I'm in love with a guy who's mean to me..sometimes!

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“Calmness: The cradle of power”

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#1
Feb 16, 2010
 
Hey guys, I'm pretty young so bare with me.

Basically I have feelings for a boy i have known for a long while now, and we have been pretty close. We're not as close as we were in 2009 but we are still close enough. Anyway, he just says little things about my weight that makes me feel so horrible and doesn't help me lose weight at all. For example he'd say stuff like "Your legs look sooooo big in those jeans." or "you're so big like a bear...a polar bear." yeah it might sound funny but it makes me feel horrible. He's said some nasty stuff in the past but he says i take it too seriously. Maybe i do, but it's hard not to, especially when you love the person.
I know some of you are gonna say "typical female falling for a prick" but that's the problem, when i fell in love with him, he WAS NOT a prick. He was soooo nice and made me feel soooo wanted and good about myself. Now he makes me feel uneasy sometimes!
Today I plucked up the courage to tell him how him saying stuff like "my big black panda" and stuff like that makes me feel but as usual he says i'm being too emotional. So am i being emotional or do i have a right to be upset?
I do wanna lose weight btw but i have a habit of eating when i'm sad.
GhostOfMikah

Philadelphia, PA

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#2
Feb 16, 2010
 
He wants you to lose weight.

TGA

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#3
Feb 16, 2010
 

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Oh cheese and rice....Just dump the loser.
There are too many good men out there to lose sleep over some guy that thinks your a fatass.
And get some self esteem too, if you had any you would have already told 'your love' to fckn die already.

“Calmness: The cradle of power”

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#4
Feb 16, 2010
 
TGA wrote:
Oh cheese and rice....Just dump the loser.
There are too many good men out there to lose sleep over some guy that thinks your a fatass.
And get some self esteem too, if you had any you would have already told 'your love' to fckn die already.
well how do you get some???

“Calmness: The cradle of power”

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#5
Feb 16, 2010
 
he's not my boyfriend, he's my close friend.

“I'm just a Routined”

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Since: Mar 09

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#6
Feb 16, 2010
 
How young are you for you to be using the word 'love'?

“HONOR YOUR ANCESTORS ”

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#7
Feb 16, 2010
 
this guys is a loser. trust me. i am not a fan of lying to females about their weight. if you are fat, you need to lose weight,period! but lose the weight for yourself , not him. any guy who has to put down females who are his aquaintances is either gay or gay

TGA

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#8
Feb 16, 2010
 
Jbraids wrote:
<quoted text>well how do you get some???
Although I believe it can be taught I also believe you have to have some self understanding to learn..work on that.

“Calmness: The cradle of power”

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#9
Feb 16, 2010
 

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R0utin3Ri0t wrote:
How young are you for you to be using the word 'love'?
you can fall in love at any age. As long as you have a brain and feelings.

I'm 16 years old. Please don't tell me i don't know what love is, cos i do.

“Calmness: The cradle of power”

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#10
Feb 16, 2010
 
TheBlackPatriot wrote:
this guys is a loser. trust me. i am not a fan of lying to females about their weight. if you are fat, you need to lose weight,period! but lose the weight for yourself , not him. any guy who has to put down females who are his aquaintances is either gay or gay
And he said he would support me losing weight etc but he makes it worse foe me.

“Calmness: The cradle of power”

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#11
Feb 16, 2010
 
TGA wrote:
<quoted text>
Although I believe it can be taught I also believe you have to have some self understanding to learn..work on that.
well that helped......*insert sarcasm*

TGA

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#12
Feb 16, 2010
 
Jbraids wrote:
<quoted text>well that helped......*insert sarcasm*
Ha!_:)
You're too young to worry about some guy. Go to school and learn alittle before you get caught up in what some guy thinks.
Good luck.

“I'm just a Routined”

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#13
Feb 16, 2010
 
Jbraids wrote:
<quoted text>
you can fall in love at any age. As long as you have a brain and feelings.
I'm 16 years old. Please don't tell me i don't know what love is, cos i do.
If that's what you think. Two, three, or even four years from now, you will think differently about this whole thing about love.

Until then you should decide what you need to do about the situation, us strangers don't know anything about you or the guy, so only you know whats best.

“Calmness: The cradle of power”

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#14
Feb 16, 2010
 
TGA wrote:
<quoted text>
Ha!_:)
You're too young to worry about some guy. Go to school and learn alittle before you get caught up in what some guy thinks.
Good luck.
Thanks

Since: Apr 09

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#15
Feb 16, 2010
 
Well if you want him to stop being mean, you got to be stern with him. Tell him you don't want him to joke about your weight anymore and make sure he gets the point. If he does it again, cuss him out.

As for the confidence thing, you'll get that once you start feeling good about yourself. You'll start feeling good about yourself when you like everything you have to offer.

An important step would be to lose the weight. Obviously you don't feel good about your weight, and being fat certainly won't make life easier for you. So start losing the weight. Your sixteen right now, so try to aim to be a lot skinnier for 18 or 21.

Self-esteem also has to do with how people see you and how they interact with you. It's all fine and dandy when people say you shouldn't care about what people think and you should be happy with yourself, but it just doesn't work that way. Your self-esteem will rise when people start treating you and respecting you better. Losing the weight will get people to treat you kindly.

And sometimes, having a hard tough attitude will help. It's a self-defense mechanism, but if you're mean to people who are mean to you, then those people will think twice before being mean to you. So my advice is to learn how to act like a bitch. You won't be gaining friends that way, but people will think twice before messing with you.
SueMe

Philadelphia, PA

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#16
Feb 16, 2010
 
If he really loves you like you love him then your physical appearance shouldn't be that big of a deal. Just think about this...that's how old couples have stayed together for 40 and 60 years. Do you think that if they were superficial in major ways that they'd still be in love with all the wrinkly parts of their bodies and the other physical changes that will someday be inevitable? Trust me when I say this...you will never have as much fun in a relationship as you will have with a person that you're in love with them due to their inside attractiveness as you ever would with someone that appearance becomes an issue in the relationship.

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#17
Feb 16, 2010
 
^^^^ yea agree im not sayin he is a bully but those are some jerk moves he's pulling. in order to put a jerk in his place is to out jerk him. no one is perfect and if been around him long enough u know what hurts him. girl, get with it if u want him to stop dont tell him how you feel show him.

“Calmness: The cradle of power”

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#18
Feb 16, 2010
 
Tyheru wrote:
Well if you want him to stop being mean, you got to be stern with him. Tell him you don't want him to joke about your weight anymore and make sure he gets the point. If he does it again, cuss him out.
As for the confidence thing, you'll get that once you start feeling good about yourself. You'll start feeling good about yourself when you like everything you have to offer.
An important step would be to lose the weight. Obviously you don't feel good about your weight, and being fat certainly won't make life easier for you. So start losing the weight. Your sixteen right now, so try to aim to be a lot skinnier for 18 or 21.
Self-esteem also has to do with how people see you and how they interact with you. It's all fine and dandy when people say you shouldn't care about what people think and you should be happy with yourself, but it just doesn't work that way. Your self-esteem will rise when people start treating you and respecting you better. Losing the weight will get people to treat you kindly.
And sometimes, having a hard tough attitude will help. It's a self-defense mechanism, but if you're mean to people who are mean to you, then those people will think twice before being mean to you. So my advice is to learn how to act like a bitch. You won't be gaining friends that way, but people will think twice before messing with you.
Thank You...so erm, how do i act like a bitch? cos i am too nice :(
And yeah i don't feel highly of myself at all!

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#19
Feb 16, 2010
 
R0utin3Ri0t wrote:
<quoted text>
If that's what you think. Two, three, or even four years from now, you will think differently about this whole thing about love.
Until then you should decide what you need to do about the situation, us strangers don't know anything about you or the guy, so only you know whats best.


Ok love changes and evoles with age. i knew i was in love when i was 16 lol then i turned 17 and was like wtf was i think. lol ever since i put way higher standards on who i say i love.

“Calmness: The cradle of power”

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#21
Feb 16, 2010
 
lady_luck wrote:
^^^^ yea agree im not sayin he is a bully but those are some jerk moves he's pulling. in order to put a jerk in his place is to out jerk him. no one is perfect and if been around him long enough u know what hurts him. girl, get with it if u want him to stop dont tell him how you feel show him.
How do i jerk him out?

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