Than when they get fed up with all that they want to pursue white men. That seems to be the trend now.
I agree with this.

“ News”

Level 6

Since: Aug 11

Location hidden

#1441 Sep 12, 2013
KPITRL wrote:
<quoted text>
I think this slowly but surely originated from the Whitney - Bobby relationship. Then Martin and Gina took it to the next level, not to mention "The Prince of Belair" in between, portraying Will as been popular with the ladies, and Carl being a snobby turn off. This may be stretching it a little, but some of this could have even been traced back to "Good Times", portraying Michael as the smart one, and JJ as the ladies man. For somebody who struck out as much as JJ, he still always had a date for some reason.
How did I leave out Erkel?. He was probably the icing on the cake, as far as playing the smart guy who wasn't popular with the girls. I don't think he ever got that girl to go out with him.

After years of watching him, I guess the Huxtable girl types, or even the Jan Brady types were probably preferring the Tupacs' and the Snoop Dogs' instead, all the way down to the Mike Tysons'.

Level 1

Since: Sep 13

Location hidden

#1442 Sep 12, 2013
blkgoodfella wrote:
<quoted text>
If their skin is darker I think they can get away with being average or not as good looking, but a lighter man better be on point from all aspects just to get some attention.
I am the Boomerang slang guy from a few pages back. I forgot my login to this site,lol. Anyway,that is 100 percent truth what you said. If you are a light skin black man or biracial,you have to be considered EXTREMELY attractive to women(especially black women)for them to even look at you. They have to consider you as attractive as Chris Brown,Michael Ealy,Shemar Moore etc. Because a lot of these women expect all light skin men to be grade A for some reason. If you are average,you better have a lot of money or some "swag" or you might as well not even try with black women. It's messed up,but I'm just being honest about that. I have seen some homely looking dark skin brothas with some cute light skin/brown skin and even white women. Their dark skin is considered masculine,so a lot of women are already attracted to them based on that alone.

Level 1

Since: Sep 13

Location hidden

#1443 Sep 13, 2013
Another thing I forgot to say. Why is it when black women say they don't like light skin men they feel the need to repeat it over and over? I mean,they will protest that shit up and down the street that they don't like light skin men. I never understood that. Is it because they think we're all cocky,so they're trying to take us down from some presumed pedestal?

Level 3

Since: May 12

Bel Air, MD

#1444 Sep 13, 2013
KPITRL wrote:
<quoted text>
How did I leave out Erkel?. He was probably the icing on the cake, as far as playing the smart guy who wasn't popular with the girls. I don't think he ever got that girl to go out with him.
After years of watching him, I guess the Huxtable girl types, or even the Jan Brady types were probably preferring the Tupacs' and the Snoop Dogs' instead, all the way down to the Mike Tysons'.
I am becoming to eager to ask your age cause you sir are taking it waaayyy back and way deep lol.

Level 3

Since: May 12

Bel Air, MD

#1445 Sep 13, 2013
Dream_Merchant wrote:
Another thing I forgot to say. Why is it when black women say they don't like light skin men they feel the need to repeat it over and over? I mean,they will protest that shit up and down the street that they don't like light skin men. I never understood that. Is it because they think we're all cocky,so they're trying to take us down from some presumed pedestal?
You said it correctly. They do think that and they are basically trying to dumb is down. I witness that from time to time even with women I was supposebly in a situation with. The think that irritates me is here we are in 2013 and you still have black folks who always wanna reference people and stereotypes form the late 80s or early 90s. Like why am I still being referenced to AL B SURE or the dag'on Debarges lol.
But yeat it is crazy though. What I also noticed is that many women love darker men so much that they will financially take care of and support them, but a lot of BW now and days are like that especially in my area regardless of the dude. They love to feel needed rather than wanted and feel more comfortable being with a dude who's livelihood depends on them. That's why when it comes to black couples or younger black couples should I see, you wil rarely see any couples who are social/ecomically compatible or on the same level. Not trying to toot my horn, but it seems like when BW ask me what do I do now and days and I tell them I have a good job they display some form of timidness or intimidation, yet these are the same group of women claiming that us men are afraid of their independence.

Level 3

Since: May 12

Bel Air, MD

#1446 Sep 13, 2013
Dream_Merchant wrote:
<quoted text>
I have seen some homely looking dark skin brothas with some cute light skin/brown skin and even white women. Their dark skin is considered masculine,so a lot of women are already attracted to them based on that alone.
Oh you will see this all day everyday. I can understand if all these brothas were the handsome chocolate trophy types they use to refer to back in the day, but alot of these brothas sure ain't no Morris Chestnuts or Tyson Beckfords. Here in the Northeast I def rarely see any smooth chocolate skinned, pearly white nice smile dark skin men like that either. These dudes are rugged as hell looking like they have bad genetics or like they been through hell and back. By the time a lot of these guys reach late 30s or 40s they will look years older, worn down, or like a bunch of dried up raisins. I'm almost in my mid thirties and my so called "light n oily" skin sure has been and will help me out later on in life hands down.

“ News”

Level 6

Since: Aug 11

Location hidden

#1447 Sep 13, 2013
Dream_Merchant wrote:
<quoted text>
I am the Boomerang slang guy from a few pages back. I forgot my login to this site,lol. Anyway,that is 100 percent truth what you said. If you are a light skin black man or biracial,you have to be considered EXTREMELY attractive to women(especially black women)for them to even look at you. They have to consider you as attractive as Chris Brown,Michael Ealy,Shemar Moore etc. Because a lot of these women expect all light skin men to be grade A for some reason. If you are average,you better have a lot of money or some "swag" or you might as well not even try with black women. It's messed up,but I'm just being honest about that. I have seen some homely looking dark skin brothas with some cute light skin/brown skin and even white women. Their dark skin is considered masculine,so a lot of women are already attracted to them based on that alone.
I have to agree with you that biracial men probably do have different experiences with black women. Although their experiences are similar to the light skinned mens, theirs are probably more extreme.

Level 3

Since: May 12

Bel Air, MD

#1448 Sep 13, 2013
KPITRL wrote:
<quoted text>
I have to agree with you that biracial men probably do have different experiences with black women. Although their experiences are similar to the light skinned mens, theirs are probably more extreme.
Yes to that. I am biracial and they can be way more extreme.

“ News”

Level 6

Since: Aug 11

Location hidden

#1449 Sep 13, 2013
blkgoodfella wrote:
<quoted text>
You said it correctly. They do think that and they are basically trying to dumb is down. I witness that from time to time even with women I was supposebly in a situation with. The think that irritates me is here we are in 2013 and you still have black folks who always wanna reference people and stereotypes form the late 80s or early 90s. Like why am I still being referenced to AL B SURE or the dag'on Debarges lol.
But yeat it is crazy though. What I also noticed is that many women love darker men so much that they will financially take care of and support them, but a lot of BW now and days are like that especially in my area regardless of the dude. They love to feel needed rather than wanted and feel more comfortable being with a dude who's livelihood depends on them. That's why when it comes to black couples or younger black couples should I see, you wil rarely see any couples who are social/ecomically compatible or on the same level. Not trying to toot my horn, but it seems like when BW ask me what do I do now and days and I tell them I have a good job they display some form of timidness or intimidation, yet these are the same group of women claiming that us men are afraid of their independence.
Black women dating black men below them is something I also hear was or is popular in the South, the ATL in particular. What I have noticed in the North and the South is, once many of them know you have a well paying career, you suddenly become a cash cow, that, or you find yourself paying for everything, at least until you say something about it.

Level 3

Since: May 12

Bel Air, MD

#1450 Sep 13, 2013
KPITRL wrote:
<quoted text>
Black women dating black men below them is something I also hear was or is popular in the South, the ATL in particular. What I have noticed in the North and the South is, once many of them know you have a well paying career, you suddenly become a cash cow, that, or you find yourself paying for everything, at least until you say something about it.
Yes that can be the case most of the time. Thats usually the way it works. If they know you're making a lil bit of money they will have higher financial expectations of you than their ex's who did not. Men who have at usually are expected to "pay for the p*ssy" while those who don't have it get a free ride. Now you also have some who at first won't ask for much and may spend a little money on you and have you thinking that they are not about your money, but in the end that won't always be the case. Those are the type of men they call Mr. "do rights" while the do wrongs don't have any expectations and are actually more genuily liked and preferred over Mr. "do right". What I just described has been my dating life for the most part lol.
what

San Diego, CA

#1451 Sep 13, 2013
Dream_Merchant wrote:
Another thing I forgot to say. Why is it when black women say they don't like light skin men they feel the need to repeat it over and over? I mean,they will protest that shit up and down the street that they don't like light skin men. I never understood that. Is it because they think we're all cocky,so they're trying to take us down from some presumed pedestal?
I noticed this, too. I think that some women are being honest about their preference for dark skin men. However, I think some of these who say that they are not attracted to light skin men are lying. I think some of these women are attracted to light skin men, but they won't admit it. Perhaps, some women feel that dark skin men would be more loyal compared to light skin men. Maybe, women think that light skin men have a lot of options.
I have heard some women stereotype light skin men on the basis of Chris Brown incident with Rihanna.
what

San Diego, CA

#1452 Sep 13, 2013
blkgoodfella wrote:
<quoted text>
You said it correctly. They do think that and they are basically trying to dumb is down. I witness that from time to time even with women I was supposebly in a situation with. The think that irritates me is here we are in 2013 and you still have black folks who always wanna reference people and stereotypes form the late 80s or early 90s. Like why am I still being referenced to AL B SURE or the dag'on Debarges lol.
But yeat it is crazy though. What I also noticed is that many women love darker men so much that they will financially take care of and support them, but a lot of BW now and days are like that especially in my area regardless of the dude. They love to feel needed rather than wanted and feel more comfortable being with a dude who's livelihood depends on them. That's why when it comes to black couples or younger black couples should I see, you wil rarely see any couples who are social/ecomically compatible or on the same level. Not trying to toot my horn, but it seems like when BW ask me what do I do now and days and I tell them I have a good job they display some form of timidness or intimidation, yet these are the same group of women claiming that us men are afraid of their independence.
I noticed this as well, especially the 1980s references. I went to a forum to obtain more information on this dark skin light skin preferences among women. I've heard women say that a lot of black women prefer dark skin men because of the 1980s. I'm told that, in the 1980s, light skin men were the preference. So, women wanted to go against the light skin preference of the 1980s by making dark skin men their preference in the 1990s. Although, in total honesty, different skin tones always dated,and/or married, and/or had children with each other in the black community.
Although, a lot of the younger women don't reference Al B, or Chico Debarge. A lot of younger women now reference Chris Brown or J. Cole.

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