Are there any good black men left for us black women out there?

Posted in the African-American Forum

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Zahra

United States

#1 Sep 27, 2007
It seems that it's becoming more and more common for black men to date women of another race. The university I go to, most of the black men you see, are with white girls. My own ex-boyfriend is now dating an asian girl and was with a white girl before that. Also, two of my very good male friends are dating white girls.
Everytime I go out in public, I see more and more interracial couples. Why?
I see so many of these men claiming to be so proud of their heritage and being so involved in many African related groups yet they go off and date white girls (most commonly) or hispanics, or asians, etc.
Isn't that a bit hypocritical on their part? How are they so proud to be African American yet they don't even go after a good black woman?
It just does't make sense to me. I have nothing against interracial dating, but it seems strange to me that all of the sudden it has become so popular and it's so hard for me to find a nice, single black man!
I talked about this to my friend, who is also black, and she just doesn't understand! She said "well why does it bother you?? And why do you want to date a black man? You shouldn't care about race. Just worry about finding a MAN regardless of his race and maybe then you'll be more successfull". She is dating a white man and I support her decision to date a white guy and I am happy for her, but she doesn't understand me! It's not that easy. I don't mind dating other races, But I prefer black guys and it outrages me that so many of them would betray their race and go off with some trashy white girls!!!
ccc

Brooklyn, NY

#2 Sep 27, 2007
i feel ur pain.. as a single blk woman

mdf

Since: Sep 07

San Antonio, TX

#3 Sep 27, 2007
Yes; If You Only Stop Equating Black Against White
WXman

AOL

#4 Sep 27, 2007
Here's the thing Zahra, you say that a black man is your preference right? Then aren't those guys also entitled to a preference as well? Why would you be concerned about a guy whose personal preference doesn't match your own? I'm not putting you down, I'm just trying to understand what makes it right for one person to be entitled to a preference and wrong for another.

What if a white woman has a preference for a black man? Is she "selling out her race" too? I'd say don't pine over who is not available to you and pay attention to who IS, no matter what color his skin is.

“Selah”

Level 1

Since: Aug 07

Duluth, GA

#5 Sep 27, 2007
Where do you live? Why are you acting like the black men are disappearing. If you stop looking at other people being happy and hating on them maybe a man will be able to approach you.
Zahra

United States

#6 Sep 27, 2007
Well, I have nothing against interracial relationships. I am not racist in the least bit, but I think it's only natural for people to be attracted to their own race and I find it strange that more and more black men are leaving black women behind for White women, or Asian women, or Hispanic women.
Are we not good enough for you? Is it just a coincidence that they met women of other races that they happened to get along with and like?
Or are most of these men intentionally looking after women of other races and are no longer interested in black women?
WXman

AOL

#7 Sep 27, 2007
I can only speak for myself as a guy who has dated just about every race of women:

Q: Are we not good enough for you?
A: Some of you are, some aren't. Same with EVERY race of women.

Q: Is it just a coincidence that they met women of other races that they happened to get along with and like?
A: My profession has caused me to travel the world and meet a wide range of people of all races.(I'm also ex-military) This directly affected who I met. If I jibed with a woman and we hit it off and got along.....race was, and still is, irrelevant to me.

Q: Or are most of these men intentionally looking after women of other races and are no longer interested in black women?
A: Again, some are and some aren't. Some like chocolate, some like vanilla, some like rocky road. It doesn't make them or you wrong. It becomes a problem when one forces their personal beliefs/preferences on others.

The majority of black men are still getting with black women, so much ado has been made out of nothing as far as IR relationships go. As racial barriers continue to fall and we learn more about each other, IR relationships are going to continue to increase. Ironically, in the U.S. I've found the least amount of tolerance for IR couples. In Europe, for example, they tend to be a lot more progressive in that regard.

Again, nothing wrong if you prefer a black man, just make sure to focus on those who prefer you and not those who are not available.

sweetgirl101

Memphis, TN

#10 Sep 27, 2007
Zahra wrote:
It seems that it's becoming more and more common for black men to date women of another race. The university I go to, most of the black men you see, are with white girls. My own ex-boyfriend is now dating an asian girl and was with a white girl before that. Also, two of my very good male friends are dating white girls.
Everytime I go out in public, I see more and more interracial couples. Why?
I see so many of these men claiming to be so
proud of their heritage and being so involved in many African related groups yet they go off and date white girls (most commonly) or hispanics, or asians, etc.
Isn't that a bit hypocritical on their part? How are they so proud to be African American yet they don't even go after a good black woman?
It just does't make sense to me. I have nothing against interracial dating, but it seems strange to me that all of the sudden it has become so popular and it's so hard for me to find a nice, single black man!
I talked about this to my friend, who is also black, and she just doesn't understand! She said "well why does it bother you?? And why do you want to date a black man? You shouldn't care about race. Just worry about finding a MAN regardless of his race and maybe then you'll be more successfull". She is dating a white man and I support her decision to date a white guy and I am happy for her, but she doesn't understand me! It's not that easy. I don't mind dating other races, But I prefer black guys and it outrages me that so many of them would betray their race and go off with some trashy white girls!!!
HMMM WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

Level 6

Since: May 07

Sunnyvale, CA

#11 Sep 27, 2007
WXman wrote:
Here's the thing Zahra, you say that a black man is your preference right? Then aren't those guys also entitled to a preference as well? Why would you be concerned about a guy whose personal preference doesn't match your own? I'm not putting you down, I'm just trying to understand what makes it right for one person to be entitled to a preference and wrong for another.
What if a white woman has a preference for a black man? Is she "selling out her race" too? I'd say don't pine over who is not available to you and pay attention to who IS, no matter what color his skin is.
If the woman wants to date a black man don't encourage her not to, there are plenty of black men out there who still love the black women let the woman try.
Zahra

United States

#12 Sep 27, 2007
I live in California.
sweetgirl101

Memphis, TN

#13 Sep 27, 2007
GIRL YOU BETS TO GET READY BECAUSE ONE DAY THIS IR THING IS GOING TO BE THE NORM!!!!

Since: Sep 07

Memphis, TN

#14 Sep 27, 2007
Bye the time a lot of you sistas want an actual good black man, other women have recognized that they are goodmen too.

Since: Sep 07

Cedar Rapids

#15 Sep 27, 2007
It's all about equality. I have a hard time understanding "conditional" equality. With the genuine belief that we are all equal, it's hard to isolate one thing, like relationships, and say....well....I guess we're not equal.

I don't care what color somebody is. If there is chemistry there, emotion there.....we need to be together.

I was taught as a very young boy that skin color was only something your eye could see. I was taught we are all the same on the inside. This is the most basic of lessons in race-relations, but it is also the most overlooked.

Let your guard down a little. Love is there, but not always when or where you expect it or hope for it.
C-Bisquit

AOL

#16 Sep 27, 2007
Ladys look no further I'm right here! LOL Well its probably true that there are more of us black men in Jail than in college, I mean we all know atleast one person in jail. But that should be a lesson for black people to raise there kids right. Stop lettin T.V. babysit and raise you kids. People are always complainin about the daddy issue, a father can play a good role in a childs life. But to think a child cant be raised with his or her father than you are just makin an excuse for your poor choices. My father wasnt there the whole time and I will surpassing both of my elders with degrees and plenty of cheese.
WXman

AOL

#17 Sep 28, 2007
beautiful black woman wrote:
<quoted text>
If the woman wants to date a black man don't encourage her not to, there are plenty of black men out there who still love the black women let the woman try.
Wrong-o, BBW. I'm not discouraging her from being interested in a black man. I've already said she's entitled to her preference just like anyone else is. The only thing I'm discouraging is excluding ANYBODY. Which is equivalent to including EVERYBODY....black men too.

“Holdin' it down. ”

Since: Jul 07

Plant City, FL

#18 Sep 28, 2007
In your opinion, what makes a man good?
WXman

AOL

#19 Sep 28, 2007
That's a good question.

Level 6

Since: May 07

Sunnyvale, CA

#20 Sep 28, 2007
WXman wrote:
<quoted text>
Wrong-o, BBW. I'm not discouraging her from being interested in a black man. I've already said she's entitled to her preference just like anyone else is. The only thing I'm discouraging is excluding ANYBODY. Which is equivalent to including EVERYBODY....black men too.
Well maybe she is not interested in anybody, maybe she loves the black man so much there isn't anyone or anything else she wants, there are men and women out there like that you know.

Since: May 07

Washington, DC

#21 Sep 28, 2007
Zahra wrote:
It seems that it's becoming more and more common for black men to date women of another race. The university I go to, most of the black men you see, are with white girls. My own ex-boyfriend is now dating an asian girl and was with a white girl before that. Also, two of my very good male friends are dating white girls.
Everytime I go out in public, I see more and more interracial couples. Why?
I see so many of these men claiming to be so proud of their heritage and being so involved in many African related groups yet they go off and date white girls (most commonly) or hispanics, or asians, etc.
Isn't that a bit hypocritical on their part? How are they so proud to be African American yet they don't even go after a good black woman?
It just does't make sense to me. I have nothing against interracial dating, but it seems strange to me that all of the sudden it has become so popular and it's so hard for me to find a nice, single black man!
I talked about this to my friend, who is also black, and she just doesn't understand! She said "well why does it bother you?? And why do you want to date a black man? You shouldn't care about race. Just worry about finding a MAN regardless of his race and maybe then you'll be more successfull". She is dating a white man and I support her decision to date a white guy and I am happy for her, but she doesn't understand me! It's not that easy. I don't mind dating other races, But I prefer black guys and it outrages me that so many of them would betray their race and go off with some trashy white girls!!!
Hey Zahra! I truly understand what you're saying and to answer your question, YES, there's still plenty of good black men that have been anxiously awaiting you to notice them, but you're not looking hard enough or in the right places for good black men like us. The reason why these good educated black men date out is because some of them still stereotype black women teen to adolescent age that they want thugs and have bad attitudes, and even though is still true for the most part to this very day among black women of those age groups, I as well as some of us other good black men still havent given up on you beautiful black Nubian goddesses. Just have faith in yourself that you may someday find a good black man. Don't despair, just keep your head up and I'm sure you'll find a strong black king that will treat you right.
Michele

Trenton, NJ

#24 Sep 28, 2007
A black man can still be proud 2 be African-American AND prefer dating another race atthe same time. How is that betraying his race? You say you are not against interracial relationships, yet you are complaining about it, whether you think so or not. I'm hispanic & I'm engaged to a "black man" and he's still proud to be African-American, maybe more than others, lol.. we just fell in love. Is there anything wrong with that?

There are also many white and hispanic men that LOVE beautiful black women! Would you turn them down and tell them that they are betraying their race? If so, that's quite ignorant.

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