Black Men /Virgin women
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Caribean girl

Apopka, FL

#1 Jul 4, 2011
I was sexually abused when I was around 5 and 6 now I am 23 years old and am still a virgin its not because I want to wait til marriage, but it is because I am just simply waiting for a guy to repect me. None of the men I have ever dated know of my past they just assume that Im a girl that doesnt want to have sex or that I haven't met the right guy that will "lay it down for me". Sometimes I think if I tell them maybe they will understand but I dont want to be dumb because I know not everyone will be able to handle that well, and I honestly dont plan on telling anyone(might tell the guy I marry). The BM that I date do respect that I am a virgin but lol they get urges and I usually end it because I am not ready. Personally I dont think it is wrong to want to wait I mean I have never been with any guy for more than four months(none of them have really been worth much) I mean its not like I want to wait til marriage mind you I dont want to think about marriage until Im 30 so that would be a looong wait. I just started this topic because I want to hear your thoughts on Woman/Black women who are either Celibate or Virgins.

When is it an acception?

Do you really need to know the reason behind the celebacy or virginity?

How long of a wait is the dealbreaker for you? 2 mos? 5days?lol 8mos?

and how do you think you would feel/handle if your S.O. told you about her past abuse(70% of women have been abused). Would you be more careful? Freakout and run away?

I am not here to bash anyone I just am curious about how someone would react to these situations since each person is different it could be interesting.

Black men What is your take on this? other people are welcome to chime in if they want.:)
lalalalala

Charlotte, NC

#2 Jul 4, 2011
Men seem to say they like virgins, but their actions say otherwise. If you were to take a survey of all married women, I'd bet that the majority of these women weren't virgins before they were married. In fact, a sure fire way to ensure that you are lonely for the rest of your life is to tell a blk man you want to wait until marriage to have sex! So men claim to love virgins and sexual purity, but always end up catering to what they define as "sluts". And then strangely rant and rave when those loose women end up turning their lives inside out. Its weird. I dunno why men have such a love/hate relationship when it comes to women and sexuality. They just can't get it right.
Carribean girl

Apopka, FL

#3 Jul 4, 2011
lalalalala wrote:
Men seem to say they like virgins, but their actions say otherwise. If you were to take a survey of all married women, I'd bet that the majority of these women weren't virgins before they were married. In fact, a sure fire way to ensure that you are lonely for the rest of your life is to tell a blk man you want to wait until marriage to have sex! So men claim to love virgins and sexual purity, but always end up catering to what they define as "sluts". And then strangely rant and rave when those loose women end up turning their lives inside out. Its weird. I dunno why men have such a love/hate relationship when it comes to women and sexuality. They just can't get it right.
lol thats my exact experience I guess I will be alone because I refuse play that game
lalalalala

Charlotte, NC

#4 Jul 4, 2011
Carribean girl wrote:
<quoted text>
lol thats my exact experience I guess I will be alone because I refuse play that game
I understand you a lot. How old are you? I've only been with one man in my entire life and that was because I was weak and gave into his pressure when we were engaged. Blk men play these mindgames. I say blk men because I've never been with other men so they are the only ones I interact with. They play these mindgames. They'll yap all day long about "good girl this" and "good girl that". But when you try to be that, you get punished by getting cheated on or left. Blk men complain about hoes, but what they don't realize is that there is no incentive for a blk woman to be "good" in our race. Hoes are the ones who are rewarded with blk men's attention. Some of the biggest hoes are the ones who are married. Blk men don't care about good qualities in women. They only care about azz and titties. That's why they're always being taken advantage of by bad women. If you only roll around inthe dirt, don't bitch about the fleas! Good women are routinely ignored or overlooked until blk men have whored themselves out, gotten taken advantage of by bad women, have a couple of illegitimate kids and stds and then they expect good blk women to be there to pick up the pieces. When we aren't there, that's when they become bitter and angry at us online. My advice to you is to not have sex until you are good and ready. I don't regret having sex with my ex-fiancee, but next time around I will wait until I'm married.
Carribean girl

Apopka, FL

#5 Jul 4, 2011
I am 23 and the comment about BM only wantin ass and titties cracks me up it reminds me of evelyn lozanda on Basketball wives she is definitely NOT wifey material lol yet thats what he wants lol oh lawd I dunno what is wrong with the world.
The BM that become bitter are the weak minded who want us to be their mama and jiggle their balls lol I aint with that they need to act right and get grown!

“I come in peace...”

Level 3

Since: Jun 11

Location hidden

#7 Jul 4, 2011
lalalalala wrote:
Men seem to say they like virgins, but their actions say otherwise. If you were to take a survey of all married women, I'd bet that the majority of these women weren't virgins before they were married. In fact, a sure fire way to ensure that you are lonely for the rest of your life is to tell a blk man you want to wait until marriage to have sex! So men claim to love virgins and sexual purity, but always end up catering to what they define as "sluts". And then strangely rant and rave when those loose women end up turning their lives inside out. Its weird. I dunno why men have such a love/hate relationship when it comes to women and sexuality. They just can't get it right.
Lol! This reminds me of the Madonna-wh*re complex... Ha!

Level 4

Since: Sep 09

Oured,Osea

#8 Jul 4, 2011
I guess some BM are kinda conflicted on their views of black female virgins. Some BM commend and respect you for being one, but at the same time, some of them see virgins as fresh meat all for their taking for sexual gratification. If a BM gets with you as a virgin but gets mad when you refuse to put out, that's a clear indicator that he only wants you for sex and is probably commitment phobia.
Carribean girl

Apopka, FL

#10 Jul 4, 2011
XThePopeX wrote:
You don't have to have sex. I dated this chick that was a virgin, and she used to just jerk me off in her face every other day, and we were both cool with that. She even experienced orgasm's doing it.
lol different "Strokes" for different folks
lalalalala

Charlotte, NC

#11 Jul 4, 2011
Nerdtician wrote:
I guess some BM are kinda conflicted on their views of black female virgins. Some BM commend and respect you for being one, but at the same time, some of them see virgins as fresh meat all for their taking for sexual gratification. If a BM gets with you as a virgin but gets mad when you refuse to put out, that's a clear indicator that he only wants you for sex and is probably commitment phobia.
Good advice!
lalalalala

Charlotte, NC

#12 Jul 4, 2011
XThePopeX wrote:
You don't have to have sex. I dated this chick that was a virgin, and she used to just jerk me off in her face every other day, and we were both cool with that. She even experienced orgasm's doing it.
Lol! You freak! The woman still has to be careful with that b/c of possible stds. Otherwise, if both parties are safe and happy then sounds good to me. I'm not sure I would have been satisfied with that however. I would have at least needed a bit of caressing below the belt to find that oh so wonderful release.
yAA

Mount Morris, MI

#13 Jul 4, 2011
lalalalala wrote:
<quoted text>I understand you a lot. How old are you? I've only been with one man in my entire life and that was because I was weak and gave into his pressure when we were engaged. Blk men play these mindgames. I say blk men because I've never been with other men so they are the only ones I interact with. They play these mindgames. They'll yap all day long about "good girl this" and "good girl that". But when you try to be that, you get punished by getting cheated on or left. Blk men complain about hoes, but what they don't realize is that there is no incentive for a blk woman to be "good" in our race. Hoes are the ones who are rewarded with blk men's attention. Some of the biggest hoes are the ones who are married. Blk men don't care about good qualities in women. They only care about azz and titties. That's why they're always being taken advantage of by bad women. If you only roll around inthe dirt, don't bitch about the fleas! Good women are routinely ignored or overlooked until blk men have whored themselves out, gotten taken advantage of by bad women, have a couple of illegitimate kids and stds and then they expect good blk women to be there to pick up the pieces. When we aren't there, that's when they become bitter and angry at us online. My advice to you is to not have sex until you are good and ready. I don't regret having sex with my ex-fiancee, but next time around I will wait until I'm married.
can you give specific examples of the mind games black men play? what do you mean when you say,this?
Carribean girl

Apopka, FL

#14 Jul 4, 2011
yAA wrote:
<quoted text>
can you give specific examples of the mind games black men play? what do you mean when you say,this?
for me I dont think it is mind games but it can seem that way because if a man says he is ok with waiting but then acts differently that can be seen as a game to a woman. maybe I am being naive but personally I think it is the urges that a guy goes through he says he wants to wait because he does want to but when he sees me and we kiss he has urges :( but that dont mean im giving in

“Sombrero Galaxy”

Level 8

Since: Jan 10

I'm An Illegal Alien

#17 Jul 4, 2011
I feel sorry for you.
James

UK

#18 Jul 4, 2011
Yes virginity and purity is good but some guys want to chase the bad girls then settle down with a good wifey aka wife lol then again some girls go for the bad guy then want a gd man its nonsense and foolish lol white people do that aswell.

“May Allah Guide Mankind”

Level 6

Since: Mar 09

Jihad An-Nafs

#19 Jul 5, 2011
But what's the big deal about sleeping with a virgin? For one, it's painful, too tight. I'd rather shag a girl who has had 1 child. I guess some guys like tight girls...at any rate, there's no accounting for taste
Carribean girl

Apopka, FL

#20 Jul 5, 2011
emperorjohn wrote:
I feel sorry for you.
for who? why?
Truth

United States

#22 Jul 5, 2011
Most guys dont want to be bothered having to teach a noobie about sex... Too much work. Plus anyone who is a virgin after age 25 is just plain weird or damaged goods in the head.
Carribean girl

Apopka, FL

#23 Jul 5, 2011
Truth wrote:
Most guys dont want to be bothered having to teach a noobie about sex... Too much work. Plus anyone who is a virgin after age 25 is just plain weird or damaged goods in the head.
Ive heard that before no one has to "teach" me anything if anything I'd have to teach them somethings, just because im a virgin does not mean I dont know how to express my sexuality when the time comes. I think you are thinking that I am innocent in that sense pft Dont get it twisted honey Im an aries girl look it up.
Truth

United States

#24 Jul 5, 2011
Carribean girl wrote:
<quoted text>
Ive heard that before no one has to "teach" me anything if anything I'd have to teach them somethings, just because im a virgin does not mean I dont know how to express my sexuality when the time comes. I think you are thinking that I am innocent in that sense pft Dont get it twisted honey Im an aries girl look it up.
So you are slut hiding behind the facade of being a virgin... Aka a technical "virgin". Still pretty weird, just do it an get it over with. Sex is not that big a deal this day and age.
Carribean girl

Apopka, FL

#25 Jul 5, 2011
Truth wrote:
<quoted text>
So you are slut hiding behind the facade of being a virgin... Aka a technical "virgin". Still pretty weird, just do it an get it over with. Sex is not that big a deal this day and age.

wow so now Im a slut because I can express my sexuality when the right guy comes, and hasnt yet. but if not then im a waste of time? oh what a fool maybe you should read my reply again and not think so hard. sex is not a big deal to you, well thats just you :)

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