Why Is It So Hard For Black Women to Find The Love They Deserve?

Apr 3, 2014 | Posted by: roboblogger | Full story: Essence Magazine

"There are no good men available!" "I can't take these guys seriously." "They don't want the same things that I do."

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1 - 20 of 121 Comments Last updated Apr 10, 2014
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Since: May 12

Location hidden

#1 Apr 5, 2014
BW have fallen out of love with Black men. I think BM's high IR with women from other groups, has eroded the bond or "perceived" bond that BW felt with them.
Many BW don't feel that BM have their backs, they feel and see on forums, youtube, FB that BM have non-BW's backs and will tear a BW down if she utters words of dissent.
It's not that BW can't get BM, it's that BW don't trust BM to be see any more value in her, than other men raised in racist societies... and that's a very sad conclusion for BW to have come to and it makes them feel like there are no good BM.
There are good BM, just BM that BW don't feel will be good for them.
carlos

United States

#2 Apr 5, 2014
here this dumb tramp goes again
River Rains

Lansing, MI

#4 Apr 5, 2014
I've definitely fallen out of love with black men,I just feel indifference towards them.Even black men who are married to or dating black women run to the defense of white women these days.That is not sexy or appealing.
They just seem ashy and weak,even their r&b songs from the past don't seem authentic or evoke good feelings.Its like they wrote them with non bw in mind.

“Love deeply”

Since: Apr 14

Location hidden

#5 Apr 5, 2014
I Found the Love of my Life. Is not that I don't love black men, You just Can't Help Who You Fall In Love With. I'm not one to put black men down, or boast about interracial relationships. I'm just in one. It's normal.
carlos

United States

#6 Apr 5, 2014
look at these white boys posting to the thread pretending to be black women. Lmao
carlos

United States

#7 Apr 5, 2014
sick mofos

“Lovely soul”

Level 2

Since: Aug 12

Location hidden

#8 Apr 5, 2014
I think we just make up excuses to not be with good bm. We want what we can't have. Smh
Cigar Face21

Tampa, FL

#9 Apr 5, 2014
Tishauna wrote:
I think we just make up excuses to not be with good bm. We want what we can't have. Smh
If you really want to know the truth why this isn't an issue! Some sistahs reject the good brothas cause they feel they are not good enough for them and they would marry a cracked out crakkka living in a drug center just because he isnt a brotha. The reasons behind the disappointments are they chose to hate us because of what their mom or the media has poisoned their minds with.We all love feminine sweet smart lovely sistahs. Now I know I do!

“Lovely soul”

Level 2

Since: Aug 12

Location hidden

#10 Apr 5, 2014
Cigar Face21 wrote:
<quoted text>If you really want to know the truth why this isn't an issue! Some sistahs reject the good brothas cause they feel they are not good enough for them and they would marry a cracked out crakkka living in a drug center just because he isnt a brotha. The reasons behind the disappointments are they chose to hate us because of what their mom or the media has poisoned their minds with.We all love feminine sweet smart lovely sistahs. Now I know I do!
I don't know I mean I see some bw on YouTube with very handsome white husbands. The other thing they all have in common is they all have natural hair and are on their natural hair journey. But if their mothers did poison their minds, then wouldn't their mothers be the generation from like the 40s and 50s? Isn't that when black people genuinely loved each other?
Ps. I for one reject good guys because the one who I thought was a really good guy, going to college, has his stuff together, was working and was really smart ended up lying to me and having a child with his ex while we were dating. It's hard to tell who is who. He was definitely a wolf in sheeps clothing. It's a trust issue.
Cigar Face21

Tampa, FL

#11 Apr 5, 2014
Tishauna wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't know I mean I see some bw on YouTube with very handsome white husbands. The other thing they all have in common is they all have natural hair and are on their natural hair journey. But if their mothers did poison their minds, then wouldn't their mothers be the generation from like the 40s and 50s? Isn't that when black people genuinely loved each other?
Ps. I for one reject good guys because the one who I thought was a really good guy, going to college, has his stuff together, was working and was really smart ended up lying to me and having a child with his ex while we were dating. It's hard to tell who is who. He was definitely a wolf in sheeps clothing. It's a trust issue.
You actually hate us good black brothas cause one guy lied and took advantage of you? You must be very young and still stuck up! You shouldn't have that stereotypical mind set cause your gonna regret it. Not all of us are like that. I think you do love us and would get that good brothah if the righteous one crossed your path. Stop fooling yourself and following these female impersonators here on topix. We all love the good sistahs. I surely do! Why do you feel the need to hate us??
lol

Toronto, Canada

#12 Apr 5, 2014
It's very easy. Nobody wants shemales. Even black men run away from them as somebody would ran away from the devil. A black man dating a black woman is like a white man dating a white man.

“Lovely soul”

Level 2

Since: Aug 12

Location hidden

#14 Apr 5, 2014
Cigar Face21 wrote:
<quoted text>You actually hate us good black brothas cause one guy lied and took advantage of you? You must be very young and still stuck up! You shouldn't have that stereotypical mind set cause your gonna regret it. Not all of us are like that. I think you do love us and would get that good brothah if the righteous one crossed your path. Stop fooling yourself and following these female impersonators here on topix. We all love the good sistahs. I surely do! Why do you feel the need to hate us??
I don't hate...I just find it really hard to trust. I don't wanna be like those old bitter women mad at the world because of the men she was with in her lifetime.
Ugh

Houston, TX

#15 Apr 5, 2014
Shalimar, first of all, this notion that y'all fell out of love with us is ego-boosting on comical levels. One only need to look at IR stats to see who fell out of love with who, first. Don't flatter yourself, sis. Y'all aren't all that. Not even close.

Just to show you defective Black American women and thing here, BM are CRAZY about Somali and Eritrean Black Women, even over you as the Nation-Builder of the Black American identity. You better hope we don't find a way to date/marry en mass with those highly sought-after Black Women.

It will completely WIPE YOUR BUTTS OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH FOR GOOD.

“Lovely soul”

Level 2

Since: Aug 12

Location hidden

#16 Apr 5, 2014
Ugh wrote:
Shalimar, first of all, this notion that y'all fell out of love with us is ego-boosting on comical levels. One only need to look at IR stats to see who fell out of love with who, first. Don't flatter yourself, sis. Y'all aren't all that. Not even close.
Just to show you defective Black American women and thing here, BM are CRAZY about Somali and Eritrean Black Women, even over you as the Nation-Builder of the Black American identity. You better hope we don't find a way to date/marry en mass with those highly sought-after Black Women.
It will completely WIPE YOUR BUTTS OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH FOR GOOD.
Woah, lol I wouldn't say "crazy". The only black man I know who talks about them is Drake. And he's dating a Caribbean queen. Plus I'd say they like Ethiopian & Eritrean women. The amount of Somalians here is crazy, but they always get made fun of. Especially the girls. I don't know maybe it's different for your generation..

“Lovely soul”

Level 2

Since: Aug 12

Location hidden

#17 Apr 5, 2014
lol wrote:
It's very easy. Nobody wants shemales. Even black men run away from them as somebody would ran away from the devil. A black man dating a black woman is like a white man dating a white man.
So basically you're saying black women are like white men?
Ugh

Houston, TX

#18 Apr 5, 2014
Tishauna wrote:
<quoted text>
Woah, lol I wouldn't say "crazy". The only black man I know who talks about them is Drake. And he's dating a Caribbean queen. Plus I'd say they like Ethiopian & Eritrean women. The amount of Somalians here is crazy, but they always get made fun of. Especially the girls. I don't know maybe it's different for your generation..
Where are you seeing these Somalian Women? I live in Houston Texas and we rarely see a large number of Africans. Mostly African males....and they ugly as f***!

I'm dying to befriends the Somalian Women. What state you live in?
KingsloveQueens

San Francisco, CA

#19 Apr 5, 2014
Shalimarr wrote:
BW have fallen out of love with Black men. I think BM's high IR with women from other groups, has eroded the bond or "perceived" bond that BW felt with them.
Many BW don't feel that BM have their backs, they feel and see on forums, youtube, FB that BM have non-BW's backs and will tear a BW down if she utters words of dissent.
It's not that BW can't get BM, it's that BW don't trust BM to be see any more value in her, than other men raised in racist societies... and that's a very sad conclusion for BW to have come to and it makes them feel like there are no good BM.
There are good BM, just BM that BW don't feel will be good for them.
Speak only for yourself and not for others you are not every bw, but those who feel like you (if your not one of many other haters)is being a whore and your type need someone to point the finger at to keep the heat of your disgusting and degrading behavior from being your downfall ..whom better than the bm of your race ..they're could be nothing else am I right ..that's why he's your only enemy ..you can't keep your legs closed (=

“Lovely soul”

Level 2

Since: Aug 12

Location hidden

#20 Apr 5, 2014
Ugh wrote:
<quoted text>
Where are you seeing these Somalian Women? I live in Houston Texas and we rarely see a large number of Africans. Mostly African males....and they ugly as f***!
I'm dying to befriends the Somalian Women. What state you live in?
Lol I live Toronto Canada. As for African males...lol there are quite a few good looking ones here. But they're not fob.
Cigar Face21

Tampa, FL

#21 Apr 5, 2014
Tishauna wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't hate...I just find it really hard to trust. I don't wanna be like those old bitter women mad at the world because of the men she was with in her lifetime.
Well I would like to read on how you put these vicious feminist black man hating interracial lesbian nuts in their places here on topix? Good to notice your not racist against your own kind.
Cha

United States

#22 Apr 5, 2014
River Rains wrote:
I've definitely fallen out of love with black men,I just feel indifference towards them.Even black men who are married to or dating black women run to the defense of white women these days.That is not sexy or appealing.
They just seem ashy and weak,even their r&b songs from the past don't seem authentic or evoke good feelings.Its like they wrote them with non bw in mind.
Wow,...I've heard a lot of blackwomen say this; in reference to the classic R&B songs. Its as even though there is nothing for thee emotion of appeal anymore. Hey, that's powerful and now I see that it REALLY must with stands to be true.

My mate is Jamaican and we BOTH listen to old school Jamaican artist and music of course, along with classic R&B; but...I've heard A LOT of blackwomen express the very same thing in reference to BLACK MEN music; in reference to BLACK MALE artist; THEY DON'T EVEN DESIRE TO LISTEN TO THE MUSIC anymore. A while back blackwomen felt that the black man's music they felt apart of- that the music embraced them however, that feeling NO longer exit. Wow..powerful; however, sad. And I'm sure black men feel that same way about blackwomen artist and their music.

What's being said is not refering to bi-racial women and bi-racial male artist or other race artist; but FULL BLACK individuals males and perhapes females if black men are likewise feeling the same way.

Wow powerful; however sad. Wow,...now I guess they'll be a gender nonsense war on black men and blackwomen music- not being appealing to one another anylonger. So who will loose out on the 'cash money?' EVERYONE I guess.

Latino music, is a Romantic form of music towards the man and the women- the culture itself is- so their good; same African born people music as well as the same with (white people) country western music, asian, and middle eastern; and you know these men are NOT going to want black men biting off their shyte or swooning their women. This is deep./lol this is deep.

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