We are losing real men and it's sad :(
Amelia Sugar COCAINE

Castle Rock, CO

#101 Jun 24, 2013
Lol @ The OP smh.

“Yes WE Can! Yes we Will!”

Level 8

Since: Jul 07

Baltimore, Md.

#102 Jun 24, 2013
Shalimarr wrote:
<quoted text>
Black Men are stupid.
The man leads the race and the black race is at the bottom, because the Black male was unable to compete with men from other races. The Arab and white males enslaved and sold black people,because they were cleverer than the black man.
That's the problem,black man are stupid and white men (and women) find them easy to manipulate and use.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =dxKR3_xruUkXX
Imagine Shalimaar, of all people, calling anyone stupid. LOL!
Hey, you ever read a book or focus on anything besides YouTube clips? Try studying some history. And keep your racism to yourself.

Level 8

Since: Aug 09

Saint Louis, MO

#103 Jun 24, 2013
Mint cookies wrote:
Marriage sucks and its played out..time to have fun!!! Life is full of fun guys and gals lets live it up to the end...party like a rockstar because once this life ends it ends for good.Stop being so serious people lighten up!!! Blk people stop being so against each other..and luv one another.Ok?jeez!!!
Yeah. Don't even think about so many of our kids growing up as bastards. Heck. Don't even think about kids or other humans at all. Just be self-centered bums and scumbags. Take everything and give nothing back. Keep it all for yourself 'cause when you reach the Pearly Gats, you might have to buy a ticket to get in. You will need everything you can take for yourself.

Level 8

Since: Aug 09

Saint Louis, MO

#104 Jun 24, 2013
Savant wrote:
<quoted text>Imagine Shalimaar, of all people, calling anyone stupid. LOL!
Hey, you ever read a book or focus on anything besides YouTube clips? Try studying some history. And keep your racism to yourself.
Take your own advice.

Level 7

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#105 Jun 24, 2013
brownskin_beauty wrote:
Well it's already hard enough to know there aren't enough black men to go around seeing that we outnumber them by 2 million excluding the ones incarcerated, gay, or the ones that are against monogamy. I am not at all trying to start nothing negative, but it saddens me to see the type of society we have become. I mean we have become desensitized the violence against women. We are more open to allowing men to be submissive, and we are just a society favoring equality, but almost in a communistic way. I know maybe people thinks its old fashion, but I want a man who wants to wear the pants, who sees a man even speak vile to a women and will be ready to put him in the gutter, a gentlemen, and a great example to young black men, since there seem to be a lacking of that in the community. I want him to involve himself in bettering others, maybe know how to fix things around the house, be reasonable, but stern. I want him to be the epitome of a real man, not on the DL or abusive, or submissive is that too much to ask for
Your analysis is rather sobering, but reasonably close to being quantitatively accurate. And though there are many variables that are a part of the CAUSE/EFFECT dynamic of contemporary black male/female relationship, one thing resonates with me rather poignantly: All men understand on a very basic, fundamental level, that if there is a women he is drawn to or desirous of making his women; he must morph within a reasonable facsimile of what his feminine object of his affections desires in a man.

He understands that some alterations to his previous and existing paradigm may and will be necessary in order to ensure HER happiness and that the collective IDEOLOGY of masculinity will not suffice to achieve this end; so he will have to see and deal with her as an individual, not merely as a representative of the feminine collective.

From where I stand: Contemporary black women fail to understand this. They seem to be all suffused with the ideological poison of feminism, individuality, huber paranoia of being subjugated and taken advantage of by men and this unrealistic expectation that black men owe them their autonomy and sovereignty without their having to demonstrating merit.

If, in these perilous "LEGAL" times for men with the bias judicial system working to transfer wealth form men to women, so that these resources can be plied back into the economy, a man has to have a overwhelming convincing reason to even set up shop with a woman, let along marry her. Particularly in light of all the horror stories we hear of men lives being ruined and destroyed after only two years of marriage before she decides, "thanks, but no thanks, but I'll take half of the gross anyways."

So, it does boil down to what you possess and are willing to offer him by way of recompense. And if the effort is not worth it on your part when you meet this WORTHY guy, then it won't be worth it to him.

Level 8

Since: Aug 09

Saint Louis, MO

#106 Jun 24, 2013
Cogito2 wrote:
<quoted text>
Your analysis is rather sobering, but reasonably close to being quantitatively accurate. And though there are many variables that are a part of the CAUSE/EFFECT dynamic of contemporary black male/female relationship, one thing resonates with me rather poignantly: All men understand on a very basic, fundamental level, that if there is a women he is drawn to or desirous of making his women; he must morph within a reasonable facsimile of what his feminine object of his affections desires in a man.
He understands that some alterations to his previous and existing paradigm may and will be necessary in order to ensure HER happiness and that the collective IDEOLOGY of masculinity will not suffice to achieve this end; so he will have to see and deal with her as an individual, not merely as a representative of the feminine collective.
From where I stand: Contemporary black women fail to understand this. They seem to be all suffused with the ideological poison of feminism, individuality, huber paranoia of being subjugated and taken advantage of by men and this unrealistic expectation that black men owe them their autonomy and sovereignty without their having to demonstrating merit.
If, in these perilous "LEGAL" times for men with the bias judicial system working to transfer wealth form men to women, so that these resources can be plied back into the economy, a man has to have a overwhelming convincing reason to even set up shop with a woman, let along marry her. Particularly in light of all the horror stories we hear of men lives being ruined and destroyed after only two years of marriage before she decides, "thanks, but no thanks, but I'll take half of the gross anyways."
So, it does boil down to what you possess and are willing to offer him by way of recompense. And if the effort is not worth it on your part when you meet this WORTHY guy, then it won't be worth it to him.
Thank you. People need to stop thinking a brother needs to allow a woman to ruin his life when he has no chance of getting anything in return. My advice to every brother is to select the best possible woman available to you without any regards whatsoever to skin color. Islam is color blind.

“Obsidian Princess”

Level 8

Since: Sep 09

louisiana

#107 Jun 24, 2013
Abdurratln wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank you. People need to stop thinking a brother needs to allow a woman to ruin his life when he has no chance of getting anything in return. My advice to every brother is to select the best possible woman available to you without any regards whatsoever to skin color. Islam is color blind.
foolishness. if you want your people to survive, you encourage them to cohabitate with their own. its not even natural to consider another before your own or. a lot of blk men blk women problems are imagined...there are too many women to one man among our people for blk men to ever feel they don't have great options. they do. they just need to open their hearts to these options.

and why you always mentioning islam,? we are not muslims as a group of people nor do we care to adhere to your muslim laws.

“Obsidian Princess”

Level 8

Since: Sep 09

louisiana

#108 Jun 24, 2013
Abdurratln wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank you. People need to stop thinking a brother needs to allow a woman to ruin his life when he has no chance of getting anything in return. My advice to every brother is to select the best possible woman available to you without any regards whatsoever to skin color. Islam is color blind.
and why you always worried about us? your not our people. your family is a mixed mutt family and you want to advocate this madness to our people. fk you.

we have our issues and sometimes I want to choke a number of our men and women too but we are the best we have for each other. so get off your soap box and take an enema.

Level 7

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#109 Jun 24, 2013
dragonpat wrote:
<quoted text>
foolishness. if you want your people to survive, you encourage them to cohabitate with their own. its not even natural to consider another before your own or. a lot of blk men blk women problems are imagined...there are too many women to one man among our people for blk men to ever feel they don't have great options. they do. they just need to open their hearts to these options.
and why you always mentioning islam,? we are not muslims as a group of people nor do we care to adhere to your muslim laws.
But come on DP, though I am a life time advocate and practitioner of black love (personal choice), quantitative disparity does not translate into a qualitative abundance. Your position presupposes that black men's abundance in options are qualitatively GREAT and that they universally meet the standards of all QUALITY black men, but I beg to differ. Also, I would never presume to tell a sister what her standards should be; only that her expectations must not be disproportionate to that which she expects or demands from a man.

Level 8

Since: Aug 09

Saint Louis, MO

#110 Jun 24, 2013
dragonpat wrote:
<quoted text>
foolishness. if you want your people to survive, you encourage them to cohabitate with their own. its not even natural to consider another before your own or. a lot of blk men blk women problems are imagined...there are too many women to one man among our people for blk men to ever feel they don't have great options. they do. they just need to open their hearts to these options.
and why you always mentioning islam,? we are not muslims as a group of people nor do we care to adhere to your muslim laws.
I mention Islam because this is not about quantity. It is not about how many women of any particular group are available. The fact is there are many women, but most of them are not qualified or not available for whatever reasons. People know this. Yet they laugh at me because every time I find a woman I want, they manage to somehow break up my relationships. It is not about skin color. My last girl was as black as my keyboard. But she was a Muslim. People did not want me to have her because she was so lovely. Plus, she was clean and moral. She always wore Hijab and did not expose herself running around half-naked. She was strict Muslimah as are most Muslims from Africa.

But she was an African. So people were jealous. Plus, she was quality. It was not about race at all. It was not about skin color. They wanted her to be seen in public talking to a white guy so they would not look so bad. So, do they think I will stoop to their level just because they are black and because there are5 to 1 women to men? it does not work that way.

First of all, this is not a matter of choice. Islam is color blind. If I decide to focus on skin color as if it is a fetish, that would violate my religion. Any woman who wants to be with me MUST become a Muslimah. This is not negotiable and cannot be changed. This is Islamic Law.

Islamic Law allows for any skin color and just about any other religion. But the rule of thumb is QUALITY. Islam does not compromise on quality. For example, if a Christian black woman wants to marry a Muslim, she MUST BE chaste. If she is an h-word, she cannot join the Muslim Community. The Imam will not allow a Muslim to marry her. Plus, the sisters will smell her a mile away and kick her out of the Community. End of story.

A few years back the rich Arabs started to bring home to mama blonde headed, blue eyed white girls. We the girls got to Arabia, the Arab sisters figured out that they were low life h-words. The sisters kicked them out of town and sent them back to America. The moral of the story is this: if you are sexually immoral, you had better figure out to pretend to be sexually moral if you want to join the Muslim Community. And that is what you must do in order to marry a Muslim.

Most Christians think we will bend the rules in order to accommodate their sexual immorality. They base that opinion on what they see in the Nation of Islam. But I am talking about the Muslim Community at large, not the NOI.

Nearly every black woman in America could find a decent husband if they did one thing: clean themselves up and become Muslimahs. Muslims would marry them. But they are too sorryassssed, lazy and trifling to do that. And that is why we as Muslims will not have them. Period.

Level 7

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#111 Jun 24, 2013
brownskin_beauty wrote:
Well it's already hard enough to know there aren't enough black men to go around seeing that we outnumber them by 2 million excluding the ones incarcerated, gay, or the ones that are against monogamy. I am not at all trying to start nothing negative, but it saddens me to see the type of society we have become. I mean we have become desensitized the violence against women. We are more open to allowing men to be submissive, and we are just a society favoring equality, but almost in a communistic way. I know maybe people thinks its old fashion, but I want a man who wants to wear the pants, who sees a man even speak vile to a women and will be ready to put him in the gutter, a gentlemen, and a great example to young black men, since there seem to be a lacking of that in the community. I want him to involve himself in bettering others, maybe know how to fix things around the house, be reasonable, but stern. I want him to be the epitome of a real man, not on the DL or abusive, or submissive is that too much to ask for
Also, I neglected to state that the very fact that you are make this query is a positive thing; for one can not solve a problem until one can first define it. Most of us are content to intransigently dig our heels in and exchange recriminations for another fifty years or so, until black AMERICAN) love is but a distant historical memory told on the front porches by grandmothers talking about the old days.

And also you are entitled to have and maintain a standard insofar as the man you want to share your life with, but honestly inventory those things which you will contribute that will embellish his happiness and and quality of life. There has to be a motivating reason for both you and he to do it.

“Obsidian Princess”

Level 8

Since: Sep 09

louisiana

#112 Jun 24, 2013
Cogito2 wrote:
<quoted text>
But come on DP, though I am a life time advocate and practitioner of black love (personal choice), quantitative disparity does not translate into a qualitative abundance. Your position presupposes that black men's abundance in options are qualitatively GREAT and that they universally meet the standards of all QUALITY black men, but I beg to differ. Also, I would never presume to tell a sister what her standards should be; only that her expectations must not be disproportionate to that which she expects or demands from a man.
I simply stated there were many great options among their own women. I wasn't saying there were all great options.

whats this about blk men trying to compare himself to women? whats up with that?

Level 8

Since: Aug 09

Saint Louis, MO

#113 Jun 24, 2013
Cogito2 wrote:
<quoted text>
But come on DP, though I am a life time advocate and practitioner of black love (personal choice), quantitative disparity does not translate into a qualitative abundance. Your position presupposes that black men's abundance in options are qualitatively GREAT and that they universally meet the standards of all QUALITY black men, but I beg to differ. Also, I would never presume to tell a sister what her standards should be; only that her expectations must not be disproportionate to that which she expects or demands from a man.
They MUST BECOME Muslimahs. Let me dumb it down some.

To became a Muslim, all one has to do is say with conviction and in public the following:

"I testify that there no Deity worthy of worship but Allah and Only Alah.

"I testify that Muhammad is an Apostle and Messenger of Allah."

When a person does that, all of his/her previous sins are forgiven. She/he becomes as clean and as pure as white snow. I do not care if she is like Lil Kim who performed so much oral sex one night she had to go to the hospital and have her stomach pumped out, she becomes chaste and clean. And a Muslim man would marry her. There would be no single black women anywhere in America. They would all be snatched up in a matter of a couple of weeks.

Instead of repenting their their sexual immorality, they come to this forum and complain. I do not give a hoot about anyone who is that dumb and that stupid.

“Obsidian Princess”

Level 8

Since: Sep 09

louisiana

#114 Jun 24, 2013
Abdurratln wrote:
<quoted text>
I mention Islam because this is not about quantity. It is not about how many women of any particular group are available. The fact is there are many women, but most of them are not qualified or not available for whatever reasons. People know this. Yet they laugh at me because every time I find a woman I want, they manage to somehow break up my relationships. It is not about skin color. My last girl was as black as my keyboard. But she was a Muslim. People did not want me to have her because she was so lovely. Plus, she was clean and moral. She always wore Hijab and did not expose herself running around half-naked. She was strict Muslimah as are most Muslims from Africa.
But she was an African. So people were jealous. Plus, she was quality. It was not about race at all. It was not about skin color. They wanted her to be seen in public talking to a white guy so they would not look so bad. So, do they think I will stoop to their level just because they are black and because there are5 to 1 women to men? it does not work that way.
First of all, this is not a matter of choice. Islam is color blind. If I decide to focus on skin color as if it is a fetish, that would violate my religion. Any woman who wants to be with me MUST become a Muslimah. This is not negotiable and cannot be changed. This is Islamic Law.
Islamic Law allows for any skin color and just about any other religion. But the rule of thumb is QUALITY. Islam does not compromise on quality. For example, if a Christian black woman wants to marry a Muslim, she MUST BE chaste. If she is an h-word, she cannot join the Muslim Community. The Imam will not allow a Muslim to marry her. Plus, the sisters will smell her a mile away and kick her out of the Community. End of story.
A few years back the rich Arabs started to bring home to mama blonde headed, blue eyed white girls. We the girls got to Arabia, the Arab sisters figured out that they were low life h-words. The sisters kicked them out of town and sent them back to America. The moral of the story is this: if you are sexually immoral, you had better figure out to pretend to be sexually moral if you want to join the Muslim Community. And that is what you must do in order to marry a Muslim.
Most Christians think we will bend the rules in order to accommodate their sexual immorality. They base that opinion on what they see in the Nation of Islam. But I am talking about the Muslim Community at large, not the NOI.
Nearly every black woman in America could find a decent husband if they did one thing: clean themselves up and become Muslimahs. Muslims would marry them. But they are too sorryassssed, lazy and trifling to do that. And that is why we as Muslims will not have them. Period.
we don't care about your muslim community, women, men, Koran or whatever. what about that you just can't seem to overstand?

Level 8

Since: Aug 09

Saint Louis, MO

#115 Jun 24, 2013
dragonpat wrote:
<quoted text>
we don't care about your muslim community, women, men, Koran or whatever. what about that you just can't seem to overstand?
And I do not care about your sexually immoral and stupidassssses. So stop throwing it in my face.

Level 7

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#116 Jun 24, 2013
dragonpat wrote:
<quoted text>
I simply stated there were many great options among their own women. I wasn't saying there were all great options.
whats this about blk men trying to compare himself to women? whats up with that?
How is expecting or demanding "quality and sacrifices" in return for "quality and sacrifices" comparing himself to women? This is a unilateral consideration that both man and women should make and has nothing to do with comparing oneself to women.

All men of quality know that once you are in this THANG that most considerations and benefits will preponderantly flow in her direction, particularly once there are kids; so he'd better do his due diligence before hand to establish that she will remember that his needs and wants are important as well. Are we wrong for trying to make the best deal for ourselves in this regard?

Level 7

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#117 Jun 24, 2013
Abdurratln wrote:
<quoted text>
They MUST BECOME Muslimahs. Let me dumb it down some.
To became a Muslim, all one has to do is say with conviction and in public the following:
"I testify that there no Deity worthy of worship but Allah and Only Alah.
"I testify that Muhammad is an Apostle and Messenger of Allah."
When a person does that, all of his/her previous sins are forgiven. She/he becomes as clean and as pure as white snow. I do not care if she is like Lil Kim who performed so much oral sex one night she had to go to the hospital and have her stomach pumped out, she becomes chaste and clean. And a Muslim man would marry her. There would be no single black women anywhere in America. They would all be snatched up in a matter of a couple of weeks.
Instead of repenting their their sexual immorality, they come to this forum and complain. I do not give a hoot about anyone who is that dumb and that stupid.
No need to dumb it down for me, however, I subscribe to no religious theology nor do I believe basic morality and humanity is the exclusive province of any organized belief system. However, if one needs Christianity or Islam as a guiding light to find that which already reposes itself within them.....then so be it. But others may know and possess these moral and human requisites without their guiding hands.

Level 8

Since: Aug 09

Saint Louis, MO

#118 Jun 24, 2013
Cogito2 wrote:
<quoted text>
No need to dumb it down for me, however, I subscribe to no religious theology nor do I believe basic morality and humanity is the exclusive province of any organized belief system. However, if one needs Christianity or Islam as a guiding light to find that which already reposes itself within them.....then so be it. But others may know and possess these moral and human requisites without their guiding hands.
All I am saying is that anyone who wants to marry a Muslim must also become a Muslim. Why is that so hard to understand? People need to know this so that they will stop interfering when they see two Muslims together. Breaking them will not help solve anybody else's problems. If one Muslim is white and the other is black, do not think that if you break them up you can her man. It does not work that way and people need to start understanding. I am tired of suffering this kind of abuse and not saying anything about it.

Level 7

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#119 Jun 24, 2013
Abdurratln wrote:
<quoted text>
All I am saying is that anyone who wants to marry a Muslim must also become a Muslim. Why is that so hard to understand? People need to know this so that they will stop interfering when they see two Muslims together. Breaking them will not help solve anybody else's problems. If one Muslim is white and the other is black, do not think that if you break them up you can her man. It does not work that way and people need to start understanding. I am tired of suffering this kind of abuse and not saying anything about it.
Admittingly, the operational speed of my brain sometimes adversely impacts my comprehension, but that is not difficult to understand at all. In fact, I couldn't imagine a devote follower of Islam being with any woman of dissimilar beliefs. So, no problems from me on that one.

On a slightly different note, were you ever a poster on the old BlackVoices back in the day? You remind me of another brother who embraced your faith who posted there.
Chakotay

AOL

#120 Jun 24, 2013
Shalimarr wrote:
<quoted text>
Black Men are stupid.
The man leads the race and the black race is at the bottom, because the Black male was unable to compete with men from other races. The Arab and white males enslaved and sold black people,because they were cleverer than the black man.
That's the problem,black man are stupid and white men (and women) find them easy to manipulate and use.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =dxKR3_xruUkXX
Ive always thought that if black men would just leave all the weed and white women alone dat things would change in the hood foe the betta but the mofos wont change they behaviour.

black women have a hard time wit black men and it seems to be getting worse

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