Good men need to approach women.....

Good men need to approach women.....

Posted in the African-American Forum

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tman

United States

#1 Jun 15, 2009
I see a lot of men complaining about women not wanting good guys, but the truth is that good guys are not approaching women...The "bad" guys are going for what they want while "good" guys sit back and complain....

General tips for approach...

1. Have confidence when approaching women, women like confidence.

2. Do not worry about rejection, its apart of approaching.

3. Be direct...No pick up lines please...

....So good guys stop complaining and more approaching...

Posters feel free to add....
samizdat literature

Staten Island, NY

#2 Jun 15, 2009
tman wrote:
I see a lot of men complaining about women not wanting good guys, but the truth is that good guys are not approaching women...The "bad" guys are going for what they want while "good" guys sit back and complain....
General tips for approach...
1. Have confidence when approaching women, women like confidence.
2. Do not worry about rejection, its apart of approaching.
3. Be direct...No pick up lines please...
....So good guys stop complaining and more approaching...
Posters feel free to add....
Playing devil's advocate here...

I often hear women being the most "vocal" about the lack of "good men" being available to them. That being said, why can't they take the initiative to seek out and "approach" what it is that they want instead of expecting it to fall into their laps?

Mack the Great

Since: May 07

Accokeek, MD

#3 Jun 15, 2009
I agree 100% bro, but the problem is there are some good men out there that won't approach unless a woman gives them clear signs of interests.Women have this tendency to assume that good men can read their minds when we can't.That, and we good men have reasonable non-superficial standards in our ideal woman and may not bother to approach a woman if she's not up to a few of them.

Since: Nov 08

Ontario, Canada

#4 Jun 15, 2009
good guys are scared to approach women because they want to perfectly charm their way into a woman's heart without exhibiting any flaws and ensuring they dont upset her in any way......but you know how women are......being naturally intimidated creatures that they are.....they'll consider a nice guy as being a creep just because he's nice and they start to wonder why he's so nice.....it's mysterious to them.....uh ladies has it ever occured to you that maybe he was raised to be humble and respectful.....they'll intentionally find a flaw within you just so they can demasculate you and gain the cheerful support from her friends for doing so......they acquire a sense of pride and pleasure from doing that.
tman

United States

#5 Jun 15, 2009
samizdat literature wrote:
<quoted text>
Playing devil's advocate here...
I often hear women being the most "vocal" about the lack of "good men" being available to them. That being said, why can't they take the initiative to seek out and "approach" what it is that they want instead of expecting it to fall into their laps?
Interesting point...I think it could work that way, but for me personally, I would like to do the approaching....but you have a point...I just feel that good men should take more authority in what they want in life...

Two types of people in the world...The go getters and everybody else.....
tman

United States

#6 Jun 15, 2009
Mack the Great wrote:
I agree 100% bro, but the problem is there are some good men out there that won't approach unless a woman gives them clear signs of interests.Women have this tendency to assume that good men can read their minds when we can't.That, and we good men have reasonable non-superficial standards in our ideal woman and may not bother to approach a woman if she's not up to a few of them.
Great Post !! But see men should not wait for signs...Its okay to be a risk taker, those are the people who are successful in life...Sometimes women don't show signs because they themselves do not want to take the risk of putting themselves out there and men overlooking them...Men and women should get out their comfort zones and start approaching and attracting...

Remember, just because a woman walks by and not look at you doesn't mean she is not interested....There could be multiple reasons for her not looking, which could be good or bad...
tman

United States

#7 Jun 15, 2009
konrad wrote:
good guys are scared to approach women because they want to perfectly charm their way into a woman's heart without exhibiting any flaws and ensuring they dont upset her in any way......but you know how women are......being naturally intimidated creatures that they are.....they'll consider a nice guy as being a creep just because he's nice and they start to wonder why he's so nice.....it's mysterious to them.....uh ladies has it ever occured to you that maybe he was raised to be humble and respectful.....they'll intentionally find a flaw within you just so they can demasculate you and gain the cheerful support from her friends for doing so......they acquire a sense of pride and pleasure from doing that.
Well, what you say makes a lot of sense, but I do not think women actually try to emasculate anybody, but women have their precautions about as well...
I think good guys expect to get women based on just on how good they are, but in reality women look for other things in men besides how good he is....And men are the same way...
samizdat literature

Staten Island, NY

#8 Jun 15, 2009
tman wrote:
<quoted text>
Interesting point...I think it could work that way, but for me personally, I would like to do the approaching....but you have a point...I just feel that good men should take more authority in what they want in life...
Two types of people in the world...The go getters and everybody else.....
I really have no problem approaching women--but I also don't mind being approached either, which has happened as well.

In this day and age, I think individuals of either gender should go out there and get what they want. I think what's more mind boggling if anything of disatisfied women is how they constantly complain about the lack of "good men" out there--but in reality they're only dating and sexing the men that approach them. If every guy that approaches you is a "dog", and your personal philosophy is to only date men who approach--then why get upset when you aren't getting what you want?

Since: Dec 08

Hollywood, FL

#9 Jun 15, 2009
tman wrote:
I see a lot of men complaining about women not wanting good guys, but the truth is that good guys are not approaching women...The "bad" guys are going for what they want while "good" guys sit back and complain....
General tips for approach...
1. Have confidence when approaching women, women like confidence.
2. Do not worry about rejection, its apart of approaching.
3. Be direct...No pick up lines please...
....So good guys stop complaining and more approaching...
Posters feel free to add....
What do you mean by been direct?, lol might take a few pointers

Since: Nov 08

Ontario, Canada

#10 Jun 15, 2009
tman wrote:
<quoted text>
Well, what you say makes a lot of sense, but I do not think women actually try to emasculate anybody, but women have their precautions about as well...
I think good guys expect to get women based on just on how good they are, but in reality women look for other things in men besides how good he is....And men are the same way...
what precautions do they have?......they have all the power.....they make the decision on who gets to be with em n who doesn't......they don't have any precautions......they just have standards. and unrealistic i might add.

Mack the Great

Since: May 07

Accokeek, MD

#11 Jun 15, 2009
tman wrote:
<quoted text>
Great Post !! But see men should not wait for signs...Its okay to be a risk taker, those are the people who are successful in life...Sometimes women don't show signs because they themselves do not want to take the risk of putting themselves out there and men overlooking them...Men and women should get out their comfort zones and start approaching and attracting...
Remember, just because a woman walks by and not look at you doesn't mean she is not interested....There could be multiple reasons for her not looking, which could be good or bad...
Yeah you're right about that.Men could be waitng along time for a woman that will show them signs of interests and they may have no other choice but to approach and risk the rejection.Better yet, women show signs all the time, it's just that we never pick up on the subtle ones like her maintaining eye contact with us, opening their legs up, and being attentive to what we have to say to them.I know a woman that doesn't give a man attention doesn't necessarily mean that she's not interested as she could have her reasons why, but another issue arises like the fact that she could be using reverse psychology on a man which could confuse them.When they do this, the man is tasked with the tough choice to risk treating the woman like crap in hopes that will win her interest over, or continue to be a nice and respectful guy and risk being put on her friends list forever.
tman

United States

#12 Jun 15, 2009
phins1989 wrote:
<quoted text>
What do you mean by been direct?, lol might take a few pointers
Keep it simple with basic conversation starters...No lines...

“Familiarize yourself”

Level 1

Since: Apr 09

Mother EARTH

#13 Jun 15, 2009
You have some guys that are very shy, scare of rejection, and scared of coming off as a jerk so to speak. What I suggest a guy to do is......

Act on the eyeball and drop
the shy, if she rejects you, at least you tried, take it as a lost and more on.

If a dude is checking me out and if I'm interested, I'll wave,
smile and say "hi", I don't expect men to do all the
work =]
tman

United States

#14 Jun 15, 2009
samizdat literature wrote:
<quoted text>
I really have no problem approaching women--but I also don't mind being approached either, which has happened as well.
In this day and age, I think individuals of either gender should go out there and get what they want. I think what's more mind boggling if anything of disatisfied women is how they constantly complain about the lack of "good men" out there--but in reality they're only dating and sexing the men that approach them. If every guy that approaches you is a "dog", and your personal philosophy is to only date men who approach--then why get upset when you aren't getting what you want?
Hey thats a great point and I have wondered the same thing...At the same, most good guys are taking the back seat while those "dogs" pursue all the women....If more good guys would approach then more good guys would have better luck with women....See its all about what you go get in life...

Now, I do not see nothing wrong with women approaching men at all, actually I agree, I do not mind being approached either.....But most guys do not get approached on the regular like some men.....Thats why every man should develop his personal technique for approaching...
tman

United States

#15 Jun 15, 2009
konrad wrote:
<quoted text>
what precautions do they have?......they have all the power.....they make the decision on who gets to be with em n who doesn't......they don't have any precautions......they just have standards. and unrealistic i might add.
True, but they do not realize that power though...Most women wait for guys to approach them, so even still if you never approach a woman, whats your chances of meeting a woman? slim
But if you start approaching then your chances increases....
tman

United States

#16 Jun 15, 2009
Mack the Great wrote:
<quoted text>
Yeah you're right about that.Men could be waitng along time for a woman that will show them signs of interests and they may have no other choice but to approach and risk the rejection.Better yet, women show signs all the time, it's just that we never pick up on the subtle ones like her maintaining eye contact with us, opening their legs up, and being attentive to what we have to say to them.I know a woman that doesn't give a man attention doesn't necessarily mean that she's not interested as she could have her reasons why, but another issue arises like the fact that she could be using reverse psychology on a man which could confuse them.When they do this, the man is tasked with the tough choice to risk treating the woman like crap in hopes that will win her interest over, or continue to be a nice and respectful guy and risk being put on her friends list forever.
You are right, reverse psychology is a problem, but remember you can do the same thing....The way you present yourself can deter any of that....Thats why you should be direct and tell her what you really want, no games....Be friendly, but tell her you want more than just friends...Honesty pays off well....

“Proud Black Woman!!!”

Since: Apr 09

NYC

#17 Jun 15, 2009
If a guy wants me he needs to approach me. I'm not going out of my way for a guy. If he won't step to me then he must not be interested.

Good men do approach me, but they are always in their 30s around my moms age. The dudes that are my age range are always hoodrats. You know, the BET types. Ew that's why I'm still single. It's either date my dad or oh hell jaw would I ever mess withsome ghetto piece of shit trash!!!!

I'm 18, I have time to get a bf.
tman

United States

#18 Jun 15, 2009
t0p n0tch wrote:
You have some guys that are very shy, scare of rejection, and scared of coming off as a jerk so to speak. What I suggest a guy to do is......
Act on the eyeball and drop
the shy, if she rejects you, at least you tried, take it as a lost and more on.
If a dude is checking me out and if I'm interested, I'll wave,
smile and say "hi", I don't expect men to do all the
work =]
Exactly, fear of rejection is what many men fear more than anything....What men need to realize is that women like for men to approach them and talk to them...Women look nice for men, men can make a woman's day by approaching her...

Even when rejection happens, remember it happens to all men who have ever approached women...

Since: Nov 08

Ontario, Canada

#19 Jun 15, 2009
tman wrote:
<quoted text>
True, but they do not realize that power though...Most women wait for guys to approach them, so even still if you never approach a woman, whats your chances of meeting a woman? slim
But if you start approaching then your chances increases....
but why would a woman wait for a guy to approach em.....because oh on the contrary...... they do realize they have that power because guys are horn dogs and then there are guys who are desperate who never had a woman and their craving for the experience is eating them alive....jus think if guys never approached women......would they feel powerful? no they wouldn't......they'd feel like a regular peasant.......but society says women are these goddesses and all that bullsh1t.......men approach women makin em seem like goddesses when the truth is they're jus like us only opposite. it all depends on how accepting and open-minded she is. it's not just guys who have to do the work........it is also work on the woman to be accepting and open-minded.
tman

United States

#20 Jun 15, 2009
NYC girl 25 wrote:
If a guy wants me he needs to approach me. I'm not going out of my way for a guy. If he won't step to me then he must not be interested.
Good men do approach me, but they are always in their 30s around my moms age. The dudes that are my age range are always hoodrats. You know, the BET types. Ew that's why I'm still single. It's either date my dad or oh hell jaw would I ever mess withsome ghetto piece of shit trash!!!!
I'm 18, I have time to get a bf.
Yeah, thats why good men of all ages should approach women...Most women, like you, expect men to approach, which is fine....But I think men would have better chances at the woman they desire if they would just approach and talk to them....

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