GUYS: Your thoughts on dating/marryi...

Level 1

Since: Apr 07

United States

#64 Oct 11, 2007
Kennyinbmore wrote:
<quoted text>
where do you guys hang out at? geez
Back in the day when I viewed BW with purity, I dated a single mother with 3 children, and she asked me one night to kick her in her stomach to make her period come down! I told her that I was going to the store, and that I would be back in a minute, but I never returned! That bitch was crazy!

“Real Black Men Speak English”

Level 4

Since: May 07

Bmore

#65 Oct 11, 2007
Ashland on the 14th wrote:
<quoted text>
Back in the day when I viewed BW with purity, I dated a single mother with 3 children, and she asked me one night to kick her in her stomach to make her period come down! I told her that I was going to the store, and that I would be back in a minute, but I never returned! That bitch was crazy!
yeah she was crazy alright. I'm happy to say I've never heard that before
WXman

AOL

#66 Oct 11, 2007
Drew2 wrote:
<quoted text>
Let me say something else. If we are soft spoken and quiet or even just caring and nice, a lot of men see it as a weakness and take advantage of that. So, what is it that you guys REALLY want??!!!
Uhh, someone who is soft-spoken quiet and nice.

Ok, and attractive.

I mean, if a dude takes advantage of those qualities, then he's not the guy for you. Same thing when a woman takes advantage of a guy who's "too nice". It's way easier to ditch that loser than to become something else, just because some idiot didn't appreciate it.

Level 1

Since: Apr 07

United States

#67 Oct 11, 2007
Kennyinbmore wrote:
<quoted text>
yeah she was crazy alright. I'm happy to say I've never heard that before
I am glad to hear that!
WXman

AOL

#68 Oct 11, 2007
michi78 wrote:
<quoted text>
by the way: i grown up with a step-mother and know the troubles between children and step-parents.
That's interesting because I too grew up dealing with stepmamma-drama. It was a situation where she really only wanted to be with my father, but sort of grudgingly accepted that he had kids from a previous marriage. A lot of problems resulted and to be honest, I blamed my dad more than her.

This convinced me that a woman and her child(ren) are a package deal, and should be considered as such. If you don't want kids, it's best to avoid getting involved with a single mother.

Again, I'm not disrespecting single mom's because I know it's a tough job, but the instant-dad thing isn't for everybody. If you do find a guy that fills in, then consider yourself blessed and lucky. And for god's sake, treat that man right!!!!

“mr snoop”

Since: Mar 07

"SOUTH LONDON BABY"

#69 Oct 11, 2007
detroitchild wrote:
<quoted text>
There is a long line of men that will take both of you sweetheart.
lol,ohhh i got one response obviously not???lol but if your offering im on my way now,hahaha(:

Since: Apr 07

Madison, MS

#70 Oct 11, 2007
Kennyinbmore wrote:
<quoted text>
where do you guys hang out at? geez
Hey Kenny...there are some out there like that. Fortunately, they are not the norm. Most of the women with children I've gone out with were in stable situations BUT there were some who have a pretty warped view of the world, of men, and of their situation. Those are the ones most men want to steer clear of.

“Be about it!”

Level 3

Since: Sep 07

Denver

#71 Oct 11, 2007
Number of kids (up to two) don't matter (as long as you both have money) but No man can survive a bad ass misbehaved kid that has no discipline. Many parents are always threatening to do something and never follow thru; this creates a bad ass kid everytime. You can't take them anywhere cause you know what's gonna happen. Oh and if they have different daddys; Father's Day can look like a parking lot at your girl's crib!
Drew2

Yonkers, NY

#72 Oct 11, 2007
Vetteman wrote:
Number of kids (up to two) don't matter (as long as you both have money) but No man can survive a bad ass misbehaved kid that has no discipline. Many parents are always threatening to do something and never follow thru; this creates a bad ass kid everytime. You can't take them anywhere cause you know what's gonna happen. Oh and if they have different daddys; Father's Day can look like a parking lot at your girl's crib!
Ahaha! You're sick!
Bringing Knowledge

Englewood, CO

#73 Oct 11, 2007
Kadafi Kanati wrote:
I can deal with that unless,.........They are some spoiled a## water head a## grown a## hard head a## cry baby a## c#ck blockin a## worrysome a## "mommy I need you for everything" a## "momma who is this" a## " I don't like your boyfriend" a## " We don't approve of this engagement" a## snotty nose " he ain't my daddy" A## " Momma me and him are the same age" a## muthaf##kin kids then we'll have a problem!!
hahaha..... too funny!
Bringing Knowledge

Englewood, CO

#74 Oct 11, 2007
Actually, I married a woman that had two kids and then we had a child together and it was one BIG A$$ MESS! All I would say and preach when I was out dating was, "I don't want a woman with kids, I don't want a woman with kids and what did I end up doing, marrying a woman with kids!" I swear to God, that’s all I would meet!

I married her, trying to do the "right" "respectable" thing, when she popped up pregnant, yeah right!!! I should have followed the other two dudes lead and exited stage left, but she was playing that "I just made a mistake with baby daddy 1, you know the high school love/sweetheart, and that's understandable, then her and babby daddy 2 they were getting married... yeah right, break out the wine, cheese and crackers! Talk about a Sucker!!!

Nonetheless, here I was coming to the relationship with two cribs, A+ credit, a Professional brother doing it. Baby just came with her fineness, her sons, her bad credit and their clothes. Need I say more....

Well, all I can say is this, it didn't turn out good! Just like Martin Lawrence said in his stand up Run and tell Dat, if one person comes to the marriage with millions, and the other comes with a bag, guess what????

Well, it didn't take long before we were up in divorce court and before the marriage was disolved, my ex was pregnant again! I learned a very valuable, costly and painful lesson and that is DON'T DO IT!!!

Brothers, don't end up like me looking like Homie the Clown just now being able to take off that clown suit and get back on top of life and back in the game. I love the boys and still do, but it was h3ll and hard on them before and after. Every week you never knew what the line up was going to be at the crib on the weekends.

Fellas, stay true to yourselve’s! Now, I won't date a woman that has more than one, that's only because I have one, but I'll NEVER do that multiple children again. A woman with multiple babby daddy's has major character flaws and that will have you looking like Major Payne!

Since: Jul 07

California

#75 Oct 11, 2007
Bringing Knowledge wrote:
Actually, I married a woman that had two kids and then we had a child together and it was one BIG A$$ MESS! All I would say and preach when I was out dating was, "I don't want a woman with kids, I don't want a woman with kids and what did I end up doing, marrying a woman with kids!" I swear to God, that’s all I would meet!
I married her, trying to do the "right" "respectable" thing, when she popped up pregnant, yeah right!!! I should have followed the other two dudes lead and exited stage left, but she was playing that "I just made a mistake with baby daddy 1, you know the high school love/sweetheart, and that's understandable, then her and babby daddy 2 they were getting married... yeah right, break out the wine, cheese and crackers! Talk about a Sucker!!!
Nonetheless, here I was coming to the relationship with two cribs, A+ credit, a Professional brother doing it. Baby just came with her fineness, her sons, her bad credit and their clothes. Need I say more....
Well, all I can say is this, it didn't turn out good! Just like Martin Lawrence said in his stand up Run and tell Dat, if one person comes to the marriage with millions, and the other comes with a bag, guess what????
Well, it didn't take long before we were up in divorce court and before the marriage was disolved, my ex was pregnant again! I learned a very valuable, costly and painful lesson and that is DON'T DO IT!!!
Brothers, don't end up like me looking like Homie the Clown just now being able to take off that clown suit and get back on top of life and back in the game. I love the boys and still do, but it was h3ll and hard on them before and after. Every week you never knew what the line up was going to be at the crib on the weekends.
Fellas, stay true to yourselve’s! Now, I won't date a woman that has more than one, that's only because I have one, but I'll NEVER do that multiple children again. A woman with multiple babby daddy's has major character flaws and that will have you looking like Major Payne!
Thank you for sharing your story and the recommendation.

Since you met so many women with kids, what made you pick the woman you met instead of any of the other women with kids?
stereo type breaker

Mcdonough, GA

#76 Oct 11, 2007
Im about to be in Brady Bunch with my fiancee!

“You are by what you do!”

Level 1

Since: Apr 07

Seattle, WA

#77 Oct 11, 2007
Single women with kids are no#1 in my book...Although, they seldom have time for themselves with PTA meetings, sport's practice, work and hardly a breath in between for hot sweaty passionate sex...!!
shocker1

Bolingbrook, IL

#79 Oct 11, 2007
hey benny how u doing? to answer the question i have no problem dating a woman with kids cause #1. i like kids and would be more than willing to put another womans children in my life.#2. if you really love and care for someone then you wouldnt look at kids as an anchor. the first black woman i dated had a kid she was 3 and she was the cutest little kid i have seen. i enjoyed being with my girlfriend at the time and didnt mind when she brought her daughter along. it just isnt an issue to me it is to some but then those might be people who dont want a family, i eventually do want a family so woman with kids is just like an addition to the family my gf an i will eventually have
Bringing Knowledge

Englewood, CO

#80 Oct 12, 2007
Preppy wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank you for sharing your story and the recommendation.
Since you met so many women with kids, what made you pick the woman you met instead of any of the other women with kids?
Preppy, she talked a good game about wanting a change in life, she was a beautiful woman with alot of potential and I always believe the good in a person. She was and is a great mother to her/our child(ren) and that's what lead me to try to be open minded about her.

When things went to the left, she tried to make me pay for her past failures in her previous relationships with baby daddy's. So, now when I meet ladies that have that multiple baby daddy's I just keep on stepping no matter what excuses or reason why, how much $$$ you make and where you're going in life. I know now and really back then that's not for me!
Bringing Knowledge

Englewood, CO

#81 Oct 12, 2007
stereo type breaker wrote:
Im about to be in Brady Bunch with my fiancee!
Good Luck Stereo Type Breaker!!! I thought I was too and that I could do it. I sure hope you both are grounded in God, because if not, you're really going to have a hard time!$hit, it's hard enough out here just dealing with some of these ladies mono on mono, not even factoring in the kids...

“Be about it!”

Level 3

Since: Sep 07

Denver

#82 Oct 12, 2007
Ummmm ohhh well, I..... I guess that does it for this thread. Umm huh. ROALMAO!!!
Deektec

San Antonio, TX

#83 Oct 16, 2007
Personally, I think a man who has no kids dating or marrying a woman with kids is a bad setup from the start. The playing field is so uneven from day one.

First off, the woman has the advantage of having been a parent as long as the kid has been a kid. You learn and grow with your children. A man who has no kids who finds himself suddenly a part of a family unit has a very steep learning curve.

Another issue is that of priority. If you ask most single moms what their priority is they will say their children. Most relationship experts say that in a marriage the relationship should be the top priority. This becomes a conflict of interest for the remarried mom. Also, what man wants to be second in their partner's life?

On a personal note, I agree with Michi about what happens if the relationship does go sour. I dated and cohabitated with a woman who had two daughters whom I grew to care for a great deal myself. When the relationship went south she knew the best way to cut me was to use her kids against me because she knew even though we were having problems that I still cared for them. That was the worst breakup of my life because I didn't just lose one person I loved, I lost 3.

I would love to be able to say that women with children are not an issue, but that would be a tragic understatement of what in reality is a very complex situation where it is much easier to fail than succeed.

“You are by what you do!”

Level 1

Since: Apr 07

Seattle, WA

#84 Oct 16, 2007
I would say that more than half of childless people who date people with kids, it's men who find themselves in relationships as the person who is without children here in the US. I don't find it good or bad, just indifference. I will say that men who have no children are more willing to take a chance at such a relationship than women.

Often is said and heard around the water cooler is: "I'm a single mom". That statement alone to me (even though I'm a married man) is a complete turn off. Women seem to use that coined phrase as if it's a badge of honor to be in such a situation. If I was a single man without kids, I would not allow myself to date women with kids for fear I loose my self dignity in a competition for her love with the kids. Of course, I'd have no way of telling the future, and I can be won over by a woman with kids, who is selfless and give me equal chance to present myself a person, whom she feels that she is safe and comfortable around.

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