“I am”

Level 8

Since: Jul 11

The Original Intention

#30 Dec 30, 2012
Incognito wrote:
I agree we should be given more of a chance instead of you guys just dating out too fast. We have it harder than other women. We are better looking and we raise your kids better but you guys just want something white. We are suppose to be your Goddesses but you are giving our titles away to nonbw.
I agree with you on this. 100%

Everybody had this opinion up until around the 90's. Brothers used to clown dudes with non black women.

I ain't against IR.. But some of these brothers really aren't trying once they make a little bit of money or come out the hood.

“Shine Bright Like...”

Level 5

Since: Jan 12

A Diamond

#31 Dec 30, 2012
I believe ALL people in IR place less expectation on their non Black partner.

Good thread Mr. A, I'm glad someone's man enough to tell the truth.

“I am”

Level 8

Since: Jul 11

The Original Intention

#32 Dec 30, 2012
SEXYBLKWOMAN wrote:
Fascinating thread, usually it's black women doing the build a nicca workshop..
I can see what you're saying because if you're positive person and you don't like alot a drama a woman will adjust for you.
She will you have to be logical about it though.

If it's for some dumb reason it will just offend her, and rightfully so. Like if Kip is saying she's loud at a gathering or somewhere where it hurts no one.. then that's just him being too critical for no reason.

And that will offend her.

But if it's at a social outting where everybody is in suits and everything and speaking low.. 9 times out of 10 she will listen to you if you are cool about it.

“esa hembra es mala”

Level 8

Since: Sep 09

Location hidden

#33 Dec 30, 2012
MrAnderson9 wrote:
<quoted text>
She will you have to be logical about it though.
If it's for some dumb reason it will just offend her, and rightfully so. Like if Kip is saying she's loud at a gathering or somewhere where it hurts no one.. then that's just him being too critical for no reason.
And that will offend her.
But if it's at a social outting where everybody is in suits and everything and speaking low.. 9 times out of 10 she will listen to you if you are cool about it.
Personally I don't like loud ghetto acting heffa's either they embarrass the nice black women out there, but truly if you're a no drama having man I think that you can change those qualities in your woman, not her personality persay but as you said her habits..

“I am”

Level 8

Since: Jul 11

The Original Intention

#34 Dec 30, 2012
Blaq American Princess wrote:
I believe ALL people in IR place less expectation on their non Black partner.
Good thread Mr. A, I'm glad someone's man enough to tell the truth.
Thanks,

I think that A lot of us brothers are guilty of saying that BW don't understand history and why things are the way they are....

.. but we don't take into account that we must also understand history and why things are the way they are with black women.

“I am”

Level 8

Since: Jul 11

The Original Intention

#35 Dec 30, 2012
SEXYBLKWOMAN wrote:
<quoted text>
Personally I don't like loud ghetto acting heffa's either they embarrass the nice black women out there, but truly if you're a no drama having man I think that you can change those qualities in your woman, not her personality persay but as you said her habits..
I agree. And I don't think that a lot of black women are loud and ghetto.. I was just using that as an extreme for the discussion... to cover any of the traits bm may be having an issue with.

I think BW are tired, and rightfully so, again they may not understand all the dynamics.. but there are still areas that bm really do drop the ball in some instances.. and 1 of the major ones is when some dudes get rich how they go for non black women.. It's not a majority.. but the backlash for them doing this isn't loud enough from bm that don't do this.. so it's become acceptable.

“Shine Bright Like...”

Level 5

Since: Jan 12

A Diamond

#36 Dec 30, 2012
MrAnderson9 wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks,
I think that A lot of us brothers are guilty of saying that BW don't understand history and why things are the way they are....
.. but we don't take into account that we must also understand history and why things are the way they are with black women.
I agree, I feel like there should be an effort to meet each other halfway.

I'm curious as to know what your theory is about why things are the way they are. Care to elaborate?

“I am”

Level 8

Since: Jul 11

The Original Intention

#37 Dec 30, 2012
Blaq American Princess wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree, I feel like there should be an effort to meet each other halfway.
I'm curious as to know what your theory is about why things are the way they are. Care to elaborate?
I don't think things are "Dire" or on the brink of calamity or anything like that like some people claim..

But I think things have become complicated and I think we have allowed our progression as a people to be slowed down by this.

I think that everybody is having a reaction to everybody elses reaction.

I think BW are reacting to BM, and BM are reacting to BW.

Every body feels justified.. and if you don't take other factors into consideration, then everybody is justified..

At this point it's simply up to everybody to decide on an individual basis how we chose to react.

an example is..

Right now If a BM says bw are attacking bm and throwing us under the bus so I'm going to date non black women..

..He's justified.. That's really happening.

and ..

If a BW says BM are too risky...

... She's justified.. All things considered.. she's right.

So it's a complex state that we're in right now.. Because technically everybody is justified to react however they please and be justified in doing so.

It just boils down to "How much do you care about the black family" , and our decision in how we proceed tells how much we really meant to each other .. even if the problems didn't exist.

So these Successful brothers with non black women ... that use the current state of bw as an excuse... They never cared... you can't turn of caring. You either care or you don't.

It's like the wedding vows...these are the unwritten "race" vows that we have with each other as well..

" In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live."

For us though, we believe we have "options". We've lost respect for this natural covenant.... and as I said earlier.. everybody is justified :)

Crazy ain't it..

“esa hembra es mala”

Level 8

Since: Sep 09

Location hidden

#38 Dec 30, 2012
MrAnderson9 wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree. And I don't think that a lot of black women are loud and ghetto.. I was just using that as an extreme for the discussion... to cover any of the traits bm may be having an issue with.
I think BW are tired, and rightfully so, again they may not understand all the dynamics.. but there are still areas that bm really do drop the ball in some instances.. and 1 of the major ones is when some dudes get rich how they go for non black women.. It's not a majority.. but the backlash for them doing this isn't loud enough from bm that don't do this.. so it's become acceptable.
No not all are but alot are and indeed need to change. There is nothing wrong with having a mind of your own but you don't have to act loud or ghetto/trashy while out in public.

“Pick ya poison, Ya Bish!”

Level 6

Since: Aug 11

Location hidden

#39 Dec 30, 2012
Thread had good intentions but....

Here's my take on this i believe some of these successful black men don't try hard when it comes to black women. Yet do everything in their power to get and please non black women. Black men need to have realistic view of all women, realize ALL women are technically the same. Some go about thing differently , that's what some of these men fail to realize. Black women have a hard exterior which can be difficult to deal with. I admit i'm like that but i am also the sweetest person ever and easy to get along with.

I don't think we deserve any leeway just because we're black women. Hun black men owe black women nothing vice versa. All we need to do is respect and love one another which we aren't doing. But what ive notice many of these men would give non black women leeway and make excuses. A black women has no room for error when it comes to black men she do one thing wrong she's label the "stereotypical BW". I've notice this as i got older , Many of them aren't trying some think black women aren't worthy and their too good for a bw. I've notice this more from interracial black men located in california. Other interracial black men located else where are cool and tend to try and are actually nice men.

Overall i do think some of those black men give non black women more chances, also they lower their standards when it comes to them.... I just wish these men will take the time to help build up black women. Black women do it all the time but sadly many black men want to take the "easy" way .
happy

Brooklyn, NY

#40 Dec 30, 2012
IDontMeanToBeRude wrote:
Black men dont care about helping their women. They put themselves first, which is one of my personal beliefs to why the black race is failing.
Enough said. However, NOT ALL, but to an enormous of MANY that is truely their mindset; how unfortunate for those whom put forth SO MUCH effort with SO MANY others, placing it (in vein). The woman's role is truely not to keep THE TRIBE, THE GROUP, NEIGHBORHOOD and/or COMMUNITY together. It is the men.
Women roles are purposed for assisting the man; both are need in order to accomplish these task successfully. The (man) is THE HEAD, the (woman) is THE NECK; the (head ) w/o. A ( neck ) isn't shyt, and the ( neck ) without a ( head ), isn't shyt. Therefore a diaster to remain. PASS IT ON...
happy

Brooklyn, NY

#41 Dec 30, 2012
SEXYBLKWOMAN wrote:
<quoted text>
Personally I don't like loud ghetto acting heffa's either they embarrass the nice black women out there, but truly if you're a no drama having man I think that you can change those qualities in your woman, not her personality persay but as you said her habits..
So realisticly true. So true.

“I am”

Level 8

Since: Jul 11

The Original Intention

#42 Dec 31, 2012
SEXYBLKWOMAN wrote:
<quoted text>
No not all are but alot are and indeed need to change. There is nothing wrong with having a mind of your own but you don't have to act loud or ghetto/trashy while out in public.
I agree.

“Shine Bright Like...”

Level 5

Since: Jan 12

A Diamond

#43 Dec 31, 2012
I should have known that because this thread is one with good intentions, it would not explode overnight.

I guess some people really do crave drama.

Anyway, we're always complaining about the media and the ramifications it has on people's mentality, when we should be able to use it to our advantage. I think BET is a good platform since it caters to Black people.

If we had Black leaders willing to step up and make a collaborative effort to "fix" our communities with first changing the way we think, the way we show love and respect to each other, it would have a huge impact on adults and youth alike.

If we don't respect ourselves, our legacy and each other we can't expect others to.

Change won't happen overnight, but it has to start somewhere.

Anyone else have any ideas?

“Shine Bright Like...”

Level 5

Since: Jan 12

A Diamond

#44 Dec 31, 2012
SEXYBLKWOMAN wrote:
<quoted text>
No not all are but alot are and indeed need to change. There is nothing wrong with having a mind of your own but you don't have to act loud or ghetto/trashy while out in public.
I agree, but we really can't fault them for the way they act if they don't know any better.

Like he said, they are ignorant. They don't know anything other than what they learned in the ghetto.

If their parents failed to help them to become productive members of society, then whose shoulders does it fall on?

Our society has failed us as a whole. It's up to those who are enlightened to try in any way to make it better. Even if you mentor someone you see heading in the wrong direction, or feeding a child who's hungry, or even buying something as simple as a pair of shoes.

Every little effort counts, and you never know when you've touched someone's life and because of that ONE act of kindness, you just may have saved them.

I watch a lot of documentaries, violence doesn't stem from just plain evilness imo. The mentality in the streets is, they have to survive, one way or the other. They're willing to commit robberies, sell drugs, or prostitute just to SURVIVE and provide for themselves and their families.

Level 8

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#45 Dec 31, 2012
MrAnderson9 wrote:
I think that one problem with successful black men is that we don't have a realistic view of black women..
Women in general are dumb. By add the societal pressures and history on top of all this and there's black women.
I agree the women are at an all low in desirability, and many successful bm are dating out of the race.
I think that some of these men aren't trying.
BM should put in 110% effort into being with a black woman before dating out.
Of course it's easier to just go run to a non black woman.. But I think that once you build a black woman up, she's the best fit for a black man.
It's just the building up part that these BM aren't willing to do. Some of these women are loud, angry, mean.. etc etc...
But I do believe that they can be molded into good women.
The reason they are the way they are now, is because a lot of BM are taking the easy route and just going to non black women.
A lot of these non black women meet the criteria up front.. but for the long haul they fade.
I think all brothers should give Sistas some leeway and accept a little more from her than you would normally take. Just work with her, and you can eventually mold her.
Don't just see the headache and dodge it. These women are just hurting. Even if it is a manufactured hurt..
Give them a fair chance before deciding to date out, and be prepared to give them more leeway than you would give other women.
You owe it to them.
Anderson, I agree with you, but with certain caveats.

First of all, you need to choose the RIGHT woman to build up. Not all women are good malleable material.

The first thing you gotta look at is AGE. If they over 25, you can forget it...they're stuck in their ways and not gonna change. In fact their bad habits will only get worse with time, NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOU TREAT THEM OR WHAT YOU DO. But if you can get them about 17, 18, 19 and start building them up the right way and teaching them and basically molding them into the kind of women you want, you will reap the benefits later.

The other thing is CHARACTER. She has to be smart enough to "get it"... and she has to have the kind of character that makes her value her relationship and her man and be someone who is flexible and can be TAUGHT and know it's for her own good.

If you can find a chick like that, THEN you can make a big difference in her life and yours too.

But you can't just get some hard-a88 30-something with a bad attitude and think you can reform her no matter how hard you try. that's NOT gonna happen.

You gotta salvage what you can and let chips fall where they may with the rest.

Level 8

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#46 Dec 31, 2012
BlackReign wrote:
Thread had good intentions but....
Here's my take on this i believe some of these successful black men don't try hard when it comes to black women. Yet do everything in their power to get and please non black women. Black men need to have realistic view of all women, realize ALL women are technically the same. Some go about thing differently , that's what some of these men fail to realize. Black women have a hard exterior which can be difficult to deal with. I admit i'm like that but i am also the sweetest person ever and easy to get along with.
I don't think we deserve any leeway just because we're black women. Hun black men owe black women nothing vice versa. All we need to do is respect and love one another which we aren't doing. But what ive notice many of these men would give non black women leeway and make excuses. A black women has no room for error when it comes to black men she do one thing wrong she's label the "stereotypical BW". I've notice this as i got older , Many of them aren't trying some think black women aren't worthy and their too good for a bw. I've notice this more from interracial black men located in california. Other interracial black men located else where are cool and tend to try and are actually nice men.
Overall i do think some of those black men give non black women more chances, also they lower their standards when it comes to them.... I just wish these men will take the time to help build up black women. Black women do it all the time but sadly many black men want to take the "easy" way .
i see bw degrading themselves and acting in the most embarrassing, scandalous ways all the time and people act like they didn't see it because everybody wants to protect a woman whether it's to protect her physically or emotionally or her reputation. bw need to take each other in hand and call each other out on some of the fked up behavior that they exhibit.

“Pick ya poison, Ya Bish!”

Level 6

Since: Aug 11

Location hidden

#47 Dec 31, 2012
Desmond Sandiford wrote:
<quoted text>i see bw degrading themselves and acting in the most embarrassing, scandalous ways all the time and people act like they didn't see it because everybody wants to protect a woman whether it's to protect her physically or emotionally or her reputation. bw need to take each other in hand and call each other out on some of the fked up behavior that they exhibit.
Sir , i've never excused black women behavior , i call them out as well. I acknowledge the fact that's it's some screwed up black women. Yet i've never seen you do to the same for your fellow brothas so don't start. This specific thread have nothing to with black women and their scandalous ways. So don't make it about it , you always tend to deflect from the subject at hand. I'm merely stating my opinion and i don't know what my response had to do with any you just mentioned.

P.S Black Women get called out all the time , if it's any race of women who consistently getting called out it's black women. Other races of women behavior are excused while we get penalized for everything we do. All your post always exhibit some form of anger, seriously get the chip off your shoulder.

Happy New Year , wishing you nothing but peace and positivity.

Level 3

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#48 Dec 31, 2012
lol Black men who are successful will not chase after a black woman who places white men above them. In corporate amerikkka black women routinely act in this manner, and after dealing with enough sellout black women black men develop a quick trigger. One strike and you are OUT!
Soul Hunter

Los Angeles, CA

#50 Dec 31, 2012
MrAnderson9 I think that one problem with successful black men is that we don't have a realistic view of black women..
Women in general are dumb. By add the societal pressures and history on top of all this and there's black women.
I agree the women are at an all low in desirability, and many successful bm are dating out of the race.
I think that some of these men aren't trying.
BM should put in 110% effort into being with a black woman before dating out.
Of course it's easier to just go run to a non black woman.. But I think that once you build a black woman up, she's the best fit for a black man.
It's just the building up part that these BM aren't willing to do. Some of these women are loud, angry, mean.. etc etc...
But I do believe that they can be molded into good women.
The reason they are the way they are now, is because a lot of BM are taking the easy route and just going to non black women.
A lot of these non black women meet the criteria up front.. but for the long haul they fade.
I think all brothers should give Sistas some leeway and accept a little more from her than you would normally take. Just work with her, and you can eventually mold her.
Don't just see the headache and dodge it. These women are just hurting. Even if it is a manufactured hurt..
Give them a fair chance before deciding to date out, and be prepared to give them more leeway than you would give other women.
You owe it to them.

You are mistaken bm do have a realistic view of bw which is why many have having chosen to opt out of bw. You can save all that bm should put in 110percent nonsense thats just to much work and most are flat not worth the effort.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

African-American Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
ir bw ,I hate you 11 min Ashley Morrison 17
Hebrew Israelite (Feb '11) 12 min Fact 120,634
Wake up! "AFRICAN AMERICANS" are not AFRICAN. (Feb '11) 25 min African AE 937
Why are white women superior? (Aug '13) 25 min Tamale 34
Why did Mexico send an Olmec head to Ethiopia? (Oct '13) 29 min Curious Me 343
News Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 47 min Yeah 1,232,946
blacks are obessed with white people 50 min proudBM 2
Van Sertima debunked! Afronazis Drowning in Tears! 1 hr African AE 376
34 Murdered in Baltimore Since Freddie Gray Died 2 hr jimp 106
why do white people hate other races so much 3 hr siftvanilla 399
All women prefer white men 3 hr jimp 4,655
More from around the web