why don't men want to pay child support???

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nappy neffie

Saint Petersburg, FL

#1 Aug 6, 2008
i have a friend i was just talking to on the phone and she has nothing to feed her kids, and no gas in the car because her oldest son's dad didn't pay his child support..AGAIN!! dang fellas,if you knock somebody up,even if you dont stay together with the mom, HANDLE YA BUSINESS AND PAY YOUR CHILD SUPPORT!! come on,now. what's up with that?? y'all know the kids' well being depends on that money.
mommy4life

Marietta, GA

#2 Aug 6, 2008
men are pigs!! my ex is in the medical field and still won't pay!! he is behind 2 1/2 years. all this while he is making more babies

Since: May 07

Fort Washington, MD

#3 Aug 6, 2008
nappy neffie wrote:
i have a friend i was just talking to on the phone and she has nothing to feed her kids, and no gas in the car because her oldest son's dad didn't pay his child support..AGAIN!! dang fellas,if you knock somebody up,even if you dont stay together with the mom, HANDLE YA BUSINESS AND PAY YOUR CHILD SUPPORT!! come on,now. what's up with that?? y'all know the kids' well being depends on that money.
Hi NN. Good point.I don't know the exact cause behind why men refuse to pay child support other than they aren't financially stable enough to put out as much as whats needed which is all that I can give you.Laws have been put in place for fathers to pay up or they will face jail time for avoiding child care support, so that should make fathers think twice about trying to go deadbeat on their kids.
DisgruntledWhite Bigot

Brooklyn, NY

#4 Aug 6, 2008
F child support. I'd rather raise my children with my wife.
;-P
DariasSickSadWor ld

El Paso, TX

#5 Aug 6, 2008
I guess some fear that child support will keep going up, and some just think a majority of the money is going to the ex wife/baby's mama.

There is still no cause for men to be dead beat dads.

“love is color blind”

Since: Jul 08

Saint Petersburg, FL

#6 Aug 6, 2008
Mack the Great wrote:
<quoted text>
Hi NN. Good point.I don't know the exact cause behind why men refuse to pay child support other than they aren't financially stable enough to put out as much as whats needed which is all that I can give you.Laws have been put in place for fathers to pay up or they will face jail time for avoiding child care support, so that should make fathers think twice about trying to go deadbeat on their kids.
yea, my friend's child support isn't court ordered,so she has a hard time getting paid.she doesn't know his ss# or his whereabouts. he usually just shows up and gives her a little sum -sum,then just leaves. he does this like every week normally.it's been 3 weeks though and he ain't brought her nothing over.me and my husband just had to give her money again to feed the kids cause she didn't have anything.i'm not complaining,that's my friend and i love her to death.i just wish men would care enough to do for the child whether it's court ordered or not.i wish there was a way to track down his ss#,then she could file the necessary paperwork to put him on child support.
SMH at Ignorance

Secaucus, NJ

#7 Aug 6, 2008
nappy neffie wrote:
i have a friend i was just talking to on the phone and she has nothing to feed her kids, and no gas in the car because her oldest son's dad didn't pay his child support..AGAIN!! dang fellas,if you knock somebody up,even if you dont stay together with the mom, HANDLE YA BUSINESS AND PAY YOUR CHILD SUPPORT!! come on,now. what's up with that?? y'all know the kids' well being depends on that money.
And just a simple question here. I am sure your friend by now is aware she laid up and had children by a bum correct? If this is true why is she NOT getting out there and making sure her children don't go without? Is she just sitting on the couch waiting for the child support to come in and crying when it doesn't? I would say to this get up get out there and provide for your children.

“Selah”

Level 1

Since: Aug 07

Ellenwood, GA

#8 Aug 6, 2008
There are two sides of every story. Let's not all jump on the men aint shyt bandwagon!

It takes money to raise children period. So if one parent doesn't want to contribute why waste time talking about it? The child or children still need to eat.

So in this case what is your friend doing to provide for her children? Sitting on the phone complaining is not helping. I know every situation is different but I like to deal in reality. For your child's welfare you have to suck it up and do what it takes to provide. I have a daughter and I am not with her dad. I didn't take him to court and he has always helped us financially. But if he decided one day to stop she still has to be taken care of and that is my responsibility.

“love is color blind”

Since: Jul 08

Saint Petersburg, FL

#9 Aug 6, 2008
mommy4life wrote:
men are pigs!! my ex is in the medical field and still won't pay!! he is behind 2 1/2 years. all this while he is making more babies
aw man,that's messed up. what is wrong with these guys?? this subject is really ticking me off. i just don't understand how you could know a part of you is in need,and you still don't do anything about it. those poor kids.they didn't even ask to be here and they have to suffer without basic necessities at times. he's in the medical field?? surely he can give you something. girl,if i was you i'd get all 'inspector gadgety' and find out that social security number,file that paperwork,and get that child support money.
YouNeverKnow

Germantown, MD

#10 Aug 6, 2008
Is the baby his? Did he get a DNA test.
Also you state "her oldest sons dad".
How many baby daddies does she have?

“love is color blind”

Since: Jul 08

Saint Petersburg, FL

#11 Aug 6, 2008
SMH at Ignorance wrote:
<quoted text>And just a simple question here. I am sure your friend by now is aware she laid up and had children by a bum correct? If this is true why is she NOT getting out there and making sure her children don't go without? Is she just sitting on the couch waiting for the child support to come in and crying when it doesn't? I would say to this get up get out there and provide for your children.
and who said she wasn't doing everything she could for her kids?? she has 4 kids and there's only so much she can do by herself.what would you suggest she do, rob people?pull a 'set it off' and rob a bank? she's already doing all she can,obviously.it's not her job to do it all.the daddy should be there and not out somewhere doing him while the kid suffers. also,all of her kids fathers are not bums,just her oldest son's. the last 3 kids all have the same dad and he is deceased.

“love is color blind”

Since: Jul 08

Saint Petersburg, FL

#12 Aug 6, 2008
LaTasha wrote:
There are two sides of every story. Let's not all jump on the men aint shyt bandwagon!
It takes money to raise children period. So if one parent doesn't want to contribute why waste time talking about it? The child or children still need to eat.
So in this case what is your friend doing to provide for her children? Sitting on the phone complaining is not helping. I know every situation is different but I like to deal in reality. For your child's welfare you have to suck it up and do what it takes to provide. I have a daughter and I am not with her dad. I didn't take him to court and he has always helped us financially. But if he decided one day to stop she still has to be taken care of and that is my responsibility.
yea,i feel you. but why is everyone acting like she is just sitting on her azz not doing nothing? she DOES go to work but she has 4 kids.her job is not that great,she's a housekeeper at a hospital and makes like 8 or 9 dollars per hr. come on,we know that's nothing, especially when you got 4 other mouths to feed besides your own. she's not just sitting around. the thing is too,only her oldest son's dad is still living. the last 3 have the same dad and he passed a few years ago.so her oldest son's dad is the only other person she has to depend on. it's hard for her as a single mom. she tries so hard,and she's such a good mom and a good person. it hurts to see a good sista struggling like that. these men need to stop running away from their responsibility and handle it. it aint right leaving these women and children to fend for themselves while they go on living life as they please.
Rachel

Secaucus, NJ

#13 Aug 6, 2008
If this woman woman's last three children's dad is deceased. They should be eligible for social security on the deceased father' work history. If the woman was married to him she can also get widow's social security for herself on the deceased father's claim. So if only the oldest child's father don't pay child support she shouldn't be too bad off.

I think some people just think that "Someone" is supposed to provide for them. She made the choice to have children with loser(s) and that was her choice. Now she needs to buck up and do what she has to do for her children. That is called motherhood btw.
Joao Pequeno

Bethesda, MD

#14 Aug 6, 2008
YouNeverKnow wrote:
Is the baby his? Did he get a DNA test.
Also you state "her oldest sons dad".
How many baby daddies does she have?
C/S
She sound like the stereotypical baby mama.

“love is color blind”

Since: Jul 08

Saint Petersburg, FL

#15 Aug 6, 2008
YouNeverKnow wrote:
Is the baby his? Did he get a DNA test.
Also you state "her oldest sons dad".
How many baby daddies does she have?
yes,the baby is his. he never had to question it cause they look just alike. he acknowledges that it is his son. she only has 2 'baby daddies'. punk just don't wanna man up and handle his.
ray ray

Tucson, AZ

#16 Aug 6, 2008
LaTasha wrote:
There are two sides of every story. Let's not all jump on the men aint shyt bandwagon!
It takes money to raise children period. So if one parent doesn't want to contribute why waste time talking about it? The child or children still need to eat.
So in this case what is your friend doing to provide for her children? Sitting on the phone complaining is not helping. I know every situation is different but I like to deal in reality. For your child's welfare you have to suck it up and do what it takes to provide. I have a daughter and I am not with her dad. I didn't take him to court and he has always helped us financially. But if he decided one day to stop she still has to be taken care of and that is my responsibility.
That's right, I payed child support for 4 years before I got custody of my children! If you don't support your own, your not a Man, but a little putz!
MD Hopeful

Baker, LA

#17 Aug 6, 2008
Yes...lets talk about child support. I been waiting for somebody else to bring it up because this subject itches me. First of all, no I don't think that men should be made to pay for kids that aren't theirs and the mothers and fathers should do equal shares. I don't even think that it should get to a point where child support is needed, but it does so...lets get to the top two reasons men claim to not pay child support.

1. The baby may not be theirs.

Well black men, this is finally your chance to have the law give you a just result. Justice is on your side in this case. Go to the court and get a DNA test. With technology the way it is today...this doesn't even make any since. I'ma need for ya'll to sit down and come up with another, better excuse.
The truth: He knows that their is a good chance that the baby may be his and if he gets a DNA test and the baby is his, he will no longer have this excuse to hide behind. It's all about tricking his mind into having a valid reason for being a deadbeat father.

and my favorite...
NUMBER 2: She will not spend the money on the kids...she will use it for herself. Granted this does happen in which case... that poor child smh. The child has a deadbeat mother and father. Spend time with your child, have them spend a week with you. Take them places, do things with them, teach them things, do things a father should do. If you do this, you will be able to see where your money is going. If your child is looking raggedy go to the courts and complain about the way your money is being spent. Or buy things yourself for this child and save the receipts. If you can prove that you are providing for the child in equal share with the mother, you will not be placed on child support by the courts. But noooo... you cannot spend time with somebody you owe it to...this would cut into your time with the boys or your time running women all up and through the house. Well if you don't have time to take to ensure the well being of your child, the courts should place you on child support.

Disclaimer: I know their are some scandalous so called mothers out there too...that don't spend the money on the kids...or got another bum living with her and expect her baby daddy to support the kid, her, and the other bum. I just wanted to call men out, because women get called out on this all the time. But these two "reasons" have seem to become accepted by society and are considered valid arguments of a man, when truth be told it is no more valid than the mother thinking the father should provide 100% of the funding for the kid.

“Semper Gumby!”

Since: May 08

London, UK

#18 Aug 6, 2008
Because it ain't ours!!!

Just playin...

Anyone who doesn't pay child support is a deadbeat.

“You're gonna say it anyway....”

Since: Jan 08

I'm over it!

#19 Aug 6, 2008
If you lie down with dogs...as my mom would say, you will wake up with fleas.

This is just a case of being selfish. Sad but the facts are there.

But I say...do not depend on a man for support....have it yourself. That way, your child does not go without.

I would have died before I let my baby go without food, clothes, toys, vacations...and so on.

I do not get it.

I know many single mothers and their kids get the best of everything without benefit of a man or his money. He knows he should pay it...but he may not do what is right.

If you get the support...goodie...but be prepared to take care of things alone, just in case.

And for crying out loud, stop talking about what dogs men are in front of their kids! He may not be there...but you laid down with him! Brush off the fleas...and get to work!!!

“A HUGE C-I-A-R-A FAN!”

Since: Apr 08

Flashing Lights Chicago, IL

#20 Aug 6, 2008
nappy neffie wrote:
i have a friend i was just talking to on the phone and she has nothing to feed her kids, and no gas in the car because her oldest son's dad didn't pay his child support..AGAIN!! dang fellas,if you knock somebody up,even if you dont stay together with the mom, HANDLE YA BUSINESS AND PAY YOUR CHILD SUPPORT!! come on,now. what's up with that?? y'all know the kids' well being depends on that money.
THere are a number of reasons why a guy doesn't pay child support, none in which, are legitamite excuses:

1.Selfishness
2.Doubts of the child being his (that's what DNA testing is for).
3.Unemployedor is working at a crappy job
4.Working "under the table."
6.Child was a product of infidelity.
7.Stubborn baby's mother.
8.Agression towards baby's mother.
9.Irresponible.
10.Maybe the father doesn't know about the child in question.
11.Sufferning from hardship.
12.Believes he is sterile (also number two).
13.Family memebers are involved in person matters.
14.Some women use it as support for them and not the child.

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