why do black women relax little girls...

why do black women relax little girls' hair??

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“love is color blind”

Since: Jul 08

Saint Petersburg, FL

#1 Aug 6, 2008
this really disturbs me. i see a little girl on t.v. right now,and her edges are completely GONE!!this little girl can't be no older than 5 or 6. now she's gonna grow up and be getting cracked on because cause her mom chose to relax her hair at such a young age.or maybe weaves tore it out,i know that can be a cause of missing edges as well. in my opinion,moms should wait and let the girls decide if they want to relax their hair or not. UUGH!! this really irks me,poor child.
Kunami

Youngstown, OH

#2 Aug 6, 2008
As a (young) black man who hates 'black'-hate in black women, and loves natural women, this appauls me.

Why teach your children to spread the disease of self-hate?

Yes, Stringier hair is easier to work, that's fine, but never nag or rant a child about the hair that God gave 'em.
Kunami

Youngstown, OH

#3 Aug 6, 2008
^By "natural" I mean natural hair.

“UNDERSTAND the MESSAGE”

Since: Jul 07

AOL

#4 Aug 6, 2008
nappy neffie wrote:
this really disturbs me. i see a little girl on t.v. right now,and her edges are completely GONE!!this little girl can't be no older than 5 or 6. now she's gonna grow up and be getting cracked on because cause her mom chose to relax her hair at such a young age.or maybe weaves tore it out,i know that can be a cause of missing edges as well. in my opinion,moms should wait and let the girls decide if they want to relax their hair or not. UUGH!! this really irks me,poor child.
I've been saying the same thing for years. I've suggested that something seemingly as benign as relaxing a girls hair perpetuate a self-hatred in black children. It destroys the self-esteem of black girls and removes all respect of them in the minds of black boys. But if you ask those women, they will blame it on rap music and the lack of a father.

“UNDERSTAND the MESSAGE”

Since: Jul 07

AOL

#5 Aug 6, 2008
Kunami wrote:
As a (young) black man who hates 'black'-hate in black women, and loves natural women, this appauls me.
Why teach your children to spread the disease of self-hate?
Yes, Stringier hair is easier to work, that's fine, but never nag or rant a child about the hair that God gave 'em.
Many women have told me the same thing. Relaxed hair is easier to manage. Since i know they have no tolerance for black men who date interracial, i've stated with much sarcasm that perhaps that is why black men date white women. Because ww are easier to manage than bw.

“Engaged :)”

Since: Aug 07

UK

#6 Aug 6, 2008
i dunno, maybe cos its quick.

“angel”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#7 Aug 6, 2008
I think that some women rush to put relaxers in their daughter's hair because they don't know how to manage it. This comes from lack of knowledge about our own hair and the products that we should be using in it. It seems like an easy solution, but relaxed hair is just as hard if not harder to maintain than natural hair. I just had a long talk with my 11 year old cousin about her hair and I was trying to convince her to tell her mother not to put another one in here hair.
Im not saying that there is anything wrong with relaxers, to each their own, but they are NOT for children. Just as weaves, and hair dye are not for children either.
I find that a lot of women who use relaxers don't even need them. I also noticed that a lot of black women OVER PROCESS their hair, which leads to breakage, dry scalp and tons of other nuisances.
Teyanna

AOL

#8 Aug 6, 2008
C Mitchell wrote:
<quoted text>
I've been saying the same thing for years. I've suggested that something seemingly as benign as relaxing a girls hair perpetuate a self-hatred in black children. It destroys the self-esteem of black girls and removes all respect of them in the minds of black boys. But if you ask those women, they will blame it on rap music and the lack of a father.


I have 2 girls and a boy. My daughters are 15, and 17, and my son is 12. I never relaxed my girls hair when they were small. I sometimes styled it in a cute afro puff ponytail on top of their heads, or when I had the time, I would braid it. Once they got to be around 12 or 13 and were entering middle school, they started asking me to buy them ceramic irons to manage their hair, b/c they wanted it sleeker. And also b/c that is the style their friends were wearing. I had no problem with it, b/c by then, they were at an age where I had to allow them some freedom and self expression on how they want to look. You can trust me on one thing, and that is that they are not lacking in self confidence in any way, shape, or form. So many black males have no understanding of what it is like to be female, and to feel the need to follow the trends and styles. My son has had it easier b/c all he has ever needed to do is keep his hair short and neat. If had to wear it longer, and spend more time maintaining it, like his sisters have to do, he would not like it one bit. There is just more pressure for females of all backgrounds to keep themselves up more. When my oldest girl reaches 18 next year, she will have even more freedom to do what she wants with her hair, even if that means wearing a weave. At that point, she does not need to answer to me, or ANYBODY on how she wants to look.

“Real Black Men Speak English”

Level 4

Since: May 07

Bmore

#9 Aug 6, 2008
nappy neffie wrote:
this really disturbs me. i see a little girl on t.v. right now,and her edges are completely GONE!!this little girl can't be no older than 5 or 6. now she's gonna grow up and be getting cracked on because cause her mom chose to relax her hair at such a young age.or maybe weaves tore it out,i know that can be a cause of missing edges as well. in my opinion,moms should wait and let the girls decide if they want to relax their hair or not. UUGH!! this really irks me,poor child.
She's going to grow up looking gorgeous and knowing how to take care of her hair without weave

Level 2

Since: Jul 07

Jamaica Queens, New York

#10 Aug 6, 2008
I seen something that was funny as well once. Some may not think its funny because its kind of sad but still, me and my friends were giggling to each other. I have a friend and we went to her other friend's house and she had a three year old daughter. From a distance we said the little girl had pretty hair. When we got upclose, the little girl had a perm and a bad weave put in her hair. It was glued in and she already had no edges. We was like god damn, she couldn't put some bo-bo's in the child's hair instead of a glued in weave? We were laughing because it wasen't even a nice weave, it was all messed up and we were shocked that someone would do that to their kid.

Level 2

Since: Jul 07

Jamaica Queens, New York

#11 Aug 6, 2008
BOSSY wrote:
I think that some women rush to put relaxers in their daughter's hair because they don't know how to manage it. This comes from lack of knowledge about our own hair and the products that we should be using in it. It seems like an easy solution, but relaxed hair is just as hard if not harder to maintain than natural hair. I just had a long talk with my 11 year old cousin about her hair and I was trying to convince her to tell her mother not to put another one in here hair.
Im not saying that there is anything wrong with relaxers, to each their own, but they are NOT for children. Just as weaves, and hair dye are not for children either.
I find that a lot of women who use relaxers don't even need them. I also noticed that a lot of black women OVER PROCESS their hair, which leads to breakage, dry scalp and tons of other nuisances.
I can't agree. I think this is true for grown sisters who don't know how to manage their hair but not kids. How hard is it to slap a pony tail in the child's hair, some braids or some bo-bo's or something? I think they are doing it because they are acting like the little girl is a doll and not a person.

“In the Space Love Demands”

Since: Oct 07

Black Love USA

#12 Aug 6, 2008
Conscience Sister wrote:
I seen something that was funny as well once. Some may not think its funny because its kind of sad but still, me and my friends were giggling to each other. I have a friend and we went to her other friend's house and she had a three year old daughter. From a distance we said the little girl had pretty hair. When we got upclose, the little girl had a perm and a bad weave put in her hair. It was glued in and she already had no edges. We was like god damn, she couldn't put some bo-bo's in the child's hair instead of a glued in weave? We were laughing because it wasen't even a nice weave, it was all messed up and we were shocked that someone would do that to their kid.
Hey girl! HOw are you?
That is a mess. Poor little girl...she has the rest of her life to get a bad weave but mama already started her on the path to a bad one!....:(

“angel”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#13 Aug 6, 2008
Conscience Sister wrote:
<quoted text>I can't agree. I think this is true for grown sisters who don't know how to manage their hair but not kids. How hard is it to slap a pony tail in the child's hair, some braids or some bo-bo's or something? I think they are doing it because they are acting like the little girl is a doll and not a person.
Did you read my entire post? I said that they are not for children.

“Selah”

Level 1

Since: Aug 07

Suwanee, GA

#14 Aug 6, 2008
This a great site for natural products if you choose to wear a perm. I'm not going to perm my daughters hair. I want her hair to stay strong. But I think it is a personal choice and its made for many different reasons.

www.treasuredlocks.com/ - 80k

“In the Space Love Demands”

Since: Oct 07

Black Love USA

#15 Aug 6, 2008
nappy neffie wrote:
this really disturbs me. i see a little girl on t.v. right now,and her edges are completely GONE!!this little girl can't be no older than 5 or 6. now she's gonna grow up and be getting cracked on because cause her mom chose to relax her hair at such a young age.or maybe weaves tore it out,i know that can be a cause of missing edges as well. in my opinion,moms should wait and let the girls decide if they want to relax their hair or not. UUGH!! this really irks me,poor child.
I know...and they probably won't be able to afford a hair transplant for her to get those follicles back...

Hopefully, she will be able to grow it back. You never know...i have seen a few moms do this and because the kid was young enough they were able to grow it back...youth is pretty amazing...

They said our daughter would not have full size lungs and hers GREW and she is completely normal.

“In the Space Love Demands”

Since: Oct 07

Black Love USA

#16 Aug 6, 2008
Kunami wrote:
As a (young) black man who hates 'black'-hate in black women, and loves natural women, this appauls me.
Why teach your children to spread the disease of self-hate?
Yes, Stringier hair is easier to work, that's fine, but never nag or rant a child about the hair that God gave 'em.
Hey. You know, a lot of these women never ask the question "why should I change the hair I was born with?" or wonder why there is something wrong with it supposedly.

What i am saying is that they don't KNOW they are feeding the beast.

But it is expediency...relaxing is easier than combing endlessly through hair and taking lots of time with it.

“In the Space Love Demands”

Since: Oct 07

Black Love USA

#17 Aug 6, 2008
C Mitchell wrote:
<quoted text>
Many women have told me the same thing. Relaxed hair is easier to manage. Since i know they have no tolerance for black men who date interracial, i've stated with much sarcasm that perhaps that is why black men date white women. Because ww are easier to manage than bw.
Uh...Oh...Kay...

Wow.

I don't relax my daughter's hair and I don't intend to ever do it...

But let me say that it is time consuming combing the hair, plaiting or twisting it, making Afro puffs, or whatever...

And if you have to do this every night and every morning, it can be very exhausting. Particularly if you have to do two heads or more.

I have to do my hair and my daughter's hair every night and every morning. But I have been getting relaxers for a long time and I get them every 4 months.

As for the White women are easier to manage crack, well, sir it is unwarranted.

Women don't want to be "managed", as you know, and it is not something we wish to hear, even in chastisement.

Please accept this is a difference in opinion.

And many more of us ARE going natural.

“the answer to 1984 is 1776”

Level 1

Since: Jan 08

cali girl born & raised

#18 Aug 6, 2008
i used to know a chick who used to relax her child's hair. the kid was like 4.

she told me she did it because it was hard to handle.

but i don't condone chemicals to straighten hair.

i do blowdry and flatiron my hair. but i'd never put a weave in a 7 year old's head (yeah i know a b*tch who did that too) or a perm in a 4 year old.

they even make little kid relaxers. i can't remember the name but it's marketed towards kids.

i won't say it's self hating.

that f*cking word is used too damn much.

it's ignorance to tending to natural hair.

my natural hair texture is hard to manage. it's wavy and it gets frizzy and sh*t, but i never use chemicals on it.

everyone's hair has various problems.

some white folks have hair that's all stringy and can get oily or limp. so they need to volumize. some white people have curly hair like my best friend and i've literally ironed her hair on an ironing board with a literal iron... lol

some black people have tightly coiled and highly textured hair and they don't know how to take care of it either.

healthy hair is easy to manage.

people just need to learn to work with what goddess gave them.

“In the Space Love Demands”

Since: Oct 07

Black Love USA

#19 Aug 6, 2008
BOSSY wrote:
I think that some women rush to put relaxers in their daughter's hair because they don't know how to manage it. This comes from lack of knowledge about our own hair and the products that we should be using in it. It seems like an easy solution, but relaxed hair is just as hard if not harder to maintain than natural hair. I just had a long talk with my 11 year old cousin about her hair and I was trying to convince her to tell her mother not to put another one in here hair.
Im not saying that there is anything wrong with relaxers, to each their own, but they are NOT for children. Just as weaves, and hair dye are not for children either.
I find that a lot of women who use relaxers don't even need them. I also noticed that a lot of black women OVER PROCESS their hair, which leads to breakage, dry scalp and tons of other nuisances.
Hello lady! How are you doing ?
I totally agree!

My daughter's hair is extra strong. It is completely natural. Now it is a task combing and styling and washing and conditioning through that long, extra thick hair, but she is not subject to the dryness and breakage that relaxers give.

Hair has to be taken care of, very carefully, no matter how it is styled.

“In the Space Love Demands”

Since: Oct 07

Black Love USA

#20 Aug 6, 2008
LaTasha wrote:
This a great site for natural products if you choose to wear a perm. I'm not going to perm my daughters hair. I want her hair to stay strong. But I think it is a personal choice and its made for many different reasons.
www.treasuredlocks.com/ - 80k
Hello Ms. Lady!
I buy the Protective Mist Bodifier, for daily moisturizing, from Treasuredlocks.com .

Also, they sell the Kakakiki comb, which was engineered by a Black man, and it is EXCELLENT for combing through natural hair, even tangly, relaxed hair.

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