Fake News Article Game
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“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#1 Dec 25, 2013
This game is elsewhere on Topix, so why not a version here? Here is one place in the Af. Am. Forum where maybe we can keep all the fighting, trolling, spamming, etc., to a minimum and put our frustrations and comebacks into writing fake news articles. Lets try not to use real names nor bully.

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#2 Dec 25, 2013
New Robot Invented to Reduce Racially Motivated Sex Crimes

8-29-13 [SP]- Officials in Spottedville are fed up with racially-motivated crimes. Except here, the crimes are mostly Black on White. According to Mayor Jenny Smith, "You usually don't hear about this kind of racism, and it isn't politically correct to mention it. We had to do something." There was a huge spike in racially motivated rapes and slayings of White women over the last two years, according to local experts. Dr. Todd Adams of the nearby university says, "I had the students who discovered this trend to check their figures over and over, and according to police records, rapes had spiked over 500%, and the technology department had an idea that the police could try."

So what is that new idea? According to Dr. Joe Daniels, "We thought a new, realistic robot would help curb this problem." The robot completely replicates a Caucasian female in features, movement, voice, height, anatomical correctness,and even scent. The main difference is that she is equipped with hidden surveillance equipment and various hidden weapons. Daniels says, "There are drug-filled syringes in the vaginal vault and mouth, C-4 explosives in the abdominal cavity, retractable razors under the fingernails, and various hidden guns. The whole thing is operated by a combination of computer logic and remote control."

Police may employ the robot in high-risk areas where the rapes occur. Det. Jim Bronson says, "This is a new tool in our arsenal, and this robot has other uses. It can perform CPR, silently contact 911 in certain emergency situations, befriend wandering or lost children and help them to remain safe, and even help talk suicidal persons off of ledges."

Local civil rights groups have their concerns. "What if this robot explodes on some man of color having consensual relations with this robot," asks Keshia Brown of the Black Advocacy Alliance chapter. "Besides, why aren't there any Black and Asian female robots of this nature? Aren't all women worth protecting?"

Bill Smith of Stop Capital Punishment Now expresses concerns that this robot could be used as a form of capital punishment or a vigilante. "What is the difference between this robot and a suicide bomber? Anyone who has control of this robot can execute anyone they desire."

Bronson says, "Yes, there are concerns that this robot will be misused, but our department will take every possible precaution. Our main concern is our women and girls, and we need to remove these sexual predators by any means possible. These robots will start with non-lethal deterrents when under attack, and then escalate if the attacker does. Under the law, they will receive the same protections as police officers. As long as the robots announce themselves as officers before taking any actions we should be free of liability."

So keep reading for any possible future stories involving these robots.

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#4 Dec 25, 2013
Chucky McSpeers wrote:
Woman Who Microwaved Baby Files Fourth Appeal
September 23, 2013
Oh,....wait.
http://naturallymoi.com/2013/09/news/woman-wh...
That's not fake.
Poor baby! This has happened a handful of times, and by all races and genders.There was a case where a zonked out baby sitter baked and served the baby.

In some cases, this sort of thing seems to be an accident (yes, hard to believe). Some have epilepsy or mental illness and get things mixed up. They microwave the baby and put the bottle in the crib (instead of the other way around). Shouldn't be microwaving bottles either, but a lot do. They get their task order mixed up.
Drillng for the nerve

Batavia, NY

#5 Dec 25, 2013
Former Secretary of State Colin 'I have no credibility' Powell appeared on Face the Nation Sunday where he called the verdict in the Trayvon Martin trial "questionable."

He also called on Obama to be more passionate about race issues.

"I'd like to see him take race-baiting to the next level," Powell said of Obama, whom he endorsed during the 2008 and 2012 presidential election.

"Saying your son be lookin' like Trayvon don't fly," said Powell. "Git da peeps out da house. Break some windows an shyt."

Powell, arguably our nation's greatest beneficiary of Affirmative Action, did concede that Sharpton's appointment as White House Race Relations Secretary was a step in the right direction.

As if to re-enforce the fact that he has no credibility, Powell concluded his segment on Face the Nation by saying, "I'm still a Republican."
Blacks Are Worthless

Miami, FL

#6 Dec 25, 2013
This lady just saved the Ohio taxpayers tons of cash in welfare money they don't have to dole out to support her worthless little nog, she did a wonderful thing & instead of imprisoning her, I say give her a job running the kitchen in the nearest ghetto hospital maternity ward nursery, all she need do is run the gas ovens & microwave ovens to heat things up for the little newborn welfare nogs, like bottles & formula or whatever she can get her hands on that she thinks needs warming up.
Drilling for the nerve

Batavia, NY

#7 Dec 26, 2013
Search on for a million escaped voters

More than a million Obama-bootlicking roaches escaped from a Berkeley, California farm early today and fled to nearby sanctuaries protecting disposed dictators, drug kingpins on the run, and undocumented democrats.

According to local law enforcement, DNC operatives approached the farmer with a plan to raise hordes of liberal roaches as a means to pad voter registration rolls across the country.

California authorities indicated no charges would be filed against the unidentified farmer.

"Why would they charge him?" asked Aaron Neverspit, co-pivot man for Berkeley's left-leaning town council. "The man's a national hero - right up there with Berkeley's adopted daughter, Chelsea Bradley Manning."

Berkeley is a liberal enclave located along the eastern shore of San Francisco Bay in Alameda County, California. Like liberal enclaves every where, Berkeley is best known for its Gay Pride Parade and its hatred of America.

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#8 Dec 26, 2013
Black Group Sues God Over Snow

8-30-2013 [SP]- A local activist group files class action suit against God claiming that snow is racist and doesn't meet affirmative action quotas. Shamal Jones of Take It Black says, "If 17% of the snow were brown or black, we would not be suing. But this is blatant discrimination." So they have filed a case in district court asking for unspecified damages. Jones says, "We want to send out a message to the Almighty that discrimination is unacceptable."

Other activist groups are uncertain that this is productive. Gina Adams of Citizens Action League says that such publicity stunts tarnish the image of minority communities. "Suing God? Are these people for real? I hate racism as much the next person, but we need to spend our energy on more productive goals."

We will keep you up to date as the suit continues.
Drilling for the nerve

Batavia, NY

#9 Dec 26, 2013
Suing God for racist snow ... lol ...

don't give Al and Jesse any ideas!
Drilling for the nerve

Batavia, NY

#10 Dec 26, 2013
Spotted Girl wrote:
New Robot Invented to Reduce Racially Motivated Sex Crimes

I'd equip that sucker with a diamond-tipped, industrial-strength, high speed drill and send it in to Bank Of America after hours!... lol ...

[Disclaimer]
For the FBI Agents who might be reading this: Just kidding! I don't have access to diamonds nor robots and there are no Bank Of America branches in my hometown of Zimbabwe By The Lake, NY.
[/Disclaimer]

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#11 Dec 29, 2013
Drilling for the nerve wrote:
<quoted text>
I'd equip that sucker with a diamond-tipped, industrial-strength, high speed drill and send it in to Bank Of America after hours!... lol ...
[Disclaimer]
For the FBI Agents who might be reading this: Just kidding! I don't have access to diamonds nor robots and there are no Bank Of America branches in my hometown of Zimbabwe By The Lake, NY.
[/Disclaimer]
LOL! That would be a real stimulus package.You certainly give a vulnerability. Someone might perform unauthorized "surgery" on the robot and replace the firmware. So they turn an undercover police robot into a sex slave or a crime slave by just changing software or a chip.
Drilling for the nerve

Batavia, NY

#12 Dec 30, 2013
Westside residents go home after explosion threat ends

Based on an anonymous call to 911 (a man had allegedly barricaded himself inside a house and turned on the gas), police forced an entire neighborhood from their homes.

RG&E, goofy as they are, shut off utility service to 80 customers, then risked rupturing a gas line by digging a hole in the middle of the street with a backhoe.

Frontier, stupid is as stupid does, shut off phone service to the few neighborhood residents too prosperous to qualify for free cell phones.

Three hours later, police determined the house was unoccupied and no threat of a gas explosion existed, despite RG&E's best efforts to create one.

Asked why it took so long to determine a false alarm, police spokeswoman LaQueesha Stokes-Jones defended police action. Said Ms. Jones, "How we be makin' contact wit peeps inside da crib, when da phone lines be dead an shyt?"

More news and a disturbing video at 11
Drilling for the nerve

Batavia, NY

#13 Dec 30, 2013
Spotted Girl wrote:
<quoted text>
So they turn an undercover police robot into a sex slave ...

I don't know. I mean, I'm pretty normal.

Ok, I'm somewhat normal.

Ok, ok, I need to be evaluated, alright? Happy now???... lol ...

Well, after regaining my composure ... I'll pass on a squat little robot on wheels, but maybe a Blade Runner-type, basic pleasure model replicant looking like Shakira wouldn't be too bad.

“The REAL Founding Fathers!!!!!”

Since: Jun 08

Oakland

#14 Jan 18, 2014
Blast Rites

TEL AVIV, Israel — The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It's an armored booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person.

Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling. It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials.

You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement: "Attention to all standby passengers, El Al is proud to announce a seat available on flight 670 to London.

Shalom!"

“The REAL Founding Fathers!!!!!”

Since: Jun 08

Oakland

#16 Jan 19, 2014
Monitor wrote:
24/7
NO dam life.....
smh
Yep, that describes YOU to a T except you forgot one thing. 24/7 NO damned (by the way) life under a plethora of screen names and proxies........

Now, go and mind your own flocking business and have fun talking to your other screen names, a$$sniff........

*smirks*

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#17 Jan 19, 2014
NASA to Rethink Planet Colonization Due to Rape of Aliens

8-31-2013 [SP]- After restarting the NASA program, NASA had finally discovered a planet that was fit for human habitation. They needed volunteers to inhabit the discovered planet. As a condition of the funding for the project, NASA is required to take steps to help the federal government reduce prison populations and gang violence. So they decided to release a number of prison inmates to the newly discovered planet. However, that was not without unintended consequences.

According to Oig Xauo, a prime minister on Planet Spot, "We wish the Earthlings would have never come here. Crime has skyrocketed in the Yggou Province, and females here are getting assaulted in the worst way. On Earth, I think it is called rape, and we are sick of it. I visited the hospital here where several of our women reported waking to big, brown space aliens on top of them."

There seems to be all sorts of health consequences for the citizens of Planet Spot too. Dr. Jiao Naog said, "We recently delivered babies that look a bit unusual. They have less cranial vermiform tentacles than typical, but have this peculiar, black, tightly curled keratinous tissue growing between the tentacles. We contacted Earthling doctors, and they said that is called textured hair. That seems unique to certain human beings, and seems to correspond to what our law enforcement is telling us about what is happening. The challenges faced by the offspring is yet to be seen."

Tempers are seeming to rise among Spottian activists. "How dare you Earthlings come to our planet and abuse our women! No wonder why you weren't welcome on your planet and had to come to ours," says Viau Xymaou. "Our group is committed to making this violence stop, one way another," she added. "Some of our ladies are talking about removing the replication tentacles of some of the Earthling males. We don't condone such actions, but everyone is so angry and frustrated right now."

An unnamed NASA spokesperson claims they are investigating complaints and that they cannot be held responsible for the consequences following orders and that this is out of their jurisdiction.

So what will happen with this situation is yet to be seen. Tensions seem to be tight and nobody knows how to solve this dilemma. Spotian police are bracing themselves for more violence.

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#18 Jan 19, 2014
Anti-Ghetto Behavior Vaccine Developed

9-03-2013 [SP]- Some call the new vaccine racist, but scientists are starting human trials of a vaccine designed to stop antisocial behaviors. "The police asked us to come up for something to stop the rampant increase in crime. They asked if it were possible to create a vaccine to stop certain behaviors linked to crime, and we figured we would give it a try," says Dr. Jason Smith of Area Research Center.

Activist groups are asking that the trials be stopped. Damien Jones of the Liberty Action League says, "We don't know what this vaccine will do. Will it target minorities? And I am concerned it may become mandatory. This is a an infringement on human rights and freedoms. We will sue to try to stop this if we must. It is not right."

The research center says that the vaccines are designed to help reduce certain types of bacteria which cause antisocial behavior. There are still more questions than answers as to what this vaccine will do. According to Smith, "We believe this will reduce violence and hypersexuality, and may reduce some need to give into peer pressure."

There are many questions about this new vaccine and the FDA has declined to comment, saying it is not their place to comment on active trials.

Copyright 2013 Spotted Press
Lois Lane

Killbuck, OH

#19 Jan 19, 2014
Armageddon!!!!!

O.P. date:10/10/13

I made the mistake of lighting the match says (name withheld by request) known on the internet as “Hellywood”.

My lover & I were doing our weekly hamster sex & I had just inserted the cardboard tube into my lover (known as "Hellywood" on the net.) & pushed our hamster named "bungholio" down the tube & ( name withheld by request) started yelling "ARMAGGEDON" which is our "safe" word. I tried to retrieve our beloved rodent & he would not come out. So I lit a match thinking the hamster would be attracted to the light.

The spokesman for the hospital explains: the fire from the match ignited a pocket of gas that shot out the cardboard tube & which in turn burned Hellywood's eyebrows & eyelashes. The hamster tried running away from the flame by going deeper into the rectum & released a bigger pocket of gas that in turn shot the rodent from the cardboard tube like a cannon ball & went into Hellywood's mouth.

Hellywood states: It happened so fast that I was in shock & then I all of a sudden felt a burning sensation to my face & the smell of singed hair (both from Hellywood's eyebrows & from the hamster) & at almost the same time had a burnt meat taste in my mouth.

Both Hellywood & (name withheld by request) suffered from 2nd degree burns. Hellywood on his face & head & (name withheld by request) suffered burns on his rectum & large intestines.

The hamster was not so lucky & died from the impact upon entering Hellywood's mouth & from the burns.

Both (name withheld by request) & Hellywood are expected to recover fully. However the animal rights group P.E.T.A has got wind of the story & plan a protest march against the two men when they have made a full recovery.

A.P end.
Blacks Are Worthless

Miami, FL

#20 Jan 19, 2014
I got one that hopefully may be more real than imagined: CNN NEWSFLASH, after years of citizens all over America witnessing high altitude USAF military jets dispersing an unknown propellant in the atmosphere, one day everybody in America woke up & realized that all the blacks were dead from exposure to an unknown aerosol chemical, the CIA & the CDC claim that a genetically mutated strain of sickle cell anemia appears to be the culprit, no further investigations will be conducted & the matter is closed, on a lighter note, the government happily announced that the national American social service system affectionately known as welfare has now been abolished.
Blacks Are Worthless

Miami, FL

#21 Jan 19, 2014
Source for news story for above comment lies here:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemtrail_conspiracy_th...
Drilling for the nerve

Batavia, NY

#23 Apr 23, 2014
Are You Smarter than a Street Thug?
Starring Jeff Foxworthy

Today's contestant - DeShaun 'Cookie Man' Lewis

Foxworthy: Are you smarter than a Street Thug, DeShaun?
Cookie Man: You bet yo white @zz I is! Ima nail dis sucka!

Foxworthy: Cookie Man? Name the capital of Africa!
tick ... tick ... tick

Cookie Man: Uhmmm ...
tick ... tick ... tick

Foxworthy: Hurry, DeShaun.

Cookie Man: Uhmmm ...[tick...tick]... dayum! I knowed I knowed it!...[tick...tick]... Copenhagen? Copenhagen! Das right, Copenhagen be da capEEtal of af-REE-ca! An I knowed it, too!

Foxworthy: OMFG ... DeShaun ... my man ... Africa's a continent ... it was a trick question, dude.

Cookie Man: Say wut?!?! You lice-head, inbred, pink-mutant spawns of Satan [thanks, Michele, love you, too, babe!] always be trickin' da black man! Ima pop a cap in YO inbred white @zz!

Tune in next week when Jeff asks the question, "Are you smarter than a 3-time convicted felon?"

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